The adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane

|j>

I;'
1^:

THE LIBRARY

OF

THE UNIVERSITY

OF CALIFORNIA

LOS ANGELES

Digitized by the Internet Archive

in 2007 with funding from

IVIicrosoft Corporation

http://www.archive.org/details/adventuresofgilb01lesaiala

'?."(,„;?„,

Alain Rene le Sage

THE ADVENTURES

OF

GIL B L A S

OF SANTILLANE

TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH BY TOBIAS SMOLLETT

PRECEDED BY

A BIOGRAPHICAL AMD CRITICAL NOTICE OF LE SAGE

By GEORGE SAINTSBURY

^tHii^ t^3»tti>t ^rxsinat ^fc^tngs fi]; QA. be iot (ftioc
IM THREE VOLUMES— VOL. L

NEW YORK

WORTHINGTON CO., 747 Broadway

1890

College
Library

/^? 7

THE AUTHOR'S DECLARATION.

There are some people in the world so mischiev-
ous as not to read a work without applying the
vicious or ridiculous characters it may happen to
contain to eminent or popular individuals. I pro-
test publicly against the pretended discovery of any
such likenesses. My purpose was to represent hu-
man life historically as it exists : God forbid I should
hold myself out as a portrait-painter. Let not the
reader then take to himself public property ; for if
he does, he may chance to throw an unlucky light
on his own character : as Phaedrus expresses it,
Stulte nudabit animi conscientiam.

Certain physicians of Castille, as well as of France,
are sometimes a little too fond of trving: the bleedinof
and lowering system on their patients. Vices, their
patrons, and their dupes, arc of every day's occur-
rence. To be sure, I have not always adopted Span-
ish mannQrs >vith aorupulou^ ^actn^ss ; and in th«

1120823

Vi THE AUTHOR'S DECLARATION.

instance of the players at Madrid, those who know
their disorderly modes of living may reproach me
with softening down their coarser traits : but this I
have been induced to do from a sense of delicacy,
and in conformity with the manners of my own
country.

GIL BLAS TO THE READER

Reader ! hark you, my friend ! Do not begin
the story of my life till I have told you a short tale.

Two students travelled together from Penafiel to
Salamanca. Finding themselves tired and tliirsty,
they stopped by the side of a spring on the road.
While they were resting there, after having quenched
their thirst, by chance they espied on a stone near
thfem, even with the ground, part of an inscription,
in some degree effaced by time, and by the tread of
flocks in the habit of watering at that spring. Hav-
ing washed the stone, they were able to trace these
words in the dialect of Castille : Aqui estd encerrada
el alma del licenciado Pedro Garcias. " Here lies
interred the soul of the licentiate Peter Garcias."

Hey-day ! roars out the younger, a lively, heed-
less fellow, who could not get on with his decipher-
ing for laughter : This is a good joke indeed : "Here
lies interred the soul." ... A soul interred ! . . .
I should like to know the whimsical author of this
ludicrous epitaph. With this sneer he got up to go

viii GIL BLAS TO THE READER.

away. His companion, who had more sense, said
within himself: Underneath this stone lies some
mystery ; I will stay, and see the end of it. Ac-
cordingly, he let his comrade depart, and without
loss of time began digging round about the stone
with his knife till he got it up. Under it he found
a purse of leather, containing a hundred ducats,
with a card on which was written these words in
Latin : " Wlioever thou art who hast wit enough to
discover the meaning of the inscription, I appoint
thee my heir, in the hope thou wilt make a better
use of my fortune than I have done ! " The student,
out of his wits at the discovery, replaced the stone
in its former position, and set out again on the Sala-
manca road with the soul of the licentiate in his
pocket.

Now, my good friend and reader, no matter who
you are, you must be like one or the other of these
two students. If you cast your eye over my adven-
tures without fixing it on the moral concealed under
them, you will derive very little benefit from the
perusal : but if you read with attention you will find
that mixture of the useful with the agreeable, sq
sucpessMly pre^orib^ b^ Horace.

CONTENTS OF VOL. I.

PAOR
BlOORiPHICA-I. AND CsiTtCAL NoTtCB Ot Lb SAOB, BT GeOBSB

Saintsbubt ....... xiii

BOOK THE FIKST.

CHAPTER I.

The Birth and Education of Gil Bias ... .18

CHAPTER II.

Gil Bias's Alarm on his Road to Pegnaflor; his Adventures on
his Arrival in that Town ; and the Character of the Men with
whom he Supped . . . . . . .10'

CHAPTER III.

The Muleteer's Temptation on the Eoad; its Consequences, and

the Situation of Gil Bias between Scjlla and Charybdis . . 27

CHAPTER IV.
Description of the Subterranean Swelling and its Contents . . 32

CHAPTER V.

The Arrival of the Banditti in the Subterraneous Retreat, with

an Account of their Pleasant Conversation . . .36

CHAPTER VI.
The Attempt of Gil Bias to Escape, and its Success . . .46

CHAPTER VII.

Gil Bias, not being able to do what he likes, does what he can . 61

CHAPTER VIII.

Gil Bias ^oes out with the Gang, and Performs an Exploit on

the Highway . . . . . . .64

CHAPTER IX.
A more Serious Incident . , . , , , ,68

CHAPTE« X.

The Lady'i Treatment from the Kobbera. Th^ liveot of the
' Qreftt PtsigQ 90DceiTed by QU filM , ^ ' ; t 01

X coyTEyrs of vol. i.

CHAPTER XI. PAGB

The History of Donna Mencia de Mosquera. . . .68

CHAPTER XII.

A disagreeable Interruption. , - , . .78

CHAPTER XIII.

The lucky Means by which Gil Bias escaped from Prison, and his
Travels afterwards. . . . . , .83

CHAPTER XIV.
Donna Mencia's Reception of him at Burgos. . . .88

CHAPTER XV.

Gil Bias dresses himself to more Advantage, and receives a sec-
ond Present from the Lady. His Equipage on setting out
from Burgos. . . . . . . .93

CHAPTER XVI.

Showing that Prosperity will slip through a Man's Fingers, . 99

CHAPTER XVII.

The Measures Gil Bias took after the Adventure of the ready-
fumished Lodging. ...... 108

BOOK THE SECOND.

CHAPTER T.

Fabricio introduces Gil Bias to the Licentiate Sedillo, and pro-
cures him a Reception. The Domestic Economy of that
Clergyman. Picture of his Housekeeper. . . . 119

CHAPTER II.

The Canon's Illness ; his Treatment ; the Consequence ; the
Legacy to Gil Bias. . . . . . .127

CHAPTER III.
Gil Bias entei's into Doctor Sangrado's Service, and becomes a
famous Practitioner. . . . . . . 134

CHAPTER IV, v_^

Gil Bias goes on practising Physic with eciual Success and Abil-
ity. Adventure of the recoyere(^ I^ing. . ; .142

CONTENTS OF VOL. I. XI

CHAPTER V. PAo«

Sequel of the foregoing Adventure. Gil Blag retires from Prac-
tice, and from the Neighborhood of Valladolid. . . 155

CHAPTER VI.
His Route from Valladolid, with a Description of his Fellow-
traveller. . . . . . . . .164

CHAPTER VI r.
The Journeyman Barber's Story. ..... 167

CHAPTER VIII.

The Meeting of Gil Bias and his Companion with a Man soaking
Crusts of Bread at a Spring, and the Particulars of their
Conversation. ....... 199

CHAPTER IX.

The Meeting of Diego with his Family ; their Circumstances in
Life ; great Rejoicing on the Occasion ; the parting Scene
between him and Gil Bias. ... . 205

BOOK THE THIRD.

CHAPTER I.
The Arrival of Gil Bias at Madrid. His first Place there. . 213

CHAPTER II.

The Astonishment of Gil Bias at meeting Captain Rolando in

Madrid, and that Robber's curious Narrative. . . 222

CHAPTER III.

Gil Bias is dismissed by Don Bernard de Castil Blazo, and enters
into the Service of a Beau. ..... 230

CHAPTER IV.

Gil Bias gets into Company with his Fellows ; they show him a
ready Road to the Reputation of Wit, and impose on him a
singular Oath. ....... 243

CHAPTER V.

Gil Bias becomes the Darling of the Fair Sex, and makes an in-
(er^^ting Acquaintance. . . . • i 251

xii CONTENTS OF VOL. I.

CHAPTER VI. PAOC

The Prince's Company of Comedians. .... 262

CHAPTER VII.
History of Don Pompeyo de Castro. .... 268

CHAPTER VIII.

An Accident, in Consequence of wliich Gil Bias was obliged to
look out for another Place. ..... 278

CHAPTER IX.
A new Service after the Death of Don Matthias de Silva. . 285

CHAPTER X.
Much such another as the Foregoing. .... 290

CHAPTER XI.
A theatrical Life, and an Author's Life. .... 296

CHAPTER XII.

Gil Bias acquires a Relish for the Theatre, and takes a full Swing
of its Pleasures, but soon becomes disgusted. . , 302

BOOK THE FOURTH.

CHAPTER I.

Gil Bias, not being able to reconcile himself to the Morals of the
Actresses, quits Arsenia, and gets into a more reputable Ser-
vice. . . . . . . . .308

CHAPTER II.
Aurora's Reception of Gil Bias. Their Conversation. . . 316

CHAPTER III.
A great Ohaqge at Don Vincent's, Aurora's strange Resolution. 321

CHAPTER IV.
"The Fatal Marriage "»-. a Novel 329

CHAPTER V.

The Behavior pf Aurora cle Guxman on her Arnvs^l ftt Salamanca. 371

CHAPTER VI.
I^Viror^'R |)eYlo(ii ^ leoore Don Ltwli ?^oh«Qo'a Affections, , 38Q

ALAIN RENE LESAGE.

A CRITIC of whom I desire to speak with all respect
— the Rector of Lincoln — has said that " mere
style cannot confer immortality upon any book
apart from its contents." The context from which
this remark is taken deals with the Provinciales and
Fens&s of Pascal, concerning which Mr. Pattison
thinks that the former are but an ephemeral pam-
phlet, the latter are for all time. So startling a
judgment makes the reader a little inclined to dog-
matize hyperbolically in his turn, and to say that
there is nothing perennial but style. This, indeed,
would be merely running from one extreme to
another ; nevertheless, there is more truth in it
than in the other exaggeration, for the attitude of
men's minds changes singularly, from one time to
another, with regard to any " contents ;" it changes
very little with regard to the expression of those
contents. This is, perhaps, nowhere seen more
clearly than in the case of very voluminous authors
whose works are preserved in unequal remembrance.

tif AlAIif tlENE LBS AGS.

When STicli cases are examined, it will generally be
found that the reason for the preference which pos-
terity has expressed has been almost entirely due
to literary merit. Between the merit of the con-
tents of Defoe's different novels there is not very
much to choose ; yet no one who speaks with com-
petence will question that the literary art of
Bohinson Crusoe is, on the whole, far superior to
that of Moll Flanders and Colonel Jack. So, in the
not wholly dissimilar case of our present author, the
contents of Estevanille Gonzales and The Bachelor of
Salamanca are not much less interesting, if they are
less interesting at all, than those of Le JDiable
Boitevx and Gil Bias, while Guzman d'Alfarache
has perhaps a positive advantage over much of the
latter. But Lesage was never so well inspired from
the literary point of view as in the two works
which have been justly deemed his masterpieces,
and in this lies the justice of the selection.

Tlie reasons of the inequality of Lesage's work
are to be sought in the same cause which, in all
probability, accounts for such inequality in all cases.
Where men never write below themselves, it will
almost invariably be found that their work has
either been thrown off in the heyday of youth, or,
if spread over a long course of years, has been
written for pleasure merely ; at any rate, without
any immediate pressure of want. Pegasus, as one

jLAIfr RENi LESAGE. tV

of the greatest of English writers in our time has put
it, must, in the unhappier cases, be too frequently
spurred, and will not always answer to the spur.
Now the long life of the author of Gil Bias was
anything but one of ease. He had few patrons,
and was not of a temper to have many. Literature,
unfortunately, was stick, crutch and all to him, and
he was unlucky in his law affairs, a fact which
probably accounts for the continual satire he pours
on law and lawyers. Yet, by birth, at any rate, he
belonged to the profession. His father, Claude
Lesage, was at once Advocate, Notary and Greffier
(Eegistrar) of the Royal Court of the small district
of Ehuys, the out-of-the-way peninsula which
bounds the Morbihan on its eastern side. Alain Ren^.
was born on the 8th of May, 1668 (his mother
being by name Jeanne Brenugat), at Sarzeau, the
chief town of the district, which, it may be well to
remind readers, was also the locality of the Abbey
of St. Gildas de Rhuys, the very uneasy refuge of
Abelard after his calamities. It is not a little charac-
teristic of the peculiar bent of Lesage's genius, that
it shows hardly any local colour, though Brittany
has, of all French provinces, left most mark on her
children as a rule, and though Lesage's birthplace
lay in perhaps the most striking part of the DucViy.
But Lesage left his native province young ; he
never, so far as I know, returned to it, and he very

XVI JLAIN RENE LESAGM.

probably had unpleasant associations connected
therewith. The father's triple office was profitable
enough, but he died when his son was young, and
the property he left him was dissipated or embezzled
by a dishonest guardian, a personage of frequent
occurrence in those days, and one whom Lesage
smites again and again in his novels. That the boy
was at school at Vannes, the neighbouring episcopal
city, until 1686, is known; but this is almost all
that is known about his youth, and then he disap-
pears for some eight years. It has been supposed
that he may have held some small post in the
financial department of the province, or that he may
have continued his studies at Paris, the latter being
by far the more probable hypothesis. Anyhow,
in 1692 he was admitted as an advocate at the Bar
of Paris. But he apparently got no clients, and when
he was six-and-twenty he took to himself a wife,
Marie Elisabeth Huyard. She is said to have been
remarkably beautiful, and they lived for many years
together, it would seem, happily enough ; but slie
had no fortune, she was only a tradesman's daughter,
and his marriage can hardly have added to tlie
young lawyer's resources. Falling in with an old
schoolfellow, Danchet, who had already made some
mark in literature, he was recommended by him to
seek the same refuge for the destitute. His coup
d'essai, a translation of the letters of Aristienetus,

AtAl^ liEXk LESAGE. Xvii

■Vvhich appeared in 1695 (he had heen married in
August or September, 1694), has made his bio-
graphers and critics rather merry. He certainly
might have done better, but it is doubtful whether
tlie oddity of the choice — comparatively worthless
as the book is — struck that age as it strikes ours.
The indiscriminate reign of the classics, early and
late, good and bad, genuine and spurious, was not
yet over, and many a young man of letters had
made his debut with work not intrinsically better.
Lesage, however, had no luck — he had not much
at any period during his life — and the book fell
flat. A more useful adviser in every sense, how-
ever, fell to his lot in the person of the Abb^ de
Lyonne. Lyonne not merely gave him, or procured
him, a pension or annuity of six hundred livres — no
despicable assistance to modest housekeeping at
that time, when living at Paris was extraordinarily
cheap — but recommended him to study Spanish
literature,, of which he himself was a great lover.
Three-quarters of a century before, this literature
had been greatly admired and largely borrowed from
in France, but the age of the great writers of
Louis the Thirteenth's time and his son's had put it
out of fashion. Lesage began by simple translation
or adaptation, and, as in the case of Aristoenetus, ho
was not too fortunate in his models. In drama,, at
least, he did not go far wrong, choosing Eojas, Lopo

vol.. 1. b

Xviii ALAIN RENE LESAG&

de Vega and Calderon for his originals, and produc-
ing plays which were sometimes acted. But a
version of the worthless JVew Don Quixote of Avel-
laneda was sorry work for the future author of GU
Mas. The play which he conveyed from Calderon
■ — Don Cesar Ursin — had some merit ; and in 1707,
heing then hard upon his fortieth year, he scored
two great successes. His little piece of Crispin Rival
de son Maitre appeared, and was loudly and deser-
vedly applauded, while the Diabh Boiteiix obtained
still greater favour. It ran through several editions
in the year, and many legends of the usual character
are told about its success. The most characteristic,
and probably the truest, is that Boileau found his
footboy with a copy, and declared that if such a
book stayed a night in his house the boy should
not stay another. Lesage was already hailed as a
Moliere Eedivivus, and this of itself was sufficient
to irritate Boileau in his sour old age. But it would
probably have been sufficient for that vigorous but
narrow critic that the book was not in any style
which he had himself recommended, or which he
could understand ; for Boiteau was the incarnation
of the merely French spirit of literature in its most
contracted form ; Lesage, as we shall see, was not
specially or primarily French at all except in his
wit, the very quality which the author of the
Namur Ode was least qualified to appreciate.

AtAIlf RENE* LESAGIS. 3tlx

Lesage, however, had not yet arrived at his apogee.
Despite his theatrical successes he was never on
very good terms with the players of the regular
theatre, and a small piece — Les Mrennes — was
refused by them at the beginning of 1708. The
author took it back, set to work on it, and
refashioned it into Turcaret, the best French comedy,
beyond all doubt, of the eighteenth century, and
probably the best of its kind to be found outside
the covers of Moliere's works. It is in connection
with Turcaret, the success of which was very great,
though the powerful class offended by it did not
conceal their displeasure, that one of the few per-
sonal and characteristic anecdotes we possess of
Lesage is told. He had been asked to read his play
to a fashionable company at the Duchess of
Bouillon's, and, being delayed by law business, was
late. The Duchess — let it be remembered that it
was some half-century before all Paris interested
itself in the quan-el of two "miserable scribblers
who live in garrets " — ^rebuked him with some
asperity for keeping her an hour waiting. " Eh
bien, Madame," replied the poet ; " je vous ai fait
perdre une heure, je vais vous en faire gagner deux ;"
and he put his manuscript in his pocket, and, resist-
ing all entreaties, went away. The anecdote rests
on the authority of CoUe, who, in such a case, is
fairly trustworthy, and it probably explaias why

it ALAIN BENE LESAOE.

Lesage's life was one of struggle. Though his inde*
pendence was, most likely, natural and usual, it is
said to have been made more touchy on this parti-
cular occasion by the fact that he had lost the case
which had detained him. However this may be,
his dissatisfaction with the Maison de Molidre soon
assumed a still more active form, and for five-and-
twenty years the best living comic dramatist of
France gained his bread chiefly by writing for the
stage of the Foire, the irregular but licensed booths
set up during fair time. Lesage is said to have
written no less than twenty-four farce-operettas,
as they may perhaps best be termed, for these
boards, and the number of his works for them
alone, or in collaboration, is sometimes put at
sixty-four and sometimes at a hundred and one.
It was about the time that he took to this occupa-
tion, in which he was kept in company by not a
few writers of talent, if not of genius, notably by
Piron, that Gil Bias appeared in 171 5. This, his
gi'eatest work, was scarcely so popular as Ze Diable
Boiteux, and it was long before it was finished,
while the number of editions during the thirty
years of the author's life was by comparison sur-
prisingly small. Among the few positive state-
ments that we have about Lesage's literary gains ia
one to the effect that a hundred pistoles had been
advanced to him as prepayment for the last volume

ALAIN RENE LESAGR XX\

several years before it was completed. It does not
of course follow that this was the whole price. The
two first parts, as has been said, appeared in 1715,
the third in 1724, the fourth in 1735. Thus Lesage
evidently took time about his greatest work, though
he was compelled to do much else in a hurry. His
productions were sufificieutly miscellaneous, though
most of them had to do with the vein of literary
ore which had been so fortunately indicated to
him. A version of Guzman d' Alfarache, much
altered and improved ; I'Histoire d' Ustevanilh
Gonzales and Le Bachdier de Salamanque, were the
chief of these, while he also translated the Orlando
Inamorato. A curious collection of imaginary
letters, called the Valise Troitvee, and some minor
works, came from his pen ; besides which he was at
the close of his life occupied on a collection of
anecdotes which appeared after his death. He also
superintended a collection of liis Theatre de la Foire,
as he had previously one of his regular pieces. One
work not yet mentioned, the " Life and Adventures
of M. de Beauchene, Captain of Flibustiers," brings
him curiously near to Defoe, especially as in this,
not less than in the English cases, a groundwork of
actual memoirs is said or supposed to have existed.
From his children Lesage had both trouble and
profit. The eldest was bred a lawyer, but became
an actor and was disowned by his father. The

XXU ALAIN RENE LESAGE.

second took orders, obtained a canonry at Boulogne,
and became the mainstay of the family. Worn out
by seventy years of life and thirty or forty of lite-
rary work, Lesage about 1740 retired with his wife
and daughter to the city where his son lived, and
spent there his remaining years, dying on the 17th
of Kovember, 1747. A very curious and interest-
ing letter from the Count de Tressan is in existence,
giving an account of him in his very last days.
Tressan is known to all students of French litera-
ture as having laboriously dressed the stories of the
Chansons de Gestes in eighteenth-century garments
for the readers of the BiUotheque des Romans — to
wliich act we owe Wieland's Oheron — and as having,
in ignorance of the existence of the original, bravely
extemporized a Chanson de Roland, which stands,
perhaps, in more absurd contrast to the true
Chanson than any other conjectural restoration does
to any other original. But he had a real interest in
literature, and seems to have been amiable enough
at this time. He was a military officer of high
standing in the days of Fontenoy, and after that
battle was for some time at Boulogne, where he used
to visit Lesage. " The old man (he was then about
seventy-seven) was," says Tressan, " in a state of half
torpor till midday, but he then revived, and was
fairly in possession of his faculties till sundown " — ■
a fact from which the philosophic Count makes some

ALAIN RENE LESAGE. XXI 11

large inferences in proper eighteenth-century style.
But, even when most wide awake, Lesage was very
deaf, and nothing would induce him to put his
trumpet to his ear when persons he disliked were
his interlocutors, though it went up readily enough
when any one he liked approached. This is the
last and one of the very few personal pieces of
gossip we have about him, and it proves satisfac-
torily that a hard worker and a great benefactor of
his species, who had not in his time enjoyed too many
of the gifts of fortune, at any rate passed his last
years in peace and in such comfort as might be.
His wife outlived him but a very short time and
died at the age of eighty.

If an author is to be judged only by those works
whose popularity has stood the test of time, Lesage
need only be considered as the author of Crispin
Rival de son Maitre, of Turcaret, of Le Diable Boiteux,
and of Gil Bias de Santillane. His other prose
works are, indeed, of considerable bulk, but they are
for the most part distinguished by the merits of the
more celebrated pieces in a less prominent, and by
the faults in a more prominent, degree. His
Ghiaman d'Alfarache is chiefly interesting as a
specimen of extremely skilful remaniement, a pro-
cess more often applied in modern times to dramatic
work than to prose fiction, and which, perhaps, in
tjxe case of prose fiction, has pevey been so weU

XXI V ALAIN RENE LESAGE.

managed as here. M. de Beauchene has, as has been
already mentioned, some interesting points of re-
semblance to the methods of Defoe. Le Bachelier
de Salamanque has a certain interest, because of its
connection with the theory or hypothesis of a lost
Spanish original of Gil Bias. If Lesage himself
may be trusted, there was certainly such an original
in the case of the Bachelor, and one of the many
suppositions tending to deprive him of the credit of
his greatest work suj poses that both were extracted
or rehandled from the same work. Estevanille
Gonzales is, perhaps, the least attractive of all,
while it is also one of the least original, and the
translations from the Italian, &c., need not delay
us. Among the minor works the chief are ; — first, a
lively and weU-written little dialogue, called Une
Joumie des Farqiies, which has had the luck to be
oftener reprinted than most of Lesage's ojpuscula ;
secondly, the already-mentioned collection of imagi-
nary letters called La Valise Trouvee ; and, lastly, the
collection of anecdotes which was the author's last
work and which was not published until after his
death. Of Lesage, however, it is truer than of most
writers, that he is best seen in his best work. His
pot-boilers usually have something of his easy style
and much of his pleasant subacid wit, but they fail,
as a rule, to show the power of truthful character-
drawing which W9S his greatest merit, and their wit

ALAIK BENE LESAGE. MV

itself degenerates into mere smartness more fre-
quently than could be wished.

Somewhat more notice must be given to his work
for the Thedtre de la Foire, not merely because it
has considerable intrinsic merit, but because of its
volume, of the constant labour spent on it for full
a quarter of a century by the author, and last, but
not least, because of its curious form. The pieces
which were played at the fairs of Paris were very
popular, and their popularity was the subject of
constant jealousy on the part of the regular actors
of the TJiedtre Frangais, though the other two
branches of the legitimate drama, the opera and tlie
Comedie Italienne, were sometimes more or less in
alliance with their little sister. Not a few of
Lesage's pieces deal directly with the vicissitudes of
la Foire. The plays represented on these boards
were a curious mixture of the commedia dell' arte
and the old French farce. Harlequin in particular
is an almost invariable character, though the full
complement of Pierrot, Scaramouche, Colombine,
&c., only occasionally appears. The plays were of
three kinds. One of these was drama reduced to
nearly its simplest terms. There was no speaking
on the stage and the actors confined themselves to
pantomime in dumbshow, while two little cherubs
sat up aloft with a long roller of wood, from which,
from time to time, they unrolled placards Oil which

XXVi ALAIN RENE LESAGB.

short songs, set to popular airs, were inscri"bed.
These songs were sung by the audience, assisted by
the actors and orchestra. Here, of course, the
author's work -was limited to the conception of the
action, the expression of it by stage directions to the
actors, and the composition of the songs. A second
kind of piece was the Vaudeville proper, in which
the whole, play is written in lyrical couplets. In
the third and most elaborate, ordinary prose dialogue
is mixed up with songs. This last sometimes
attained considerable dimensions and was divided
into acts. These popular pieces were, throughout
the eighteenth century, composed by authors whose
literary standing was by no means low — such as
Lesage, Piron, Coll^, and many others — and when a
piece had a particular vogue it was not unfrequently
transferred, at the command of some great person-
age, to the boards of the opera. Our author, as
has been said, wrote a very large number of these
curious compositions in all the three styles just
described. Their literary value is, of course, far
from great, but they display a good deal of inven-
tion, a command of easy verse, and much less
indulgence in the besetting sin of the fair theatre,
license of language, tlian most of their fellows.
Za Princesse de Carizme, one of the lonsrest, and
possessing something like a plot, is also one of the
l?est, It twos OH the well-known ^tory of 9,

ALAIN RENE LESAGE. XX VU

princess whose beauty turns all who hehold her
mad. But, on the whole, the pieces which deal
with the rivalry of the Foire and the graver
dramatic institutions are, perhaps, the most amusing.
The contrasted display of the Comedie Frangaise,
her solemn tragic airs and the mannerisms of her
lighter mood, with the impudent coq[uettishness of
the personified Foire, gave Lesage a good oppor-
tunity, of which he did not scruple to avail himself.
The contrast, of course, is an old one, and something
like it had been frequently brought with success on
the popular stage, even in early times. La Querelh
des TMdtres has something in it which reminds the
reader of the old morality of Science et Anerye.
The music of the pieces, too, has its interest, because
it shows the remarkable conservatism of the French
populace in these matters. Now-a-days new airs are
a sine qud non for a comic opera that is to be suc-
cessful. Lesage's pieces are all written to a few
score tunes, which remained on duty during the
whole eighteenth century, and may be still seen at
the head of Beranger's songs a hundred years and
more afterwards. But it must, of course, be under-
stood that only regular students of literature can be
recommended to attack Lesage's Theatre de la
Foire. It has received some mention here chiefly
because most of his critics have been content to
give eecond-hand judgments of it, and a second^

XX Vm ALAIN RENE LESAGE.

hand judgment in matters literary has a habit of
going farther and farther from the truth as it
passes from pen to pen.

The two pieces of Lesage which, if they have not
actually kept the stage, have at least secured their
place in collections of the French drama, demand a
longer mention. I say if they have not kept the
stage, for I have no positive knowledge as to the
question whether Crispin and Turcaret have of late
years been represented. They are certainly amusing
enough to read, and Turcaret is something more
than amusing. Crispin Rival de son Maitre is a
much less ambitious piece than Turcaret. It is, in
fact, only a longish farce in one act, but in a gi'eat
number of scenes. Something of what an English
critic once very unjustly called the " exaggerated
manner of Moli^re " may be observed in it.
Indeed, this phrase of Hazlitt has a good deal of
truth when applied to this little piece ; it is Moliere's
manner exaggerated by recourse to the Spanish style
of comedy, from which the great playwright had
refined and purified his own. There is the usual
impecunious and unlucky lover, but the usual valet,
instead of backing his master, enters with another
valet into a wild plan for marrying the heroine
himself. By playing into each other's hands the
two rascals succeed for a time in hoodwinking the
father, and, b^ grosg flattery, in winning eye? th^

At AW RENE LESAGE. XXIX

mother to their side. The scheme is upset by the
simple fact that the father of the suitor whom Crispin
personates soon appears, and by the still simpler
one that the master, of course, recognizes and identi-
fies his servant. But the intrigue, impossible as it
is, is very briskly kept up, and the short bustling
scenes hardly allow the audience to reflect on the
improbability of the thing. The dialogue is full of
brilliancy, rather resembling Congreve than Moli^re,
and this, being unquestionably the best of its kind
that a Parisian audience had heard for a generation,
probably secured the popularity of the piece. Tur-
caret is a much more important production. It has
the full five acts of a regular comedy, and, though its
plot is rather loose, the ruin and discomfiture of the
financier Turcaret give a sufficient unity to it. The
action, too, is well sustained, but the merit of the
piece — a merit for which it stands almost alone in
the French comedy of the eighteenth century — lies
in the striking projection of the characters and the
lively natural traits with which they are drawn.
The objection which has been made to these cha-
racters— that they are rather partial than complete
sketches of human nature — applies to all French
drama and to almost all artificial comedy, whether
French or English. It would not be easy to find a
French drama, out of Moli^re, in which so many
figures stand out so strikingly from the canvass, as is

xtx At AW heM lesagz

tlie ca^e in Turcaret. The financier, ashamed of the
lowness of his origin, ruthless to his debtors, and a
swindler in his dealings with his associates, hut
capable of being bubbled of his money in the most
open fashion by a great lady who condescends to
permit his addresses ; his wife, an incarnation of
vulgar provincial vice, as desperately jealous of her
husband as she is shamelessly unfaithful to him ;
the chevalier who exploits Turcaret's mistress just as
that mistress exploits Turcaret ; the baroness, not
too scrupulous to plunder her suitor so long as she
believes his addresses to be honourable, but generous
enough and not wholly corrupted; the reckless
marquis, who has at least the advantage over his
friend, the chevalier, that he is not a knave : all these
characters, in themselves mere stock characters of the
oldest date, are made to live and breathe by touches
of Lesage's genius. The most often-quoted scene of
the play, where Madame Turcaret, introduced to the
baroness's salon, gives an account of the diversions of
Valognes, where " on lit tout les ouvrages d'esprit
qu'on fait k Cherbourg, k St. Lo et k Coutances, qui
valent bien les ouvrages de Vire et de Caen " is a
masterpiece of its kind, and not much less can be
said of the adroit servility of the waiting-maid
Lisette. Frontin, her lover, has the defect of all the
valets who descend from the Menandrian comedy —
the defect of exceeding improbability — but he is not

At Am HENJS LESAGJt, tXXl

more improbable than Moliere's Scapins and Gros
Een<5s, and, indeed, not so improbable as some of
them. It is also noticeable that, though the dialogue
of Turcaret is as full of witticisms as any reasoiiable
man can desire, it has not the fault which is fre-
quently noticeable in French manner-comedies
and almost always in English — the fault of letting
mere wit combats occupy the characters to the detri-
ment of the dramatic interest of the play. Every-
thing in Turcaret tends duly to its end. There are
few things more surprising, and perhaps it may be
added, less satisfactory, in connection with the theory
that a subsidized and established theatre tends to
encourage the production of works of genius, than
the fact of the subsequent disagreement of the
players with Lesage. It is almost inconceivable
that the man who wrote such a play should not
have had it in him to write others of equal, if not
greater, goodness. But, as we have seen, Lesage had
no opportunity of improving upon Turcaret oi
repeating his success, being almost immediately
diverted from the regular theatre to the Foire, where,
whatever he may have done, he certainly did not
work for posterity. His dramatic career, indeed, was
that of Moliere reversed. The earlier writer began
with a long apprenticeship to farce-wiiting and then
turned his attention to regular comedy, the other began
with regular comedy and was afterwards driven to

Xxxil AtAlk RENE LESAGM.

farce. When one considers the special opening which
drama presents to a man who, like Lesage, prefers to
work on the inventions of others rather than to spin
everything out of his own brains, his abandonment
of it seems much to be regretted. Perhaps, however,
on the whole the world has not lost ; for where a
play gives amusement now and then to hundreds, a
novel gives it constantly to thousands, and it is
extremely improbable that the very best work that
Lesage could ever have produced in the way of
drama would have added to the sum of human
enjoyment as much as Gil Bias has added.

It has already been observed that Lesage's manner
of dealing with his originals when he wrote prose
fiction sometimes resembled the usual manner of dra-
matic authors. If, however, this latter manner resem-
bled the conduct of the author of Le DiaUe Boiteux in
the composition of this work, the charge of plagiarism
which is constantly brought against dramatists could
hardly stand. The DiaUe Boiteux of Lesage and the
Diablo Cojuelo of Luis Yelez de Guevara stand to
each other in a very curious relation. At first the
later work looks almost like a translation of the
earlier ; for two chapters it is a translation and very
little more. But suddenly Lesage seems to liave
felt his own power and strikes off on an entirely
new path. Neither the course of the story, nor the
conclusion, nor even the great majority of the

AtAli^ tiENi LESAGB. XXxill

episodes and detached anecdotes in the JDiable
Boitcux are derived, even by suggestion, from Guevara,
while the simplicity of the French style and the
unbroken stream of lively Tiarquois narration con-
trast as strongly as anything can do with the
euphuism of Guevara and the singular encomiastic
digressions on all sorts of personages which figure
largely in the Diablo Cojuelo. The substance of the
book is made up partly, no doubt, of anecdotes bor-
rowed from divers Spanish sources, partly of more
or less historical gossip about French men and
women of the author's own time — Dufresny the
comic author, Baron the actor, Ninon de L'Encloa
are usually specified as figuring — partly of inven-
tions of Lesage's own. As most people know, or
ought to know, the plot is sufficiently simple. A
young student, for whom an ambush has been laid
by his perfidious mistress, escapes by way of tlie
roof, makes his way into a neighbouring garret, which
happens to be the laboratory of a magician, and is
besought by a voice out of a phial to deliver the
speaker from durance by breaking the bottle. The
request is complied with, and the imprisoned sprite
turns out to be Asmodeus, Demon de la Luxure.
Here almost all borrowing from Guevara ceases. In
the Spanish the new confederates journey to different
parts of Spain, and the incidents of the story are
mainly supplied by the efforts of envious devils to

VOL. I. 0

XXxir ALAiK IiE}fE lesagS.

recapture Asmodeus. In the French the general
plan is based on an exertion of the power of As-
modeus, whereby he unroofs the houses of Madrid
and exhibits the fortunes of the inmates to the
student, Don Cleofas, while an additional human
interest is imparted by a fire, in which the good-
natured and grateful demon rescues a young lady of
high birth in the shape of Cleofas, and thereby
secures for his liberator a prosperous marriage. As
a connected story, the original, despite its digres-
sions and episodes, perhaps has the advantage,
though the ultimate decision on this point must be
left to those who, unlike the present writer, can
speak with equal authority on Spanish and on French
literature. Lesage's pre-eminence must be sought in
the scattered traits of wit and knowledge of human
nature which he sprinkles liberally over his work,
and in the brisk and vigorous style wherein the
book is written. This latter is the real charm of the
DiaUe Boiteux. Lesage took something from La
Rochefoucauld, something and perhaps more from
St. Evremond, and, availing himself of the general
improvement in French prose style which had
resulted from the schoolmastering of the academic
critics, from Balzac to Boileau, produced a mixture
of singular pungency and elegance. Couched as
the whole work is in the form of a lengthy dialogue
between the demon and Don Cleofas, the author has

AtAiif BENi: LESAGS. XiX^

availed himself of the characteristics of his cha-
racters in a sufificiently artful fashion. The petulance
of the student never allows the good demon to
engage uninterrupted in too long a narration, hut
constantly recalls him to this or that interesting
incident, which makes a digression in the midst of
the histories and prevents any feeling of longiieur
from stealing on the reader. Now this is a feeling
which the general plan of the French- Spanish Roman
d'Aventures adopted by Lesage was only too much
calculated to produce. The pedigree of stories of
this kind was a long one. They arose unques-
tionably, on the one hand, from the prose Greek
romances to which the Byzantine period gave rise,
and on the other from the incomparable romances
of chivalry, to use the usual though rather indis-
criminate term of which France must claim the
invention. To do the Chanson de Oeste, the oldest
form of the latter variety, justice, digression was not
among its faults. But from the first the Greek
prose romance seems to have been liable to it, and
from the date of the Bomans d'Aventures, which
express in a way the union of the two, it was a
crying sin of the western romance, whether it was
written in verse or in prose. Everything by degrees
became sacrificed to length, and the easiest way of
attaining length was by indulging in numerous
episodic excursions. Moral disquisitions, personal

iJtXvi ALAIN RENE LESAG&.

panegyrics, sentimental discussions on points of amd*
tory law, which the earlier seventeenth century had
endured, were impossible at the time when Lesage
wrote, and he confined himself solely to the story
within a story which his English followers, Smollett
and Fielding, adopted from him, and which lasted
even to the days of Scott, with the advantage to
literature of producing what is, perhaps, the best
short tale in any language — "Wandering Willie's
legend in Redgauntlet. By that time, however, the
necessity of connecting the digressions definitely and
directly with the general story had forced itself on
the consideration of the romancer. Lesage's age
was less difficult, and his episodes might be cut out
without damaging such central story as he has, but
with a woful consequence to the total interest and
attraction of the book. What saved Le Biabh
Boiteux was, let it be once more repeated, the smart-
ness of the satire, the acuteness of the observation
of life, and the pure fluent style in which the whole
was embodied. The one means which has always
been able to move a French audience or body of
readers has been the untranslatable malice ; and
Lesage possessed the secret of this in an eminent
degree. But he had more than this — he had also
the faculty of informing his malicious side-hits at
human nature, with a certain breadth and truth in
which Voltaire himself fails except when he is at

ALAIN RENE LESAGE. XXXVI]

his very best, and of never goinjx out of his way foi
a gibe, a mistake only too common among French
authors. The fantastic setting ; the absence of any
attempt to get into the pulpit and preach, while a
certain subtle under-flavour of moralizing reconciled
the most moralizing of all centuries ; the urbanity
of the style, and the allusions, artfully scattered here
and there, to personal adventures and personal gossip
were quite sufficient to attract contemporaries. That
the popularity of the DiaUe Boiteux has been more
than ephemeral shows — let us repeat it, for it can-
not be too often repeated — that observation of
Nature, enbalmed with due preparation of art, is
never likely to lose its hold upon men ; if it were,
adieu to literature.

The good qualities of Tiircaret and the Liable
Boiteux appeared in far more striking measure and
co-ordinated far more skilfully in the great work
which these volumes present once more to the
reader in the version of the greatest but one of
Lesage's followers. Of the general merits of Gil
Bias it is necessary to say very little. Nor is it
necessary to add in this particular place anything to
what has been said and will be said of the compa-
ratively half-hearted estimation in which his country-
men have held tlie writer of this masterpiece. In
French histories of literature Lesage holds but a
subordinate place, and he is sometimes treated ^

XXXVIU ALAIN BENE LESAGE.

second in the race to Defoe, though it is hardly
necessary to say that the first and best of the great
Englishman's romances is younger than Gil Bias by
nearly five years. Argument and abstract are
equally superfluous. How Gil Bias left his scarcely-
unwiUing kin, how he learnt by bitter experience
not to trust too much to flatterers, how he fell
among thieves, among the minions of the law,
among actors (on whom Lesage took a terrible ven-
geance in this book for the treatment they had
accorded to him), even those to whom the pleasure —
pace Mr. James Payn — of reading our book is yet
to come, know, in virtue of a thousand quotations and
allusions in every kind of literature. Of the latter
parts of the book, which show in the author some
such an idea as that by which Dickens, either before
or after the fact, excused the transformation of Mr.
Pickwick's character, perhaps less is known by those
who have not actually read it. Only one episode — •
the famous and, indeed, immortal relapse of Gil Bias
into youthfulness in the matter of the Archbishop of
Granada — has passed into general knowledge. I
shall only say that it is perhaps the very happiest
holding up of a mirror to one particular weak place
of human nature that I know. Few people perhaps,
save reviewers, who are in continual receipt of
expostulations from the reviewed, know how eternal
js the verity of the presentment. By some unhappy

ALAIN RENE LESAGE. XXXI X

fortune the particular stanza of the poem, the par-
ticular chapter of the novel, the particular juncture
of the plot, which the critic happens to blame is the
very thing that is best in the book. " On n'a
jamais compost de meilleur hom^lie que celle qui
a le malheur de n'avoir pas notre approbation."
This is only an illustration of the supreme merit of
the book — its absolute truth to Nature. But another
illustration may, perhaps, be pardonably given. It
has been said, or hinted, that in the last two volumes
Gil Bias is a much better as well as a much less
ridiculous personage than he is in the first — this is
especially the case in the last. Prosperity, age, the
absence of temptation, account for this. But Lesage's
anpitying, because absolutely veracious, talent would
not suffer him to turn his intriguing fortune-hunter
into a saint. The ugly episode of the journey to
Toledo, in which the admired minister Olivarez and the
respectable reformed rake Gil Bias play such awk-
ward parts, is an instance of the truth which is put
in the homely phrase Defoe loved — " What is bred
in the hone will not go out of the flesh." Now-a-days,
perhaps, when the naturalist school, in its scorn of
the namby-pamby, rushes into the opposite extreme
and will have nothing but vice and ugliness, such a
book as Gil Bias is infinitely more instructive, as well
as more refreshing to read, than all the rose -pink
pictures pf impossible virtues and all the half- told

Xl ALAIN BENE LESAGE.

tales of life with tlie dark side of it kept out of
sight that literature can muster. It will scarcely be
pretended by any brisk young novelist of the nine-
teenth century that he has more insight than Lesage,
scarcely, either, that Lesage was afraid to say what
occurred to him or that his literary vocabulary and
general equipment were unequal to the task. Yet
here is a book as free from cant or from taint of the
Jierdsie de Venseignement as any one can desire, and
which yet leaves no bad taste in the mouth, meddles
with no abnormal crimes, and suggests as a total
reflexion not merely that all's well that ends well,
but that in most cases with fair luck all does end
fairly well.

The question of the origin, or, if the word be pre-
ferred, of the originality, of Gil Bias may not be of
much intrinsic importance. But its traditional im-
portance in the history of literature is considerable,
aud something, perhaps, must be said about it here.
The assertions of the more or less complete indebted-
ness of the author to a Spanish original may be classed
under three heads. There is, first, the assertion that
GU Bias is taken from the Marcos de Ohregon of Vin-
cent Espinel. This was advanced very shortly after
the appearance of the book, and currency was given
to it by Voltaire, who roundly repeated it, in conse-
quence, beyond all doubt, of the galling attacks
which Lesage had made upon his early dramatic and

ALAIN RENE LESAGE. xli

epic efforts, Dot merely in his farces but in Gil Bias
itself, where the author of Zaire figures as Don
Gabriel Triaquero. The second is due to a Spanish
Jesuit author, who, avowedly setting before him
the object of claiming Gil Mas for his own country,
endeavours to make out that it is simply a transla-
tion of a Spanish original. The third is a more
elaborate hypothesis and more difl&cult of disproof —
its foundation, such as it is, has been already alluded
to. It is supposed that Lesage extracted the matter,
at least, of Gil Bios, as well as that of the Baclielier de
Salamanque, from a manuscript Spanish original
which has since disappeared. As to the first charge,
it is one of those curiously hazardous ones, the
making of which can only be accounted for on the
general principle that some of most handfuls of mud
which are thrown is likely to stick, for Espinel's
work is unanimously confessed by competent
examiners to be not in the least like Gil Bias on
the whole, though a very few detached traits may
have been taken by Lesage from it, as they almost
certainly were for others of his prose fictions. The
patriotic hypothesis of Father Isla suffers only
from the fact that there is not the faintest trace of
a Spanish Gil Bias or of any allusion to such a work.
As for the third, it is obviously, and on the face of
it, as impossible to disprove as to prove. There may
have been French Machtlis and Bears from which

xlii ALAIN RENE LESAGE.

Shakspeare adapted the existing pieces, for aught
we know. But, when we dismiss merely hypothetical
argument and examine the matter coolly, we find,
first, that there is absolutely no external evidence
that Lesage did in any way plagiarize Gil Bias ;
secondly, that there is overwhelming internal evidence
that, while he made free use of his Spanish predeces-
sors for details, for local colour and so forth the essen-
tial part of the book is fairly his own. The " picaroon"
romance, as it is called, was a specially Spanish
variety of Roman c?'>4'?;ew^wres which, abandoning giants
and enchanters on the one hand and the long-winded
sentimentalities of theAmadis and the Scud^ry roman-
ces on the other, confined itself to the actual life of
the still but half-civilized dominions of the King of
Spain and to the most exciting incidents of that
life. Immense numbers of these books were written
by Spaniards during the seventeenth century; and
with many, if not the majority, of these Lesage was,
we know, familiar. Many of the separate incidents
of Gil Bias have been traced to this literature, and,
perhaps, more might be so. But there is no reason
to believe that the general cad7-e into which Lesage
fitted these is not his own, and there is every reason
to believe that the peculiar spirit with which he
informs the whole and which gives it its peculiar
value is absolutely his. The shiewd wit, neither
gente^tious uov solemn, of his isolated sayings

ALAIN RENE LESAGE. xliil

is assuredly not Spanish ; the peculiar univer-
sality of his indications of the weaknesses of
human nature is still less so. There is little
of the kind, I may venture to say, in the greatest
of Spanish writers, in Cervantes himself ; there is
nothing of the kind — competent authorities vouch
for it — in any lesser Spanish writer. To the higher
side of Spanish imagination, its poetry, its magnifi-
cence, its forgetfulness of the baser sides of life,
Lesage has no claim to approach. But in regard to
a sort of prosaic infallibility and universality which
he has he may as fairly pretend that the Spaniards
have nothing of his. If there is little of Don
Quixote there is, perhaps, something of Sancho in
some of his characters ; but it is only such an agree-
ment as writers starting from the most diverse points
might attain.

To one charge which has been brought against
GU Bias, that of undue length, it is difficult to offer
a very valid defence. That this length conduced to
the anachronisms which the author admits in a
characteristic and sarcastic avertissement is very pro-
bable, but these are matters of very little consequence
and may be ranked with the sea-coast of Bohemia
and Hector's reference to Aristotle. It is of more im-
portance that the extreme prolongation of the book
has made it — it may freely be admitted — to a cer-
tain extent tedious. Nor does it seem reasonable to

xliv ALAIN RENE LESAGE.

doubt that this prolongation was, in some degree,
artificial — that is to say, that the favour with M^hich
the book was received and the offers of the pub-
lishers very likely induced the author to extend it a
good deal more than he had at first designed. Per
contra it can only be alleged that, in the peculiar
style of which GHl Bias is an example, there is no
natural limit to the exposition. The book having
no defined plot, but being a picture of quotquot agunt
homines in so far as the life of a particular person
touches that action, nothing but the death of the hero
can be said to bring it to a close. This, indeed, is of
the essence of the romance as opposed to the epic,
and, in its so-called regular or non-Shakspearean
form, the drama. These two latter presuppose a
definite and limited plot. The romance does not,
and it admits not only an indefinite extension in a
straight line, but also digressions and episodes ad
infinitum. That this is rather a weakness than a
strength of the style may certainly be admitted, and
the fact had been sufficiently exemplified, not merely
in the mediaeval poem and prose romances but in
the Amadis cycle, where the reader is conducted from
generation to generation in a manner sufficient to
weary the patience of the most robust. But it was
characteristic of Lesage that he was an innovator
rather in detail than in the general. He did not
produce the modem novel — that was reserved for his

AtAT^ ttENE LESAGB. xlv

foimger contemporary Provost, He only took an
existing genre, made many small improvements in it,
and produced a masterpiece therein. Perhaps it
would be ungrateful to complain when he did so
much that he did no more.

In the controversies which have arisen about
Lesage's greatest work it is not very difficult to
find a satisfactory explanation of his great and
peculiar value. For the Spanish claim — absolutely
unsupported as it is by one tittle of external evi-
dence, and, indeed, as we may almost say, completely
as it is rebutted by all such evidence — rests in
reality on an expressed or understood idea that no
one but a native writer could have so dealt with
Spain and Spaniards. The retort to the charge is
as instructive as the charge itself. Frenchmen
appeal to Germans, Englishmen, and other foreigners
to decide the cause, and the referees give their
decision in a manner which is decisive. Gil Bias,
they say, is not specially a Spaniard, though the art
of his creator has dressed him up marvellously in
the habits, garments and speech of Spain. He is
simply a man, and the accuracy with which the
author has hit the universal beneath the particular
would have equally enabled him, had he chosen, to
draw an Englishman or a German, and would have
entitled Englishmen or Germans, had they been
sufficiently shortsighted, to claim his work as

ilvi AtAlN ntNE lesag£.

"borrowed or stolen from an English or Germaii
original. The reply is unanswerable, and the more
one reads Lesage the more convinced one is of the
sufficiency of it and the more proof one finds of its
truth. It is in this quality of universality, of striking
at the essential humanity of men and dealing with
their accidental nationality only in such manner as
might suit his purpose that Lesage's great genius
consists, and in this quality he is, as it seems to me,
at the head of all French writers, and only second
to Shakspeare. Of course the range of the two is very
different, it is even hardly commensurable. Le-
sage had his faculty at complete command within
certain very restricted limits, but beyond those
limits he was not in the least master of it, indeed it
can hardly be said that he endeavoured to show it at
all. Whether his thorough and comparatively early
steeping in one peculiar and extremely artificial
kind of literature — the picaroon romances and
intrigue-dramas of Spain — narrowed his mind at the
same time that it sharpened it is a question rather
of psychology than of literature ; but it is certain that
he shows very little tendency to wanderoutof his own
narrow circle, and that when he does so he becomes
merely an ordinary man of letters, possessed of a
pleasant wit and of a ready and skilful pen. But
within his circle he hardly yields to the master him-
self. Indeed, Gil Bias may hold up his head in

AtAltT ttEKE LMsAgE. xlvii

any company, even in the company of Shakspeare's
children. There is the same invariable consistency,
the same total absence of false notes, the same com-
pleteness of presentation. It was in this latter that
Lesage differed most from his countrymen. The fatal
doctrine of the ruling passion had made but little
impression upon him. In drawing Gil Bias he has
not an abstraction of intrigue and courtiership of
the lower class before him as a model, he has a man
who, for a long time, is given up partly by the un-
Idndness of fortune, partly by natural bent, to
intrigue and courtiership. To the last, touches of
Nature, though they naturally grow fewer and fewer,
chequer and diversify the presentment. Now this
was what the French, since they had given them-
selves lip to swallow the doctrines and do the
bidding of Horace, as represented or misrepresented
by the native critics of the Malherbe-Boileau school,
could not attain to, and could hardly even under-
stand. Had Boileau lived a little longer it may be
shrewdly suspected that he would have regarded Gil
Bias with much more indignation than that with
which he regarded Le Didble Boiteux, and it is note-
worthy that the greater work was far less popular
with its author's countrymen than the lesser. They
would, doubtless, have Hked Achilles to be always
iracundus ineocorahilis acer, and would have preferred
that Gil Bias should have outwitted the parasite in

xlvili AtAW RENE LESAG&,

the matter of tlie trout and kept the favour of the
Archbishop of Granada. Gil Bias, too, is far less
full than Le Diabh Boiteux of the epigrammatic
pointes which have never ceased to delight the true
Frenchman — and, indeed, they are delightful enough
— and which reach their climax in the writings of
Voltaire. Such sayings as : " Vous n'avez pas des id^es
justes de notre enfer" — " On nous reconcilia, nous
nous embrassames, et depuis ce temps nous sommes
ennemis mortels" — " Je sais qu'il-y-a de bons
remedes mais je ne sais pas s'il-y-a de bons
m^decins" — " Tout payeur est traite comme un mari,"
and a hundred things besides, are worthy of the
author of Candide at his very best, and his country-
men could not fail to relish them. They were less
keen to relish such a presentment as that of Gil
Bias, and therefore Lesage's fame, great as it has
been even in France, has been more European than
French, and he is to be quoted and compared with
foreigners rather than with his countrymen.

There is another point of importance in which
Lesage has a resemblance to Shakspeare. He has
not merely in some not small measure the quality
of universality, but he has, and this in very great
measure, the quality of detachment. He seems to look
at his characters with the same inscrutable im-
partiality as that with which their creator contem-
plates lago and Goneril, Macbeth and Claudius. He

ALAW RENE LESAGE. xlijf

does not describe their monkey tricks with any
particular gusto, at least of a personal kind, nor does
he regard them with the least moral indignation.
All that does not concern him. Writing as he did
in a period of very low morality — there probably
never was a time when the general moral standard
was lower in Europe than in the first half of the
eighteenth century — and taking for his models a mass
of writings dealing with unscrupulous adventures
and intrigue, he has had to describe what is bad
much oftener than what is good. But it is impossible
to say either that he gloats over the vices and follies
which he describes, or that he records them with
cynical amusement, or that he holds them up for
righteous detestation. The least little appearance
of the second attitude may sometimes be found in
the utterances of Asmodeus, which are as personal
as anything we have of his ; but even this is, for the
most part, dramatic merely. This quality, beyond
all doubt, is connected with the former, and is, indeed,
to a great extent implied by it. When a man is
very much in earnest about points of morality, still
more when he wTites definitely with a moral or im-
moral purpose, he seldom succeeds in giving us the
complete presentation of his characters. He is
bribed, without knowing it, by his prepossessions, he
cannot help, if he objects to the established stan-
dards of morality, softening the vicious characters

1 Alain hene lesagS.

unduly, or hardening them unduly if he be among
the moral sub-division of the heretics of instruction. I
do not know that Lesage has been much examined
by the strenuous advocates of the moral element in
literature, though they have not neglected Fielding, his
English parallel. The fact is that Fielding's irregu-
lar life ratlier assists them, while the little that is
known of Lesage goes to show that he was in his
own person an exemplary liver. It is, however,
true that the resemblances between Fielding and
Lesage are great, not merely in that they adopted
the same general conception of the novel, but
that they succeeded in working out that conception
and in bringing their characters, or some of
them, under the species ceternitatis. An English-
man naturally speaks with some caution about Field-
ing, because he himself is not in so good a position
as foreigners to judge how far Fielding has accom-
plished this. Englishmen, however, are the best
possible judges of Lesage, because they are equally
free from bias connected with the language in which
he writes and from bias connected with the country
which he illustrates.

There is one important and intricate question
"which can hardly be passed over, though here, at
least, it can only be very summarily dealt with.
It has been said that until the present century no
French writer, except Montaigne and Eabelais

It Am RENE LESAgS. ll

deserves the title of humorist, and this would, of
course, exclude Lesage. On the other hand, the
exclusion has been objected to in the interest of
some mediaival writers. The truth is, that the
whole question turns on one of the most disputed
points in literature — the definition of humour. If,
as it has been admirably put, the humorist is a
man who " thinks in jest when he feels in earnest ;"
or if, as Thackeray puts it, he is a weekday preacher,
then Lesage most assuredly is not one. For not
only has he no direct moral purpose, which, indeed,
is oftener than not fatal to humour, but it is diffi-
cult to discern that he has, as Eabelais, Montaigne,
and Shakspeare had, any general theory or grasp
of the world or of life, whether poetical, ironical,
or sceptical, which could supply him with the neces-
sary background for humour. Neither had he, like
Fielding and Thackeray himself, a passionate interest
in that world — a sympathy with it which, in its way,
is also sufficient to bring out the strokes of the
strange invisible ink called humour. It would seem,
therefore, that his exclusion is justified, and as he
shares it with Moli^re, and even with Lafontaine,
he need not be ashamed of his company. Like these
still greater men, however, he had a wit so fine, so
flexible, so far transcending the ordinary limitations
of wit, that it almost amounted to humour, and may
be said to be practically a substitute for it.

in Alain reke LESAot.

This brings us to the consideration of a point of
very great importance — the style of Lesage. In
all such cases the modern reader who merely looks
hack is very likely to be deceived by his point of
view. Yet even the modern reader, if he has but
some notion of the date of his author, must, I should
think, be conscious of a singular modernness in Oil
Bias and the Diable Boiteux compared with Bossuet,
Fenelon, even Malebranche, and still more with
Madame de S^vigne and Saint-Simon. Lesage,
indeed, was one of aline of great writers chiefly of tiie
lighter kind, who, perhaps, did most of any of their
contemporaries to shape French style, as it has been
generally imderstood until recently. Saint-Evremond
and Pascal are the earliest of these, and Lesage,
taking up the torch, handed it on to Voltaire. It is
noteworthy that Voltaire, perhaps on the principle
of kicking down his ladders, was unjust both to
Saint-Evremond and to Lesage, though, as has been
said, the latter had certainly provoked him. The
great distinction of Lesage is the extreme ease of his
writing and the manner in which his good things,
such as those already cited above, drop naturally
out in the midst of his narrative or dialogue, with-
out any efitbrt or apparent leading up. It would
demand a much greater acquaintance with Spanish
literature than any to which I, even at second-hand,
can pretend, to decide whether his studies had any-

ALAIN RENf LESAGE. liil

thing to do witli this ; but I think that it may he
tolerably safely assumed that they had not, except
by way of contrast ; for many, if not most, of the
works which Lesage translated or followed were
written in the extremest gongorist or conceited
style — a style as remote from his as Lyly's from
Steele's. It may possibly be contended that it was
in fighting against this excess that Lesage learnt the
secret of a wise economy. Certainly, there are
not merely few writers in whom there is so little
archaism, affectation, mannerism, or deliberate
oddity and obscurity, but also few in whom the
style is so absolutely plain and unadorned, without
being in the least vulgar, or, in the unfavourable
sense, homely. His autobiographies, probably owing
to this, have, more than most autobiographies, the
air of being really told by a speaker and not
elaborated in the study. There are no ponderous
sentences, no phrases over which the reader sees
that the pen has hung a long time, and, as has been
already noted, none of the leading-up and pre-
paration which certain witty writers are unable to
avoid or to conceal. The most commonplace things
are said with perfect simplicity, and yet, somehow
or other, in a way on which it is impossible to
improve. It must be a bold man wiio thinks he
can better a saying of Lesage's, and that notf
because of any tour de force of unusual please o?

Kt ALAIN RENE LESAGE.

out-of-the-way thought, but, on the contrary, iDecause
the simplicity has reached the lowest term, Nothing
can be taken away, and nothing can be added that
is not a useless addition.

The question of his alleged plagiarisms has been
already, to some extent, dealt with. It has been
shown, that is to say, that in the way of absolute
stealing the charge has not the slightest probability.
The strongest argument of all is, indeed, that when
we see what he did with originals which we possess,
such as Guzman d'Alfarache and the Diablo Cojuelo,
there could be no motive for discreditable appro-
priation in other cases. But, when the charge in its
offensive sense has been laid aside, it remains to
consider the use which he did make of puUica
materies. There can be no doubt that, as was the
case with Shakspeare and Moliere and many other
men of the very greatest genius, he made wholesale
and indiscriminate use thereof. There is proof of
this in many cases ; there is probability of it in many
more. Indeed, there is in this and other instances
almost ground for the paradox that it is only men
of little creative power who are scrupulously
original. Many very small poets, by luck or by care,
have kept free from the charge of indebtedness to
anybody, while Shakspeare calmly versifies whole
pages of North's " Plutarch ;" while Moliere com-
pels restitution of his goods from the unlucky

ALAIX RENE LESAGE. Iv

people who happened to possess them first without,
the least scruple ; while Milton lays Dutch drama-
tists and French epic poets and Italian opera
librettists under contribution as coolly as if they
had been Koyalist squires. In Lesage's case there
is, however, something more than this. In the
three great cases just mentioned, and in many
others, it is only now and then that the borrowers
condescend to borrow ; it is a passing freak, or, to
speak more respectfully and with more critical
truth, an occasional conviction that here are the
tools of which they themselves can make the best use.
But there are some men, and those not among the
least in literature, who, from a certain idiosyncrasy,
which may, perhaps, be termed an indolence of
brain, have seemed to prefer always, when it was
possible, to work on beaten tracks and to take their
start from some already-accomplished work. The
most remarkable example of this variety of talent
in English literature is Dryden ; the most remark-
able in French literature is beyond all question
Lesage. Yet Lesage must in respect of absolute
originality be ranked below Dryden, because his
^'eatest work, though its substance may be inde-
pendent enough, springs in point of general design
directly from Spanish originals, while the greatest
work of Dryden, his satiric and didactic pieces, was
not directly suggested by anything precedent. It

Ivi ALAIN RENE LESAGE.

may "be said, indeed, that, of the four productions
which we have singled out as exhibiting Lesage at
his best, the two dramas are far more original than
the two novels. Whether Lesage, had he been more
favoured by the exponents of the regular drama and
had he devoted himself longer thereto, would have
produced something even more original than Crispin
and Turcaret must be left among the merely scholastic
problems of literature, the " might-have-beens"
inquiry into which is bootless and idle. The time,
however, had not come for any innovation on the
set lines of French comedy and tragedy, even had
the author been disposed for such innovation, and it
is noteworthy enough that, when in his specially-
chosen province of the Theatre de la Foire an oppor-
tunity appeared for a bold stroke, he declined it. On
one occasion the jealousy of the regular actors had
procured a police edict restricting their rivals to a
single personage. The managers of the fair stage
were in despair, for neither Lesage nor any of their
other regular contributors would attempt the task
of a monodrama, and recourse had to be had to the
untried and fitful but fertile genius of Piron, whose
Arleguin Deucalion got them out of the difficulty.
This anecdote seems to argue a certain indisposition
to try experiments which is consistent enough
with what we have of Lesage's work. It must be
remembered, too, that he did not begin literary labour

ALAIN RENE LESAGE. IvU

very young, and that he did not make any great
success in it until he was already a man of middle age.
There are not wanting examples of striking origin-
ality in conception as well as striking power of
execution displayed by late-writing authors. But
on the whole it may, perhaps, be safely said that
invention is a habit as much as any other, and that
it is a habit which is for the most part only acquired
in youth.

Such are the principal critical points which
present themselves in the life of this great novelist
and master of French prose. As one turns over the
leaves of a library catalogue and sees the immense
number of editions, translations, and what not, that
Gil Bias has gone through and undergone in its
century-and-a-half of life, it is impossible not to
draw the conclusion that its goodness is a matter
settled and out of hand. One generation may
make egregious mistakes, and constantly does make
egregious mistakes, about an author, leaving him to
unjust neglect, or awarding to him stiU more absurd
triumphs. Subsequent generations may, in a way,
continue the mistake by leaving the justice of the
verdict, for or against, undisturbed, because the
evidence is undisturbed likewise. But when a
book has actually been read by half-a-dozen suc-^
cessive sets of the inhabitants of the earth, when its
jjiost remarkable incidents aiid charagters have be*

Iviii ALAIN RENE LESAGE.

come part of tlie common stock of furniture pos-
sessed even by a very modest housekeeper in things
literary, then there is not much reason for question-
ing the value. The works, even the best works, of
Lesage are, of course, not good throughout. Even
in Le DiaUe Boiteux, despite its moderate length,
there are longueurs, and there are most assuredly
longueurs in Gil Bias. Some of it is obsolete,
some could be well spared now, some, it is difficult
not to think, could have been well spared at any
time. But its best things are as fresh as ever and
are likely to continue so as long as human nature
exists. The opening chapters, the address to the
reader — Lesage was never happier than his ad-
dresses to the reader, prefaces, and such like things —
the episodes of Sangrado and the Archbishop, half
a hundred things beside, are as amusing to read for
the twentieth time as for the first. What is, per-
haps, of more importance, the same may be said of
the best passages, even in the work which has been
less favoured by the general approbation. But at
the same time no one who weighs his words will
attempt to deny that Lesage has produced a con-
siderable amount of inferior work side by side with
his masterpieces. Nor can it be denied that, as has
been more than once here allowed^ his range is but
limited and that he seems to require a somewhat un-
usual amount of prompting and crutching before hg

ALAIN RENE LESAGE. Hx

is able to make his bow and say his say. These
things debar him from the place among the chosen
few of the writers of his country to which the
wonderful success of his best work and the purity
of his style would otherwise entitle him. In
theoretical originality, in variety of work, in con-
struction, he is very deficient. Gil Bias drags
rather than hastens to its end, the author having
failed completely to extricate himself from the toils
of the endless episodes and digressions of his
Spanish models. Turcaret in the same manner
lacks unity and precision of plot. Excellence of
style and surprising fidelity to human nature in
character-drawing — these are the two pillars of
Lesage's renown, and it is solidly established upon
them. He is thus one of the few writers, to return
to the point from which we started, of whom it can
be definitely said that, if he had been in more
fortunate worldly circumstances, he would have
done better, unless, which is, perhaps, equally pro-
bable, he had done nothing at all. Necessity was
with him, as with others, the mother of invention — •
the invention, that is to say, of his own talent. But
with gifts which do not fall to the lot of one writer
in a thousand, he did not always or very often
succeed in getting those gifts into perfect working
order. His selection of foreign subjects, and the
very natural, though very unjust, suspicion of gravQ

tX ALAIN RENjf LESAGS.

indebtedness to foreign models, have also worked
against his fame. Yet, with those who have con-
sidered novel-writing seriously, he wiD. always rank
as one of the princes of character-drawing in its
largest and most human sense, while with those
who busy themselves with the history of French
literature he will always hold the rank of the best
writer of the first quarter of the eighteenth century.

HISTORY OF GIL BLA^
OF SANTILLANE.

BOOK THE FIRST.
CHAPTER I.

THE BIRTH AND EDUCATION OF GIL BIAS.

My father, Bias of Santillane, after having borne
aims for a long time in the Spanish service, retired
to his native place. There he married a chamber-
maid who was not exactly in her teens, and I made
my debut on this stage ten months after marriage.
They afterwards went to live at Oviedo, where my
mother got into service, and my father obtained a
situation equally adapted to his capacities as a squire.
As their wages were their fortune, I might have got
my education as I could, had it not been for an
uncle of mine in the town, a canon, by name Gil
Perez. He was my mother's eldest brother, and my
godfather. Figure to yourself a little fellow, three
feet and a half high, as fat as you can conceive, with
a head sunk deep between his shoulders, and you
have my uncle to the life. For the rest of his qual-
ities, he was an ecclesiastic, and of course thought
of nothing but good living, I mean in the flesh as

l4 &tl SLAS.

well as in the spirit, with tlie means of which good
living his stall, no lean one, provided him.

He took me home to his own house from my in-
fancy, and ran the risk of my bringing up. I struck
him as so brisk a lad, that he resolved to cultivate
my talents. He bought me a primer, and undertook
my tuition as far as reading went : which was not
amiss for himself as well as for me ; since by teach-
ing me my letters he brushed up his own learning,
which had not been pursued in a very scholastic
manner ; and, by dint of application, he got at last
to read his breviary out of liand, which he had never
been able to do before. He would have been very
glad to have taught me Latin, to save expense, but,
alas ! poor Gil Perez ! he had never skimmed the
first principles of it in the whole course" of his life.
I should not wonder if he was the most ignorant
member of the chapter ; tliough on a subject invoic-
ing as many possibilities as there were canons, I
presume not to pledge myself for anything like cer-
tainty. To be sure, I have heard it suggested, that
he did not gain his preferment altogether by his
learning : but that he owed it exclusively to the
gratitude of some good nuns whose discreet factor he
had been, and who had credit enough to procure
him the order of priesthood without the troublesome
ceremony of an examination.

He was obliged therefore to place me under the
correction of a master, so that I was sent to Doctor
Godinez, who had the reputation of being the most
accomplished pedant of Oviedo. I j)rofited so well

^mtH AND EDUCATION. 15

under his instructions, that by the end of five or six
years I could read a Greek author or two, and had
no very inadequate conception of the Latin poets.
Besides my classical studies, I applied to logic,
which enabled me to become an expert arguer. I
now fell in love with discussions of all kinds to such
an excess, that I stopped his majesty's subjects on
the high road, acquaintance or strangers, no matter !
and proposed some knotty point of controversy.
Sometimes I feU in with a clan of Irish, and an
altercation never comes amiss to them ! That was
your time, if you are fond of a battle. Sucli ges-
tures ! such grimaces ! such contortions ! Our eyes
sparkling, and our mouths foaming ! Those who
did not take us for what we affected to be, philoso-
phers, must have set us down for madmen.

But let that be as it will, I gained the reputation
of no small learning in the town. My uncle was
delighted, because he prudently considered that I
should so much the sooner cease to be chargeable to
him. Come here, Gil Bias, quoth he one day, you
are got to be a fine fellow. You are past seventeen,
and a clever lad : you must bestir yourself, and get
forward in the world. I think of sending you to
the University of Salamanca : with your wit, you will
easily get a good post. I will give you a few ducats
for your journey, and my mule, which will fetch ten
or twelve pistoles at Salamanca, and with such a
sum at setting out, you will be enabled to hold up
your head till you get a situation.

He could not have proposed to me anything more

15 GtL ntAS.

agreeable : for I was dying to see a little of life.
At the same time, I was not such a fool as to betray
my satisfaction ; and when it came to the hour of
parting, by the sensibility I discovered at taking
leave of my dear uncle, to whom I was so much
obliged, and by calling in the stage effect of grief, I
so softened the good soul, that he put his hand
deeper into his pocket than he would have done,
could he have pried into all that was passing in the
interior of my hypocritical little heart. Before my
departure I took a last leave of my papa and mam-
ma, who loaded me with an ample inheritance of
good advice. They enjoined me to pray to God for
my uncle, to go honestly through the world, not to
engage in any ill, and above all, not to lay my
hands on other people's property. After they had
lectured me for a good while, they made me a pres-
ent of their blessing, wliich was all my patrimony
and all my expectation. As soon as I had received
it, I mounted my mule, and saw the outside of the
town.

CHAPTER 11.

OIL BIAS' ALARM ON HIS ROAD TO PEGNAFLOR; HIS AD-
VENTURES ON HIS ARRIVAL IN THAT TOWN; AND THE
CHARACTER OF THE MEN WITH WHOM HE SUPPED.

Here I am, then, on the other side of Oviedo,
on the road to Pegnaflor, with the world before me,
as yet my own master, as well as master of a bad

JOURNEY TO PEGNAFLOR. 1*^

mule and forty good ducats, without reckoning on a
little supplementary cash purloined from my much-
honored uncle. The first thing I did was to let my
mule go as the beast liked, that is to say, very lazi-
ly. I dropped the rein, and taking out my ducats,
began to count them backwards and forwards in my
hat. I was out of my wits for joy, never having
seen such a sum of money before, and could not help
looking at it and sifting it through my fingers. I
had counted it over about the twentieth time, when
all at once my mule, with head raised and ears
pricked up, stood stock still in the middle of the
hiffh road. I thought to be sure somethino^ was the
matter ; looked about for a cause, and perceiving a
hat upon the gi'ound, with a rosary of large beads,
at the same time heard a lugubrious voice pronounce
these words : Pray, honored master, have pity on a
poor maimed soldier ! Please to throw a few small
pieces into this hat ; you shall be rewarded for it in
the other world. I looked immediately on the side
whence the voice proceeded ; and saw just by a
thicket, twenty or thirty paces from me, a sort of a
soldier, who had mounted the barrel of a confounded
long carbine on two cross sticks, and seemed to be
taking aim at me. At a sight which made me trem-
ble for the patrimony of the church committed to my
care, I stoj)ped short, made sure of my ducats, and
taking out a little small chanoe, as T rode bvthe hat,
placed to receive the cliarity of tlioise quiet subjects
who had not the courage to refuse it, dropped in my
contribution in detail, to convince the soldier how

18 GIL BLAS.

nobly I dealt by liim. He was satisfied with mf
liberality, and gave me a blessing for every kick I
gave my mule in my impatience to get out of his
way ; but the infernal beast, without partaking in
the slightest degree of my impatience, went at the
old steady pace. A long custom of jogging on fair
and softly under my uncle's weight had obliterated
every idea of that motion called a gallop.

The prospect of my journey was not much im-
proved by this adventure as a specimen. I con-
sidered within myself that I had yet some distance
to Salamanca, and might, not improbably, meet
with something worse. My uncle seemed to have
been very imprudent not to have consigned me to
the care of a muleteer. That, to be sure, was what
he ought to have done ; but his notion was, that by
giving me his mule my journey would be cheaper ;
and that entered more into his calculation than the
dangers in which I might be involved on the road.
To retrieve his error, therefore, I resolved, if I had
the good luck to arrive safe at Pegnaflor, to offer my
mule for sale, and take the opportunity of a muleteei
going to Astorga, whence I might get to Salamanca
by a similar conveyance. Though I had never been
out of Oviedo, I was acquainted with the names of
the towns through which I was to pass ; a species of
information I took care to procure before my setting
out.

I got safe and sound to Pegnaflor, and stopped at
the door of a very decent-looking inn. My foot was
scarcely out of the stirrup before the landlord was at

tits ADVENTURES tHEM. 1^

my side, overwhelming me with public-house civility.
He untied my cloak-bag with liis own hands, swung
it across his shoulders, and ushered my honor into a
room, while one of his men led my mule to the sta-
ble. This landlord, the most busy prattler of the
Asturias, ready to bother you impertinently about
his own concerns, and at the same time with a suf-
ficient portion of curiosity to worm himself into the
knowledge of yours, was not long in telling me that
his name was Andrew Corcuelo ; that he had seen
some service as a sergeant in the army, which he had
quitted fifteen months ago, and married a girl of
Castropol, who, though a little tawny or so, knew
how to make both ends meet as well as the best of
them. He told me a thousand things besides which
he might just as well have kept private. Tliinking
himself entitled, after this voluntary confidence, to
an equal share of mine, he asked me in a breath,
and without fiu-ther preface, whence I came, whither
I was going, and who I was. To all this I felt my-
self bound to answer, article by article, because,
though rather abrupt in asking them, he accom-
panied each question with so apologetic a bow, be-
seechino; me with so submissive a jn'iraace not to be
offended at his curiosity, that I was drawn in to
gratify it, whether I would or no. Thus by degrees
did we get into a long conversation, in the course of
which I took occasion to hint, that I had some rea-
sons for wishing to get rid of my mule, and travel
under convoy of a muleteer. He seemed on the
whole to approve of my plan, though he could not

20 c?/i BIAS.

prevail with himself to tell me so briefly ; for he in*
troduced his remarks by descanting on all the possi-
ble and probable mischances to which travellers are
liable on the road, not omitting an awkward story
now and then. I thought the fellow would never
have done. But the conclusion of the argument
was, that if I wanted to sell my mule, he knew an
honest jockey who would take it off my hands. I
begged he would do me the favor to fetch him, which
was no sooner said than done.

On his return he introduced the purchaser, with a
high encomium on his integrity. We all three went
into the yard, and the mule was brought out to show
paces before the jockey, who set himself to examine
the beast from head to foot. His report was bad
enough. To be sure, it would not have been easy
to make a good one ; but if it had been the pope's
mule, and tliis fellow was to cheapen the bargain, it
would have been just the same : nay, to speak with
all due reverence, if he had been asked to give an
opinion of the pope's great toe, from that dispara-
ging habit of his, he would have pronounced it no
better than the toe of any ordinary man. He laid
jt down therefore, as a principle, that the mule had
all the defects a mule could have ; appealing to the
landlord for a confirmation of his judgment, who,
doubtless, had reasons of his own for not controvert-
ing his friend's assertion. WeU ! says the jockey,
with an air of indiflPerence, what price have you the
conscience to ask for this devil of an animal ? After
such a panegyric, and master Corcuelo's certificate,

SELLS HIS MULE. 21

whom I was fool enoujjh to take for a fair-dealino'
man and a good judge of horseflesh, they might have
had the mule for nothmg. I therefore told the deal-
er that I threw myself on his mercy : he must fix
his own sura, and I should expect no more. On
this, he began to aifect the gentleman, and answered
that I had found out the weak side when I left it to
liis honor. He was r'vAit enou^-h in that ! His hon-
or was his weak side ! for instead of bidding up to
my uncle's estimate of ten or twelve pistoles, the
rascal had the impudence to offer three ducats, which
I accepted with as light a heart as if I had got the
best of the bargain.

Having disencumbered myself of my mule in so
tradesmanlike a manner, I went with my landlord to
a carrier who was to set out early the next morning
for Astorga, and engaged to call me up in time.
When we had settled the hire of the mule, as well as
the expenses on the road, I turned back towards the
inn with Corcuelo, who, as we went along, got into
the private history of this muleteer. When I had
been pestered witli all the tittle-tattle of the town
about this fellow, the changes were just beginning
to ring on some new subject ; but, by good luck, a
pretty-looking sort of a man very civilly interrupted
my loquacious friend. I left them together, and
sauntered on, without tlie slightest suspicion of bc-
mg at all concerned in tlieir discourse.

I ordered supper as soon as I got to the inn. It
was a fish day : but I thought eggs were better
suited to my finances. While they were getting

22 f^I^ BIAS.

ready I joined in conversation with the landlady,
whom I had not seen before. She seemed a pretty
piece of goods enough, and such a stu'ring body,
that I should have concluded, if her husband had
not told me so, her tavern must have plenty of cus-
tom. The moment the omelet was served up, I sat
down to table by myself, and had scarcely got the
relish of it, when my landlord walked in, followed
by the man Avho had stopped him in the street.
This pleasant gentleman wore a long rapier, and
might, perhaps, be about thirty years of age. He
came up to me in the most friendly manner possible.
Mr. Professor, says he, I have just now heard that
you are the renowned Gil Bias of Santillane, that
ornament of Oviedo and luminary of philosophy.
And do my eyes behold that very greatest of all
great scholars and wits, whose reputation has run
hither so fast before him ! Little do you think, con-
tinues he, directing his discourse to the landlord and
landlady, little do you imagine, I say, what good
luck has befallen you. Why, you have got hold of
a treasure. In this young gentleman you behold
the eighth wonder of the world. Then running up
and throwing his arms about my neck. Excuse me,
added he ; but worlds would not bribe me to sup-
press the rapturous emotions your honored presence
has excited.

I could not answer him so glibly as I wished, not
so much for want of words as of breath ; for he
huffored me so tigflit that I be^an to be alarmed for
my wind-pipe. As soon, however, as I had got my

CHARACTER OF HIS GUEST. 23

head out of durance, I replied, Signor cavalier, I
had not the least conception that my name was
known at Pefjnaflor. Known? resumed he in the
same pompous stylp ; we keep a register of all great
persons within a circuit of twenty leagues round us.
You have the character of a prodigy here ; and I
have not a shadow of doubt, but one day or other
Spain will be as proud of numbering you among her
rare productions, as Greece of having given birth to
her seven wise men. This fine spcecli was followed
as before ; and I really began to think that with all
my classical honors I should at last be doomed to
share the fate of Anfaeus. If I had been master of
ever so little experience, I should not have been the
dupe of liis rhodomontade. I must have discovered
him, by his outrageous compliments, to be one of
those parasites who swarm in every town, and get
into a stranger's company on his arrival, to appease
the wolf in their stomachs at his expense ; but my
youth and vanity tempted me to draw a quite oppo-
site conclusion. My admirer was very clever in my
eyes, and I asked him to supper on the strength of
it. Oh ! most willingly, cried he : with all my heart
and soul. My fortunate star predominates, now that
I have the honor of being in company with the illus-
trious Gil Bias of Santillane, and I sliall certainly
make the most of my good fortune as long as it
lasts. My appetite is rather delicate, but I will
just sit down with you by way of being sociable,
and if I can swallow a bit ! only just not to look
sulky ; for we philosophers are careless of the body.

24 GIL BIAS.

These words were no sooner out of his mouth,
than my panegyrist took his seat opposite to me.
A cover was laid for him in due form and order.
First he fell on the omelet with as much persever-
ance as if he had not tasted food for three whole
days. By the complacency with which he eyed it
I was morally certain the poor pancake was at
death's door. I therefore ordered its heir apparent
to succeed ; and the business was despatched with
such speed, that the second made its appearance on
the table, just as we; — no: — I beg pardon; —
just as he had taken the last lick of its predeces-
sor. He pressed forward the- main business, how-
ever, with a diligence and activity proportioned to
the importance of the object he had in view : so
that he contrived to load me with panegyric on
panegyric, without losing a single stroke in the
progress of mastication. Now all this gave me no
slender conceit of my pretty little self. When a
man eats, he must drink. The first toast of course
was my health. The second, in common civility,
was my father and mother, whose happiness in hav-
ing such an angel of a son, he could not sufficiently
envy or admire. All this Avhile he kept filling my
glass, and challenging me to keep pace with him.
It was impossible to be backward in doing justice
to such excellent toasts and sentiments : the com-
pliments with Avhich they were seasoned did not
come amiss ; so that I got into such a convivial
mood, at observing our second omelet to disappear
not insensibly, as just to ask the landlord if he could

THE PARASITE'S LESSON. 25

not find us a little bit of fish. Master Corcuelo,
who to all appearance played booty with the para-
site, told me he had an excellent trout ; but those
who eat him must pay for him. I am afraid he is
meat for your masters. Meat for our masters ! ex-
claims my very humble servant in an angry tone
of voice : that is more than you know, my friend.
Are you yet to learn that the best of your larder
is not too ffood for the renowned Gil Bias of San-
tillane? Go where he will, he is fit to table with
princes.

I was very glad that he took up the landlord's
last expression ; because if he had not, I should.
I felt myself a little hurt at it, and said to Corcuelo
with some degree of hauteur : Produce this trout
of yours, and I will take the consequences. The
landlord, who had got just what he wanted, set him-
self to work, and served it up in high order. At
the first glance of this tliird course I saw such pleas-
ure sparkling in the parasite's eyes, as to prove him
to be of a very complying temper ; just as ready to
do a kindness by the fish, as by those said eggs of
which he had given so good an account. But at
last he was obliged to lay down his arms, for fear
of accidents ; as his magazine was crammed to the
very throat. Having eaten and drank his fill, he
bethought him of putting a finishing hand to the
farce. Master Gil Bias, said he, as he rose from
the table, I am too well pleased with my princely
entertainment, to leave you without a word of ad-
yice, of which you seem to stand in much need.

26 GIL BLAS.

From this time forward be on your guard against
extravagant praise. Do not trust men till you know
them. You may meet with many another man, who,
like me, may amuse himself at your expense, and
perhaps carry the joke a little further. But do not
you be taken in a second time, to believe yourself,
on the word of such fellows, the eighth wonder of
the world. With this sting in the tail of his fare-
well speech he very coolly took his leave.

I Avas as much alive to so ridiculous a circum-
stance, as I have ever been in after-life to the most
severe mortifications. I did not know how to rec-
oncile myself to the idea of having been so egregi-
ously taken in, or, in fact, to lowering of my pride.
So, so ! quoth I, this rascal has been putting his
tricks upon travellers, has he? Then he only want-
ed to pump my landlord ! or more likely they were
both in a story. Ah ! my poor Gil Bias, thou hadst
better hide thy silly head ! To have suffered such
knaves as these to turn thee into ridicule ! A pretty
story they will make of this ! It is sure to travel
back to Oviedo : and will give our friends a hopeful
prospect of thy success in life. The family will be
quite delighted to think what a blessed harvest all
their pious advice has produced. There was no oc-
casion to preach up morals to thee ; for verily thou
hast more of the dupe than the sharper in thy com-
position. Ready to tear my eyes out or bite my
fingers off from spite and vexation, I locked myself
Up in my chamber and went to bed, but not to sleep ;
of which I had not got a wink when the muleteer

THE LANDLORD'S BILL. 27

came to tell me, that he only waited for me to set
out on his journey. I got up as expeditiously as I
could ; and while I was dressing Corcuelo put in his
appearance, with a little bill in his hand ; — a slight
memorandum of the trout ! But paying through
the nose was not the worst of it ; for I had the vex-
ation to perceive, that while I was counting over the
cost, this hanif-doo; was chucklinor at the recollec-
tion of the night before. Having been fleeced most
shamefully for a supper, which stuck in my stomach
though I had scarcely come in for a morsel of it, I
joined the muleteer with my baggage, giving to as
many devils as there are saints in the calendar, the
parasite, the landlord, and the inn.

►*»+■

CHAPTER III.

THE MULETEER'S TEMPTATION ON THE ROAD; ITS CONSE.
QUENCES, AND THE SITUATION OF GIL liLAS BETWEEN
SCYLLA AND CHARYBDIS.

I WAS not the only passenger. There were two
young gentlemen of Pegnaflor ; a little chorister of
Mondognedo, who was travelling about the country,
and a young tradesman of Astorga, returning home
from Verco with his new-married wife. We soon
got acquainted, and exchanged the usual confidence
of travellers, telling one another whence we came
and whither we were going. The bride was young
enough ; but so dark-complexioned, with so little of

28 GIL BLAS.

what a man likes to look at in a woman, that I did
not think her worth the trouble. But she had youth
and a good crummy person on her side, and the
muleteer, being rather less nice in his taste, was re-
solved to try if he could not get into her good graces.
This pretty project occupied his ingenuity during the
whole day ; but he deferred the execution tiU we
should get to Cacabclos, the last place where we
were to stop on the road. AV^e alighted at an inn in
the outskirts of the town, a quiet convenient place,
with a landlord who never troubled himself about
other people's concerns. We were ushered into a
private room, and got our supper snugly ; but just
as the cloth was taken away in comes our carrier in
a furious passion : — Death and the devil ! I have
been robbed. Here had I a hundred pistoles in my
piu-se ! But I will have them back again. I am
going for a magistrate ; — and those gentry will not
take a joke upon such serious subjects. You will
all be put to the rack, unless you confess, and give
back the money. The fellow played his part very
naturally, and burst out of the room, leaving us in a
terrible fright.

We had none of us the least suspicion of the trick,
and, being all strangers, were afraid of one another.
I looked askance at the little chorister, and he, per-
haps, had no better opinion of me. Besides, we
were all a pack of greenhoi'ns, and were quite unac-
quainted with the routine of business on these occa-
sions. We were fools enough to believe that the
torture would be the very first stage of our examjnar.

fHM MULETEER'S TRICK. 2^

tion. With this dread upon our spirits, we all made
for the door. Some effected their escape into the
street, others into the garden ; but the whole party-
preferred the discretion of running away to the valor
of standing their ground. The young tradesman of
Astorga had as great an objection to bone-twisting
as the rest of us : so he did as Eneas, and many
another good husband has done before him ; — ran
away, and left his wife behind. At that critical
moment the muleteer, as I was told afterwards, who
had not half so much sense of decency as his own
mules, delighted at the success of his stratagem, be-
gan moving his motives to the citizen's wife : but
this Lucrece of the Asturias, borrowing the chastity
of a saint from the ugliness of the devil who tempted
her, defended her sweet person tooth and nail ; and
showed she was in earnest about it by the noise she
made. The patrol, who happened to be passing by
the inn at the time, and knew that the neighborhood
required a little looking after, took the liberty of just
asking the cause of the disturbance. The landlord,
who was trying if he could not sing in the kitchen
louder than she could scream in the jjarlor, and swore
he heard no music but his own, was at last obliged
to introduce the myrmidons of the police to the dis-
tressed lady, just in time to rescue her from the ne-
cessity of a surrender at discretion. The head offi-
cer, a coarse fellow, without an atom of feeling for
the tender passion, no sooner saw the game that was
playing, than he gave the amorous muleteer five or
six blows with the butt end of his halberd, represent-

§0 GIL BIAS.

ing to him the indecency of his conduct in termS
quite as offensive to modesty as the naughty propen-
sity which had called forth his virtuous indignation.
Neither did he stop here; but laid hold of the
culprit, and carried plaintiff and defendant before
the magistrate. The former, with her charms all
heightened by the discomposure of her dress, went
eagerly to try their effect in obtaining justice for the
outrage they had sustained. His worship heard at
least one party ; and after solemn deliberation pro-
nounced the offence to be of a most heinous nature.
He ordered him to be stripped, and to receive a com-
petent number of lashes in his presence. The 'con-
clusion of the sentence was, that if the Endymioh of
Asturian Diana was not forthcoming the next day, a
couple of guards should escort the disconsolate god-
dess to the town of Astorga, at the expense of this
mule-drivinsr Acteon.

For my part, being probably more terrified than
the rest of the party, I got into the fields, scamper-
ing over hedge and ditch, through enclosures and
across commons, till I found myself hard by a forest.
I was just going for concealment to ensconce myself
in the very heart of the thicket, when two men on
horseback rode across me, crying, ^VTio goes there?
As my alarm prevented me from giving them an im-
mediate answer, they came to close quarters, and
holding each of them a pistol to my throat, required
me to give an account of myself; who I was, whence
I came, what business I had in that forest, and above
all, not to tell a lie about it. Their rough interrog-

HtJMOtl or PltEEBOOTEM. 31

gatives were, according to my notion, little bettei
than the rack with wliich our friend the muleteei
had offered to treat us. I represented myself, how-
ever, as a young man on my way from Oviedo to
Salamanca ; told the story of our late fright, and
faithfully attributed my running away in such a hurry
to the dread of a worse exercise under the torture.
They burst into an immoderate fit of laughter at my
simplicity ; and one of them said : Take heart, my
little friend ; come along with us, and do not be
afraid ; we will put you in a place where the devil
shall not find you. At these words he took me up
behind him, and we darted into the forest.

I did not know what to think of this odd meet-
ing ; yet on the whole I could not well be worse off
than before. If these gentry, thought I to myself,
had been thieves, they would have robbed, and per-
haps mm'dered me. Depend on it, they are a couple
of good honest country gentlemen in this neighbor-
hood, who seeing me frightened, have taken com-
passion on me, and mean to carry me home with-
them and make me comfortable. But these visions
did not last long. After turning and winding back-
ward and forward in deep silence, we found our-
selves at the foot of a hill, where we dismounted.
This is our abode, said one of these sequestered gen-
tlemen. I looked about in all directions, but the
deuce a bit of either house or cottage : not a vestige
of human habitation ! The two men in the mean
time raised a great wooden trap, covered with earth
and briers, to conceal the entrance of a long shelving

32 GtL BLAB.

passage under ground, to which from habit the pooi?
beasts took very kindly of their own accord. Their
masters kept tight hold of me, and let the trap down
after them. Thus was the worthy nephew of my
uncle Perez caught, just for all the world as you
would catch a rat.

CHAPTER IV.

DESCRIPTION OF THE SUBTERRANEOUS DWELLING AND ITS

CONTENTS.

I NOW knew into what company I had fallen ; and
I leave it to any one to judge whether the discovery
must not have rid me of my former fear. A dread
more mighty and more just now seized my faculties.
Money and life, all given up for lost ! With the
air of a victim on his passage to the altar, did I
walk, more dead than alive, between my two con-
ductors, who finding that I trembled, frightened me
so much the more by telling me not to be afraid.
When we had gone two hundred paces, winding
down a declivity all the way, we got into a stable
lighted by two large iron lamps suspended from the
vault above. There was a good store of straw, and
several casks of hay and corn with room enough for
twenty horses : but at that time there were only
the two which came with us. An old negro, who
seemed for his years in pretty good case, was tying
them to the rack where they were to feed.

'THE SUBTERRANEOUS DWELLMG. $3

We went out of the stable. By the melancholy
light of some other lamps, which only served to
dress up horror in its native colors, we arrived at a
kitchen where an old harridan was broiling some
steaks on the coals, and getting supper ready. The
kitchen furniture was better than might be expected,
and the pantry provided in a very plentiful manner.
The lady of the larder's picture is worth drawing.
Considerably on the wrong side of sixty ! — In her
youth, her hair had been of a fiery red ; though she
would have called it auburn. Time had indeed
given it the fairer tint of gray ; but a lock of more
youthful hue, interspersed at intervals, produced all
the variegated effect of the admired autumnal shades.
To say nothing of an olive complexion, she had an
enormous chin turning up, an immense nose turning
down, with a mouth in the middle, modestly retiring
inwards, to make room for its encroaching neigh-
bors. Red eyes are no beauty in any animal but a
ferret ; — hers were purple.

Here, dame Leonarda, said one of the horsemen
as he presented me to this angelic imp of darkness,
we have brought you a young lad. Then looking
round, and observing me to be miserably pale.
Pluck up your spirits, my friend ; you shall come to
no harm. We want a scullion, and have met with
you. You are a lucky dog ! We had a boy who
died about a fortnight ago : you shall succeed to the
preferment. He was rather too delicate for his
place. You seem a good stout fellow, and may live
a week or two longer. We find you in bed and
VOL. I. 3

34 6//: siAii.

board, coal and candle ; but as for day-light, you
will never see that again. Your leisure hours will
pass off very agreeably with Leonarda, who is really
a very good creature, and tolerably tender-hearted ;
you will have all your little comforts about you. I
flatter myself you have not got among beggars. At
this moment, the thief seized a flambeau ; and as I
feared, " with zeal to destroy ; " for he ordered me
to follow him.

He took me into a cellar, where I saw a gi'eat
number of bottles and earthen pots full of excellent
wine. He then made me cross several rooms. In
some were pieces of cloth piled up ; in others, stuffs
and silks. As we passed through I could not help
casting a sheep's eye at the gold and silver plate
peeping out of the different cupboards. After that,
I followed him into a great hall illuminated by three
copper lustres, and serving as a gallery between the
other rooms. Here he put fresh questions to me ;
asking my name ; — why I left Oviedo ; — and when
I had satisfied his curiosity : Well, Gil Bias, said
he, since your only motive for quitting your native
place was to get into something snug and eligible,
to be sure you must have been born to good luck, or
you would not have fallen into our hands. I tell
you once for all, you will live here on the fat of the
land, and may souse over head and ears in ready
money. Besides, you are in a place of perfect
safety. The officers of the holy brotherhood might
pass through the forest a hundred times without
discoverinof our subterraneous abode. The entrance

ftH^ StfBfEJklkAlfSOtfS DWELLWG. 35

18 only known to myself and my comrades. You
may perhaps ask how it came to be contrived, with-
out being perceived by the inhabitants in the neigh-
borhood. But you are to understand, my friend,
that it was made longr agro, and is no work of ours.
After the Moors had made themselves masters of
Granada, of Arragon, and nearly the whole of
Spain, the Cliristians, rather than submit to the
tyranny of infidels, betook themselves to flight, and
lay concealed in this country, in Biscay, and in the
Asturias, whither the brave Don Pelagio had with-
drawn himself. They lived in a state of exile, on
the mountains, or in the woods dispersed in little
knots. Some took up their residences in natural
caves, others in artificial dwellings under gi'ound,
like this we are in. In process of time, when by
the blessing of Providence they had driven their
enemies out of Spain, they returned to the towns.
From that time forth their retreats have served as a
rendezvous for the gentlemen of our profession. It
is true that several of* them have been discovered
and destroyed by the holy brotherhood : but there
are some yet remaining ; and, by great good luck, I
have tenanted this without paying any rent for it
almost these fifteen years : Captain Rolando, at
your service ! I am the lesuler of the band ; and the
man you saw with me is one of my troopers.

36 GtL SLAH.

CHAPTER V.

THE ARRIVAL OF THE BANDITTI IN THE SUBTERRANEOUS
RETREAT, WITH AN ACCOUNT OF THEIR PLEASANT CON-
VERSATION.

Just as Captain Rolando had finished his speech
six new faces made their appearance in the hall ; the
lieutenant and five privates, returning home with
their booty. They were hauling in two great baskets
full of sugar, cinnamon, pepper, figs, almonds, and
raisins. The lieutenant gave an account of their
proceedings to the captain, and told him they had
taken these articles, as well as the sumpter-mule,
from a grocer of Benavento. An oflScial report
having thus been made to the prime-minister, the
grocer's contribution was carried to account ; and
the next step was to regale after their labors. A
large table was set out in the hall. They sent me
back to the kitchen, where dame Leonarda told me
what I had to do. I made the best of a bad bargain,
finding the luck ran against me ; and, swallowing
my grievances, set myself to wait on my noble
masters.

I cleaned my plate, set out my side-board, and
brought up my wine. As soon as I announced din-
ner tt) be on table, consisting of two good black
peppery ragouts for the first course, this high and
mighty company took their seats. They fell to most
voraciously. My place was to wait ; and I handed
about the glasses with so butler-like an air, as to be

ARRIVAL OF THE BANDITTI. S7

not a little complimented on my dexterity. The
chief entertained them with a short sketch of my
story, and praised my parts. But I had recovered
from my mania by this time, and could listen to my
own panegyric with the humility of an anchorite or
the contempt of a philosopher. They all seemed to
take a liking to me, and to think I had dropped
from the clouds on purpose to be their cup-bearer.
My predecessor was a fool to me. Since his death,
the illustrious Leonarda had the honor of presenting
nectar to these ffods of the lower remons. But she
was now degraded, and I had the felicity of being
installed in her office. Thus, old Hebe being a little
the worse for wear, young Ganymede tripped up her
heels.

A substantial joint of meat after the ragouts at
length blunted the edge of their appetites. Eating
and drinking went together : so that they soon got
into a merry pin, and made a roaring noise. A\ ell
done, my lads ! All talkers and no listeners. One
begins a long story, another cuts a joke ; here a fel-
low bawls, there a fellow sings ; and they all seem
to be at cross-purposes. At last Rolando, tired of
a concert in which he could hardly liear tlie sound of
his own voice, let them know that he was maestro
di capella, and brought them into better tune. Gen-
tlemen, said he, I have a question to put. Instead
of stunning one another with tliis infernal din, had
we not better enjoy a little raticmal conversation?
A thought is just come into my head. Since the
happy day that united us we have never had the

38 GIL BIAS.

curiosity to inquire into each other's pedigrees, or by
what chain of circumstances we w^ere each of us led
to embrace our present way of life. There would
be no harm in knowing who and who are togrether.
Let us exchange confidence : we may find some
amusement in it. The lieutenant and the rest, like
true heroes of romance, accepted the challenge with
the utmost courtesy, and the captain told the first
story to the following effect : —

Gentlemen, you are to know that I am the only
son of a rich citizen in Madrid. The day of my
birth was celebrated in the family by rejoicings with-
out end. My father, no chicken, thought it a con-
siderable feat to have got an heir, and my mother
was kind enough to suckle me herself. My maternal
grandfather was still living : a good old man, who
did not trouble himself about other people's con-
cerns, but said his prayers, and fought his campaigns
over and over again ; for he had been in the army.
Of course I was idolized by these "three persons ;
never out of their arms. My early years were
passed in the most childish amusements, for fear of
hurting my health by application. It will not do,
said my father, to hammer much learning into chil-
dren till time has ripened their understanding. While
he waited for this ripening, the season went by. I
could neither read nor write : but I made up for that
in other ways. My father taught me a thousand
different games. I became perfectly acquainted with
cards, was no stranger to dice, and my grandfather
get me the example of drawing the long bow, while

THE CAPTAIN RELATES HIS HISTORY. 39

he entertained me with his military exploits. He
sung the same songs repeatedly one after another
every day ; so that when, after saying ten or twelve
lines after him for three months together, I got to
boggle through them without missing, the whole
family were in raptures at my memory. Neither
was my wit thought to be at all less extraordinary ;
for I was suffered to talk at random, and took care
to put in my oar in the most impertinent manner
possible. O, the pretty little dear ! exclaimed my
father, as if he had been fascinated. My mother
made it up with kisses, and my grandfather's old
eyes overflowed. I played all sorts of dirty and
indecent tricks before them with impunity ; every
thing was excusable in so fine a boy : an angel
could not do wrong. Going on in this manner, I
was already in my twelfth year without ever having
a master. It was high time ; but then he was to
teach me by fair means : he might threaten, but-
must not floj; Hxie. Tliis arrano^ement did me but
little good ; for sometimes I laughed when my tutor
scolded : at others, I ran with tears in my eyes to
my mother or my grandfather, and complained that
he had used me ill. The poor devil got notliing by
denying it. IVIy word was always taken before his,
and he came off with the character of a cruel rascal.
One day I scratched myself with my own nails, and
set up a howl as if I had been flogged. My mother
ran, and turned the master out of doors, though he
vowed and protested he had never lifted a finger
against me.

40 * G7L BLAS.

Thus did I get rid of all my tutors, till at last I
met with one to my mind. He was a bachelor of
Alcala. This was the master for a young man of
fashion. Women, wine, and gaming were his
principal amusements. It was impossible to be in
better hands. He hit the right nail on the head :
for he let me do what I pleased, and thus got into
the good gi'aces of the family, who abandoned me to
his conduct. They had no reason to repent. He
perfected me betimes in the knowledge of the world.
By dint of taking me about to all his haunts, he
gave such a finish to my education, that barring
literature and science, I became a universal scholar.
As soon as he saw that I could go alone in the high
road to ruin he went to qualify others for the same
journey.

During my childhood I had lived at home just as
I liked, and did not sufficiently consider, that now I
was beginning to be responsible for my own actions.
My father and mother were a standing jest. Yet
they were themselves thrown into convulsions at my
salHes ; and the more ridiculous they were made by
them, the more waggish they thought me. In the
mean time I got into all manner of scrapes with
some young fellows of my own kidney ; and, as oiu*
relations kept us rather too short of cash for the ex-
igencies of so loose a life, we each of us made free
with whatever we could lay our hands on in our own
families. Finding tliis would not raise the supplies,
we began to pick pockets in the streets at night. As
ill luck would have it, our exploits came to the

THE LIEUTENANTS HISTORY. 4X

knowledge of the police. A warrant was out against
us ; but some good-natured friend, thinking it a
pity we should be nipped in the bud, gave us a cau-
tion. We took to our heels, and rose in our voca-
tion to the rank of highwaymen. From that time
forth, gentlemen, with a blessing on my endeavors,
I have gone on till I am almost the father of the
profession, in spite of the dangers to which it is ex-
posed.

Here the captain ended, and it came to the turn
of the lieutenant. Gentlemen, extremes are said to
meet ; — and so it will appear from a comparison of
our commander's education and mine. My father
was a butcher at Toledo. He passed, with reason,
for the greatest brute in the town, and my mother's
sweet disposition was not mended by the example.
In my childhood, they whipped me in emulation of
one another ; I came in for a thousand lashes of a day I
The slightest fault was followed up by the severest
punishment. In vain did I beg for mercy with
tears in my eyes, and protest that I was sorry for
what I had done. They never excused me, and
nine times out of ten flogged me for nothing.
When I was under my father's lash, my mother,
not thinking his arm stout enough, lent her assist-
ance, instead of begging me off. The favors I re-
ceived at their hands gave me such a disgust, that I
quitted their house before I had completed my four-
teenth year, took the Arragon road, and begged my
way to Saragossa. There I associated with va-
grants, who led a merry lif^ enough. They taught

42 Gir, BLAS.

me to counterfeit blindness and lameness, to dress
up an artificial wound in each of my legs, and to
adopt many other methods of imposing on the
credulity of the charitable and humane. In the
morning, like actors at rehearsal, we cast our char-
acters, and settled the business of the comedy. We
had each our exits and our entrances ; till in the
evening the curtain dropped, and we regaled at
the expense of the dupes we had deluded in the
day. Wearied however with the company of these
wretches, and wishing to live in more worshipful
society, I entered into partnership with a gang of
sharpers. These fellows taught me some good
tricks : but Saracrossa soon became too hot to hold
us, after we had fallen out with a limb of the law,
who had hitherto taken us under his protection.
We each of us provided for ourselves, and left the
devil to take the hindmost. For my part, I enlisted
in a brave and veteran regiment, which had seen
abundance of service on the king's highway : and
I found myself so comfortable in their quarters, that
1 had no desire to change my birth. So that you see,
gentlemen, I was very much obliged to my relations
for their bad behavior ; for if they had treated me a
little more kindly, I might have been a blackguard
butcher at this moment, instead of having the honor
to be your lieutenant.

Gentlemen, — interrupted a hopeful young free-
booter who sat between the captain and the lieuten-
ant, — the stories we have just heard are neither so
complicated nor so curious as mine, I peeped into

THE FREEBOOTER'S STORY. 43

existence by means of a country-woman in the neigh-
borhood of Seville. Three weeks after she had set
me down in this system, a nurse-child was offered
her. You are to understand she was yet in her prime,
comely in her person, and had a good breast of milk.
The young suckling had noble blood in him, and
was an only son. My mother accepted the pro-
posal with all her heart, and went to fetch the child.
It was entrusted to her care. She had no sooner
brought it home, than, fancying a resemblance, she
conceived the idea of substituting me for the brat of
high birth, in the hope of drawing a handsome com-
mission at some future time for this motherly office
in behalf of her infant. My father, whose morals
were on a level with those of clodhoppers in general,
lent himself very willingly to the cheat : so that
with only a change of clouts, the son of Don Ro-
drigo de Herrera was packed off in my name to
another nurse, and my mother suckled her own and
her master's child at once in my little person.

They may say what they will of instinct and the
force of blood ! The little gentleman's parents were
very easily taken in. They had not the slightest
suspicion of the trick ; and were eternally dan-
dling me till I was seven years old. As it was
their intention to make me a finished gentleman,
they gave me masters of all kinds ; but I had very
little taste for their lessons, and above all, I detested
the sciences. I had at any time rather play with
the servants or the stable boys, and was a complete
kitchen genius. But tossing up for heads or tails

44 GIL BLAS.

was not my ruling passion. Before seventeen I had
an itch for getting drunk, I played the devil among
the chambermaids ; but my prime favorite was a
kitchen girl, who had infinite merit in my eyes.
She was a great bloated horse-god-mother, whose
good case and easy morals suited me exactly. I
boarded her with so little circumspection that Don
Rodrigo took notice of it. He took me to task
pretty sharply ; twitted me with my low taste ; and,
for fear the presence of my charmer should counter-
act his sage counsels, showed the goddess of my de-
votions the outside of the door.

This proceeding was rather offensive ; and I de-
termined to be even with him. I stole his wife's
jewels ; and ravishing my Helen from a laundress
of her acquaintance, went off with her in open day,
that the transaction might lose nothing in point of
notoriety. But this was not all. I carried her
among her relations, where I married her according
to the rites of the church, as much from the personal
motive of mortifying Herrera, as from the patriotic
enthusiasm of encouraging our young nobility to
mend the breed. Three months after marriage, I
heard that Don Rodrigo had gone the way of all
flesh. The intelligence was not lost upon me. I
was at Seville in a twinkling, to administer in due
form and order to his effects ; but the tables were
turned. My mother had paid the debt of nature,
and in her last agonies had been so much off her
guard as to confess the whole affair to the curate
of the village and other competent witnesses, Don

Address of the captain. 45

Rodrigo's son had already taken my place, or rather
his own, and his popularity was increased by the
deficiency of mine ; so that as the trumps were all
out in that hand, and I had no particular wish for
the present my wife was likely to make me, I joined
issue with some desperate blades, with whom I be-
gan my trading ventures.

The young cut-purse having finished his story,
another told us that he was the son of a merchant
at Burgos ; that, in his youth, prompted more by
piety than wit, he had taken the religious habit and
professed in a very strict order, and that a few years
afterwards he had apostatized. In short, the eight
robbers told their tale one after another, and when
I had heard them all, I did not wonder that the

destinies had brouo-ht them together. The con-
es o

versation now took a different turn. They brought
several schemes upon the carpet for the next cam-
paign ; and after having laid down their plan of
operations, rose from table and went to bed. They
lighted their night candles, and withdrew to their
apartments. I attended Captain Rolando to his.
While I was fiddling about him as he undressed :
Well ! Gil Bias, said he, you see how we live !
We are always merry ; hatred and envy have no
footing here ; we have not the least difference, but
hang together just like monks. You are sure, my
good lad, to lead a pleasant life here ; for I do not
think you are fool enough to make any bones about
consorting with gentlemen of the road. In what
does ours differ from many a more reputable trade ?

4^ &it BLAS.

Depend on it, my friend, all men love two hands in
their neighbor's purse, though only one in their own.
Men's principles are all alike ; the only difference
lies in the mode of carrying them into effect. Con-
querors, for instance, make free with the territories
of their neighbors. People of fashion borrow, and
do not pay. Bankers, treasurers, brokers, clerks,
and traders of all kinds, wholesale and retail, give
ample liberty to their wants to overdraw on their
consciences. I shall not mention the hano^ers-on
of the law ; we all know how it goes with them .
At the same time it must be allowed that they ha-se
more humanity than we have ; for as it is often our
vocation to take away the life of the innocent for
plunder, it is sometimes theirs for fee and reward
to save the guilty.

CHAPTER VI.

THE ATTEMPT OF GIL BIAS TO ESCAPE, AND ITS SUCCESS.

After the captain of the banditti had thus apol-
ogized for adopting such a line of life, he went to
bed. For my part, I returned to the hall, where I
cleared the table, and set every thing to rights.
Then I went to the kitchen, where Domingo, the
old negro, and dame Leonarda had been expecting
me at supper. Though entirely without appetite,
I had the good manners to sit down with them.

t)AM^ UoNARDA. it

Not a morsel could I eat ; and, as I scarcely felt
more miserable than I looked, this pair so justly
formed to meet by nature, undertook to give me
a little comfort. Why do you take on so, my good
lad ? said the old dowager : you ought rather to
bless your stars for your good luck. You are
young, and seem a little soft ; you would have a
fine kettle of fish of it in the busy world. You
might have fallen into bad hands, and then your
morals would have been corrupted ; whereas here
your innocence is insured to its full value. Dame
Leonarda is in the right, put in the old negro grave-
ly, the world is but a troublesome place. Be thank-
ful, my friend, for being so early relieved from the
dangers, the difficulties, and the afflictions of this
miserable life.

I bore this prosing very quietly, because I should
have got no good by putting myself in a passion
about it. At length Domingo, after playing a good
knife and fork, and getting gloriously muddled, took
himself off to the stable. Leonarda, by the glim-
mering of a lamp, showed me the way to a vault
which served as a last home to those of the corps
who died a natural death. Here I stumbled upon
something more like a grave than a bed. This is
your room, said she. Your predecessor lay here
as long as he was among us, and here he lies to
this day. He suffered himself to be hurried out
of life in his prime : do not you be so foolish as to
follow his example. With this kind advice, she left
me with the lamp for my companion and returned

4^ GiL SLAS.

to the kitchen. I threw myself on the little bed,
not so much for rest as meditation. O Heaven !
exclaimed I, was there ever a fate so dreadful as
mine ! It is determined then that I am to take my
leave of daylight ! Beside this, as if it was not
enough to be buried alive at eighteen, my misery
is to be aggravated by being in the service of a ban-
ditti ; by passing the day with highwaymen, and the
night in a charnel-house. These reflections, which
seemed to me very dismal, and were indeed no better
than they seemed, set me crying most bitterly. I
could not conceive what cursed maggot my uncle
had got in his head to send me^ to Salamanca ; re-
pented running away from Cacabelos, and would
have compounded for the torture. But, considering
how vain it was to shut the door when the steed was
stolen, I determined, instead of lamenting the past,
to hit upon some expedient for making my escape.
What ! thought I, is it impossible to get off? The
cut-throats are asleep ; cooky and the black will be
snoring ere long. Why cannot I, by the help of
this lamp, find the passage by which I descended
into these infernal regions ? I am afraid indeed my
strength is not equal to lifting the trap at the en-
trance. However, let us see. Faint heart never
won fair lady. Despair will lend me new force,
and who knows but I may succeed?

Thus was the train laid for a grand attempt. I
got up, as soon as Leonarda and Domingo were
likely to be asleep. With the lamp in my hand, I
stole out of the vault, putting up my prayers to all

PAILS W HtS ATTEMPT To ESCAPE. 49

the spirits in paradise, and ten miles round. It was
with no small difficulty that I threaded all the wind-
ings of this new labyrinth. At length I found my-
self at the stable door, and perceived the passage
which was the object of my search. Pushing on I
made my way towards the trap with a light pair of
heels and a beating heart : but, alas ! in the middle
of my career I ran against a cursed iron grate locked
fast, with bars so close as not to admit a hand be-
tween them. I looked rather foolish at the occur-
rence of this new difficulty, which I had not been
aware of at my entrance, because the grate was then
open. However, I tried what I could do by fum*
bling at the bars. Then for a peep at the lock ; or
whether it could not be forced ! When all at once
my poor shoulders were saluted with five or six good
strokes of a bull's pizzle. I set up such a shrill
alarum, that the den of Cacus rang with it ; when
looking round, who should it be but the old negro
in his shirt, holding a dark lanthorn in one hand,
and the instrument of my punishment in the other.
O, O ! quoth he, my merry little fellow, you will
run away, will you? No, no ! you must not think
to set your wits against mine. I heard you all the
while. You thought you should find the grate
open, did not you? You may take it for granted,
my friend, that henceforth it will always be shut.
When we keep any one here against his will, he
must be a cleverer fellow than you to make his
escape.

In the mean time, at the howl I had set up, two

VOL. I. 4

50 GtL BIAS.

or three of the robbers waked suddenly ; and not
knowing but the holy brotherhood might be falling
upon them, they got up and called their comrades.
Without the loss of a moment all were on the alert.
Swords and carbines were put in requisition, and the
whole posse advanced forward almost in a state of
nature to the place where I was parleying with Do-
mingo. But as soon as they learned the cause of
the uproar, their alarm resolved itself into a peal of
laughter. How now, Gil Bias, said the apostate
son of the church, you have not been a good six
hours with us, and are you tired of our company
already? You must have a great objection to re-
tirement. Why, what would you do if you were
a Carthusian friar ! Get along with you, and go to
bed. This time you shall get off with Domingo's
discipline ; but if you are ever caught in a second
attempt of the same kind, by Saint Bartholomew !
we will flay you alive. With this hint he retired,
and the rest of the party went back to their rooms.
The old negro, taking credit to himself for his vigi-
lance, returned to his stable : and I found my way
back to my charnel-house, where I passed the re-
mainder of the night in weeping and wailing.

tMLi^Gs AnH Aims. 5i

CHAPTER VIL

OIL BLAS, NOT BEING ABLE TO DO WHAT BE LiKBS, t>0S3
WHAT HE CAN.

For the first few days, I thought I should have
given up the ghost for very spite and vexation.
The Ungering life I led was nearly akin to death
itself; but in the end my good genius whispered
me to play the hypocrite. I aimed at looking a
little more cheerful ; began to laugh and sing,
though it was sometimes on the wrong side of my
mouth ; in a word, I put so good a face on the
matter, that Leonarda and Domingo were com-
pletely taken in. They thought the bird was rec-
onciled to his cage. The robbers entertained the
same notion. I looked as brisk as the beverage I
poured out, and put in my oar whenever I thought
I could say a good thing. My freedom, far from
offending, was taken in good part. Gil Bias, quoth
the captain one evening, while I was playing the
buffoon, you have done well, my friend, to banish
melancholy. I am delighted with your wit and
humor. Some people wear a mask at first ac-
quaintance ; I had no notion what a jovial fellow
you were.

My praises now seemed to run from mouth to
mouth. They were all so partial to me, that, not
to miss my opportunity ; — Gentlemen, quoth I,
allow me to tell you a piece of my mind. Since

'52 ^iL BLAS.

1 have been yoiif guest, a new light breaks in upoll
me. I have bid adieu to vulgar prejudices, and
caught a ray at the fountain of your illumination.
I feel that I was born to be your knight companion.
I languish to make one among you, and will stand
my chance of a halter with the best. All the com-
pany cried Hear ! — I was considered as a prom-
ising member of the senate. It was tlien deter-
mined unanimously to give me a trial in some
inferior department ; afterwards to bespeak me a
good desperate encounter in which I might show
my prowess ; and if I answered expectation to give
me a high and responsible employment in the com-
monwealth.

It was necessary therefore to go on exhibiting a
copy of my countenance, and doing my best in my
office of cup-bearer. I was impatient beyond meas-
ure ; for I only aspired after the honors of the sit-
ting, to obtain the liberty of going abroad with the
rest ; and I was in hopes that by running the risk
of getting my neck into one noose I might get it
out of another. This was my only chance. The
time nevertheless seemed long to wait, and I kept
my eye on Domingo, with the hope of outwitting
him : but the thing was not feasible ; he was always
on the watch. Orpheus as leader of the band, with
a complete orchestra of performers as good as him-
self, could not have soothed the savage breast of this
Cerberus. The truth is, by the by, that for fear of
exciting his suspicion, I did not set my wits against
him so much as I might have done. He was on the

ADMITTED TO THE GANG. 53

lookout, and I was obliged to play the pnide, or
my virtue might have come into disgrace. I there-
fore stopped proceedings till the time of my proba-
tion should expire, to which I looked forward with
impatience, just as if I was waiting for a place un-
der government.

Heaven be praised, in about six months I gained
my end. The commandant Rolando addressing his
regiment, said : Comrades, we must stand upon
honor with Gil Bias. I have no bad opinion of
our young candidate ; we shall make something of
him. If you will take my advice, let him go and
reap his first harvest with us to-morrow on the
king's highway. We will lead him on in the path
of honor. The robbers applauded the sentiments
of the captain with a thunder of acclamation ; and
to show me how much I was considered as one of the
gang, from that moment they dispensed with my
attendance at the sideboard. Dame Leonarda was
reinstated in the office from which she had been dis-
charged to make room for me. They made me
change my dress, which consisted in a plain short
cossack a good deal the worse for wear, and tricked
me out in the spoils of a gentleman lately robbed.
After this inauguration, I made my arrangement.^
for my first campaign.

54 GIL BLAS

CHAPTER nil.

OIL BLAS aOES OUT WITH THE OANO, AND PERFORMS AV
EXPLOIT ON THE HIGHWAY.

It was past midnight in the month of September,
when I issued from the subterraneous abode as one
of the fraternity. I was armed, hke them, with a
carabine, two pistols, a sword and a bayonet, and
was mounted on a very good horse, the property
of the gentleman in whose costume I appeared. I
had lived so long like a mole under ground, that the
daybreak could not fail of dazzling me : but my
eyes got reconciled to it by degrees.

We passed close by Pontferrada, and were deter-
mined to lie in ambush behind a small wood skirting
the road to Leon. There we were waiting for what-
ever fortune might please to throw in our way, when
we espied a Dominican friar, mounted, contrary to
the rubric of those pious fathers, on a shabby mule.
God be praised, exclaimed the captain with a sneer,
this is a noble beginning for Gil Bias. Let him go
and trounce that monk : we will bear witness to his
qualifications. The connoisseurs were all of opinion
that this commission suited my talents to a hair, and
exhorted me to do my bestn Gentlemen, quoth I,
you shall have no reason to complain. I will strip
this holy father to his birthday suit, and give you
complete right and title to his mule. No, no, said
Rolando, the beast would not be worth its fodder ;

GOES OUT WITH THE GANG. 55

only bring us our reverend pastor's purse ; that is
all we require. Hereupon I issued from the wood
and pushed up to the man of God, doing penance
all the time in my own breast for the sin I was com-
mitting. I could have liked to have turned my back
upon my fellows at that moment ; but most of them
had the advantage of better horses than mine : had
they seen me making off, they would have been at
my heels, and would soon have caught me, or per-
haps would have fired a volley, for which I was not
sufficiently case-hardened. I could not therefore
venture on so perilous an alternative ; so that
claiming acquaintance with the reverend father, I
asked to look at his purse, and just put out the
end of a pistol. He stopped short to gaze upon
me ; and, without seeming much frightened, said,
My child, you are very young ; this is an early
apprenticeship to a bad trade. Father, replied I,
bad as it is, I wisli I had begun it sooner. What !
my son, rejoined the good friar, who did not under-
stand the real meaning of what I said, how say you?
What blindness ! give me leave to place before your
eyes the unhappy condition. Come, come, father I
interrupted I with impatience, a truce to your mo-
rality, if you please. My business on the high road
is not to hear sermons. Money makes my mare to
go. Money ! said he, with a look of siu'prise ; you
have a poor opinion of Spanish charity, if you tliink
.that people of my stamp have any occasion for such
trash upon their travels. Let me undeceive you.
We are made welcome wherever we go, and pay fgr

56 GIL BLAS.

our board and lodgings by our prayers. In short, we
carry no cash with us on the road ; but draw drafts
upon Providence. That is all very well, replied I ;
yet for fear your drafts should be dishonored, you
take care to keep about you a little supply for pres-
ent need. But come, father, let us make an end :
my comrades in the wood are in a hurry ; so your
money or your life. At these words, which I pro-
nounced Mdth a determined air, the friar began to
think the business grew serious. Since needs must,
said he, there is wherewithal to satisfy your craving.
A word and a blow is the only rhetoric with you
gentlemen. As he said this, he drew a large
leathern purse from under his gown, and threw it
on the ground. I then told him he might make the
best of his way : and he did not wait for a second
bidding, but stuck his heels into the mule, which,
giving the lie to my opinion, for I thought it on a
par with my uncle's, set off at a good round pace.
While he was riding for his life, I dismounted.
The purse was none of the lightest. I mounted
again, and got back to the wood, where those nice
observers were waiting with impatience to congratu-
late me on my success. I could hardly get my foot
out of the stirrup, so eager were they to shake
hands with me. Com-age, Gil Bias, said Rolando ;
you have done wonders. I have had my eyes
on you during your whole performance, and have
watched your countenance. I have no hesitation,
in predicting that you will become in time a very
^compUshed highwayman. The lieutenant and the

APPLAUDED BY THE ROBBERS. 57

rest chimed in with the prophecy, and assured me
that I could not fail of fulfilling it hereafter. I
thanked them for the elevated idea they had formed
of my talents, and promised to do all in my power
not to discredit their penetration.

After they had lavished praises, the effect rather
of their candor than of my merit, they took it into
their heads to examine the booty I had brought under
my convoy. Let us see, said they, let us see how a
friar's purse is lined. It should be fat and flourish-
ing, continued one of them, for these good fa'thers
do not mortify the flesh when they travel. The
captain untied the purse, opened it, and took out
two or three handfuls of little copper coins, an
Agnus-Dei here and there, and some scapularies.
At sight of so novel a prize, all the privates burst
into an immoderate fit of laughter. God be praised !
cried the lieutenant, we are very much obliged to
Gil Bias : his first attack has produced a supply,
very seasonable to our fraternity. One joke brought
on another. These rascals, especially the fellow
who had retired from the church to our subterraneous
hermitage, began to make themselves merry on the
subject. They said a thousand good things, such as
showed at once the sharpness of their wits and the
profligacy of their morals. They were all on the
broad grin except myself. It was impossible to be
butt and marksman too. They each of them shot
their bolt at me, and the captain said : Faith, Gil
Bias, I would advise you as a friend not to set your
wit ^ second time against the church : the biter may

58 GIL BLAS.

be bit ; for you must live some time longer among
us, before you are a match for them.

CHAPTER IX.

A MORE SERIOUS INCIDENT.

We lounged about the wood for the greater part
of tKe day, without lighting on any traveller to pay
toll for the friar. At length we were beginning to
wear our homeward way, as if confining the feats of
the day to this laughable adventure, which furnished
a plentiful fund of conversation, when we got intel-
ligence of a carriage on the road drawn by four
mules. They were coming at a hard gallop, with
three outriders, who seemed to be well armed.
Rolando ordered the troop to halt, and hold a coun-
cil, the result of whose deliberations was to attack
the enemy. We were regularly drawn up in battle
array, and marched to meet the caravan. In spite
of the applause I had gained in the wood, I felt an
oozing sort of a tremor come over me, with a chill
in my veins and a chattering in my teeth that seemed
to bode me no good. As it never rains but it pours,
I was in the front of the battle, hemmed in between
the captain and the lieutenant, who had given me
that post of honor, that I might lose no time in
learning to stand fire. Rolando, observing the
low ebb of my animal spirits, looked askew at me,

A SERIOUS ADVENTURE. 59

and muttered in a tone more resolute than courtly :
Hark ye ! Gil Bias, look sharp about you ! I give
you fair notice, that if you play the recreant, I shall
lodge a couple of bullets in your brain. I believed
him as firmly as my catechism, and thought it high
time not to neglect the hint ; so that I was obliged
to lay an embargo on the expression of my fears,
and to think only of recommending my soul to God
in silence.

WhUe all this was going on, the carriage and
horsemen drew near. They suspected what sort of
gentry we were ; and guessing our trade by our
badge, stopped within gun-shot. They had car-
abines and pistols as well as ourselves. While they
were preparing to give us a brisk reception, there
jumped out of the coach a well-looking gentleman
richly dressed. He mounted a led horse, and put
himself at the head of his party. Though they were
but four against nine, for the coachman kept his seat
on the box, they advanced towards us with a con-
fidence calculated to redouble my terror. Yet I did
not forget, though trembling in every joint, to hold
myself in readiness for a shot : but, to give a candid
relation of the affair, I blinked and looked the other
way in letting off my piece ; so that from the harm-
lessness of ray fire, I was sure not to have murder
to answer for in another world.

I shall not give the particulars of the engagement ;
though present, I was no eye-witness ; and my fear,
while it laid hold of my imagination, drew a veil
pver the anticipated horror of the sight, All I know

60 G/L BLAS.

about the matter is, that after a grand discharge of
musketry, I heard my companions liallooing Vic-
tory ! Victory ! as if their lungs were made of
leather. At this shout the terror which had made a
forcible entry on my senses was ejected, and I belield
the four horsemen stretched lifeless on the field of
battle. On our side, we had only one man killed.
This was the renegade parson, who had now filled
the measure of his apostasy, and paid for jesting
with scapularies and such sacred things. The lieu-
tenant received a slight wound in the arm ; but tlic
bullet did little more than ofraze the skin.

Master Rolando was the first at the coach-door.
Within was a lady of from four to five-and-twenty,
beautiful as an angel in his eyes, in spite of her sad
condition. She had fainted during the conflict, and
her swoon still continued. While he was fixed like
a statue on her charms, the rest of us were in pro-
found meditation on the plunder. We began by
securing the horses of the defunct ; for these animals ,
frightened at the report of our pieces, had got to a
little distance, after the loss of their riders. For
the mules, they had not wagged a hair, though the
coachman had jumped from his box during the
engagement to make his escape. We dismounted
for the purpose of unharnessing and loading them
with some trunks tied before and behind the carriage.
This settled, the captain ordered the lady, who had
not yet recovered her faculties, to be set on horse-
back before the best mounted of the robbers ; then,
Jeaving the carriage and the uncased carcasses b^ th§

TaS LAbY*S TREATMENT. gl

foadside, we carried off with us the lady, the mules,
and the horses.

n»+«

CHAPTER X

THU LADY'S TREATUEyX FROM THE ROBBERS. THE EVENT
OF TUE GREAT DESIGN, CONCEIVED BY GIL BLAS.

The night had another hour to run, when we
arrived at our subterraneous mansion. The first
thing we did was to lead our cavalry to the stable,
where we were obliged to groom them ourselves, as
the old negro had been confined to his bed for three
days, with a violent fit of the gout, and a universal
rheumatism. He had no member supple but his
tongue ; and that he employed in testifying his in-
dignation by the most horrible impieties. Leaving
this wretch to curse and swear by himself, we went
to the kitchen to look after the lady. So successful
were our attentions, that we succeeded in recovering
her from her fit. But when she had once more the
use of her senses, and saw herself encompassed by
strangers, she knew the extent of her misfortune,
and shuddered at the thoug^ht. All that (jrief and
despair togetlier could present, of images the most
distressing, appeared depicted in her eyes, which
she lifted up to Heaven, as if in reproach for the
indignities she was threatened with. Then, giving
way at once to these dreadfid apprehensions, she fell
again into a swoon, her eyeUds closed once more,

62 6/i MAS.

and the robbers thought that death was going id
snatch from them their prey. The captain, there-
fore, judging it more to the purpose to leave her to
herself than to torment her with any more of their
assistance, ordered her to be laid on Leonarda's bed,
and at all events to let nature take its course.

We went into the hall, where one of the robbers,
who had been bred a surgeon, looked at the lieu-
tenant's arm and put a plaster to it. After this
scientific operation, it was thought expedient to ex-
amine the baggage. Some of the trunks were filled
with laces and linen, others with various articles of
wearing apparel : but the last contained some bags
of coin ; a circumstance highly approved by the
receivers-general of the estate. After this investi-
gation, the cook set out the sideboard, laid the cloth,
and served up supper. Our conversation ran first
on the great victory we had achieved. On this sub-
ject, said Rolando, directing himself to me, confess
the truth, Gil Bias : you cannot deny that you were
devilishly frightened. I candidly admitted the fact ;
but promised to fight like a crusader, after my
second or third campaign. Hereupon all the com-
pany took my part, alleging the sharpness of the
action in my excuse, and that it was very well for a
novice, not yet accustomed to the smell of powder.

We next talked of the mules and horses just added
to our subterraneous stud. It was determined to set
off the next morning before daybreak, and sell them
at Mansilla, before there was any chance of our ex-
pedition having got wind. This resolution taken,

PLANS Fon Escape. ^3

We finished our supper, and returned to the kitchen
to pay our respects to the lady. We found her in
the same condition. Nevertheless, though the dregs
of life seemed almost exhausted, some of these
poachers could not help casting a wicked leer at her,
and giving visible signs of a motion within them,
which would have broken out into overt act, hatl not
Rolando put a spoke in their wheel, by representing
that they ought at least to wait till the lady had got
rid of her terrors and squeamishness, and could come
in for her share of the amusement. Their respect
for the captain operated as a check to the inconti-
nence of their passions. Nothing else could have
saved the lady ; nor would death itself probably have
secured her from violation.

Again therefore did we leave this unhappy female
to her melancholy fate. Rolando contented himself
with charging Leonarda to take care of her, and we
all separated for the night. For my part, when I
went to bed, instead of courting sleep, my thoughts
were wholly taken up with the lady's misfortunes.
I had no doubt of her being a woman of quality,
and thought her lot on that account so much the
more piteous. I could not paint to myself, without
shuddering, the horrors which awaited her ; and felt
myself as sensibly affected by them, as if united to
her by the ties of blood or friendship. At length,
after having sufficiently bewailed her destiny, I
mused on the means of preserving her honor from
its present danger, and myself from a longer abode
in this dungeon. I considered that the old negro

64 6*;£ BIAS.

could not stir, and recollected that since his illnes§
the cook had the key of the grate. That thought
warmed my fancy, and gave birth to a project not to
be hazarded lightly : the stages of its execution were
the following : —

I pretended to have the colic. A lad in the
colic cannot help whining and groaning ; but I
went further, and cried out lustily, as loud as my
lungs would let me. This roused my gentle friends,
and brought them about me, to know what the
deuce was the matter. I informed them that I had
a swinging fit of the gripes, and to humor the idea,
gnashed my teeth, made all manner of wry faces till
I looked like a bedlamite, and twisted my limbs as
if I had been going to be delivered of a heathen
oracle. Then I became calm all at once, as if my
pains had abated. The next minute, I flounced up
and down upon my bed, and threw my arms about
at random. In a word, I played my part so well,
that these more experienced performers, knowing as
they were, suffered themselves to be thrown off their
guard, and to believe that my malady was real. All
at once did they busy themselves for my relief. One
brought me a bottle of brandy, and forced me to
gulp down half of it ; another, in spite of my re-
monstrances, applied oil of sweet almonds in a very
offensive manner : a third went and made a napkin
burning hot, to be clapped upon my stomach. In
vain did I cry mercy ; they attributed my noise to
the violence of my disorder, and went on inflicting
positive evil by way of remedy for that which was

PLANS FOR ESCAPE. Q^

artificial. At last, able to bear it no longer, I was
oblijjed to swear that I was better, and entreat them
to give me quarter. They left off killing me with
kindness, and I took care not to complain any more,
for fear of experiencing their tender attentions a
second time.

This scene lasted nearly three hours. After which
the robbers, calculating it to be near daybreak, pre-
pared for their journey to Mansilla. I was for
getting up, as if I had set my heart on being of the
party ; but that they would not allow. No, no,
Gil Bias, said Signer Rolando, stay here, my lad :
your colic may return. You shall go with us
another time ; to-day you are not in tra^■elling con-
dition. I did not think it prudent to urge my
attendance too much, for fear of being taken at my
word ; but only affected great disappointment, with
so natural an air, that they all went off without the
slightest misfnvinj; of my design. After their de-
parture, for which I had prayed most fervently, I
said to myself: Now is your time, Gil Bias, to be
firm and resolved. Arm yourself Avith courage to
go through with an enterprise so propitiously begun.
Domingo is tied by the leg, and Leonarda may show
her teeth, but she cannot bite. Pounce down upon
opportunity while it offers ; you may wait long
enough for another. Thus did I spirit myself up in
soliloquy. Having got out of bed, I laid hold of
my sword and pistols ; and away I went to the
kitchen. But before I made my appearance, I
stopped to hear what Leonarda was talking about to

gg GIL BIAS.

the fair incognita who was come to her senses, and
on a view of her misfortune in its extremity, took on
most desperately. That is right, my girl, said the
old hag, cry your eyes out, sob away plentifully,
you know the good effect of woman's tears. The
sudden shock was too much for you : but the danger
is over, now the engines can play. Your grief will
abate by little and little, and you will get reconciled
to living with our gentlemen, who are very good
sort of people. You will be better off than a prin-
cess. You do not know how fond they will be of
you. Not a day will pass without your being
obliged to some of them. Many a woman would
give one of her eyes to be in your place.

I did not allow Leonai-da time to go on any
longer with this babbling. In I went, and putting
a pistol to her breast, insisted with a menacing air
on her delivering up the key of the grate. She did
not know what to make of my behavior ; and,
thoucjh almost in the last stage of life, had such a
propensity to linger on the road, as not to venture on
a refusal. With the key in my hand, I directed the
following speech to the distressed object of my com-
passion : Madam, Heaven sends you a deliverer in
me ; follow, and I will see you safe whithersoever
you wish to be conducted. The lady was not deaf
to my proposal, which made such an impression
on her grateful heart, that she jumped up with all
the strength she had left, threw herself at my feet,
and conjured me to save her honor. I raised her
from the ground, and assured her she might rely on

!tM£ LADf-'S ESCAPE. (57

me. I then took some ropes which were oppor-
timely in the kitchen, and with her assistance tied
Leonarda to the legs of a large table, protesting
that I would kill her if she only breathed a murmur.
After that, lighting a candle, I went with the incog-
nita to the treasury, where I filled my pockets with
pistoles, single and double, as ftill as they could
hold. To encourage the lady not to be scrupulous,
I begged she would think herself at home, and make
free with her own. With our finances thus recruit-
ed, we went towards the stable, where I marched in
with my pistols cocked. I was of opinion that the
old blackamoor, for all his gout and rheumatism,
would not let me saddle and bridle my horse peace-
ably, and my resolution was to put the finishing
hand to all his ailments, if he took it into his head
to play the churl : but, by good luck, he was at that
moment in such pain, that I stole the steed without
his perceiving that the door was open. The lady in
the mean time was waiting for me. We were not
long in threading the passage leading to the outlet ;
but reached the grate, opened it, and at last got to
the trap. Much ado there was to lift it, which we
could not have done, but for the new strength we
borrowed from .the hopes of our escape.

Day was beginning to dawn when we emerged
from that abyss. Our first object was to get as far
from it as possible. I jumped into the saddle : the
lady got up behind me, and taking the first path that
offered, we soon galloped out of the forest. Coming
to some cross-roads, we took our chance. I trembled

(5^ GIL blAs.

for fear of its leading to Mansilla, and our encountei'-
ing Rolando and liis comrades. Luckily ray ap-
prehensions were unfounded. We got to Astorga
by two o'clock in the afternoon. The people looked
at us as if they had never seen such a sight before,
as a woman riding behind a man. "We alighted at
the first inn. I immediately ordered a partridge and
a young rabbit to the spit. While my orders were
in a train of execution, the lady was shown to a
room, where we began to scrape acquaintance with
one another ; which we had not done on the road,
on account of the speed we made. She expressed a
liigh sense of my services, and told me that after so
gentlemanly a conduct, she could not allow herself
to think me one of the gang from whom I had
rescued her. I told her my story, to confirm her
good opinion. By these means, I entitled myself
to her confidence, and to the knowledge of her mis-
fortunes, which she recounted to the following eflfect.

•+«+•

CHAPTER XL

THE HISTORY OF DONNA MENCIA DE MOSQUERA.

I

I WAS born at Valladolid, and am called Donna
Mencia de Mosquera. My father, Don Martin,
after spending most of his family estate in the service,
was killed in Portuo;al at the head of his rejjiment.
He left me so little ^Jroperty, that I was a bad match,

THE LADY'S HISTORY. 69

though an only daughter. I was not, however,
without my admirers, notwithstanding the mediocri-
ty of my fortune. Several of the most considerable
cavaliers in S})ain sought me in marriage. My
favorite was Don Alvar de Mello. It is true he
liad a prettier person than his rivals ; but more solid
qualities determined me in his favor. He had wit,
discretion, valor, probity ; and in addition to all
these, an air of fashion. A^'as an entertainment to
be given? His taste was sure to be displayed. If
he appeared in the lists, he always fixed the eyes of
the beholders on his strength and dexterity. I

sinjrled him out from amonj^ all the rest, and mar-
in O '

ricd him.

A few days after our nuptials, he met Don
Andrew de Baesa, who had been his rival, in a
private place. They attacked one another sword in
hand, and Don Andrew fell. As he was nephew to
the corregidor of Valladolid, a turbulent man, vio-
lently incensed against the house of Mello, Don
Alvar thought he could not soon enough make his
escape. He returned home s[)eedily, and told me
what had happened while his horse was getting
ready. ]My dear jNIencia, said he at length, we must
part. You know the corregidor : let us not flatter
ourselves ; he will himt me even to death. You are
unacquainted with his iniluence ; this empire will be
too hot to hold me. He was so penetrated by his
own gi'icf and mine, as not to be able to articulate
further. I made him take some cash , and jewels :
then he folded me in liis arms, and we did nothing

70 GIL BLAS.

but mingle our sighs and tears for a quarter of an
hour. In a short time the horse was at the door.
He tore himself from me, and left me in a condition
not easily to be expressed. It had been well if the
excess of my affliction had destroyed me ! How
much pain and trouble might I have escaped by
death ! Some hours after Don Alvar was gone, the
cori'egidor became acquainted with his flight. He
set up a hue and cry after him, sparing no pains to
get him into his power. My husband, however,
eluded his pursuit, and got into safe quarters ; so
that the judge, finding himself reduced to confine his
vengeance to the poor satisfaction of confiscating,
where he meant to execute, labored to good purpose
in his vocation. Don Alvar's little property all went
to the hammer.

I remained in a very comfortless situation, with
scarcely the means of subsistence. A retired life
was best suited to my circumstances, with a single
female servant. I passed my hours in lamenting,
not an indigence, which I bore patiently, but the
absence of a beloved husband, of whom I received
no accounts. He had indeed pledged himself, in the
melancholy moments of our parting, to be pimctual
in acquainting me with his destiny, to whatever part
of the world his evil star might conduct liim. And
yet seven years rolled on without my licaring of
him. My suspense respecting his fiite afflicted me
most deeply. At last I heard of his falling in bat-
tle, under the Portuguese banner, in the kingdom of
Fez, A man newly returned from Africa brought

THE LADY'S HISTORY. 71

me the account, with the assurance that he had been
well acquainted with Don Alvar de Mello ; had
served with him in the army, and had seen him drop
in the action. To this narrati\e of facts he added
several collateral cu-cumstances, which left me no
room to doubt of my husband's premature death.

About this time, Don Ambrosio IMesia Carrillo,
Marquis de la Guardia, arrived at Valladolid. He
was one of those elderly noblemen who, with that
good breeding acquired by long experience in comts,
throw then* years into the background, and retain
the faculty of making themselves agreeable to our
sex. One day, he happened by accident to hear the
story of Don Alvar ; and, from the part I bore in it
and the description of my person, there arose a desire
of being better acquainted. To satisfy his curiosity,
he made intercut with one of my relations to invite
me to her house. The gentleman was one of the
party. This first iuter\iew made not the less im-
pression on his heart, for the traces of sorrow which
were too obvious on my countenance. He was
touched by its melancholy and languishing expres-
sion, which gave him a favorable forecast of my
constancy. Respect, rather than any warmer senti-
ment, might perhaps be the inspircr of liis wishes.
For he told me more than once what a miracle of
good faith he considered me, and my husband's fate
as enviable in this respect, however lamentable in
others. In a word, he was struck with me at first
sight, and did not wait for a review of my preten-
sions, but at once took the resolution of making mo
his wife.

f2 GIL BLAS,

The intervention of my kinswoman was adopted
as the means of inducing me to accept his proposal.
She paid me a visit ; and in the course of conversa-
tion, pleaded, that as my husband had submitted to
the decree of Providence in the kingdom of Fez, ac-
cording to very credible accounts, it was no longer
rational to coop up my charms. I had shed tears
enough over a man to whom I had been united but
for a few moments as it were, and I ought to avail
myself of the present offer, and had nothing to do
but to step into happiness at once. In furtherance
of these arguments, she set forth the old marquis's
pedigree, his wealth, and high character : but in
vain did her eloquence expatiate on his endowments,
for I was not to be moved. Not that my mind mis-
gave me respecting Don Alvar's death, nor that the
apprehension of his sudden and unwelcome appear-
ance hereafter, checked my inclinations. My little
liking, or rather my extreme repugnance to a second
marriage, after the sad issue of the first, was the sole
obstacle opposed to my relation's urgency. Neither
was she disheartened : on the contrary, her zeal for
Don Ambrosio resorted to endless stratagems. All
my family were pressed into the old lord's service.
So beneficial a match was not to be trifled with !
They were eternally besetting, dunning, and tor-
menting me. In fact, my despondency, which
increased from day to day, contributed not a little
to my yielding.

As there was no getting rid of him, I gave way
(0 tlicir eager suit, and was wedded to the Marc^^uia

THE LADY'S HISTORY. 73

de la Guardia. The day after the nuptials, we went
to a very fine castle of his near Burgos, between
Grajal and Rodillas. He conceived a violent love
for rae : the desire of pleasing was visible in all his
actions : the anticipation of my slenderest wishes was
his earliest and his latest study. No husband ever
regarded his wife more tenderly, no lover could pour
forth more devotion to his mistress. Nor would it
have been possible for me to steel my heart against
a return of passion, though our ages were so dispro-
portioned, had not every soft sentiment been buried
in Don Alvar's grave. But the avenues of a con-
stant heart are barred against a second inmate.
The memory of my first husband threw a damp on
all the kind efforts of the second. Mere gratitude
was a cold retribution for such tenderness ; but it
was all I had to give.

Such was my temper of mind, when, taking the
air one day at a window in my apartment, I per-
ceived a peasant-looking man in the garden, viewing
me with fixed attention. He ajipeared to be a com-
mon laborer. The cu'cumstance soon passed out of
my thoughts ; but the next day, ha\-ing again taken
my station at the window, I saw him on the self-same
spot, and again found myself the object of his eager
gaze. This seemed strange ! I looked at him in
my turn ; and, after an attentive scrutiny, thought
I could trace the features of the unhappy Don Alvar.
This seeming visit from the tombs roused all the
dormant agony of my soul, and extorted from me
a, piercing scream. Happily, I was thei\ alone yf\X\{

74 GIL BLAS.

Ines, who of all my women engaged the largest
share of mj confidence. I told her what surmise
had so agitated my spirits. She only laughed at
the idea, and took it for granted that a slight re-
semblance had imposed on my fancy. Take cour-
age, madam, said she, and do not be afraid of seeing
your first husband. What likelihood is there of his
being here in the disguise of a peasant ? Is it even
within the reach of credibility that he is still alive ?
However, I will go down into the garden and talk with
this rustic. I will answer for finding out who he is,
and will return in all possible haste with my intelli-
gence. Ines ran on her errand like a lapwing ; but
soon returned to my apartment with a face of min-
gled astonishment and emotion. Madam, exclaimed
she, your conjecture is but too well grounded ; it is
indeed Don Alvar whom you have seen ; he made
himself known at once, and pleads for a private in-
terview.

As I had the means of admitting Don Alvar
instantaneously, by the absence of the Marquis at
Burgos, I commissioned mv waitinjj-maid to intro-
duce him into my closet by a private staircase.
Well may you imagine the hurry and agitation of
my spirits. How could I support the presence of
a man, who was entitled to overwhelm me with re-
proaches? I fainted at his very foot-fall as he en-
tered. They were about me in a moment ; — he as
tvell as Ines ; and when they had recovered me from
my swoon, Don Alvar said — Madam, for Heaven's
eake compose yourselfi My presence shall never be

THE LADY'S HISTORY. 75

the cause of pain to you ; nor would I for the world
expose you to the slightest anxiety. I am no sav-
age husband, come to account with you for a sacred
pledge ; nor do I impute to criminal motives the
second contract you have formed. I am well aware
that it was owing to the importunity of yom' friends ;
your persecutions from that quarter are not unknown
to me. Besides, the report of my death was current
in Yalladolid ; and you had so much the more rea-
son to give it credit, as no letter from me gave you
any assurance to the contrary. In short, I am no
stranger to your habits of life since our cruel sepa-
ration ; and know that necessity, not lightness of
lieart, has thro^\^l you into the amis. . . . Ah ! sir,
interrupted I with sobs, Avhy will you make excuses
for your unworthy wife ? She is guUty, since you
survive. Why am I not still in the forlorn state, in
which I languished before my marriage with Don
Ambrosio? Fatal nuptials! — alas! but for these,
I should at least have had the consolation in my
wretchedness of seeing the object of my first vows
again without a blush.

My dear Mencia, replied Don Alvar, with a look
which marked how deeply he was penetrated by my
contrition, I make no complaint of you ; and far
from iipbraiding you with your present prosperity,
as heaven is my witness, I return it thanks for the
favors it has showered on you. Since the sad day
of my departure from Valladolid, my o^vn fate has
ever been adverse. My life haa been but a tissue
of misfortune ; and, as a surcharge of evil destiny, I

75 GIL BLAS.

had no means of letting you hear from me. Too se-
cm-e in yom* affection, I could neither think nor dream
but of the condition to which my fatal love might
have reduced you. Donna Mencia in tears vras the
lovely, but killing spectre that haunted me ; of aU
my miseries, your dear idea was the most acute.
Sometimes, I own, I felt remorse for the transport-
ing crime of having pleased you, I wished you had
lent an ear to the suit of some happier rival, since
the preference with which you had honored me was
to fall so crueUy on your own head. To cut short
my melancholy tale — after seven years of suffering,
more enamored than ever, I determined to see
you once again. The impulse was not to be re-
sisted ; and the expiration of a long slavery having
furnished me with the power of giving way to it, I
have been at Valladolid under this disguise at the
hazard of a discovery. There, I learned the whole
story. I then came to tliis castle, and found the
means of admission into the gardener's service, who
has engaged me as a laborer. Such was my strat-
agem to obtain this private interview. But do not
suppose me capable of blasting, by my continuance
here, the happiness of your future days. I love you
better than my own life ; I have no consideration but
for your repose ; and it is my purpose, after thus
unburdening my heart, to finish in exile the sacri-
fice of an existence, which has lost its value since
no longer to be devoted to your service.

No, Don Alvar, no, exclaimed I at these words ;
yoii shall never quit me a second tiniQ, I wiU bes

TtiS LADY'S HISTORY. ff

the companion of your wanderings ; and death only
shall divide us from tliis hour. Take my advice,
replied he, live with Don Ambrosio ; unite not your-
self with my miseries, but leave me to stand under
their undivided weight. These and other such en-
treaties he used ; but the more willing he seemed tb
sacrifice himself to my welfare, the less did I feel
disposed to take advantage of his generosity. When
he saw me resolute in my determination to follow
him, he all at once changed his tone ; and assuming
an aspect of more satisfaction. Madam, said he, since
you still love Don Alvar well enough, to prefer ad-
versity with him before your present ease and afflu-
ence, let us then take up our abode at Betancos, in
the interior of Galicia. There I have a safe retreat.
Though my misfortunes may ha^e stripped me of all
my effects, they have not alienated all my friends ;
some are yet faithful, and have furnished me with the
means of canying you off. With their help I have
hired a carriajje at Zamora ; have boujjht mules and
horses, and am accompanied by perhaps the three
boldest of the Galicians. They are armed wdth car-
abines and pistols, waiting my orders at the village
of Rodillas. Let us avail ourselves of Don Am-
brosio's absence. I will send the carriage to the
castle gate, and we -w-ill set out without loss of time.
I consented. Don Alvar flew towards Rodillas,
and shortly returned with his escort. My women,
from the midst of whom I was carried off, not know-
ing what to think of this violent proceeding, made
their escape in great terror. Ines only was in the

f^ Gil JiLA^.

secret ; but she would not link her fate with mine,
on account of a love affair with Don Ambrosio's
favorite man.

I opot into the carriag-e therefore with Don Alvar,
taking nothing with me but my clothes and some
jewels of my own before my second marriage ; for
I could not think of appropriating any presents of
the Marquis. We travelled in the direction of Ga-
licia, without knowing if we should be lucky enough
to reach it. We had reason to fear Don Ambrosio's
pursuit on his return, and that we should be over-
taken by superior numbers. We went forward for
two days without any alarm, and in the hope of be-
ing equally fortunate the third, had got into a very
quiet conversation. Don Alvar was relating the
melancholy adventure which had occasioned the ru-
mor of his death, and how he recovered his freedom,
after five years of slavery, when yesterday we met
upon the Leon road the banditti you were with. lie
it was whom they killed with all his attendants, and
it is for him the tears flow, which you see me shed-
ding at tliis moment.

•+»+^

CHAPTER XII.

A DISAGREEABLE INTERRUPTION.

Donna Mexcia melted into tears as she finished
this recital. I allowed her to give a free passage
to her sighs ; I even wept myself for company, so

A MSAGMM^LE tNTETtttVPTlON. 79

natural is it to be interested for the afflicted, and
especially for a lovely female in distress. I was
just going to ask her what she meant to do in the
present conjuncture, and possibly she was going to
consult me on the, same subject if our conversation
had not been interrupted ; but we heard a great
noise in the inn, wliich drew our attention whether
we would or no. It was no less than the arrival
of the corregidor, attended by two alguazils and
their marshalmen. They came into the room where
we were. A young gentleman in their train came
first up to me, and began taking to pieces the dif-
ferent articles of my dress. He had no occasion to
examine them long. By saint James, exclaimed he,
this is my identical doublet ! It is the very thing,
and as safely to be challenged as my horse. You
may commit this spark on my recognizance ; he is
one of the jrano; who liave an undiscovered retreat in
this countrv.

At this discourse, which gave me to understand
my accuser to be the gentleman robbed, whose spoils
to my confusion were exclusively my owni, I was
without a word to say for myself, looking one way
and the other, and not knowing where to fix my
eyes. The corregidor, whose office was suspicion,
set me down for the cidprit ; and, presuming on the
lady for an accomplice, ordered us into separate cus-
tody. This magistrate was none of your stern gal-
lows-preaching fellows, he had a jocular epigram-
matic sort of countenance. God knows if his heart
lay in the right place for all that ! As soon as I

^(^ GIL BLAS.

was committed, in came he with his pack. They
knew their trade, and began by searching me.
What a forfeit to these lords of the manor ! At
every handful of pistoles, what little eyes did I see
them make ! The corregidor was absolutely out of
his wits ! It was the best stroke within the memory
of justice ! My pretty lad, said his worship with a
softened tone, we only do our duty, but do not you
tremble for your bones before the time : you will
not be broken on the wheel if you do not deserve it.
These blood-suckers were emptying my pockets all
the time with their cursed palaver, and took from me
what their betters of the shades below had the de-
cency to leave — my uncle's forty ducats. They
stuck at nothing ! Their stanch fingers, with slow
but certain scent, routed me out from top to toe ;
they whisked me round and round, and stripped me
even to the shame of modesty, for fear some sneak-
ing portrait of the king should slink between my
shirt and skin. When they could sift me no further,
the corremdor thouo;ht it time to beo^in liis examina-
tion. I told a plain tale. My deposition was taken
down ; and the sequel was, that he carried in his
train his bloodhounds, and my little property, leav-
ing me to toss without a rag upon a beggarly whisp
of straw.

O, the miseries of human life ! groaned I, when
I found myself in tliis merciless and solitary condi-
tion. Our adventures here are whimsical, and out
of all time and tune. From my first outset from
Oviedo, I had got into a pleasant round of difficult-

GIL BLAS committed TO PRISO]^. gl

les ; hardly had I worked myself out of one danger,
before I soused mto another. Commg into town
here, how could I expect the honor of the corregidor's
acquaintance? While thus communing with my
own thou<xhts, I jjot once more into the cursed
doublet and the rest of the paraphernalia which had
got me into such a scrape ; then plucking up a littles
courage, Never mind, Gil Bias, thought I, do not
be chicken-hearted. AVhat is a prison above ground,
after so brimstone a snuffle as thou hast had of the
regions below? But, alas ! I hallo before I am out
of the wood I I am in more experienced hands than
those of Leonarda and Domingo. JVIy key will not
open this grate ! I might well say so, for a prisoner
without money is ^ike a bird with its wings clipped ;
one must be in full feather, to flutter out of distance
from these gaol-birds.

But we left a partridge and a young rabbit on the
spit ! How they got off I know not ; but my sup-
per was a bit of sallow-complexioned bread, with a
pitcher of water to render it amenable to mastica-
tion ! and thus was I destined to bite the bridle in
my dungeon. A fortnight was pretty well without
seeing a soul but my keeper, who had orders that I
should want for nothing in the bread and water
way ! AVhenever he made his appearance I was m-
olined to be sociable, and to parley a little to get rid
of the blue devils ; bvit this majestic minister was
above reply, he was mum ! he scarcely trusted liia
eyes but to see that I did not slip by him. On
the sixteenth day, the corrcgidor strutted in to this

vol.. I. 6

g^ GIL BLAS.

tune — You are a lucky fellow ! I have news for
you. The lady is packed off for Burgos. She
came under my examination before her departure,
and her answers went to your exculpation. You
will be at large this very day if your carrier from
Pegnaflor to Cacabelos aorees in the same tale. He
is now in Astorga. I have sent for him, and expect
him here ; if he confirms the story of the torture,
you are your own master.

At these words I was ready to jump out of my
skin for joy. The business was settled ! I thanked
the magistrate for the abridgment of justice with
which he had deigned to favor me, and was getting
to the fag end of my compliment, when the muleteer
arrived, with an attendant before and behind. I
knew the fellow's face ; but he, having as a matter
of course sold my cloak-bag with the contents, from
a deep-rooted affection to the money which the sale
had brought, swore lustily that he had no acquaint-
ance with me, and had never seen me in the whole
course of his life. O ! you villain, exclaimed I, go
down on your knees and own that you have sold my
clothes. Pry thee, have some regard to truth !
Look in my face ; am not I one of those shallow
young fellows whom you had the wit to threaten
with the rack in the corporate town of Cacabelos ?
The muleteer turned upon his toe, and protested he
had not the honor of my acquaintance. As he per-
sisted in his disavowal, I was recommitted for further
examination. Patience once more ! It was only
reducino; feasts and fasts to the level of bread and

MLMased from pniso^t. - 83

Water, and regaling the only sense I had the means
of using with the sight of my tongue-tied warden.
But when 1 reflected how little innocence would
avail to extricate me from the clutches of the law,
the thought was death ; I panted for my subterrane-
ous paradise. Take it for all in all, said I, there
were fewer grievances than in this dungeon. I was
hail fellow well met with the banditti ! I bandied
about my jokes with the best of them, and lived on
the sweet hope of an escape ; whereas my innocence
here will only be a passport to the galleys.

>+»+■

CHAPTER XIIL

THE LUCKY MEANS BY WHICH OIL SLAS ESCAPED FROM
PRISON, AND HIS TRAVELS AFTERWARDS.

While I passed the hours in tickling my fancy
with my own gay thoughts, my adventures, word
for word, as I had set my hand to them, were cur-
rent about the town. The people wanted to make
a show of me ! One after another, there they came,
peeping in at a little window of my prison, not too
capacious of daylight ; and when they had looked
about them, off they went ! This raree-show was a
novelty. Since my commitment, there had not been
a living creature at that window, which looked into
ft court where silence and horror kept guard. Tliis
gave me to understand that I was become the town-
talk, and I knew not whether to divine good or evil
from the omen.

64 f^JL BLAS.

One of my first visitors was the little chorister of
Mondojjnedo, who had a fellow-feelino; with me for
the rack, and an equally light pair of heels. I knew
him at once, and he had no qualms about acknowl-
edging me as an acquaintance. We exchanged a
kind greeting, then compared notes since our separa-
tion. I was obliged to relate my adventures in due
form and order. The chorister, on his part, told
me what had happened in the inn at Cacabelos,
between the muleteer and the bride, after we had
taken to our heels in a panic. Then, with a friendly
assurance at parting, he promised to leave no stone
unturned for my release. His companions, of mere
curiosity, testified their pity for my misfortune ;
assuring me that they would lend a helping hand to
the little chorister, and do their utmost to prociure
my freedom.

They were no worse than their word. The cor-
regidor was applied to in my favor, who, no longer
doubtful of my innocence, above all when he had
heard the chorister's story, came three weeks after-
wards into my cell. Gil Bias, said he, I never
stand shilly-shally: begone, you are free; you may
take yourself off whenever you please. But, tell me,
if you were carried to the forest, could you not dis-
cover the subterraneous retreat? No, sir, replied I :
as I only entered in the night, and made my escape
before daybreak, it would be imj)ossible to fix upon
the spot. Thereupon the magistrate withdrew,
assuring me that the gaoler should be ordered to
give me free egress. In fact, the very next moment

TREATMENT BY THE OFFICERS. 85

the turnkey came into my dungeon, followed by one
of his outriding establishment, Avith a bundle of
clothes under his arm. They both of them stripped
me with the utmost solemnity, and without uttering
a single syllable, of my doublet and breeches, which
had the honor to be made of a bettermost cloth
almost new ; then, having rigged me in an old frock,
they shoved me out of their hospitable mansion by
the shoulders.

The taking I was in to see myself so ill equipped,
acted as a cooler to tlie usual transport of prisoners
at recovering their Hberty. I was tempted to escape
from the town without delay, that I might withdraw
from the gaze of the people, whose prying eyes I
could not encounter but with pain. My gratitude
however got the better of my diffidence. I went to
thank the little chorister, to whom I was so much
obliged. He could not help chuckling when he saw
me. That is your trim, is it? said he. As far as I
see, you cannot complain that your case has not
been sifted to the bottom. I have nothing to say
against the laws of my country, replied I ; they are
as just as need be. I only wish their officers Avould
take after them. They might have spared me my
suit of clothes ! I have paid for them over and
over again. I am quite of your mind, rejoined lie ;
but they would tell you that these are little formali-
ties of old standing, which cannot be dispensed with.
What ! you are foolish enough to suppose, for in-
stance, that your horse has been restored to its right
pTrner? Not a word of it, if you please : the beas|

86 GIL BLAS.

is at this present in the stables of the register, where
it has been impounded as a witness to be brought
into court : if the poor gentleman comes off with the
crupper, he will be so much in pocket. But let us
change the subject. What is your plan ? What do
you mean to do with yourself? I have an inclina-
tion, said I, to take the road for Burgos. I may
light on my rescued lady ; she wQl give me a little
ready cash : I shall then buy a new short cassock,
and betake myself to Salamanca, where I shall see
what I can make of my Latin. All my trouble is,
how to get to Burgos : one must live on the road.
I understand you, replied he. Take my purse : it is
rather thinly lined, to be sure ; but you know a
chorister's dividends are not like a bishop's. At the
same time he drew it from his pouch, and inserted
it between my hands with so good a grace, that I
could not do otherwise than accept it, for want of a
better. I thanked him as though he had made me a
present of a gold mine, and tendered him a thousand
promises of recompense, to be duly honored and
punctually paid at doom's-day. With this I left
him, and skulked out of the town, not paying my
respects, to my other benefactors ; but giving them
a thousand blessings from my heart.

The little chorister had reason for speaking mod-
estly of his purse ; it was not orthodox. By good
luck, I had been used for these two months to a very
slender diet, and had still a little small change left
when I reached Ponte de Mula, not far from Burgos.
I halted there to inquire after Donna Mericia, Th^

INCIDENTS OF TRAVEL. §7

hostess of the inn I put up at was a little withered,
spiteful, emaciated bit of mortality. I saw at a
glance, by the mouths she made at me aside, that
my frock did riot hit her fancy ; and I thought it a
proof of her taste. So I sat myself down at a table ;
ate bread and cheese, and drank a few glasses of
execrable wine, such as innkeepers technically call
cassecoquin. During this meal, which was of a
piece with the outward appearance of the guest, I
did my utmost to come to closer quarters with my
landlady. Did she know the Marquis de la Guar-
dia ? Was his castle far out of tOAvn ? Above all,
what was become of my lady marchioness? You
ask many questions in a breath, replied she, bri-
dling with disdain. But I got out of her, though by
hard pumping, that Don Ambrosio's castle was but
a short league from Ponte de Mula.

After I had done eating and drinking, as it was
night, I thought it natural to go to bed, and asked
for my room. A room for you ! shrieked my land-
lady, darting at me a glance of contempt and pride ;
I have no rooms for fellows who make their supper
on a bit of cheese. All my beds are bespoke.
There are people of fashion expected, and our ac-
commodations are all kept for them. But I Avill not
be unchristian : you may lie in my barn : I suppose
your soft skin will not be incommoded by the feel
of straw. She spoke tmth without knowing it. I
took it all in silence, and slunk to my roosting-place,
where I fell asleep like a man, the excess of whose
labors are his ready passport to the blessings of
repose f

38 GIL BLAS.

CHAPTER XIV.

DONNA MENCIA'S RECEPTION OF HIM AT BURGOS.

I WAS no sluggard, but got up the next morning
betimes. I j^aid my bill to the landlady, who was
already stirring, and seemed a little less lofty and in
better humor than the evening before ; a circum-
stance I attributed to the endeavors of three kind
guardsmen belonging to the holy brotherhood.
These gentlemen had slept in the inn : they were
evidently on a very intimate footing with the host-
ess : and doubtless it was for guests of such note
that all the beds were bespoke.

I inquired in the town my way to the castle where
I wanted to present myself. By accident I made up
to a man not unlike my landlord at r*egnaflor. He
was not satisfied with answering my question to the
point ; but informed me that Don Ambrosio had
been dead three weeks, and the marchioness his lady
Jiad taken the resolution of retiring to a convent at
Burgos, which he named. I proceeded immediately
towards that town, instead of takinor the road to the
castle, as I had first meant to do, and flew at once
to the place of Donna Mencia's retreat. I besought
the attendant at the turning-box to tell that lady that
a young man just discharged fi'om prison at Astorga
wanted to speak with her. The nun went on the
message immediately. On her return, she showed
pe into a parlor, where I did not wait long before

DONNA MENCIA'S RECEPtiun. 89

Don Ambrosio's widow appeared at the grate in
deep mourning.

You are welcome, said the lady. Four days ago
I wrote to a person at Astorga, to pay you a visit as
from me, and to tell you to come and see me the
moment you were released from prison. I had no
doubt of your being discharged shortly : what I told
the corregidor in your exculpation was enough for
that. An answer was brought that you had been
set at liberty, but that no one knew what was be-
come of you. I was afraid of not seeing you any
more, and losing the pleasure of expressing my gi'at-
itude. Never mind, added she, observing my con-
fusion at making my appearance in so wa-etched a
garb ; your dress is of very little consequence. Af-
ter the important services you have rendered me, I
should be the most ungrateful of my sex, if I were
to do nothing for you in return. I imdertake there-
fore to better your condition : it is my duty, and the
means are in my power. IVIy fortune is large enough
to pay my debt of obligation to you, without putting
piyself to inconvenience.

You know, continued she, my story up to the
time when we both were committed to jjrison. I
will now tell you what has happened to me since.
When the corregidor at Astorg-a had sent me to
Burgos, after having heard from my own lips a
faithful recital of my adventures, I presented my-
self at the Castle of Ambrosio. My return thither
excited extreme surprise : but they told me that it
was too late ; the marquis, as if he had been tliun-t

90 <^IL BLAS.

derstruck at my flight, fell sick ; and the physicians
despaired of his recovery. Here was a new incident
in the melancholy tragedy of my fate. Yet I or-
dered my arrival tb be announced. The next mo-
ment I ran into his chamber, and threw myself on
my knees by his bedside, with a face running down
with tears and a heart oppressed with the most lively
sorrow. Who sent for you hither ? said he as soon
as he saw me ; are you come to contemplate your own
contrivance ? Was it not enough to have deprived me
of life ? But was it necessary to satisfy your heart's
desire, to be an eye-witness of my death? My lord,
replied I, Ines must have told you that I fled with my
first husband ; and, had it not been for the sad acci-
dent which has taken him from me forever, you never
would have seen me more. At the same time I ac-
quainted him that Don Alvar had been killed by a
banditti, whose captive I had consequently been in a
subterraneous dungeon. After relating the particu-
lars of my story to the end, Don Ambrosio held out
to me his hand. It is enough, said he affectionately,
I will make no more complaints. Alas ! Have I
in fact any right to reproach you? You were
thrown once more in the way of a beloved husband ;
and gave me up to follow his fortunes : can I blame
such an instance of your affection? No, madam, it
would have been vain to resist the will of fate. For
that reason I gave orders not to pursue you. In my
rival himself I could not but respect the sacred rights
with which he was invested, and even the impulse
of your flight seemed to have been communic3;te4

GENEROSITY OF DONNA MENCIA. 91

by some superior power. To close all with an act
of justice, and in the spirit of reconciliation, your
return hither has reestablished you completely in my
affection. Yes, my dear Mencia, your presence fills
me with joy : but, alas ! I shall not long be sensible
to it. I feel my last hour to be at hand. No soon-
er are you restored to me, than I must bid you an
eternal farewell. At these touching expressions, my
tears flowed in torrents. I felt and expressed as
much affliction as the human heart is capable of
containing. I question whether Don Alvar's death,
doting on him as I did, had cost me more bitter lam-
entations. Don Ambrosio had given way to no mis-
taken presage of his death, which happened on the
following day ; arid I remained mistress of a consid-
erable jointure, settled on me at our marriage. But
I shall take care to make no unworthy use of it.
The world shall not see me, young as I still am,
wantoning in the arms of a third husband. Besides
that such levity seems irreconcilable with the feel-
ings of any but the profligate of our sex, I will
frankly own the relish of life to be extinct in me ;
so that I mean to end my days in this convent, and
to become a benefactress to it.

Such was Donna Mencia's discourse about her
future plans. She then drew a purse from beneath
her robe, and put it into my hands, with this ad-
dress : Here are a hundred ducats simply to furnish
out your wardrobe. That done, come and see me
again. I mean not to confine my gratitude within
mcl^ narrow bounds? I returned her 3, thousand

92 GIL BLAS.

thanks, and promised solemnly not to quit Burgos,
without takino^ leave of her. Havino; ffiven this
pledge, which I had every inclination to redeem, I
went to look out for some house of entertainment.
Entering the first I met with, I asked for a room.
To parry the ill opinion my frock might couA-ey of
my finances, I told the landlord that, however n\)-
pearances might be against me, I could pay for my
niofht's lodfjino^ as well as a better dressed j^entle-
man. At this speech, the landlord, whose name
was Majuelo, a great banterer in a coarse way, run-
ning over me with his eyes from top to toe, answered
with a cool, sarcastic grin, that there was no need
of any sucli assurance : it was evident I should pay
my Avay liberally, for he discovered something of
nobility through my disguise, and had no doubt but
I was a gentleman in very easy circumstances. I
saw plainly that the rascal Avas laughing at me ; and,
to stop his humor before it became too convulsiAC,
gave him a little insight into the state of my purse.
I went so far as to count over my ducats on a table
before him, and perceived my coin to have inclined
him to a more respectful judgment. I begged the
favor of him to send for a tailor. A broker would
be better, said he ; he will bring all sorts of apparel,
and you will be dressed up out of hand. I approved
of this advice, and determined to follow it : but, as
the day was on the point of closing, I put off my
purchase till the morrow, and thought only of get-
ting a good supper, to make me amends for the mis-
erable fare I had taken up with since my escape frojflt
the forest.

tMPnoViS HIS DRESS. §3

CHAPTER XV.

OIL BLAS DRESSES HIMSELF TO MORE ADVANTAGE, AND RE-
CEIVES A SECOND PRESENT FROM THE LAD}'. HIS EQUI-
PAGE ON SETTING OUT FROM BURGOS.

They served me up a plentiful fricassee of sheep's
trotters, almost the whole of which I demolished.
My drinking kept pace with my eating : and when
I could stuff no longer, I went to bed. I lay com-
fortably enough, and was in hopes that a sound sleep
would have the kindness without delay to commit a
friendly invasion on my senses. But I could not
close an eye,' for ruminating on the dress I should
choose. What shall I do, thought I? Shall I fol-
low my first plan ? Shall I buy a short cassock, and
go to Salamanca to set up for a tutor ? Why should
I adopt the costume of a licentiate ? For the pur-
pose of going into orders? Do I feel an inward
call? No. If I have any call, it is quite the con-
trary way. I had rather wear a sword than an
apron : and push my fortune in this world, before
I think of the next.

I made up my mind to take on myself the appear-
ance of a gentleman. Waiting for the day with the
greatest impatience, its first dawn no sooner greeted
my eyes, than I got up. I made such an uproar in
the inn, as to wake the most inveterate sleeper, and
called the servants out of bed who returned my salute
with a volley of curses. But tliey found themselves
under a necessity of stirring, and I let them have no

94 G/L BLAS,

rest, till they had sent for a broker. The gentleman
soon made his appearance, followed by two lads,
each lugging in a great bmidle of green cloth. He
accosted me very civilly, to the following effect :
Honored sir, you are a happy man to have been
recommended to me rather than any one else. I do
not mean to give my brethren an ill word : God
forbid I should offer the slightest injury to their
reputation ! They have none to spare. But, be-
tween ourselves, there is not one of them that has
any bowels ; they are more extortionate than the
Israelites. There is not a broker but myself, that
has any moral sense. I keep within the bounds of
a reasonable profit. I am satisfied with a pound in
the penny ; — no, no ! — that is wrong : — with a
penny in the pound. Thanks to Heaven, I get for-
ward fair and softly in the world.

The broker, after this preface, which I, like a fool,
took for chapter and verse, told his journeymen to
undo their bundles. They showed me suits of every
color in the rainbow, and exposed to sale a great
choice of plain cloths. These I threw aside with
contempt, as thinking them too undressed ; but they
made me try on one which fitted me as well as if I
had been measured for it, and just hit my fancy,
though it was a little the worse for wear. It was
a doublet with slashed sleeves, with breeches and a
cloak, the whole of blue velvet with gold em-
broidery. I felt a little hankering after this partic-
ular article, and attempted to beat down the price.
The broker, who saw my inclination, told me I had

IMPROVES His dUess. 95

d, very correct taste. By all that is sacred ! ex-
claimed he, it is plain you are no younker. Take
this with you ! That dress was made for one of the
first nobility in the kingdom, and has not been on
his back three times. Look at the velvet ; feel it :
nothinof can be richer or of a better color ; and for
the embroidery, come, now ! tell truth : did you
ever see better workmanship? What is the price
of it? said I. Only sixty ducats, replied he. I
have refused the money, or else I am a liar. The
alternative could not fail in one proposition or the
other. I bid five and forty : two or three and
twenty would have been nearer the mark. My
worthy master, said the broker coolly, I never
ask too much. I have but one price. But here,
added he, holding up the suits I had thrown aside ;
take these : I can afford to sell them a better bar-
gain. All this only inflamed my eagerness to buy
what I was cheapening ; and as I had no idea that
he would have made any abatement, I paid him down
sixty ducats. When he saw how easily a fool and
his money were parted, I verily believe that, in spite
of the moral sense, he heartily repented not having
taken a hint from the extortionate Israelite. But
reconciling himself as well as he could to the small
profit, to which he professed to confine himself, of a
pound upon a penny, he retreated with his journey-
men. I was not suffered to forget that they must
have something for their trouble.

I had now a cloak, a doublet, and a very decent
pair of breeches. The rest of my wardrobe was to

9^ att niAS.

be thought of : and this took up the whole morning;
I bought some linen, a hat, silk stockings, shoes,
and a sword ; and concluded by putting on my pur-
chases. What pleasure was it to see myself so well
accoutred ! My eyes were never cloyed, as it
were, with the richness of my attire. Never did
peacock look at his own plumage with less philoso^
phy. On that very day, I paid a second visit td
Donna Mencia, who received me with her usual
affability. She thanked me over again for the
service I had rendered her. On that subject, rapid
was the interchange of compliments. Then, wish-
ing every kind of success, she bade me farewell, and
withdrew, without giving me any tiling but a ring
worth thirty pistoles, which she begged me to keep
as a remembrance.

I looked very foolish with my ring ! I had
reckoned on a much more considerable present.
Thus, little satisfied with the lady's bounty, I
measured back my steps in a very musing attitude :
but as I entered the inn door, a man overtook me,
and throwing off his wrapping cloak, discovered a
large bag under his arm. At the vision of the bag,
apparently full of current coin, I stood gaping, as
did most of the company present. The voice of
angel or archangel could not have been sweeter,
than when this messenger of eartlily dross, laying
the bag upon the table, said : Signor Gil Bias, the
lady marchioness desires her compliments. I bowed
the bearer out, with an accumulation of fine
speeches ; and, as soon as liis back was turned,

A SECONt) PRESENT. 97

pounced upon the bag, like a hawk upon its quany,
and bore it between my talons to my chamber. I
untied it without loss of time, and the contents
were ; — a thousand ducats ! The landlord, who
had overheard the bearer, came in just as I had done
counting them, to know what was in the bag. The
sight of my riches displayed upon a table, struck
him in a very forcible manner. What the devil !
here is a sum of money ! So, so ! you are the man !
pursued he with a waggish sort of leer, you know
how to — tickle the — fancies of the ladies ! Four
and twenty hours only have you been in Burgos,
and marcliionesses, I wan-ant you, have surrendered
at the first summons !

This discourse was not so much amiss. I was
half inclined to leave Majuelo in his error ; for it
flattered my vanity. I do not wonder young fellows
are fond of passing for men of gallantry. But as
yet the purity of my morals was proof against the
suggestions of my pride. I undeceived my landlord,
by telling him Donna Mencia's story, to wliich he
listened very attentively. Afterwards I let him into
the state of my affairs ; and, as he seemed to take
an interest in tliem, besought him to assist me with
his advice. He ruminated for some time ; then said
with a serious an- : Master Gil Bias, I have taken
a liking to you ; and since you are candid enough
to open your heart to me, I will tell you sincerely
what I think would suit you best. You were
evidently born for a court life : I recommend you to
go thither, and to get about the persom of some

VOL. I. 7

98 GIL BLAS.

considerable nobleman. But make a point either of
getting at his secrets, or administering to his
pleasm-es ; unless you do that, it will be all lost time
in his family. I know the great : they reckon nothing
upon the zeal and attachment of a real friend ; but
only care for pimping sycophants. You have
besides another string to your bow. You are young,
with an attractive person : parts out of the question,
for they are not at all times necessary, it is hard if
you cannot turn the head of some rich widow, or
handsome wife with a broomstick for her husband.
Love may ruin men of fortune ; but it makes amends
by feathering the nests of those who have none.
My vote therefore is for Madrid : but you must not
make your appearance there without an establish-
ment. There, as elsewhere, people judge by the
outside ; and you will only be respected according
to the figure you make. I will find you a servant,
a tried domestic, a prudent lad ; in a word, a fellow
of my own creation. Buy a couple of mules ; one
for yourself, the other for him : and set off as fast
as you can.

This counsel was too palatable to be refused. On
the day following, I pm'chased two fine mules, and
bargained with my new servant. He was a young
man of thirty, of a very simple and godly appear-
ance. He told me he was a native of Galicia, by
name Ambrose de Lamela. Other servants are sel-
fish, and think they never can have wages enough.
This fellow assured me he was a man of few wants,
and should be contented with whatever I had the

bONNA MENCIA*S COtfSt}^. 09

goodness to give him. I bought a pair of boots,
with a portmanteau to lock up my linen and my
money. Having settled with my landlord, I set out
from Burgos the next morning before sunrise, on
my way to Madrid.

►♦»+•

CHAPTER XVI.

SHOWING THAT PROSPERITY WILL SLIP THROUGH A MAN'd
FINGERS.

We slept at Duengnas the first night, and reached
Valladolid on the following day, about four o'clock
in the afternoon. We alighted at the inn of the
most respectable appearance in the town. I left the
care of the nuiles to my fellow, and went up to a
room whither I ordered my portmanteau to be car-
ried by a waiter. As I felt a little weary, I threw
myself on a couch in my boots, and fell asleep in-
voluntarily. It was almost night when I awoke. I
called for Ambrose. He was not to be found in the
house ; but made his appearance in a short time. I
asked him where he had been : he answered in his
godly way, that he was just come from church,
whither he went for the purpose of thanksgiving, by
reason that we luul been graciously preser^•ed from
all perils and dangers between Burgos and Valladolid.
I commended his piety ; and ordered a chicken to be
roasted for supper.

At the moment when I was giving this order, my

loo (^tL SLA^.

landlord came into my room with a lio;ht in his hand.
That cursed candle served to introduce a lady, hand-
some but not young, and very richly attired. She
leaned upon an usher, none of the youngest, and a
little blackamoor was her train-bearer. 1 was under
no small surprise when this fair incognita, with a
profound obeisance, begged to know if my name
might happen to be Signor Gil Bias of Santillane?
I had no sooner blundered out yes, than she released
her sweet hand from the custody of the usher, and
embraced me with a transport of joy, of which I
knew less and less what to make. Heaven be
praised, cried she, for all its mercies ! You are he,
noble sir, the very man of whom I was in quest.
By this introduction, I was reminded of my friend
the parasite at Pegnaflor, and was on the point of
suspecting the lady to be no better than an honest
woman should be : but her finale gave me a much
higher opinion of her. I am, continued she, first
cousin to Donna Mencia de Mosquera, whom you
have so greatly befriended. It was but this morn-
ing I received a letter from her. She writes me
word that having learned your intention of going to
Madrid, she wished me to receive you hospitably on
your journey, if you went this way. For these two
hours have I been parading tlie town. From inn to
inn have I gone to inform mvself what strangers
were in the house ; and I gathered from the land-
lord's description, that you were most likely to have
been my cousin's deliverer. Since then I have
found you out, you shall know by experience my

ARRIVAL OF DON RAPHAEL. IQl

gratitude to the friends of my family, and especially
to my dear cousin's hero. You will take up your
abode, if you please, at my house. Your accom-
modations will be better. I wished to excuse my-
self ; and told the lady that I could not be so trouble-
some : but her importunities were more than a match
for my modesty. A carriage was waiting at the
door of the inn to convey us. She saw my port-
manteau taken care of with her own eyes, because,
as she justly observed, there were a great many
light-fingered gentry about Valladolid — to be sure
there wpre a great many light-fingered gentry about
Valladolid, as she justly observed ! In short, I got
into the carriage with her and the old usher, and
suffered myself to be carried off bodily from the iim,
to the great annoyance of the landlord, who saw him-
self thus weaned from all the little perquisites he had
reckoned on from my abode under his roof.

Our carriage, having rolled on some distance,
stopped. We alighted at the door of a handsome
house, and wowt up stairs into a well furnished
apartment, illuminated by twenty or thirty wax
candles. Several servants were in waiting, of whom
the lady inquired whether Don Raphael was come.
They answered, No. She then addressed herself to
me : Signor Gil Bias, I am waiting for my brother's
return from a country seat of ours, about two leagues
distant. What an agreeable surprise will it be to
him to find a man under his roof to whom our family
is so much indebted ! At the very moment she had
finished this pretty speech, we beard a noise, an^

102 GIL BLAS.

were informed at the same time that it was oc-
casioned by the arrival of Don Raphael. This spark
soon made his appearance. He was a young man
of portly figure and genteel manners. I am in
ecstasy to see you back again, brother, said the
lady ; you will assist me in doing the honors to
Signor Gil Bias of Santillane. We can never
ilo enough to show our sense of his kindness to our
kinswoman. Donna Mencia. Here, read this letter
I have just received. Don Raphael opened the
envelope, and read aloud as follows : —

" My Dear Camilla : Signor Gil Bias of Santil-
lane, the saviour of my honor and my life, has just set
out for court. He will of course pass through Val-
ladolid. I conjure you by our family connection,
and still more by our indissoluble friendship, to give
him a hospitable reception, and to detain him for
some time as your guest. I flatter myself that you
will so far oblige me, and that my deliverer will
receive every kind of polite attention from yourself,
and my cousin Don Raphael.

Your affectionate cousin,

^^ Burgos. Donna Mencia."

What ! cried Don Raphael, casting his eyes again
over the letter, is it to this gentleman my kins-
woman owes her honor and her life ? Then Heaven
be praised for this happy meeting. With this sort
of language, he advanced towards me ; and squeezing
me tightly in his arms : What joy to me is it, added
he, to have the honor of seeing Signor Gil Bias of

DONNA MENCIA'S HEALTH. 103

Santillane ? ]\Iy cousin the marchioness had no need
to press the hospitaHty. Had she only told us
simply that you were passing through Valladolid,
that would have been enough. My sister Camilla
and I shall be at no loss how to conduct ourselves
towards a young gentleman, who has conferred an'
obligation, not to be repaid, on her of all our family
most tenderly beloved by us. I made the best
answer I could to these speeches, which were fol-
lowed by many others of the same kind, and inter-
larded with a thousand bows and scrapes. But
Lord bless me, he has his boots on ! The servants
were ordered in, to take them off.

We next went into another room, where the cloth
was laid. Down we sat at table, the brother, sister,
and myself. They paid me a himdred compli-
ments during supper. Xot a word escaped me, but
they magnified it into an admirable hit ! It was
impossible not to observe the assiduity with which
they both helped me out of every dish. Don
Raphael often pledged me to Donna Mencia's health.
I could not refuse the challenge ; and it looked a
little as if Camilla, who was a very good companion,
ogled at me with no questionable meaning. I even
thought I could perceive that she watched her op-
portunity, as if she was afraid of being detected by
her brother. An oracle could not have convinced
me more firmly that the lady was caught ; and I
looked foi*ward to a little delicate amusement from
the discover)', during the short time I was to stay at
Valladolid. That hope was my tempter to comply

104 G^/L BLAS.

with the request they made me, of condescending to
pass a few days with them. They thanked me
kindly for indulging them with my company ; and
Camilla's restrained, but visible transport, confirmed
me in the opinion that I was not altogether dis-
agreeable in her eyes.

Don Raphael, finding I had made up my mind to
be his guest for a few days, proposed to take me to
his country house. The description of it was mag-
nificent, and the round of amusements he meditated
for me was not to be described. At one time, said
he, we will take the diversion of the chase, at another
that of fishing ; and whenever you have a mind for a
saunter, we have charming woods and gai'dens. In
addition, we shall have agreeable society. I flatter
myself you will not find the time hang "heavy on your
hands. I accepted the invitation, and it was agreed
that we should go to this fine country house the fol-
lowing day. We rose from table with this pleasant
scheme in our mouths. Don Raphael seemed in
ecstasy. Signor Gil Bias, said he, embracing me,
I leave you with my sister. I am going presently
to give the necessary orders, and send invitations
round to the families I wish to be of tlie party.
With these words he sallied forth from the room
where we were sitting. I went on chattingf with
the lady, whose topics of discourse did not belie the
glances of her expressive eyes. She took me by the
hand, and playing with my ring, You have a mighty
pretty brilliant there, said she, but it is small. Are
you a judge of jewelry? I finswered, no | I am

TRICKED OUT OF HIS RLYG. 105

sorry for that, resumed she, because I was in hopes
you could have told me what this is worth. As she
uttered these words, she showed me a large ruby on
her finger ; and, while I was looking at it, said —
An inicle of mine, who was governor of the Spanish
settlements in the Philippine Isles, gave me this
ruby. The jewellers at Valladolid value it at three
hundre<l pistoles. It cannot be worth less, said I,
for it is evidently a very fine stone. IVhy then,
since you have taken a fancy to it, replied she, an
exchange is no robbery. In a twinkling she whisked
off my ring, and placed her own on my little finger.
After this exchange, a genteel way enough of mak-
ing a present, Camilla pressed my hand and gazed
at me with expressive tenderness ; then, all at once
breaking off the conversation, wished me good night,
and retired to hide her blushes, as if she had been
ready to sink at the indiscreet avowal of her senti-
ments.

No one hitherto had trod less in the paths of gal-
lantry than myself! Yet I could not shut my eyes
to the vista vision opened to me by this prcci[)itate
retreat. Under these circumstances, a country ex-
cursion might have its charms. Full of this flatter-
ing idea, and intoxicated with the prosperous condi-
tion of my affairs, I locked myself into my bed-room,
after ]ia\'ing told my servant to call me betimes in
the morning. Instead of going to sleep, I ga^e my-
self up to the disagreeable reflections which my port-
manteau, snug upon the table, and my ruby excited
in my breast, Heaven be praised, thought I, though

106 GIL BLAS.

misfortunes have been my lot, I am unfortunate no
longer. A thousand ducats here, a ring of three
hundred pistoles value there ! I am in cash for a
considerable time. Indeed Majuelo was no flatterer,
I see clearly. The ladies of Madiid will take fire
like touchwood, since the green sticks of Valladolid
are so inflammable. Then the kind regards of the
generous Camilla arrayed themselves in all their
charms, and I tasted by anticipation the amuse-
ments Don Raphael was preparing for me at his villa.
In the mean while, amid so many images of pleasure.
Sleep was on the watch to strew his poppies on my
couch. As soon as I felt myself drowsy, I un-
dressed and went to bed.

The next morning, when I awoke, I found it
rather late. It was odd enough that my servant
did not make his appearance, after such particular
orders. Ambrose, thought I to myself, my devout
Ambrose is either at church, or abominably lazy this
morning. But I soon let go this opinion of him to
take up a worse ; for getting out of bed, and seeing
no portmanteau, I suspected him to have stolen it
during the night. To clear up my suspicions, I
opened my chamber door, and called the religious
rascal over and over again. An old man answered,
saying — What is your pleasure, sir? All your
folks left my house before daybreak. Your house !
How now ! exclaimed I ; am I not under Don
Raphael's roof? I do not know the gentleman, said
he. You are in a ready-furnished lodging, and I
am the landlord. Yesterday evening, an hour be-

CURSES Ills ILL FORTUNE. lOT

fore your arrival, tlie lady who supped with you
came hither, and engaged this suite of apartments
for a nobleman of high rank, travelling hicognito,
as she called it. She paid me beforehand. I was
now in the secret. It was plain enough what sort
of people Camilla and Don Raphael were ; and I
conjectured that my servant, having wormed him-
self into a complete knowledge of my concerns, had
betrayed me to these impostors. Instead of blaming
myself for this sad accident, and considering that it
could never have ha[)pened but for my indiscretion
in so unnecessarily betraying my confidence to ]\Ia-
juelo, I gave bad language to the poor harmless
Dame Fortune, and cursed my ill star in a hundred
different formvilaries. The master of the ready-fur-
nished lodging, to whom I related tlie adventure,
which perhai)S was as much his as mine, showed
some little outward sensibility to my affliction. He
lamented over me, and protested he was deeply mor-
tified that such a play should have been acted in his
house ; but I verily beliere, notwithstanding his fine
words, that he had an equal share in the cheat with
mine host at Burgos, to whom I have never denied
the merit of so ingenious an invention.

103 GIL BLAS.

CHAPTER XVII.

THE MEASURES GIL BLAS TOOK AFTER THE ADVENTURE OF
THE READY-FURNISHED LODGING.

After the first transports of my grief were over,
I began to consider, that instead of giving way to
remorse, I ought rather to bear up against my ill
fate. I summoned back my resolution, and by way
of comfort, said to myself as I was dressing — I am
still in luck that the knaves have not carried off my
clothes and what little money I had in my pocket.
I gave them some credit for being so considerate.
They had even been generous enough to leave me
my boots, which I parted with to the landlord for a
third of their cost. At last I sallied out of the
ready-furnished lodging, unencumbered, heaven be
praised, with baggage or attendance. The first
thing I did was to go and see if my mules were
still at the inn, where we alighted the evening be-
fore. It was not to be supposed that Ambrose
would have neglected a due attention to them ; and
it would have been well for me if I had always taken
such exact measure of his character. I learned that
he had not waited for the morning, but had been
careful to fetch them off over-night. Under these
circumstances, satisfied I should never see them
again, any more than my portmanteau, I Avalked
sulkily along the streets, musing on the future plans
I should adopt. I was tempted to go back to Bur-
gos, find once more have recourse to Donna M^ncia ;

pABkjCtO MEETS WITH GlL BLAS. 109

but, regarding this as an abuse of that lady's good-
ness, and being aware, moreover, what a fool I
should look like, I thought it best to forego that
idea. I made a vow too for the future to be on my
guard against women. I could have sent the chaste
Susanna to the house of correction. From time to
time my ring caught my eye ; it was a present from
Camilla ! and I was ready to burst with anguish.
Alas ! thought I, I am no judge of jewelry, but I
shall be, by experience of these hucksters who ex-
change without a robbery. I need not go to a jew-
eller to be told I am an ass ! I can see my own
face in my ruby.

Yet I did not neglect to know the truth respecting
the value of my ring, and showed it to a lapidary,
who rated it at three ducats. At such an estimate,
though as much as I expected, I made a formal sur-
render to the devil, of the Philippine Isles, the gov-
ernor and his niece ; or rather, I only restored his
own subjects to their lawful sovereign. As I was
going out of the lapidary's shop, a young fellow
brushed by me, and on looking round, made a full
stop. I could not recollect his name at first, though
his features were perfectly familiar to me. How
now, Gil Bias, said he, are you ashamed of an old
acquaintance ? or have two years so altered tlie son
of Nunez the barber, that you do not know him?
Do not you recollect Fabricio, your townsman and
schoolfellow? How often have we kept, before
Doctor Godinez, upon universals and metaphysics !

These words did not flow so fast as my recollec-

llO GIL Mas.

tion, and we embraced with mutual good will.
Well, my friend, resumed he, I am overjoyed to
meet with you. Words fall short. . . . But how
is this? Why, you look like — as Heaven is my
judge, you are dressed like a grandee ! A gentle-
man's sword, silk stockings, a velvet doublet and
cloak, embroidered with silver ! Plague take it !
this is getting on in the world with a vengeance. I
will lay a wager you are in with some old moneyed
harridan. You reckon without your host, said I,
my affairs are not so prosperous as you imagine.
That will not do for me, replied he, I know better
things ; but you have a mind to be close. And that
fine ruby on your finger, master Gil Bias, whence
comes that, if I may be so bold? It comes, quoth
I, from an infernal jade. Fabricio, my dear Fabri-
cio, far from being point, quint, and quatorze with
the ladies of Valladolid, you are to know, my friend,
that I am their complete bubble.

I uttered these last words so ruefully, that Fabri-
cio saw plainly that some trick had been played upon
me. He was anxious to learn why I was out of
humor with the lovely sex. I had no difficulty in
satisfying his curiosity ; but as the story was a long
one, and besides we had no mind to part in a hurry,
we went into a coffee-house to be a little more at
ease. There I recounted to him, during breakfast,
all that had happened to me since my departure
from Oviedo. My adventures he thought whim-
sical enough ; and testifying his sympathy in my
present uneasy circumstances, added — We must

FABntCtO RELATEH HtS ADVEifTuMS. Hi

make the best, my good lad, of all our misfortunes
in this life. Is a man of parts in distress ? he waits
patiently for better luck. Such a one, as Cicero
truly observes, never suffers himself to be humbled
so low as to forget that he is a man. For my own
part, that is just my character ; in or out of favor
there is no sinking me ; I always float on the surface
of ill-luck. For example, I was in love with a girl
of some family at Oviedo, and was beloved by her
in return. I asked her of her father in marriage,
he refused. Many a young fellow would have died
of grief; but no ! mark my spirit, I carried off" the
little baggage. She was lively, heedless, and co-
quettish : pleasure consequently was always upper-
most to the prejudice of duty. I took her with me
for six months backwards and forwards about Gali-
cia ; thence, adopting my taste for travelling, she
had a mind to go to Portugal, but in other company
— more food for despair. Yet I did not give in
under the weight of this new affliction ; but, im-
pro^ing on Menelaus, thought myself nmch obliged
to the Paris wlio had wliispered in the ear of my
Helen, for ridding me of a bad bargain ; I therefore
determined to keep the peace. After that, not find-
ing; it convenient to return to the Asturias and bal-
ance accounts with justice, I went forward into the
kingdom of Leon, spending between one town and
another all the loose cash remaining from the rape
of my Indian princess ; for we had both of us bird-
limed our fingers at our departure from Oviedo. I
got to Palencia with a solitary ducat, out of which I

112 Gil ULA^,

was obliged to buy a pair of shoes. The remainder
would not go far. My situation became rather per-
plexing. I began already to be reduced to short
allowance ; something must be done. I resolved
to go out to service. My first place was with a
woollen-draper in a large way, whose son was a lad
of wit and fashion ; here was a complete antidote to
fasting, but then there was a little awkwardness.
The father ordered me to dog the son, the son
begged my assistance in imposing on the father ;
it was necessary to take one side or other. En-
treaties sound more musical than commands, and
my taste for music got me turned out of doors.
The next service I entered into was with an old
painter, who undertook, as a matter of favor, to
teach me the principles of his art ; but he was so
busy in feeding me with knowledge, that he forgot
to give me any meat. This neglect of substance for
shadow disgusted me with my abode at Palencia. I
came to Valladolid, where, by the greatest good luck
in the world, I was hired by a governor of the hos-
pital ; I am with him still, and delighted with my
quarters. My master, Signor Manuel Ordonnez, is
a man of profound piety. He always walks with his
eyes cast downwards, and a large rosary in his hand.
They say that from his early youth, having been a
close inspector of the poor, he has interested him-
self in their affairs with unwearied zeal. Charity
draws down a blessing on the charitable, everything
has prospered with him. What a favorite of Heaven !
The more he does for the poor, the richer he grows*

PASniCIO RELATES HlS ADVENTURES. 113

As Fabricio was going on in this manner, I inter-
tupted him. It is well you are satisfied with your
lot ; but, between ourselves, surely you might play
your part better in the world. Do not you believe
it, Gil Bias, replied he ; be assured that for a man
of my temper a more agreeable situation could not
possibly have been devised. The trade of a lackey
is toilsome, to be sure, for a poor creatm-e ; but for
a lad of spirit it is all enchantment. A superior
genius, when he gets a service, does not go about it
like a lumpish simpleton. He enters into a family
as viceroy over the master, not as an inferior minis-
ter. He begins by measuring the length of his
employer's foot ; by lending himself to his weak-
nesses, he gains his confidence, and ends with lead-
ing him by the nose. Such has been my plan of
operation at the governor's. I knew the pilgrim at
once by his staflP; his wish was for an earthly can-
onization. I pretended to believe him to be the
saint he wished to be taken for ; hypocrisy costs
nothing. Nay, I went further, for I took pattern by
him ; and playing the same part before him which
he })layed before others, I out-cozened the cozener,
and by degrees got to be major domo. I am in
hopes some day or other, under his wing, to have
the fingering of the poor's-box. It may bring a
blessing upon me as well as another ; for I have
caught the flame from him, and already feel deeply
for the interests of charity.

These are fine hopes, my dear Fabricio, replied I ;
and I congratulate you upon them. For my part, I

114 GIL BLAS.

am determined on my first, plan. I shall straight
way convert my embroidered suit into a cassock,
repair to Salamanca, and there, enlisting under the
banner of the university, fulfil the sacred duties of a
tutor. A fine scheme ! exclaimed Fabricio, a pleas-
ant conceit ! What madness, at your age, to turn
pedant. Are you aware, you stupid fellow, what
you take upon yourself by that choice ? As soon as
you are settled, all the house will be upon the watch,
your most trivial actions will be minutely sifted.
You will lead a life of incessant constraint ; you
must set yourself off with a counterfeit outside, and
affect to entertain a double set of the cardinal virtues
in your bosom. You will not have a moment to
bestow on pleasure. The everlasting censor of your
pupil, your days will pass in teaching grammar and
administering saintly reprehension, when he shall
say or do any thing against decorum. After so much
labor and confinement, what will be your reward?
If the little gentleman is a pickle, they will lay all
the blame on your bad management ; and you will
be kicked out of the family, it may be, without your
stipend. Do not tell me then of a tutor's employ-
ment ; it is worse than a cure of souls. But talk as
much as you will about a lackey's occupation, that
is a sinecure, and pledges you to nothing. Suppose
one's master not to be immaculate ? A servant of
superior genius will flatter his vices, and not unfre-
quently turn them to account. A footman lives at
his ease in a good family. After having ate and
drank his fill, he goes to bed peaceably, without
troubling himself who pays the bills.

OIL BIAS APPLIED FOit A SITUATlOlSt. \\^

I should never have done, my dear fellow, pursued
he, were I to enumerate all the advantages of service.
Trust me, Gil Bias, discard forever your foolish
wish of being a tutor, and follow my example. So
be it ; but, Fabricio, replied I, governors like yours
are not to be met with every day ; and if resolved to
go to service, I should like at least to get a good
situation. O ! you are in the right, said he, and
that shall be my concern. I will get you a com-
fortable place, if it was only to snatch a fine fellow
from the jaws of the university.

The near approach of poverty with which I was
threatened, and Fabricio's apparent good case, hav-
ing more weight with me than his arguments, I
determined to wear a livery. On which we sallied
forth from the tavern, and my townsman said : I am
going to introduce you to a man, to whom most of
the servants resort when they are on the ramble ; he
has eavesdroppers about him to pick up all that
passes in families. He knows at once where the
servants are going away, and keeps a correct regis-
ter, not only of vacant places, but of vacant masters,
with their good and bad properties. The fellow has
been a friar in some convent or other. In short, he
it was who got me my place.

While we were conversing about so singular an
office of intelligence, the son of Nunez the barber
took me into a street which had no thoroughfare.
We went into a mean house, where we found a man
about fifty writing at a table. We wished him
good day, with quite as much humility as became

lie GIL MAS.

us : but, whether it was from natural pride, or tliat,
from a habit of seeing none but lackeys and coach-
men, he had got a trick of receiving his company
with an easy freedom, without rising from his seat,
he just gave a slight nod. He seemed surprised that
a young man in embroidered velvet should want a
place ; he had rather expected me to have wanted a
servant. However, he was not kept long in doubt,
since Fabricio said at once : Signor Arias de Lon-
dona, give me leave to introduce one of my best
friends. He is a youth of good connections, whom
adverse circumstances have reduced to the necessity
of going to service. Have the goodness to provide
for him handsomely, and you may trust to his grati-
tude. Gentlemen, replied Arias cooly, this is the
way with you all ; before you are settled, you make
the finest promises in the world : but afterwards,
Lord help us ! your memories are very short. The
deuce ! replied Fabricio, why, you do not complain
of me ? Have not I done the thing genteelly ? You
ought to have done it much better, rejoined Arias :
your place is better than a clerk in a public office,
and you paid me as if I had quartered you upon a
poor author. Here I interfered, and told Master
Arias, that to convince him I was not a shabby fel-
low, I would make my acknowledgments before-
hand; at the same time taking out two ducats, with
an assurance of not stopping there if he got me into
a good birth.

He seemed to like my mode of dealing. There
are, said he, some very good places vacant. I will

LICENTIATE SEDILLO. WJ

give you a list of them, and you sliall take your
choice. With these words, he put on liis spectacles,
opened a register on the table, turned oNcr a few of
the leaves, and began reading to this effect : Captain
Torbellino wants a footman ; a hasty, hairbrained,
humorsonie chap ; scolds incessantly, swears, kicks
his servants, and very often cripples them. Go on
to the next, cried I, at this picture ; such a captain
will never do for me. My sprightliness made Arias
smile, and he went on with his catalogue thus :
Donna Menuela dc Sandoval, a superannuated
dowager, peevish and fantastical, is in want at this
very time ; she keeps but one, and him never for
four and twenty hours. There has been a livery in
the house for these ten years, which fits every new
comer, whether tall or short. They only just try it
on ; so that it is as good as new, though it has had
two thousand owners. Doctor Ahar Fanez wants
a journeyman ; an eminent member of the faculty !
He boards his family very handsomely, has every
thing comfortable about him, and gives very high
wages ; but he is a little too fond of experiments.
When he gets a parcel of bad drugs, which happens
very often, there is a pretty quick succession of new
servants,

O ! I do not in the least doubt it, interrupted
Fabricio with a horse-laugli. Upon my word you
give a fine character of yoiu* customers. Patience,
said Arijis de Londona ; we have not yet got to the
end : there is variety enough. Thereu})()n he con-
tinued to read on : Donna Alfonsa de Solis, an old

118 GIL BLAS.

devotee, who lives two thirds of her time at church,
and always keeps her servant at her apron string,
has been in want for these three weeks. The Li-
centiate S^dillo, an old prebendary of the chapter
here, "turned away his servant yesterday evening.
. . . Halt there, Signor Arias de Londona, cried
Fabricio at that passage ; we will stick to the
church. The Licentiate Sedillo is one of my mas-
ter's friends, and I am very well acquainted with
him. I know he has for his housekeeper an old
hypocrite, called Dame Jacintha, who is complete
mistress of the family. It is one of the best houses
in Valladolid. A very idle life, and plenty of ex-
cellent meat and drink. Besides, his reverence is an
old, gouty, infirm man, likely soon to make his
will ; there is a legacy to be looked after. That is
a delightful prospect for one of our cloth ! Gil Bias,
added he, turning round to me, let us lose no time,
my friend, but go immediately to the licentiate's
house. I will introduce you myself, and give you a
character. At these words, for fear of missing such
an opportunity, we took a hasty leave of Signor
Arias, who assured me, for my money, that if I
failed here, he would do something as good for me
elsewhere,

DAME JACINTEA, HQ

BOOK THE SECOND.

CHAPTER L ,

FABRICIO INTRODUCES GIL liLAS TO THE LICENTIATE SB-
DILLO, AND PROCURES IIIM A RECEPTION. THE DOMESTIC
ECONOMY OF THAT CLERGYMAN. PICTURE OF HIS HOUSE-
KEEPER.

We were so dreadfully afraid of offending against
the regular hours of the old licentiate, that we made
but a hop, skip, and jump, from the street with one
outlet, to the prebendal residence. The gates were
barred : but we ventured to announce our arrival.
A girl of ten years old, the housekeeper's professed
niece, and slander could not gainsay the relationship,
opened the door to us. As we asked to speak with
his reverence, Dame Jacintha made her appearance.
She was a lady of ripe person and parts, but by no
means past her prime ; and I was particularly at-
tracted by the clearness of her complexion. She
wore a long woollen gown of the most ordinary
quality, with a large leathern girdle, whence himg
suspended a bimch of keys on one side, and on the
other a tremendous string of beads. As soon as we
got a glimpse of her, we made our obeisances with
3,11 possible reverence. She returned our salutation

120 ^^^ BLAS.

with similar good breeding, but with an air of
modesty, and eyes communing with the ground.

I have been told, said my fellow-servant, that the
reverend the Licentiate S^dillo wants an honest lad,
and I have one at liis service with whom he wOl be
well satisfied. The superintendent of the house-
hold turned up her eyes at these words, with a sig-
nificant side glance at me ; and, finding it difficult
to reconcile my laced jacket with Fabricio's ex-
ordium, asked if it was this fine gentleman who was
come after the place. Yes, said the son of Nunez,
it is this interesting and engaging youth. Just as
you see him, the ups and downs of this transitory
life have compelled liim to wear an epaulet ; but
fate will have made him ample amends, added he
with an aflPected languish, if he is so happy as to
be an inmate here, and to profit by the society of the
virtuous Jacintha. The patriarch of the Indies
mijjht have siofhed for the virtuous Jacintha at the
head of his establishment. At these words, this
withered branch of piety withdrew her penetrating
regards from me, to contemplate this courteous
ppokesman. Struck with certain lines which were
not new to her, in his face, I have some floating idea
of having seen you before, said she ; but my memory
wants a lift. Holy Jacintha, replied Fabricio, it is
enough for me to have been blessed with your pious
notice. Twice have I been under this venerable
, roof with my master, Signor Manuel Ordonnez,
governor of the hospital. Ah ! just so, answered
the lady chamberlain, I recollect ! You are an old

INTRODUCED TO SEDILLO. 121

acquaintance. "VVelladay now ! Your very belong-
ing to Signor Ordonnez is enough to prove you a
youth of merit and strict propriety. A servant is
known by his place, and this lad could not have a
better sponsor. Come along with me ; I avUI intro-
duce you to Signor S^dillo. I am sui*e he will be
fflad to engajje a lad at your recommendation.

We followed Dame Jacintha. The canon lived
in the lower part of the house, in a comfortable suite
of wainscoated apartments. She begged us to wait
a moment in the ante-chamber, while she went into
the licentiate's room. After some private parley
with him, merely that he might know what he was
about, she came to tell us we might walk in, AVe
kennetl the old cripple, immersed in an elbow-chair,
with a pillow under his head, cushions under his
arms, and his legs supported on a large stool,
stuffed with down. We were no niggards of our
bows as we advanced ; and Fabricio, still taking the
lead, not only repeated over again what he had said
to the housekeeper, but set about extolling my merit,
and expatiated in an especial manner on the honors
I had gained in the schools under Doctor Godinez
on all metaphysical questions : as if it was necessary
for a prebendary's footman to be as learned as his
master. However that might be, it served as a tub
to the whale. Besides, Dame Jacintha chd not look
forbidding, and my surety received the following
answer : Friend, I receive into my service the lad
you recommend. I like him well enough ; and as
for his morals, they cannot be much amiss, since he

122 GiL ELAS.

presents himself under the wing of a domestic belong-
ing to Signor Ordonnez.

As soon as Fabricio saw me safe landed, he made
a low bow to the prebendary, a still lower to the
lady, and withdrew in high good humor, whispering
in my ear that we should meet again, and that I had
only to make good my footing. As soon as he had
left the room, the licentiate inquired luy name, why
I had left my native place ; and drew me on by his
questions to relate my adventures before Dame
Jacintha. They were both highly amused, above
all by my last rencounter. Camilla and Don Raphael
gave such play to their risible muscles, that I
thought old chalkstone would have burst : for, as he
lauffhed with all his might, so violent a coujjh laid
hold of him, as went very near to have carried him
off. His will was not made. What an alarm for
the housekeeper ! Trembling, distracted, off she
flew to the good man's succor, and just like a nurse
with a puking child, paddled about his forehead and
tapped him on the back. Luckily it was a false
alarm ; the old gentleman left off coughing, and the
housekeeper tormenting liim. When it was over, I
was for going on with my narrative ; but Dame
Jacintlia, in awe of a second fit, set herself against
it. She therefore took me with her out of the room
to a wardrobe, where, among several suits, was
that of my predecessor. This I was to take, and
leave my own in its room, which I was not sorry to
see laid up safe, in the hope it might be of further
use. After this, we went together to get dinner
ready,

LUXURIOUS LIVING. 123

I knew what I was about in the art of dressing
meat. Dame Leonarda, with whom I had served
my time, might have passed for a very decent plain
cook ; but a mere turnspit to dame Jacintha. The
latter might almost have borne away the bell from
the archbishop of Toledo's man. She was mistress
of every thing ; gravy soups, of the most delicious
texture and relish ; and, for made dishes, she could
season them up, or soften them down to the most
delicate or voluptuous palate. At dinner time we
returned to his reverence's apartment. AVliile I was
arranging the grand concern close by his arm-chair,
the lady of all work crammed a napkin under the
old boy's chin, and pinned it behind his back.
Without losing a moment, in marched I with a stew,
fit to be get before the first gourmand in Madrid,
and two courses, to have tickled the gills of a vice-
roy, only that Dame Jacintha had touched the spice-
box with discretion, for fear of exasperating the
gout. At the first glimpse of this goodly mess, my
old master, whom I conceived to have lost the use
of his limbs, made me to understand that his arms
were exempted from the interdict. He availetl him-
self of their assistance, to get clear of his pillow and
cushions, and proceeded gayly to the attack. His
hand shook, to be Sure ; but some how or other it
contrived to do its duty. He sent it backwards and
forwards fast enoujjh ; thoufjh it broujjht but half
its cargo to the landing-place at a lading : the table-
cloth and napkin took toll. I carried off the soup
yf\m\ he had done, and brought in a partridge flanked,

124 ^^^ BLAS.

by two roast quails, which Dame Jacintha cut up
for him. She took care to make him take a good
draught of wine, a little lowered at proper intervals,
out of a large, deep, silver cup, which she held to
his mouth, as if he had been an infant. He winged
the partridge, and came down slap-dash upon all the
rest of the dishes. When he had done cramming,
that saint of the saucepan unpinned his napkin, re-
instated his pillow and cushions ; then, leaving him
composed in his arm-chair to the enjoyment of his
usual nap after dinner, we took away, and demol-
ished the remainder with appetites worthy of our
master.

The dinner of to-day was the ordinary bill of fare.
Our canon played the best knife and fork in the
chapter. But the supper was a mere bawbje ; seldom
more than a chicken and a little confectionery. I
larded my inside in this house, and led a good easy
life. Thei'c was but one awkward circumstance ;
and that was sitting up with my master, to save the
expense of a nurse. Besides a strangury, which
kept him on the fidget ten times in an hour, he was
very much given to perspire ; and in that event, I
shifted him. Gil Bias, said he, on the second night,
you are an active, clever fellow ; I foresee that we
shall jog on very well together. I only just give
you a hint to keep in with Dame Jacintha ; the girl
has been about me for these fifteen years, and
manages all my little matters ; she comforts my out-
ward man, and I cannot do too much for her. For
^hat reason, you are to know, that she is more to me

dATI^S FAVOR WITH HIS MASTE&. 1^5

than all my family. There is my nephew, my own
sister's son ; why I have turned him out of doors,
only to please her. He had no regard for the poor
lass : and so far from j^ivinj; her credit for all hef
little assiduities, the saucy rascal swore she did not
care a farthing for me ! But nowadays, young
people think virtue and gratitude all a farce.
Heaven be praised, I am rid of the varlet. What
claim has blood, in comparison with unquestionable
attachment? I am influenced by a give-and-take
principle in my connections. You are right, sir,
replied I ; gratitude ought to be the first thing, and
natural affection the last. Ay ! resumed he ; and
my will shall be a comment on that text. My
housekeeper shall be residuary legatee ; and you
shall have a comer in a codicil, if you go on as well
as vou have be^un. The footman I turned off ves-
terday has lost a good legacy, by not knowing where
to hit the rifjht nail on the head. If the blockhead
had not obliged me, by his ill behavior, to send him
packing, I would have made a man of him : but the
beggar on horseback jjave himself airs *to Dame
Jacintha ! Then master lazy-bones did not like
sitting u]) ! I might pass the night as I could, pro-
vided he had no trouble with me. O I the unfeel-
ing scoundrel ! exclaimed I, in the true spirit of
Fabricio, lie was not a man to be about so good a
master. The lad for your money shoukl be a hum-
ble, but confidential friend ; he should not make a
toil of what ought to be a pleasure, but think noth-
ing of going through fire and water for your ease.

126 ^it^ ^f^AS.

These professions were not lost upon the licentiate.
Neither were my assurances of due submission to
Dame Jacintha's authority less acceptable. Puffing
myself off for a servant, who was not afraid of work,
I got through my business as cheerfully as I could.
I never complained of my nursery. Though to be
sure it was irksome enough ; and if the legacy had
not settled my stomach, I should have sickened at
the nature of my employment. It is true I gofsome
hours rest during the day. The housekeeper, to do
her justice, was kind enough to me ; owing to the
insinuating manner in which I wormed myself into
her good graces. Suppose me at table, with her
and her niece Indsilla ! I changed their plates,
filled their glasses, never thought of my own dinner
before they had every thing they wanted. This was
the way to thrive in their esteem. One day when
Dame Jacintha was gone to market, finding myself
alone with In^silla, I began to make myself agree-
able. Were her father and mother alive ? O ! no,
answered she ; they have been dead this long, long
time ; for. my good aunt says they have, and I have
never seen them. I religiously believed the little
innocent, though her answer was not of the clearest ;
and she got into such a humor of talking, as to tell
me more than I wanted to know. She informed
me, or rather I inferred it from her artless simplicity,
that her good aunt had a good friend, who lived
likewise with an old canon. The temporalities of
the church were under his administration ? and these
luck^ domestics reckoned upon entwining the spoils

t)AME JACWTHA. 127

of their masters round the pillars of the hymeneal
temple, into whose sanctuary they had penetrated by
anticipation. Dame Jacintha, as I have said before,
though a little stricken in years, had still some
bloom. To be sure, she spared no pains to cherish
it : besides daily evacuations, she took plentiful
doses of all-powerful jelly. She got her sleep in the
night too, while I sat up with my master. But
what perhaps contributed most to the freshness of
this everlasting flower, was an issue in each leg,
of which I should never have known, but for that
blab In^silla.

►«•+-

CHAPTER 11.

THE CANON'S ILLNESS; HIS TREATMENT; THE CONSE-
QUENCE; THE LEGACY TO OIL BLAS.

I STAID three months with the Licentiate S^dillo,
without complaining of bad nights. At the end of
that time he fell sick. The distemper was a fever ;
and it inflamed the gout. For the first time in his
life, which had been long, he called in a physician.
Doctor Sangrjulo was sent for ; the Hippocrates of
Valladolid. Dame Jacintha was for sending for the
lawyer first, and touched that string ; but the patient
thought it was time enough, and had a little will of
his own upon some points. Away I went therefore
for Doctor Sangrado ; and brought him with me.
A tall, withered, wan executioner of the sisters three,

l^g bit bLA^.

who had done all their justice for at least these forty
years. This learned forerunner of the undertaker
had an aspect suited to his office : his words were
weighed to a scruple ; and his jargon sounded grand
in the ears of the uninitiated. His arjmments were
mathematical demonstrations : and his opinions had
the merit of originality.

After studying my master's symptoms, he began
with medical solemnity. The question here is, to
-^X, remedy an obstructed perspiration. Ordinary prac-
titioners, in this case, would follow the old routine
of salines, diuretics, volatile salts, sulphur, and mer-
cury ; but pm^es and sudOTifics are a deadly prac-
tice. Chemical preparations are edged tools in the
hands of the ignorant. My methods are more sim-
ple, and more efficacious. What is your usual diet?
I live pretty much upon soups, replied the canon,
and eat my meat with a good deal of gravy. Soups
and gravy ! exclaimed the petrified doctor. Upon
my word, it is no wonder you are ill. High living
is a poisoned bait ; a trap set by sensuality, to cut
short the days of wretched man. ,^ We must have
done with pampering our ajipetites : the more in-
sipid, the more wholesome. The human blood is
not a gravy ! Why, then, you must give it such a
nourishment as wUl assimilate with the particle of
which it is composedT You drink wine, I warrant
you? Yes, said the licentiate, but diluted. O!
finely diluted, I dare say, rejoined the physician.
This is licentiousness with a vengeance ! A fright-
ful course of feeding ! Why, you ought to have died

M. SANakADO'S PRACTICE. \^Q

years ago. How old are you ? I am in my sixty-
ninth year, replied the canon. So I thought, quoth ^^j}^"^
^ vt;he practitione'iv a prematiire old age is always the
rj consequence of intemjierjfnce'.'^ If you had only
drank clear water all your life, and had been con-
tented with plain food, boiled apples for instance, <> j-
you would not have been a martyr to the gout, and
your limljs^ %oij^d have performed their functions
with luorimy . '^ 'But I do not despair^ of setting you
on your legs again, provided you give yourself up
to my management. The licentiate promised to be
upon his good behavior.

Sanorrado then sent me for a surgeon of his own
choosing, and took from him six good porringers of
blood, by way of a beginning, to remedy this obsti- ;
nate obstruction. He then said to the surgeon ; Mas-
ter Martin Onez, you will take as much more three
hours hence, and to-mor|X)W you will repeat the oper-
ation. It is a mere vul^r error, that the blood is of
any use in the system ; the faster you draw it off, the
better. A patient has nothing to do but to keep
himself quiet : with him, to live is merely not to die ;
he haa no more occasion for blood than a man in a
trance ; in both cases, life consists exclusively in
pulsation and respiration. Wlicn the doctor had
ordered the^e frwnient and copious bleedings, he
added a drciSeh of wunn water at Aery short inter- '-t ' '
vals, maintaining that water in sufficient quantities i'^-^
was the o-rand secret in the materia medica. He
then took his leave, telling Dame Jacintha and me
with an air of confidence, that he would answer for

VOL. I. 9

130 GlL BLAS. - •

the patient's life, if his system was fairly pursued.
The housekeeper, though protesting secretly against

^this new practice, bowed to his superior authority.

L In fact, we set on the kettles in a hurry ; and, as
the physician had desired us above all things to give
him enough, we began with pouring down two or tliree X) a, (^
pints at as many gulpsv^ An hour after, we beset ~" 'i^'i-^
him again : then, returning to the attack time after
time, we fairly poured a deluge into his poor stomach.
The surgeon, on the other hand, taking out the blood
as we put in the water, we reduced the old canon to
death's door in less than two days.
V Tliis venerable ecclesiastic, able to hold it out no

s' t5;N longer, as I pledged him in a large glass of his new
*' ' — cordial, said to me in a faint voice — Hold, Gil Bias,
do not give me any more, my friend. It is j)lain
death will come when he will come, in spite of water ;
and, though I have hardly a drop of blood in my
veins, I am no better for getting rid of the enemy.

VTlie ablest physician in the world can do nothing for
us, when our time is expired. Fetch a notary ; I
will make my will. At these last words, pleasing
enough to my fancy, I affected to appear unhappy ;
and concealing my impatience to be gone : Sir, said
I, you are not reduced so low, thank God, but you
may yet recover. Xo, no, interrupted he, my good
fellow, it is all over. I feel the gout shifting, and
the hand of death is upon me. Make haste, and go
where I told you. I saw, sure enough, that he
changed every moment : and the case was so urgent,
that I ran as fast as I could, leaving him in Dame

— -" -/f .1.^,,, /."'

Jacintha's care, who was more afraid than myself of
his dying without a will. I laid hold of the first
notary I could find ; Sir, said I, the Licentiate Se-
dillo, my master, is drawing near his end ; he wants
to settle his affairs : there is not a moment to be lost.
The notary was a dapper little fellow, who loved his
joke, and inquired who was our physician. At the
name of Doctor Sangrado, hurrying on his cloak and
hat : For mercy's sake, cried he, let us set off with
all possible speed ; for this doctor despatches busi-
ness so fast, that our fraternity cannot keep pace
with him. That fellow spoils half my jobs.

With this sarcasm, he set forward in good earnest,
and, as we pushed on, to get the start of the grim
tyrant, I said to him : Sir, you arc aware that a dy-
ing testator's memory is sometimes a little short ;
should my master chance to forget me, be so good
as to put in a word in my fiivor. That I will, my
lad, replied the little proctor ; you may rely on it.
I will urge something handsome, if I have an oppor-
tunity. The licentiate, on our arrival, had still all
his faculties about him. Dame Jacintha was by his
bedside, laying in her tears by wholesale. She had
played her game, and bespoken a handsome remem-
brance. We left tlie notai'y alone with my master,
and went together into the ante-chamber, where we
met the surgeon, sent by the pliysician for another
and a last expei'iment. We laid hold of him. Stop,
Master Martin, said the housekeeper, you cannot go
into Signor S<idillo's room just now. He is giving
his last orders ; but you may bleed away when the
will is made.

U^ GIL MAS.

We were tembly afraid, this pious gentlewOttiail
and I, lest the licentiate should go off Avith his will
half finished ; but by good luck, the important deed
was executed. We saw the proctor come out, who
finding me on the watch, slapped me on the shoulder,
and said wdth a simper : Gil Bias is not forgotten.
At these words, I felt the most lively joy; and was
so well pleased with my master for his kind notice,
that I promised myself the pleasure of praying for
his soul after death, which event happened anon ;
for the surgeon having bled him once more, the poor
old man, quite exhausted, gave up the ghost under
the lancet. ^Just as he was breathing his last, the
physician made his appearance, and looked a little
foolish , notwithstanding the universality of his death-
bed experience. Yet, far from imputing the acci-
dent to tjie^.new practice, he walked off, aflSnning
with intrepidity, that it was owing to their having ;. .
been too lenient with the lancet, and too chary of ^^ ' ^
their warm water. The medical executioner, I mean
the surgeon, seeing that his functions also were at an
end, followed Doctor Sangrado.

As soon as he saw the breath out of our patron's
body. Dame Jacintha, Indsilla, and myself, joined
in a decent chorus of funeral lamentation, loud
enough to produce a proper effect in the neighbor-
hood. The emblem of a life to come, though she
had more reason than any of us to rejoice, took the
soprano part, and screamed out her afflictions in a
most pathetic manner. The room in an instant was
crowded with people, attracted less by compas&ioii •

THE LICENTIATE'S WILL. t33

than curiosity. Tlie relations of the de'ceased no
sooner got wind of" his departure than they pounced
down upon the premises, and sealed up every thing.
From the housekeeper's distress, they thought there
was no will ; but they soon found their mistake, and
that there was one without a flaw. AYhen it was
opened, and they learned the disposition of the tes-
tator's principal property, in favor of Dame Jacintha
and the little girl, they pronounced his funeral ora-
tion in terms not a little disparaging to his memory.
They gave a broad apostrophe at the same time to
the godly legatee, and a few blessings to me in my
turn. It must be owned I had earned them. The
licentiate, Heaven reward him for it, to secure my
remembrances through life^ expressed himself thus
in a pai'agrapli of his will — Item, as Gil Bias has
already some little smattering of literature , to en-
courage his studious habits, I give and bequeath
to him nty library, all my books and my tnanu-
scripts, without any di'awback or excejdion.

I coidd not conceive where this said library might
be ; 1 had never seen any. I only knew of some
papers, with five or six bound books, on two little
deal shelves in my master's closet ; and that was my
legacy. The books too could be of no great use to
me ; the title of one was. The Complete Man Cook ;
another, A Treatise on Indigestion, with the Methods
of Cure ; the rest ^^■ere the four parts of the bre^ iary ,
half eaten up by the worms. In the article of man-
uscripts, the most curious consisted of documents
relating to a lawsuit in which the prebendary was

134 GIL BLAS.

once engaged for his stall. After having examined
my legacy with more minuteness than it deserved, I
made over my right and title to these invidious rela-
tions. I even renounced my livery, and took back
my own suit, claiming my wages as my only reward.
I then went to look out for another place. As for
Dame Jacintha, besides her residue under the will,
she had some snug little articles, which by the help
of her good friend she had appropriated to her own
use durinjj the last illness of the licentiate.

■ lati-

CHAPTER III.

GIL BLAS EXTEliS INTO DOCTOR SANGRADO'S SERVICE, AND
BECOMES A FAMOUS PRACTITIONER.

I DETERMINED to throw myself in the way of
Signor Arias de Londona, and to look out for a new
birth in his register : but as I was on my way to No
Thoroughfare, who should come across me but Doc-
tor Sangrado, wliom I had not seen since the day of
my master's death. I took the liberty of touching
my hat. He kenned me in U twinkling, though I
had changed my dress ; and with as much warmth
as his temperament would allow him : lle>i day !
said he, the ^ery lad I wanted to see ; you have
never been out of my thought. I have occasion for
a clever fellow about me, and pitched upon you as
the very thing, if you can read and write. Sir, re-
plied I, if that is all you require, 1 am yom' man.

EXTERS SANGRADO'S SERVICE. I35

In that case, rejoined he, we need look no further.
Come home with me ; it will be all comfort : I shall
behave to you like a brother. You will have no
wages, but every thing will be found you. You
shall eat and drink according to the true faith, and
be taught to cure all diseases. In a word, you shall
rather be my young Sangrado than my footman.

I closed in with the doctor's proposal, in the hope
of becoming an Esculapius vmder so in^^jired a mas-
ter. He carried me home on the spur'^^f the occa-
sion, to inSftlir me in my honorable employment;
which honorable employment consisted in writing
down the name and residence of the patients who
sent for him in liis absence. There liad indeed been
a register for this [)urposc, kept by an old domestic ;
but slie had not the gitVof spelling accmnitely, and
wrote a most per2)lexing hand. This account I was
to keep. It miglit truly be called a bill of mortality ;
for my members all went from bad to worse during
the short time they continued in this system. I was
a sort of JjogkkcqHjr for the other world, to^takc
places in the stage, and to see tliat the firsf~comc
were the first served. My pen was always in my
hand, for Doctor Sangrado had more practice than
Y any physician of his time in Valladolid. He had
got into reputation with the [jiiblic by a certain pro-
fessional slang, humored by a medical face, and some
extraordinary cases, more honored by implicit faith
than scrupulous investigation.

He was in no want of patients, nor consequently
of property. He did not keep the best hcnisc in the

V.

vJ

136 GIL BLAS.

world I we lived with some little attention to econo-
my» The usual bill of fare consisted of peas, beans,
boiled apples or cheese. He considered this food as
best suited to the human stomach, that is to say, as
most amenable to the grinders, whence it was to
encounter the process of digestion. Nevertheless,
easy as was their passage, he was not for stopping
the way with too much of them : and, to be sure,
he was in the rio-ht. But thou<j:h he cautioned the
maid and me against repletion in respect of solids,
it was made up by free permission to drink as much
water as we liked. T^ar from prescribing us any
limits there, he would tell us sometimes, — Drink, /,
my children ; health consists in the pliability and ''
moisture of the parts. Drink water by pails full, it
is a universal dissolvent ; water liquefies all the /-
salts. Is the course of the blood a little slug-fjish? -^
this grand principle sets it forward : too rapid ? its , ^
career is checked. Our doctor was so orthodox on ^^ '^'
this head, that he drank nothing himself but water,
though advanced in years. He defined old age to
be a natural consumption which dries us up and
Wastes us away : on this principle, he deplored the
ignorance of those who call wine old men's milk.
He maintained that wine wears them out and cor-
rodes them, and pleaded with all the force of elo-
quence against that* liquor, fatal in common both to
the young and old, that friend with a serpent in its
bosom, that pleasure with a dagger under its girdle.
In spite of these fine arguments, at the end of a
week, a looseness ensued, with some twinges, which

TSE WATER CURE. 13^

I was blaspheflaoti^ enough to saddle on the universal
dissolvent and the new-fashioned diet. I stated my
symptoms to my master, in the hope he would relax
the rigor of his regimen, and qualify my meals with
a little wine, but liis hostility to that liquor was in-
flexible. If you have not philosophy enough, said
he, for pure water, there are innocent infusions to
strengthen the stomach against the nausea of aque-
ous quaffings. Sage, for example, has a very pretty
flavor : and if you wish to heighten it into a debauch,
it is only mixing rosemary, wild poppy, and other
simples, but no compounds.

In vain did he crack off his water, and teach me
the secret of composing delicious messes. I was so
abstemious, that, remarking my moderation, he
said, — In good sooth, Gil Bias, I marvel not that
you are no better than you are ; you do not drink
enough, my friend. Water taken in a small quanti-
ty serves only to separate the particles of bile and
set them in action ; but our practice is to drown
them in a copious (h'cnch. Fear not, my good lad,
lest a superabundance of liquid should either weaken
or chill your stomach ; far from thy better judgment
be that silly fear of vmadulterated drink, I will
insure you against all consequences ; and if my au-
thority will not serve your turn, read Celsus. That
oracle of the ancients makes an admirable panegyric
on water ; in short, he says in plain terms that those
who plead an inconstant stomach in favor of wine,
publish a Ubel on their own bowels, and make their
prganization a pretence for theii* sensuality.

138 GIL BLAS.

As it would have been ungenteel in me to have
run riot on my entrance into the career of practice,
I affected thorough conviction, indeed I thought
there was something in it. I therefore went on
drinking water on the authority of Celsus, or to
speak in scientific terms, I began to drown the bile
in copious drenches of that unadulterated liquor ;
and though I felt myself more out of order from day
to day, prejudice won the cause against experience.
It is evident, therefore, that I was in the right road
to the practice of physic^ ^^et I could not always
Jf' 2 w^^- Jbe^ insensible to the qualms which increased in my
■^ "frame, to that degree, as to determine me on quit-

^. ting Doctor Sangrado. But he invested me with a
. i'^. new office which changed my tone. Hark you, my
\j,:^^ild, said he. to me one day, I am not one of those
hfU3Liindr4mgra£efiil- -masters, who leave their house-
hold to grow gray in service without a suitable
reward. I am well pleased with you, I have a
regard for you, and without waiting till you have
served your time, I will make your fortune. With-
out more ado, I will initiate you in the healing art,
of which I have for so many years been at the head.
Other physicians make the science to consist of vari-
ous unintelligible branches ;. but I will shorten the
road for you, and dispense with the drudgery of,
studying n'atural philosophy, pharmacy, botany, and
anatomy. Kemember, my friend, that bleeding and
drinking warm water are the two grand principles ;
the true secret of curing all the distempers incident
to humanity. Yes, this marvellous secret which I

BLEEDING AND DRENCHING. 139

reveal to you, and which Nature, beyond the reach
of my colleagues, has failed in rescuing from my
pen, is comprehended in these two articles — name-
ly, bleeeding and di-enching. Here you have the
sum total of my philosophy ; you arc thoroughly
bottomed in medicine, and may raise ^m'self to the
summit of fame on the shoulders of my lojig^ experi-
ence. You may enter into partnership at once, by
keeping the books in the morning, and going out to
visit patients in the afternoon. Wliile I dose
the nobility and clergy, you shall labor in your vo-
cation among the lower orders ; and when you have
felt your ground a little, I will get you admitted
into our body. You are a philosopher, Gil Bias,
though you ha^•c ne\'er graduated ; the common herd
of tliem, tliough they have graduated in due form
and order, arc likely to run out the length of their
tether without knowing their right hand from their
left.

I thanked the doctor for having so speedily
enabled me to serve as liis deputy ; and, by way of
acknowledging his goodness, promised to follow his
system to the end of my career, with a magnanimous
indifference about the aphorisms of Hippocrates.
But that en<;a"'ement was not to be taken to the let-
ter. This tender attachment to water went against
the grain, and I had a scheme for drinking wine
every day snugly among the patients. I left off
wearing my own suit a second time, to take u[) one
of my master's, and look like an inveterate practi-
tioner, After wliich I brought my medical theories

140 GJL BLAS.

into play, leaving them to look to the event whom
it might concern. I began on an alguazil in a
pleurisy ; he was condemned to be bled with the
utmost rigor of the law, at the same time that the
system was to be replenished copiously with water.
Next I made a lodgment m the veins of a gouty
pastry cook, who roared like a lion by reason of
gouty spasms. I stood on no more ceremony with
his blood than with that of the alguazil, and laid no
restriction on his taste for simple liquids. My pre-
scriptions brought me in twelve rials ; an incident so
auspicious in my professional career, that I only
wished for the plagues of Egypt on all the hale sub-
jects of Valladohd. As I was coming out of the
pastry cook's whom should I meet but Fabricio, a
total stranger since the death of the licentiate
S(^dillo ! He looked at me with astonishment for
some seconds ; then set up a laugh with all his
might, and held his sides. He had no reason to be
grave, for I had a cloak trailing on the ground, with
a doublet and breeches of four times my natural
dimensions. I was certainly a complete original. I
suffered him to make merry as long as he liked, and
could scarcely help joining in the ridicule ; but I
kept a guard on my muscles to preserve a becoming
dignity in public, and the better to enact the physi-
cian, whose part in society is not that of a buffoon.
If the absurdity of my appearance excited Fabricio's
merriment, my affected gravity added zest to it ; and
when he had nearly exliausted liis lungs, — By aU
the powers, GU Bias, quoth he, thou art'in complete

ifSMTS wtfit fabRicio. I4l

masquerade. Who the devil has dressed you up in
this manner ? Fair and softly, my friend, replied I,
fair and softly, be a little on your good behavior
with a modern Hippocrates. Understand me to be
the substitute of Doctor Sangrado, the most eminent
physician in Valladolid. I have lived with him
these tlu-ee weeks. He has bottomed me thoroughly
in medicine ; and, as he cannot perform the obse-
quies of all the patients who send for him, I visit a
part of them to take the burden off his conscience.
He does execution in great families, I among the
vulgar. Vastly well, replied Fabricio ; that is to
say, he grants you a lease on the blood of the com-
monalty, but keeps to himself the fee-simple of the
fashionable world. I Avish you joy of your lot; it is
a pleasanter line of practice among the populace than
amonjx £:reat folk. Lonij live a snu"; connection in
the suburbs ! a man's mistakes are easily buried, and
his murders elude all but God's revenge. Yes, my
brave boy, your destiny is truly enviable ; in the
language of Alexander, were I not Fabricio, I could
wish to be Gil Bias.

To show the son of Nunez, the barber, that he
Was not much out in his reckoning on my present
happiness, I chinked the fees of the alguazil and the
pastry cook ; and this was followed by an adjourn-
ment to a tavern, to drink to their perfect recoveiy.
The wine was very fair, and my impatience for the
well-known smack made me think it better than it
was. I took some ofood lonjj draughts, and without
gainsaying the Latin oracle, in proportion .as I

poured it into its natural reservoir, I felt my accom-
modatino- entrails to owe me no ojrudnje for the hard
service into which I pressed them. As for Fabricio
and myself, we sat some time in the tavern, making
merry at the expense of our masters, as servants are
too much accustomed to do. At last, seeing the
night approach, Ave parted, after engaging to meet
at the same place on the following day after dinner.

►+«+■

CHAPTER IV.

OIL BLAS GOES ON PRACTISING PHYSIC WITH EQUAL SUC-
CESS AND ABILITY. ADVENTURE OF THE RECOVERED
RING.

I WAS no sooner at home than Doctor Sangrado
came in. I talked to him about the patients I had
seen, and paid into his hands eight remaining rials
of the twelve I had received for my prescriptions.
Eight rials ! said he, as he counted them ; mighty
little for two visits ! But we must take things as we
find them. In the spirit of taking things as he
found them, he laid A'iolcnt hands on six, giving me
the other two, — Here, Gil Bias, continued he, see
what a foundation to build upon. I make over to
you the fourth of all you may bring me. You will
soon feather your nest, my friend ; for, by the bless-
ing of Providence, there will be a great deal of ill
health this year.

I had reason to be content with my dividend;

flELD OF MliDtCAL PkACTlCE. 14^

since, having determined to keep back the third part
of what I received in my rounds, and afterwards
touching another fourth of the remainder, half of the
whole, if the arithmetic is any thing more than a
deception, would become my perquisite. This
inspired me with new zeal for my profession. The
next day, as soon as I had dined, I resumed my
medical paraphernalia, and took the field once more.
I visited several patients on the list, and treated
their several complaints in one invariable routine.
Hitherto things went on under the rose, and no in-
dividual, thank Heaven, had risen up in rebellion
against my prescriptions. But let a pliysician's
cures be as extraordinary as they will, some quack
or other is always ready to rip up his reputation. I
was called in to a grocer's son in a dropsy. Whom
should I find there before me but a little black look-
ing physician, l)y name Doctor Cuchillo, introduced
by a relation of the family. I bowed round most
profoundly, but dipped lowest to the personage
whom I took to have been invited to a consultation
with me. lie returned my com})liment with a dis-
tant air ; then, having stared me in the face for a few
seconds, — Signor Doctor, said he, I beg pardon for
being inquisitive, I thought I had been acquainted
with all my brethren in Vallodolid, but I confess
your physiognomy is altogether new. You must
have been settled but a short time in town. I
avowed myself a young practitioner, acting as yet
under the direction of Doctor Sangrado. I wish
you joy, replied he politely, you are studying under

ill ^^i^ ■^^^^■S-

a great man. You must doubtless have seen a vast
deal of sound practice, young as you appear to be.
He spoke this with so easy an assurance, that I was
at a loss whether he meant it seriously, or was
laughing at me. Wliile I was conning over my
reply, the grocer, seizing on the opportunity,
said, — Gentlemen, I am persuaded of your both
being perfectly competent in your art ; have the
goodness without ado to take the case in hand, and
devise some effectual means for the restoration of my
son's health.

Thereupon the little pulse-counter set himself
about reviewing the patient's situation ; and after
having dUated to me on all the symptoms, asked me
what I thouofht the fittest method of treatment. I am
of opinion, replied I, that he should be bled once a
day, and drink as much warm water as he can swal-
low. At these words, our diminutive doctor said
to me, with a maUcious simper, — And so you think
such a course will sa^e the patient ? Xever doubt
it, exclaimed I, in a confident tone ; it must produce
that effect, because it is a certain method of cure for
all distempers. Ask Signor Sangrado. At that
rate, retorted he, Celsus is altogether in the wrong ;
for he contends that the readiest way to cure a drop-
sical subject is to let him almost die of hunger and
thirst. O ! as for Celsus, interrupted I, he is no
oracle of mine, as fallible as the meanest of us ; I
often have occasion to bless myself for going con-
trary to his dogmas. I discover by your language,
said Cuchillo, the safe and sure method of practice

bEFENCH OF SANGRADO. 145

Doctor Sangrado instils into his pupils. Bleeding
and drenching are the extent of his resources. No
wonder so many worthy people are cut off under his
direction. . . . No defamation ! interrupted I, with
some acrimony ; a member of the faculty had better
hot begin throwing stones. Come, come, my learned
doctor, patients can get to the other world without
bleeding and warm water ; and I question whether
the most deadly of us has ever signed more pass-
ports than yourself. If you have any crow to pluck
with Signor SangTado, write against him, he will
answer you, and we shall soon see who Avill have the
best of the battle. By all the saints in the calendar !
swore he, in a transport of passion, you little know
whom you are talking to. I have a tongue and a
fist, my friend ; and am not afraid of Sangrado, who,
with all his arrogance and aifectation, is but a ninny.
The size of the little death-dealer made me hold, his
anger cheap. I gave him a sharp retort ; he sent
back as good as I brought, till at last we came
to cuffs. We had pulled a few handfuls of hair from
each other's heads before tlic grocer and his kinsman
could part us. AVTien they had brought this about,
they feed me for my attendance, and retained my
antagonist, whom they thought the more skilful of
the two.

Another adventure succeeded close on the heels
of this. I went to sec a huge chanter in a fever.
As soon as he heard me talk of warm water, he
showed himself so averse to this specific, as to fall
into a fit of swearing. He abused me in all possi-

VOL. I. 10

146 GIL BLAB.

ble shapes, and threatened to tlirow me out at win-
dow. I was in a greater hurry to get out of his house
than to get in. I did not choose to see any more
patients that day, and repaired to the inn where I
had agreed to meet Fabricio. He was there first.
As we found ourselves in a tippHng humor, we drank
hard, and returned to our employers in a pretty
pickle, that is to say, so-so in the upper story.
Signor Sangrado was not aware of my being drunk,
because he took the lively gestures which accompa-
nied the relation of my quarrel with the little doc-
tor, for an effect of the agitation not yet subsided
after the battle. Besides, he came in for his share in
my report ; and feeling himself nettled by Cuchillo,
— You have done well, Gil Bias, said he, to de-
fend the character of our practice against this little
abortion of the faculty. So he takes upon him to
set his face against watery drenches in dropsical
cases? An ignorant fellow! I maintain, I do, in
my own person, that the use of them may be recon-
ciled to the best theories. Yes, water is a cure for
all sorts of dropsies, just as it is good for rheuma-
tisms and the green sickness. It is excellent, too,
in those fevers where the effect is at once to parch
and to chill, and even miraculous in those disorders
ascribed to cold, thin, phlegmatic, and pituitous hu-
mors. This opinion may appear strange to young
practitioners like Cuchillo ; but it is right orthodox
in the best and soundest systems : so that if persons
of that description were capable of taking a philo-
sophical view, instead of crying me dovni, they would
become my most zealous advocates.

McoMitfM t'Pojf Water. 147

In his rage, he never suspected me of drinking :
for, to exasperate him still more against the little
doctor, I had thrown into my recital some circum-
stances of my own addition. Yet, engrossed as he
was by what I had told him, he could not help taking
notice that I drank more water than usual that
eveningr.

In fact, the wine had made me very thirsty. Any
one but Sangrado would have distrusted my being
80 very dry, as to swallow down glass after glass :
but as for him, he took it for granted, in the simpli-
city of his heart, that I began to acquire a relish for
aqueous potations. Apparently Gil Bias, said he,
with a gracious smile, you have no longer such a
dislike to water. As Heaven is my judge ! you
quaff it off like nectar. It is no wonder, my friend,
I was certain you would take a liking to that liquor.
Sir, replied I, there is a tide in the affairs of men :
with my present lights, I would give all the wine in
Valladolid for a pint of water. This answer de-
lighted the doctor, who would not lose so fine an
opportunity of expatiating on the excellence of
water. He undertook to ring the changes once
more in its praise, not like a hireling pleader, but
as an enthusiast in the cause. A thousand times,
exclaimed he, a thousand and a thousand times of
greater value, as being more innocent than our
modern taverns, were those baths of ages past,
whither the people went, not shamefully to squander
their fortunes and expose their lives by swilling
themselves with wine, but assembled there for the

148 6/L niAg.

decent and economical amusement of drinkino; waftti
water. It is difficult enough to admire the patriotic
forecast of those ancient politicians, who established
places of public resort, where water was dealt out
gratis to all comers, and who confined wine to the
shops of the apothecaries, that its use might be pro-
hibited, but under the direction of physicians.
What a stroke of wisdom ! It is doubtless to pre-
serve the seeds of that antique frugaUty, emblematic
of the golden age, that persons are found to this
day, like you and me, who drink nothing but water,
and are persuaded they j)Ossess a prevention or a
cure for every ailment, provided our warm water
has never boiled ; for I have observed that water,
when it has boiled, is heavier, and sits less easily on
the stomach.

While he was holding forth thus eloquently, I
was in danger more than once of splitting my sides
with laughing. But I contrived to keep my coun-
tenance : nay, more ; to chime in with the doctor's
theory. I found fault with the use of wine, and
pitied mankind for having contracted an untoward
relish to so pernicious a beverage. Then, finding
my thirst not sufficiently allayed, I filled a large
goblet with water, and after having swilled it like
a horse : Come, sir, said I to my master, let us
drink plentifully of this beneficial liquor. Let us
make those eUrly establishments of dilution you so
much regret, to live again in your house. He
clapped his hands in ecstacy at these words, and
preached to me for a whole hour about suffering no

FINDS A PATIENT IN CAMILLA. 149

liquid but water to pass my lips. To confirm the
habit, I promised to drink a large quantity every
evening ; and , to keep my word with less violence
to my private inclinations, I went to bed with a
determined purpose of going to the tavern every
day.

The trouble I had got into at the grocer's did not
discourage me from plilebotomizing and prescribing
warm water in the usual course. Coming out of a
house where I had been visiting a poet in a frenzy,
I was accosted in the street by an old woman, who
came up and asked me if I was a physician. I said
yes. As that is the case, I entreat you with all
humility to go along with me. My niece has been
ill since yesterday, and I cannot conceive what is
the matter with her. I followed the old lady to her
house, where I was shown into a very decent room,
occupied by a female who kept her bed. I went
near, to consider her case. Her features struck me
from the first ; and I discovered beyond the possi-
bility of a mistake, after having looked at her some
little time, the she-adventurer, who had played the
part of Camilla so adroitly. For her part she
did not seem to recollect me at all, whether from
the oppression of her disorder, or from my dress as a
physician rendering mc not easy to be known again.
I took her by the hand, to feel her pulse ; and saw
my ring iq)on her finger. I was all in a twitter at
the discovery of a valuable, on which 1 had a claim
both in law and equity. Great was my longing to
pifijce a snatch at it ; but considering that these fair

150 ^^^ BLAS.

ones would set up a great scream, and that Don
Raphael or some other defender of injured inno-
cence might rush in to their rescue, I laid an em-
bargo on my privateering. I thought it best to
come by my own in an honest way, and to consult
Fabricio about the means. To this last course I
stuck. In the mean time the old woman urged me
to inform her with what disease her niece was trou-
bled. I was not fool enough to own my ignorance ;
on the contrary, I took upon myself as a man of
science, and after my master's example, pronounced
solemnly that the disorder accrued to the patient
jfrom the defect of natural perspiration ; that conse-
quently she must lose blood as soon as possible,
because if we could not open one pore, we always
open another : and I finished my prescription with
warm water, to do the thing methodically.

I shortened my visit as much as possible, and ran
to the son of Nunez, whom I met just as he was
going out on an errand for his master. I told Imn
my new adventure, and asked his ad^•ice about lay-
inof an information ajjainst Camilla. Pooh ! Non-
sense ! replied he ; that would not be the way to get
your ring again. Those gentry think restitution
double trouble. Call to mind your imprisonment at
Astorga ; your horse, your money, your very
clothes, did not they all centre in the hands of jus-
tice ? We must rather set our wits to work for the
recovery of yoiu* diamond. I take on myself the
charge of inventing some stratagem for that purjiose.
I will deliberate on it in my way to the hos2)ital,

ADVENTURES OF THE STOLE X RING. 151

where I have to say but two words from my master
to the purveyor. Do you wait for me at our house
of call, and do not be on the fret : I will be with
you shortly.

I had waited, however, more than tlu-ee hours at
the appointed place, when he arrived. I did not
know him again at first. Besides that he had
changed his di'ess and platted his hair, a pair of
false whiskers covered half his face. He wore an
immense sword with a hilt of at least three feet in cir-
cumference, and marched at the head of five men
of as swaggering an air as himself, with bushy
whiskers and long rapiers. Good day to you,
Signor Gil Bias , said he by way of salutation ;
behold an alguazil upon. a new construction, and
marshalmen of like materials in these bra%c fellows
my companions. We have only to be shown where
the woman lodges who purloined the diamond, and
we will obtain restitution, take my word for it. I
hugged Fabricio at this discourse, which let me into
the })lot, and testified loudly my approval of the ex-
pedient. I paid my respects also to the masquerad-
ing marshalmen. They were three servants and two
journeymen barbers of his acquaintance, whom he
had enjjaffcd to act tliis farce. I ordered wine to be
served round to the detachment, and we all went to-
gether at ni<T|;htfall to Camilla's residence. The door
was shut, and we knocked. The old woman, taking
my companions to be on the scent of justice, and
knowing they would not come into that neighborhood
for nothing, was terribly frightened. Cheer up again,

152 ^^^ BLAS.

good mother, said Fabricio ; we are only come here
upon a Httle business which will be soon settled.
At these words we made oiu* entrv, and found our
way to the sick chamber, under the guidance of the
old dowager who walked before us, and by favor of
a wax taper which she carried in a silver candlestick.
I took the light, went to the bed-side, and, making
Camilla take particular notice of my features. Trait-
ress, said I, call to mind the too credulous Gil Bias
whom you have deceived. Ah ! thou wickedness
personified, at last I have caught thee. The corre-
gidor has taken down my deposition, and ordered
this alguazil to arrest you. Come, officer, said I to
Fabricio, do your duty. There is no need, replied
he, swelling his voice, to inflame my severity. The
face of that wretch is not new to me : she has lonjj
been marked with red letters in my pocket book.
Get up, my princess, dress your royal person with
all possible despatch. I will be your squire, and
lodge you in durance vile, if you have no objection.
At these words, Camilla, ill as she was, observing
two marshalmen with laro-e whiskers readv to drag
her out of bed by main force, sat up of herself,
clasped her hands in an attitude of supplication ;
and looking at me ruefully, said, Signor Gil Bias,
have compassion on me : I call as a witness to my
entreaties the chaste mother whose virtues you in-
herit. Guilty as I am, my misfortunes are greater
than my crimes. I will give you back your diamond,
so do not be my ruin. Speaking to this effect, she
^ew my ring from her finger, and gave it me back.

TREATMENT BY THE OFFICERS. I53

But I told her my diamond was not enough, and that
she must refund the thousand ducats they had em-
bezzled in the ready-furnished lodging. O ! as fol^
your ducats, replied she, ask nje not about them.
That false-hearted deceiver, Don Rfiphael, whom I
have not seen from that time to tliis, carried them
off the very same night. O, ho ! my little darling,
said Fabricio in liis turn, that will not do, you had a
hand in the robbery, whether you went snacks in the
profit or no. You will not come off so cheaply.
Your having been accessary to Don Raphael's ma-
noeuvres is enough to render you liable to an exam-
ination. Your past life is very equivocal ; and you
must have a good deal upon your conscience. You
will have the goodness, if you please, just to step
into the town jail, and there unburden yourself by a
general confession. This good old lady shall keep
you company : it is hard if she cannot tell a world
of curious stories, such as Mr. Corregidor will be
delighted to hear.

The two women, at these words, brought every
engine of pity into play to soften us. They filled
the air with cries, complaints, and lamentations.
Wliile the old woman on her knees, sometimes to
the alguazil and sometimes to his attendants, en-
deavored to melt their stubborn hearts, Camilla im-
plored me, in tlie most touching terms, to save her
from the hands of justice. I pretended to relent.
Officer, said I to the son of Xunez, since I have got
my diamond, I do not much care about any thing
flse. It would be no pleasure to me to be the meaiia

154 GIL BLAS.

of pain to tliat poor woman ; I want not the death
of a sinner. Out upon you, answered he, you set
up for humanity ! you would make a bad tipstaff.
I must do my errand. My positive orders are to
arrest these virgins «f the sun ; his honor the cor-
regidor means to make an example of them. Nay !
for mercy's sake, replied I, pay some little deference
to my wishes, and slacken a little of your severity,
on the ground of the present these ladies are on the
point of offering to your acceptance. O ! that is
another matter, rejoined he ; that is what you may
call a figure of rhetoric suited to all capacities and
all occasions. Well, then, let us see, what have
they to give me? I have a pearl necklace, said
Camilla, and drop ear-rings of considerable value.
Yes ; but interrupted he roughly, if these articles
are the produce of the Philippine Isles, I will have
none of them. You may take them in perfect safety,
replied she : I warrant them real. At the same time
she made the old woman bring a little box, whence
she took out the necklace and ear-rings, which she
put within the grasp of this incorruptible minister.
Though he was much such a judge of jewelry as
myself, he hjid no doubt of the drops being real,
as well as the pearls. These trinkets, said he, after
having looked at them minutely, seem to be of good
quality and fashion : and if the silver candlestick is
thrown into the bargain, I woidd not answer to my
own honesty. You had better not, said I in my
turn to Camilla, for a trifle, reject so moderate and
fair a composition. While uttering these Avords, I

SEQUEL OF THE ADVENTURE. 155

returaed tJie taper to the old woman, and handed the
candlestick over to Fabricio, who, stopping there
because perhaps he espied nothing else that was
portable in tlie rooni, said to the two women : Fare-
well, my dainty misses, set your hearts at rest, I
will report you to his worship the corregidor, as
purer than unsmutched snow. We can turn him
round our finger ; and never tell him the truth, but
when we are not paid for om* lies.

CHAPTER V.

SEQUEL OF THE FOREGOINO ADVENTURE. GIL BLAS RETIRES
FROM PRACTICE, AND FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF VAL-
LADOLID.

After having thus carried Fabricio's plan into
effect, we took our leave of Camilla's lodging, hug-
ging ourselves on a success beyond our expectation :
for we had only reckoned on the ring. We carried
off without ceremony all we could get besides. Far
from making it a point of conscience not to steal
from a description of ladies whose names are com-
monly associated with rogues, we thought to cover
some scores of other sins by so meritorious an ac-
tion. Gentlemen, said Fabricio, when we were in
the street, my counsel is for returning to our ta^'ern,
and devoting the night to a regale. To-morrow we
will sell the candlestick, the necklace, the drop car-
rings, and then share the prize money like brother

156 ^^^ BLAS.

adventurers, after which every man shall tramp home
again, and make the best excuse he can to his mas-
ter. His worship the alguazU's idea seemed equally
brig] it and judicious. We returned rank and file to
the tavern, some in the pious hope of finding a plau-
sible excuse for having slept abroad, others in a des-
perate indifference about being turned out of doors
without a character.

We ordered a good supper to be got ready, and
sat down to table with our physical and mental
powers in full vigor. The relish was heightened
by a thousand pleasant anecdotes. Fabricio, of all
men in the world, having the happy knack of a chair-
man in a company of jovial spirits, kept the table in
a roar. There escaped from him I know not how
many charges of true Castilian wit, worth more
either in the schools of philosophy or the exchange
of commerce than the drug of Attic salt. While
we were in a full peal of laughter, we were made to
laugh on the other side of our mouths by an unforeseen
occurrence. There appeared at table a man of no
contemptible prowess, followed by two other as ill-
looking dogs as ever existed. After tliis specimen
we had three others, and reckoned up to a dozen,
marching in by triplets. They were armed with
carbines, swords and bayonets. We could not mis-
take their oflSce, and were at no loss to guess their
business. At first we had a mind to be refractory ;
but they beset us in an instant, and kept us under,
as much by their numbers as by their weapons.
Gentlemen, said the captain commandant in a jeey"*

AbbREss op The cAPta}^. I57

ing strain, I have been informed by Avhat ingenious
artifice you have recovered a ring from the custody
of a lady no better than she sliould be. Undoubt-
edly, the device was admirable, and Avell deserves a
civic crown ; the patriotism of our poHce will not be
found wanting. Justice, with her lodgings to let
for gentry of your description, will not be deficient
in her acknowledgments for so brilliant a display of
genius. The company to whom this introductory
addi'css was directed looked a little sheepish on the
occasion. Our countenances fell ; and Camilla had
her full revenge. Fabricio, however, though pale
and puzzled, made an attempt at a defence. Sir,
said he, we did it in the innocence of om- hearts,
and of coiu-se we shall be forgiven this not immoral
fi'aud? What the devil, replied the commandant in
a rage, do you call this not immoral fraud? Moral
or immoral, it may bring you to the gallows. Be-
sides that the power of restitution is too sacred to be
assumed by the individual, you have made away with
a candlestick, a necklace, and a pair of drop ear-
rings : and what is worse, you have committed your
rascalities in the livery of the law. Scomidrels
dressing themselves up like the pillars of morahty
to undermine its very foundation ! I shall wish you
much joy if you are condemned to nothing worse
than mowingf the salt marsh. When we had im-
pressed it on our convictions that the affair was even
more serious than our first fears, we threw ourselves
on his mercy, and implored him to have pity on our
tender years, but his stubborn heart was relentless.

158 diL iiLAS.

He rejected moreover the proposal of relinquishing
the necklace, ear-rings and candlestick ; nay, he was
deaf to the rhetoric of my ring : perhaps because I
offered it before too many witnesses : in short, he
was the most obdurate dog of his kennel. He or-
dered my companions to be handcuffed, and sent us
in a body to the public prison. As we were on our
way, one of the marshalmen acquainted me that
Camilla's old vixen, suspecting us not to be licensed
scouts of justice, had dogged us to the tavern ; and
having satisfied her doubts, in revenge informed
against us to the patrol.

We were searched in the first instance. Away
went the necklace, the ear-rings, and the candlestick.
They picked my pocket of my ring, and my ruby of
the Philippine Isles ; without even sparing the few
fees I had received in the forenoon for my prescrip-
tions : so that it was plain, trade was carried on by
the same firm at Valladolid as at Astorga, and that
all these reformers held the same creed. While
they rifled me of my trinkets and money, the lord
in waiting of the patrol made knowTi our adventure
to the inferior agents of legal rapine. The trespass
appeared so audacious that the majority voted it
capital. A few kind souls were of opinion that we
might come off for two hundred lashes a piece, with
a few years on board the galleys. Waiting his wor-
ship's sentence, we were locked up in a cell, where
we lay upon straw, spread over our stable like a lit-
ter for horses. There might we have foddered for an
age, and at last liave been turned out to grass in the

Mleased from prisoU. 159

galleys, if on the morrow Signor Manuel Ordonnez
had not got wind of our affair, and determined to
release Fabricio ; which he could not do without
making a general gaol delivery. lie was a man
of the first credit in the town : his interest was ex-
erted for us, and partly by his own influence, and
partly by that of his friends, he obtained our en-
largement at the end of three days. But the period
of delivery is always moulting time with gaol birds ;
the candlestick, the necklace, the ear-rings, my ring,
and the ruby, all were left behind. One could not
help repeating those excellent lines of Virgil, begin-
ning with 8ic vos 71071 vobis.

As soon as we were at lil)erty, we returned to our
masters. Doctor Sangrado received me kindly. My
poor Gil Bias, said he, it was but this morning I
was acquainted with thy misfortune. I was just
setting about an active canvass for thee. We must
derive comfort from adversity, my friend, and attach
ourselves more tlian ever to the practice of physic.
I affirmed that to be my intention ; and, in trutli, I
laid about me. Far from wanting employment, it
happened by a kind providence, as my master had
foretold, to be a very sickly season. Tlie smallpox,
and a very malignant fever, took alternate possession
of the town and the suburbs. All the pliysicians in
Valladolid had tlicir share of business, and we not
the least. AVe saw eight or ten patients a day ; so
that the kettle was kept on the simmer, and the
blood in the action of transpiring. But things wdl
happen cross ; they died to a man, either by our

160 ^^^ BLAS.

fault or their own. If their case was hopeless, we
were not to blame ; and if it was not hopeless, they
were. Three visits to a patient was the length of
our tether. About tlie second, we sometimes ran
foul of the undertaker ; or when we had been more
fortunate than usual, the patient had got no further
than the point of death. As I was but a young
physician, not yet hardened to the trade of an as-
sassin, I grieved over the melancholy issue of my
own theory and practice. Sir, said I, one evening
to Doctor Sangrado, I call Heaven to witness on the
spot that I have never strayed from your infallible
method ; and yet I have never saved a patient : one
would think they died out of spite, and were on the
other side of the great medical question. This very
day I came across two of them , going into the coun-
try to be buried. My good lad, replied he, my ex-
perience nearly comes to the same point. It is but
seldom I have the pleasure of curing my kind and
partial friends. If I had less confidence in my prin-
ciples, I should think my prescriptions had set their
faces against the work they were intended to perform.
If you will take a hint, sir, replied I, we had better
vary our system. Let us give, by way of experi-
ment, chemical preparations to our patients : the
worst they can do is to tread in the steps of our j)m'e
dilutions and our phlebotomizing evacuations. I
would willingly give it a trial, rejoined he, if it were
a matter of indiiference, but I have published on the
practice of bleeding and the use of drenches : would
you have me cut the throat of my own fame as an

i'HEY DO TEIiniBLE EXECUTION. 1^1

author! O, you are in the right, resumed I; our
enemies must not gain this triumph over us ; they
would say tliat you were out of conceit with your
own systems, and would ruin your reputation for
inconsistency. Perish the people, perish rather our
nobility and clergy ! But let us go on in the old
path. After all, our bre thorn of the faculty, with
all their tenderness about bleeding, have no patent
for longevity any more than ourselves ; and we may
set off their drugs against our specifics.

We went on working double tides, and did so
much execution , that in less than sLx weeks we made
as many widows and orphans as the siege of Troy.
The plague must have got into Valladolid by the
number of funerals. Day after day came some
father or other to know Avhat was become of his son,
who was last seen in our hands ; or else a stupid fel-
low of an imcle, who had a foolish hankering after a
deceased nephew. With respect to the nephews and
sons, on whose uncles and fathers we had equalized
our system of destruction, they thought that least
said was soonest mended. Husbands were alto-
gether on their good behavior — they would not split
a hair about the loss of a wife or two. The real
sufferers to whose reproaches Ave were exposed, were
sometimes quite savage in their grief; without being
mealy-mouthed in their expressions, they called us
blockheads and assassins. I was concerned at their
bad language ; but my master, Avho Avas up to every
circumstance, listened to their abuse Avith the utmost
indifference. Yet I miiiht have fjroAvn as callous as

AOL. I. 11

162 (^IL JBLAS.

himself to popular reproach, if heaven, interposing its
shield between the invalids of Valladolid and one of
their scourges, had not providentially raised up an
incident to disgust me with medicine, which from the
outset had been disgusted with me.

The idle fellows about town assembled every day
in our neio-hborhood for a o;ame at tennis. Among:
the number was one of those professed bullies who
tset up for great Dons, and are the complete cocks
of the tennis court. He was a Biscayan, and as-
sumed the title of Don Koderic de Mondragon. His
age might be about thirty. His size was somewhat
above the common, but he was lean and bony. Be-
sides two sparkling little eyes rolling about in his
head, and throwing out defiance against all bystand-
ers, a very broad nose came in between a pair of red
whiskers, which turned up like a hook as high as the
temples. His phraseology was so rough and un-
couth that the very sound of his voice would throw
a quiet man into an ague. This tyrant o^er both the
rackets and the game was lord paramount in all dis-
putes between the players ; and there was no appeal
from his decisions, but at the risk of receiving a
challenge the next day. Precisely as I ha\'e drawn
Signor Don Rodcric, whom the Don in tlie fore-
ground of his titles could never make a gentleman,
Signor Don Roderic was sweet upon the mistress of
the tennis-court. She was a woman of forty, in good
circumstances, as charming as forty can well be, just
entering on the second year of her widowhood. I
know not how he made himself agreeable ; certainly

LSAVSS dr. SA^GRAbO. 1(^,3

Hot by liis exterior recommendations, but probably
by that within which passeth show. However that
might be, she took a fancy to him, and began to turn
her thoughts towards the holy state of matrimony ;
but while that gi'eat event was in agitation, for the
punishment of her sins, she was taken with a malig-
nant fever, and with me for a physician. Had the
disorder been ever so slight, my practice would have
made a serious job of it. At the expiration of four
days, there was not a dry eye in the tennis-court.
The mistress joined the outward-bound colony of my
patients, and her family administered to her effects.
Don Roderic, distracted at the loss of his mistress,
or rather disappointed of a good establishment, was
not satisfied with fretting and fuming at me, but
swore he would run me through tlie body, or even
frown me into a non-entity. A good-natured neigh-
bor apprised me of this vow, with a caution to keep
at home, f(jr fear of coming across this devil of a fel-
low. This warning, though taken in good part, was
a source of anxiety and apprehension. I was eter-
nally fancying the enraged Biscayan laying siege to
the outworks of my citadel. There was no getting
a moment's respite from alarm. This circumstance
weaned me from the practice of medicine, and I
thought of nothing but deliverance from my horrors.
On went my embroidered suit once more. Taking
leave of my master, who did all he could to detain
me, I got out of town with the dawn, not heedless
of that terrible Don Roderic, who might waylay me
on the road.

164 ^^^ ^^^^'

CHAPTER VI.

HIS ROUTE FROM VALLADOLID, WITH A DESCRIPTION OF HIS
FELL 0 W- TRA VELLER.

I TRUDGED on at a great rate, and looked behind
from time to time, to see if that dreadful Biscay an
was not following me. Mj imagination was so
engrossed by the fellow that he haunted me in every
tree and bush ; my heart was in my mouth for fear
at eAery foot-fall. But I took courage again at the .
distance of about a league, and went on more gently
towards Madrid, whither I proposed directing my
steps. I had no attachment to Valladolid. All my
regret was at tearing myself from Fabricio, my dear
Pylades, of whom I had not so much as taken my
leave. It was no grievance to give up physic ; on the
contrary, I prayed Heaven to forgive me for having
tampered witli it. Yet I did not count over the con-
tents of my purse with less pleasure, because they
were the washes of murder. In this I took after those
ladies who retire with a fortune to lead pious lives,
and think it hard if they may not fatten religiously
on the hard earnings of their libertine profession.
I had, in rials, somewhere about the value of five
ducats, and this was the sum-totarof my property.
With these I designed repairing to Madrid, where I
had no doubt of finding a good service. Besides, I
wished above all thino;s to be in that maonificent
city, the boasted epitome of the world and all its
wonders.

GIL BLAS ON THE ROAD. Ig5

While I was recollecting Avluit I had heard of it,
and enjoying beforehand the pleasures it affords, I
heard the voice of a man coming after me, and sing-
ing till he had scraped liis throat. lie had a wallet
on his back, a guitar suspended from his neck, and
a long sword by his side. He got on at sucli a rate,
as soon to overtake me. Who should it be but one
of the two journeymen barbers with whom I had been
in <i[aol for tlie adventure of the rino;. We knew one
another at once, though we had shifted our dresses,
and were in a thousand marvels at meeting so unex-
petttedly on the highway. If I testified my delight at
havinjT such a fellow-traveller, he seemed on his side
to feel an excess of rapture at the renewal of our
acquaintance. I told him wliy I had left Valladolid,
and he trusted his own secret to me in return, by
stating himself to have had a little brush with his mas-
ter, on which tliey had taken an e^■crlasting leave of
one another. Had it been my pleasure, continued
he, to have taken up my abode longer in Valladolid,
ten sliops would take me in for one that would have
turned me out ; since, vanity apart, I may safely say
there is not a barber in all Spain better qualified to
shave all sorts of beards, with the grain or against
the grain, and to curl a pair of whiskers. But I
could no longer figlit against a liaukering after my
native place, whence I departed full ten years since.
I wisli to inhale a little of my own country air, and
to learn tlie present situation of my family. I shall
be among them the day after to-morrow, at a place
called Olmedo, a populous village on tliis side of
Segovia.

166 G!7L BLAS.

I resolved on accompanying this barber home, and
going to Segovia for the chance of a cast to Madrid.
We began entertaining one another with indifferent
subjects as we went along. The young fellow was
perfectly good-humored, with a ready wit. After
an hour's conversation, he asked me if I was hungry.
I referred him to the first house of call for my an-
swer. To stop dilapidations till Ave get there, said
he, Ave may renew our term by a little breakfast from
my wallet. When I am on a journey I am always
my own caterer. None of your woollen drapery,
nor linen drapery, nor any of your frippery or
trumpery. I hate ostentation. My AvaUet contains
nothing but a little exercise for my grinders, my
razors, and a Avash-ball. I extolled his discretion, and
agreed with all my lieart to the bargain he proposed.
My appetite was keen and sharp-set for a comfort-
able meal ; after Avliat he had said, I could expect
no less. We drew aside a little from the high road,
and sat doAvn upon the grass. There my little jour-
neyman barber laid out liis proA'isious, consisting of
five or six onions, Avith some scraps of bread and
cheese ; but the best lot in the auction Avas a little
leathern bottle, full, as he said, of choice, delicate
wine. Though the solids were not very relisliing,
the calls of hunger did not allow eitlier of us to be
dainty ; and Ave emptied the bottle too, containing
about two ])ints of a \\ine one could not recommend
without some remorse of conscience. AVe then rose
from table, and set out again on the tramp in liigh
glee. The barber, who had heard some little

THE JOURNEYMAN BARBER'S STORY. Ifi7

snatches of my story from Fabricio, entreated me
to fui-nish him with the whole from the best author-
ity. It was impossible to refuse so munificent an
host ; I therefore gave him the satisfaction he re-
quired. In my turn I called on him, as an acknowl-
edgment of my frankness, to comnumicate the lead-
ing circumstances of his terrestrial peregiinations.
O ! as for my adventures, exclaimed he, they are

scarcely worth recording a mere catalogue of

common occurrences. Nevertheless, since we have
nothing else to do, I will run over the narrative,
such as it is. At the same time he entered on the
recital, nearly in the following terms.

CHAPTER VII.

THE JOURNEYMAN BARBER- S STORY.

I TAKE up my tale from the origin of things. My
grandfather, Ferdinand Perez de la Fuenta, barber-
general to the village of 01ni(^do for fifty years, died,
leaving four sons. The eldest, Nicholas, succeeded
to the shop, and lathered himself into the good
graces of the customers. Bcrtrand, the next, hav-
ing taken a fancy to trade, set up for a mercer ; and
Thomas, who was the third, turned schoolmaster.
As for the fourth, by name Pedro, feeling within
himself the \\vA\ destinies of learnino;, he sold a
dirty acre or two which fell to his share, and went

168 ^^^ BLAS.

to settle at Madrid, where he hoped one daj to dis-
tinguish himself by his genius and erudition. The
other three brothers would not part ; they fixed
their quarters at Olmddo, marrying peasants' daugh-
ters, who brought their husbands very little dowry,
except an annual present of a chopping young rustic.
They had a most pubhc-spirited emulation in child-
bearing. My mother, the barber's wife, favored the
world with a contribution of six within the first five
years of her marriage. I was among the number.
My father initiated me betimes in the mysteries of
shaving ; and when he saw me grown up to the age
of fifteen, laid this wallet across my shoulders, pre-
sented me with a long sword, and said Go, Die-
go, you are now qualified to gain your own liveli-
hood ; go and travel about. You want a little ac-
quaintance with the world to give you a polish, and
improve you in your art. Off with you ! and do not
return to Olm^do till you have made the tour of
Spain, nor let me hear of you till that is accomplished.
Finishing with this injunction, he embraced me with
fatherly affection, and shoved me out of doors by
the shoulders.

Such were the parting benedictions of my sire.
As for my mother, who had more the touch of
nature in her manners, she seemed to feel somewhat
at my departure. She dropped a few tears, and
even slipped a ducat by stealth into my hand. Thus
was I sent from Olmddo into the wide world, and
took the road of Se""OA'ia. I did not fjo two hun-
dred yards without stopping to examine my bag. 1

THE JOURNEYMAN BARBER'S STORY. IQQ

had a mind to view its contents, and to know the
precise amount of my possessions. Tliere I found
a case with two razors, which must have travelled
post over the chins of ten generations, by the evi-
dence of their wear and tear, with a strap to set
them, and a bit of soap. In addition to this, a
coarse shirt quite new, a pair of my father's shoes
quite old, and what rejoiced me more than all the
rest, a rouleau of twenty rials in a linen bag. Be-
hold the sum-total of my personals. You may con-
clude master Nicholas, the barber, to have reckoned
a good deal on my ingenuity, by his turning me
adrift with so slender a provision. Yet a ducat and
twenty rials, by way of fortune, was enough to turn
the head of a young man unaccustomed to money
concerns. I fancied my stock of cash inexhausti-
ble ; and pvu'sued ray journey in the sunshine of
brilliant anticipation, looking from time to time at
the hilt of my rapier, while the blade was striking
against the calf of my leg at every step, or tripping
up my heels.

In the evening I reached the village of Ataquin^s
with a very catholic stomach. I put up at the inn ;
and, as if I meant to spend freely, asked, in a lofty
tone, what there was for su[)pcr. The landlord
examined my pretensions with his eye, and finding
according to what cloth my coat was cut, said with
true publican's civility. Yes, yes, my worthy mas-
ter, you shall have no reason to complain ; we will
treat you like a lord. With this assurance, he
showed me into a little room, whither he brought

170 G/L BIAS.

me, a quarter of an hour afterwards, a ragout made
of a great he cat, on which I feasted with as famous
an appetite as if it had been hare or rabbit. This
excellent dish was washed down by so choice a wine,
that the king had no better in his cellars. I found out,
however, that it was pricked ; but that was no hin-
drance to my doing it as much honor as the he cat. The
last article in this entertainment for a lord was a bed
better adapted to drive sleep away than to invite it.
Figure it to yourself about the width of a coffin, and
so short that I could not stretch my legs, though
none of the longest. Besides, there was neither
mattress nor feather bed, but merely a little straw
sewed up in a sheet folded double, which was laid
down clean for e^ery hundreth traveller, and served
the other ninety-nine, one after another, without
washing. Nevertheless, in such a bed, with a
stomach distended to a surfeit by fricaseed cat, and
then raked by sour wine, thanks to youth and a
good constitution, I slept soundly, and passed the
nio'ht without beinj^ disturbed.

On the following day, Avhen I had breakfasted,
and paid the reckoning, as I had been treated like a
lord, I made but one stage to Segovia. On my
arrival, I had the good fortune to find a shop, where
they took me in for my board and lodging ; but I
staid there only six months ; a journeyman barber,
with whom I got acquainted, was going to Madrid,
and drew me in to set oflP with him. I had no diffi-
culty in procuring a situation on the same footing as
at Segovia, I got into a shop of the very best

THE JOURNEYMAN BARBER'S STORY. 171

custom. It is true, it was near the church of the
Holj Cross, and that the neighborhood of the
Prince's Theatre broujjht a jjreat deal of business.
My master, two stirring fellows and myself, could
scarcely lather the chins of the people who came to
be sha^ ed. They were of all trades and conditions ;
iimong the rest, players and authors. One day,
two persons of the last description happened to
meet. They began conversing about the poets and
pieces in vogue, when one of them mentioned
my uncle's name : a circumstance which drew my
attention more particularly to tlieir discourse. Don
Juan de Zavaleta, said one, will never do any good
as an author. A man of a cold genius, without a
spark of fancy ! he has written himself down at a
terrible rate by his last publication. And Louis
Velez de Guevara, said the other, what has he
done ? A fine work to bring before the public !
Was there ever any thing so wretched ? They men-
tioned, I know not how many poets besides, whose
names I have forgotten : I only recollect that they
said no good of them. As for my uncle, they made
a more honorable mention of him, a<>reein": that he
was a personage of merit. Yes, said one, Don
Pedro de la Fuenta is an excellent author ; there is
a sly humor in his compositions, blended with solid
sense, which communicates an attic poignancy to
their general cftect. I am not surprised at his popu-
larity, both in court and city, nor at the pensions
settled on him by the great. For many years past,
said the other, he has enjoyed a very large income.

172 ^^^ BIAS.

He lives at the Duke de Medina Cell's table, and
has an apartment in his house, so that he is at no
expense ; he must be very well in the world.

I lost not a syllable of what these poets were say-
ing about my uncle. We had learned in the family,
that he made a noise in Madrid by his works ; some
travellers, passing through Olmddo, had told us so ;
but as he took no notice of us, and seemed to have
weaned himself from all natural ties, we on our side
lived in a state of perfect indifference about him.
Yet nature will prevail : as soon as I had heard that
he was in a fair way, and had learned where he
lived, I was tempted to go and call upon him.
One tiling staggered me a little ; the literati had
styled him Don Pedro. This don was an awkward
circumstance : I had my doubts whether he might
not be some other poet of the name, and not my
uncle. Yet that apprehension did not damp my
ardor. I thought he might have been ennobled for
his wit, and determined to pay him a visit. For
this purpose, with my master's lea^'c, I tricked my-
self out one morning as well as I could, and sallied
from our shop, a little proud of being nephew to a
man who had gained so high a character by his
genius. Barbers are not the most diffident people
in the world. I began to conceive no mean opinion
of myself: and riding the high horse with all the
arrogance of greatness, enquired my way to the
Duke de Medina Cell's palace. I rang at the gate,
and said, I wanted to speak with Signor Don Pddro
de la Fuent^, The porter pointed with his finger

flW JOURNEYMAN BAtlBER'S STORY. \1^.

to a narrow staircase at the fag end of the coiu-t,
and answered, — Go up there, then knock at the
first door on your right. I did as he directed
me ; and knocked at a door. It was opened by a
young man, whom I asked if those were the apart-
ments of Signor Don Pddro de la Fuenta. Yes,
answered he, but you cannot speak to him at pres-
ent. I should be very glad, said I, just to say,
How are you? I bring him news of his fiimily.
And you brought him news of the pope, replied he,
I could not introduce you just now. He is writing,
and while his wits are at work, he must not be dis-
turbed, lie will not be able to receive company till
noon ; take a tin-n, and come back about that time.
I departed, and walked about town all the morn-
ing, incessantly meditating on the reception my
uncle would give me. I think, said I witliiu my-
self, he will be overjoyed to see me. I measured
liis feelings by my own, and prepared myself for a
Aery affecting discovery. I returned punctually to
the appointed hour. You are just in time, said the
servant ; my master was going out. Wait here a
moment : I will announce you. AVith these words,
he left me in the ante-chamber. lie returned almost
immediately, and shoAved me into his master's room.
The face struck me all at once as a family likeness.
To be sure he was the very image of my uncle
Thomas ; they might have been taken for twins. I
bowed down to the ground, and introduced myself
as the son of Master Nicholas de la Fuenta, the
barber of Olmddo. I likewise informed him, that I

174 GIL niAs.

had been working at my father's trade in Madrid,
for these three weeks, as a journeyman, and intended
making the tour of Spain to complete my educa-
tion. While I wajp speaking, my uncle was evi-
dently in a brown study. He seemed to doubt
whether he should disown me at once, or get rid of
me with some little sacrifice to decency. The latter
course he adopted. Affecting the affable : Well, my
good kinsman, how are your father and your uncles?
Do they get on in the world? I began thereupon
by laying before him the family knack at propaga-
tion. All the children, male and female, called
over by their names, with their godfathers and god-
mothers included in the list ! He took no extrava-
gant intei'estin the particulars of my tale ; but, lead-
ing to his own purposes, Diego, replied he, I am
quite of your mind. You should go from place to
place, and see a variety of practice. I would not
have you tarry longer at Madrid : it is a very dan-
gerous residence for youth ; you may get into bad
habits, my sweet fellow. Other to\^^ls Avill suit you
better ; the state of society in the provinces is more
patriarchal and philosophical. Determine on emi-
gration ; and when your departure is fixed, come
and take your leave. I will contribute a pistole to
the tour of Spain. With this kind assurance, he
handed me out of the room, and sent me packing.

I had not worldly Avisdom enough to find out that
he wanted to get quit of me. I went back to our
shop, and gave my master an account of the visit I
had paid. He looked no deeper than myself into

THE JOVliXEYMAiV HAkBIiR'a sfoitV. 175

Signor Don Pedro's motives, and observed : I can-
not help differing from your worthy uncle, so far
from advising you to travel the provinces, the real
thing would be, in my opinion, to give you a com-
fortable settlement in this city. He is hand-and-
glove with the first people ; it is an easy matter
for him to establish you in a great family ; and that
is a fortune at once. Struck with this lucky dis-
covery, which seemed to settle the point without
difficulty, I called on my uncle again two days
afterwards, and made a modest proposal to him for
a situation about some leading character at court.
But the hint was not taken kindly. A proud man,
living at free quarters among the great, and dining
with them in a family party, did not exactly wish
that, while he was sitting at my lord's table, his
nephew should be a guest in the servants' hall.
Little DiejTo mifjlit brinjj a scandal on Sijjnor Don
P(jdro. He had no hesitation, therefore, in fairly
turning me out of doors, and that with a flea in my
ear. What, you little rascal I said he, in a fit of ex-
travagance, do you mean to relinquish your calling?
Begone, I consign you to the reptile whose per-
nicious counsels will be your ruin. Take your leave
of these premises, and never set your foot on them
again, or you shall have the reception you deserve !
I was absolutely stunned at this language, and still
more at the peremptory tone my uncle assumed.
With tears in my eyes I withdrew, quite overcome
by his severity. Yet, as I had always been lively
and confident in my temper, I soon wiped away my

17^ GIL SlAS.

tears. My grief was even turned into resentment,
and I determined to take no further notice of this
unnatural relative, whose kind offices I had hitherto
been contented to want.

My attention was henceforth directed to the culti-
vation of my professional talent ; I was quite a
plodding fellow at my trade. I scraped away all
day ; and in the evening, by way of relief to my
scraping, I twanged the guitar. jVIy master on that
instrument was an old Senor Escudey-o whom I
shaved. Pie taught me music in return ; and he
was an adept. To be sure lie had formerly been a
chorister in a cathedral. His name was Marcos de
Obregon. He was a man of the world, with good
natural parts and acquired knowledge, which jointly
induced him to fix on me as an adopted son. He
was engaged as an attendant on a physician's lady,
resident within thirty yards of our house. I went
to him in the evening, when shop was shut, and we
two, sitting on the threshold of the door, made up a
little concert not displeasing to the neighborhood.
It was not that our voices were very fine ; but in
thrumming on the catgut, we made a pretty regular
accompaniment to our duet, and filled up the har-
mony sufficiently for the gratification of our hearers.
Our music was particularly agreeable to Donna
Mergelina, the physician's wife ; she came into the
passage to hear us, and sometimes encored us in her
favorite airs. Her husband did not interfere with
her amusement. Though a Spaniard and in years,
he was not possessed with jealousy ; besides, his pro-

The JoVRlStEtMAlf BARBER'S STORT. 177

Session took up all his time ; and as he came home
in the evening, worn out with his numerous visits,
he went to bed at an early hour, without troubling
himself about his wife or our concerts. Possibly,
if he thought about them at all, he might consider
them as little likely to produce dangerous conse-
quences. He had an additional security in his wife.
Mergelina was young and handsome with a witness ;
but of so fierce a modesty, that she started at the
very shadow of a man. How could he take umbrage
at an amusement of so harmless and decorous a
nature? He gave us leave to sin<j our hearts out.

One evening, as I came to tlie physician's door,
intending to take my usual recreation, I found the
old squire waiting for me. He took me by the
hand : saying that he wished to take a little walk
with me, before we struck up our little concert. At
the same time he drew me aside into a by-street,
where, finding an opportunity of opening his mind :
Diego, my good lad, said he with a melancholy air,
I want to give you a hint in private. I much fear,
my good and amiable youth, that we shall both have
reason to repent of beguiling our evenings with little
musical parties at my master's door. Rely on my
sincere friendship : I do not gi'udge your lessons in
singing and on the guitar ; but if I could have fore-
seen the storm now brewing, in the name of charity,
I would have selected some otlicr spot to communi-
cate my instructions ! This address alarmed me. I
entreated the gentle squire to be more expHcit, and
to tell me what we had to fear ; for I was no Hector,

VOL. I. 12

l7^ OIL liLAH.

and the tour of Spain was not yet finished. I will
relate to you, repHed he, what it concerns you to
know, that you may take proper measure of our
present danger.

When I got into the service of the physician, about
a year ago, he said one morning, after having intro-
duced me to his wife : There, Marcos, you see your
mistress ; that is the lady you are to accompany in
all her peregrinations. I was smitten with Donna
Mergelina : she was lovely in the extreme, a model
for an artist, and her principal attraction was the
pleasantness of her deportment. Honored sir, re-
plied I to the physician, it is too great a happiness
to be in the train of so charming a lady. My
answer was taken amiss by Mergelina, who said
rather crustily, A pleasant gentleman this ! He is
perfectly free and easy. Believe me, his fine
speeches may go a begging for me ! These words,
dropped from such lovely lips, seemed rather incon-
sistent ; the manners and ideas of bumpkins and
dairy-maids coupled with all the graces of the most
lovely woman in the world ! As for her husband,
he was used to her ways ; and, hugging himself on
the unrivalled character of his rib, Marcos, said he,
my wife is a miracle of chastity. Then, observing
her put on her veil, and make herself ready to go to
mass, he told me to attend on her at church. We
were no sooner in the street than we met, and it was
no wonder, blades who, struck with Donna Merge-
lina's genteel carriage, told her a thousand flattering
tales as they passed by. She was not backward ia

tME JOURNEYMAN^ BARBElt'S STOHY'. Hg

ner answers ; but silly and ill-timed, beyond what
you can conceive. They were all in amaze, and
could not imagine how a woman should take it amiss
to be complimented. Why really ! madam, said I
to her at first, you had better be silent, or shut your
ears to their addresses, than reply with asperity.
No, no, replied she : I will teach these coxcombs
that I am not a woman to put up with impertinence.
In short, her absurdity went so far, that I could not
help telling her my mind, at the hazard of her dis-
pleasure. I gave her to understand, yet with the
greatest possible caution, that she was unjust to
nature, whose handiwork she marred by her pre-
posterous ferocity ; that a woman of mild and pol-
ished manners might inspire love without the aid of
beauty ; whereas the loveUest of the sex, divested of
female softness, was in danger of becoming the pub-
lic scorn. To this ratiocination, I added collateral
arguments, always directed to the amendment of her
manners. After having moralized to no purpose, I
was afraid my freedom might exasperate my mis-
tress, and draw upon me some taunting repartee.
Nevertheless, she did not mutiny against my advice ;
but silently rendered it of no avail, and thus we went
on from day to day.

I was weary of pointing out her errors to no pur-
pose, and gave her up to the ferocious temperament
of her nature. Yet, could you think it ? the savage
humor of that proud woman is entirely changed
within these two months. She has a kind word for
all the world, and manners the most accommodating.

180 6/1 BLAS.

It is no longer the same Mergelina who gave such
homely answers to the compliments of her swains :
she is become assailable by flattery ; loves to be told
she is handsome, that a man cannot look at her with-
out paying for it : her ears itch for fine speeches,
and she is become a very woman. Such a change is
blmost inconceivable : and the best of the joke is,
that you are the worker of this unparalleled miracle.
Yes, my dear Diego, it is you who have transformed
Donna Mergelina ; you have softened down the
tigress into a domestic animal ; in a word, you have
made her feel. I have observed it more than once ;
and never trust my knowledge of the sex, if she is
not desperately in love with you. Such, my dear
boy, is the melancholy news I have to communicate
— the awkward predicament in which we stand.

I do not see, said I in my turn to the old man,
that there is any thing so melancholy in this ac-
cident, or any peculiar awkwardness in being the
object of a pretty woman's partiaUty. Ah ! Diego,
repHed he, you argue like a young man : you only
see the bait, without guarding against the hook :
pleasure is your lure ; while my thoughts are directed
to the unpleasant circumstances attending it. Mur-
der will out. If you go on singing at our door, you
will provoke Mergelina's passion ; and she, prob-
ably, losing all command over herself, will betray
her weakness to her husband. Doctor Oloroso. That
wretched husband, so complying now that he thinks
there is no ground for jealousy, will run wild, take
signal vengeance upon her, and perhaps play some

THE JOURNEYMAN BARBER'S STORY. 181

dog's trick or other to you and mc. Well, then !
rejoined I, your reasons shall be couciusive with me,
and your sage counsels my rule. Lay down the
line of conduct I am to adopt, for the prevention of
any left-handed catastrophe. We will have no more
concerts, was his peremptory decree. Do not show
yourself any more to my mistress : when the sight
of you does not inflame her, she will recover her
composure. Stay within doors : I will call in upon
you, and we will torture the guitar with impunity.
With all my heart, said I, and I will never set my
foot again in your premises. In good truth, I was
determined to serenade no longer before the phy-
sician's door, but henceforth to keep within the pre-
cints of my shop, since my attractions as a man
were so formidable.

In the meantime, good Squire Marcos, with all his
prudence, experienced in the course of a few days
that the plan he had devised to quench Donna
Mergelina's flame produced a directly opposite effect.
The lady on the second night not hearing me sing,
asked why we h:id tliscontinued our concerts, and
the reason of my absence. He told her I was so
busy as iliot to have a moment to spare for relaxa-
tion. She seemed satisfied A\ath that excuse, and
for three days longer bore the disappointment of all
her hopes like a heroine ; but at the end of that
period, my martyr to the tender passion lost all
patience, and said to lier conductor, You are play-
ing false with me, Marcos ; Diego has not discon-
tinued his visits without a cause. This mystery

182 GIL BLAS.

must be unravelled. Speak, I command you ; con-
ceal no tiling from me ! Madam, answered he, mak-
ing use of another subterfuge, since the truth must
be told, it has often happened to him to find the
cloth taken away at home after the concert ; he can-
not run the risk any longer of going to bed without
his supper. What, without his supper ! exclaimed
she in an agony, why did not you teU me so sooner ?
Go to bed without liis supper ! O ! the poor little
sufferer ! Go to him this instant, and let him come
again this evening ; he shall not go home star%'ing
any more, there shall always be a luncheon for him.
What do I hear? said the squire, affecting aston-
ishment at this language; O, Heaven, what a re-
verse ! Is this you, madam, and are these your
sentiments ? Well-a-day ! Since when are you so
compassionate and tender-hearted? Since, replied
she significantly, since you have lived in this house,
or rather since you disapproved my disdainful man-
ners, and have labored to soften the acrimony of my
temper. But, alas ! added she, in a melting mood,
I have gone from one extreme to the other. Proud
and insensible as I was, I am become too suscepti-
ble— too tender. I am enamoured of your young
friend Diego, and I cannot help myself; his absence,
far from allaying my ardor, only adds fuel to the fire.
Is it possible, resumed the old man, that a young
fellow with neither face nor person should have in-
spired so strong a passion ? I could make allowance
for your feelings, if they liad been set afloat by some
noblenjan of distinguished merit. , . . Ah 1 Marcos,

THE JOURNEYMAN BARBER'S STORY. 183

interrupted INIergelina, I am not like the rest of my
sex ; or, rather, spite of your long experience, your
penetration is but shallow if you fancy merit to have
much share in our choice. Judging by myself, we
all leap before we look. Love is a mental derange-
ment, forcibly drawing all our views and attachments
into one vortex — a species of hydrophobia. Have
done then with your hints that Diego is not worthy
of my tenderness ; that he has it is enough to invest
him with a thousand perfections too ajtherial for yom*
gross siglit, and perhaps too unsubstantial for any
but a lover's perception. In vain you disparage his
features or his stature ; in my eyes he was created
to undo, and encircled by the hand of Nature with
the glories of the opening day. Nay, more, there is
a thrilling sweetness in his voice ; his touch on the
guitar has the taste of an amateur, and the execution
of a professor. But, madam, subjoined Marcos, do
you consider who Diego is ? Tlie meanness of his
station. . . . My own is very little better, inter-
rupted she again ; though were I of noble birth, it
would make no diiference in my sensations.

The result of that conference was that the squire,
concluding he should make no impression on the
mind of his mistress, mive over stru<;fjlin<2: with her
obstinacy, as a skilful pilot runs before the storm,
though it carries him out to sea from his intended
port. He did more : to satisfy his patroness, he })aid
me a visit, took me aside, and, after having related
what had passed between them : You sec, Diego,
eaid he, that we cannot dispense with the perform-

184 <5!7L BLAS.

ance of our concerts at Mergelina's door. Absolutely,
my friend, that lady must see you again ; otherwise
she may commit some act of desperation fatal to her
good name. 1 was not inexorable, but answered
Marcos that I would attend with my guitar early in
the evening ; and dispatched him to his mistress
with the happy tidings. lie executed his office, and
the impassioned dame was out of her wits with joy,
in the delicious prospect of hearing and seeing me
in a few hours.

A most disagreeable circumstance, however, was
very near disappointing her in that hope. I could
not leave home before night, and, for my sins, it was
dark as pitch. I went groping along the street, and
had got, may be, half way, when down from a win-
dow came upon my head the contents of a perfuming-
pan, which did not tickle my olfactory nerves very
pleasantly. I may say that not a wliiff was wasted,
so exactly had the giver taken measure of the re-
ceiver. In this situation I was at a loss on what to
resolve : to go back by the way I came, what an ex-
hibition before my comrades ! It was surrendering
myself to all their nasty witticisms. Then, again, go
to Mergelina in such a glorious trim, that hurt my
feelings on the other side. I determined, at length,
to get on towards the physician's. The old usher
was waiting for me at the door. He ^aid that Doc-
tor Oloroso was gone to bed, and we might amuse
ourselves as we liked. I answered that the first
thing was to purify my drapery, at the same time
relating my misfortune. He seemed to feel for me,

TEE JOURNEYMAN BARBER'S STORY. 185

and showed me into a hall where his mistress was
sitting. As soon as the lady got wind of my ad-
venture, and had confirmed the testimony of her nose
by the evidence of her eyes, she mourned over me as
grievously as if my miseries had been mortal; then,
apostrophising the absent cause of my foul array, she
uttered a thousand imprecations. Well, but. Madam !
said Marcos, do moderate this ecstasy of grief ; con-
sider that such casualities will happen ; there is no
occasion to take on so bitterly. Why ! exclaimed
she with vehemence, why would you debar me from
the privilege of weeping over the injuries of this
tender lamb, this dove without gall, who does not so
much as murmur at the affront lie has sustained?
Alas ! why am I not a man at tliis moment to
avenge him !

She uttered numberless soothing expressions
besides, to mark distinctly the excess of her devo-
tion, and her actions corresponded with her words ;
for while jNIarcos was employed in wiping me down
with a towel, she ran into her chamber and brought
out a box furnished with every variety of perfumes.
She burned sweet-smelling drugs, and perfumed my
clothes with them, after which she drenched me in a
deluge of essences. The fumigation and aspersion
ended, this bountiful lady went herself and fetched.
From the kitchen, bread, wine, and some good slices
of roast mutton, set by on purpose for me. She
forced me to eat, and, taking a pleasure in waiting on
me, sometimes carved fur me, and sometimes filled
jny glass, in spite of all that Marcos and myself

186 GIL BIAS.

could do to anticipate her condescension. When I
had done supper, the gentlemen of the orchestra
struck the key-note, and tuned their sweet voices to
the pitch of their guitars. We played and sung to
the heart's deli2:ht of Mer^elina. To be sure we
took care to carol none but amorous ditties ; and, as
we sung, I every now and then leered at her with
such a roguish meaning, as to throw oil upon the
fire, for the game began to be interesting. The
concert, though the acts were long, was not tedious.
As for the lady, to whom hours seemed to fly like
seconds, she could have been content to exhaust the
night in listening, if the old squire, with whom the
seconds seemed to lag like hours, had not hinted
how late it was. She gave him the trouble of en-
forcing his moral on the lapse of time by at least ten
repetitions. But she was in the hands of a man not
to be turned aside from liis purpose ; he let her have
no rest till I was gone. Sensible and provident as
he was, seeing his mistress given up to a mad pas-
sion, he dreaded lest our harmony should be resolved
by some discord. His fears were ominous : the
physician, whether his mind misgave him of some
foul play, or the spirit of jealousy, hitherto on its
good behavior, had a mind to harass him gratuitous-
ly, bethought himself of quarrelling with our con-
certs. He did more, he put a broad negative upon
them ; and, without assigning his reasons for acting
in this violent way, declared that he would suffer no
more strangers to come about his premises.
- Marcos acquainted me with this mortifying decla-

TEE JOURNEYMAN BARBER'S STORY. 187

ration, particularly levelled against my rising hopes.
I had begun bobbing at this dainty cherry, and did
not like to lose my game. Nevertheless, to act the
part of a faithful reporter and true historian, I must
own my impatience did not affect my health or
spirits. Not so with Mergelina, her feelings were
more alive than ever. My dear Marcos, said she to
her usher, it is only from you that I look for succor.
Contrive, I beseech you, that I may see Diego in
private. What do you require? asked the old man,
with a reproachful accent. I have been but too
indulgent to you. I am not a person to crown your
wanton wishes at the expense of my master's honor,
your good fame, and my own eternal infamy — the
infamy of a man whose past life has been one con-
tinued series of faithflil service and exemplary con-
duct. I had rather leave the family than stay in it
on such scandalous conditions. Alas ! Marcos, in-
terrupted the lady, frightened out of her wits at
these last words, you wring my heart by talking in
this manner. Obdurate man ! Can you bear the
thought of sacrificing her who lays all her present
agony to your account? Give me back my former
pride, and that savage soul you have taken from me.
Why am I no longer happy in my very imperfec-
tions? I might now have been at peace, but your
rash counsels have robbed me of the repose I then
enjoyed. You, the corrector of my manners, have
tampered with my morals. . . . But why do I rave,
unhappy wretch that I am ? why upbraid you thus
wrongfully? No, my guardian angel, you are ^ot

188 GIL BLAS.

the fatal source of all my miseries ; my evil destiny
had decreed these tortures to await me. Lay not to
heart, I conjure you on my knees, these transports
of a disordered imagination. Oh mercy ! my pas-
sion drives me mad ; have compassion en my weak-
ness ; you are my sole support and stay ; if, then, my
life is not indifferent to you, deny me not your aid.

At these words, her tears flowed in fresh torrents,
and stifled her lugubrious accents. She took out her
handkerchief, and, throwing it over her face, fell into
a chair, like a person overcome by her affliction.
Old]\larcos, Avho was perhaps one of the most tracta-
ble go-betweens in the world, could no longer
steel his heart against so touching a spectacle.
Pierced to the quick, he even mingled his tears with
those of his mistress, and spoke to her in a softened
tone : AX\ ! madam, why are you thus bewitching I
I cannot hold out against your sorrowful complaints ;
my virtue yields under the pressure of my pity. I
promise you all the relief in my power. No longer
do I marvel at the oblivious influence of passion over
duty, since mere sympathy can mislead my footsteps
from its thorny paths. Thus did tliis pander, whose
past life had been one continued series of faithful
service and exemplary conduct, sell himself to the
devil to feed Merjjelina's illicit flame. One mornlnfj
he came and talked over tlie whole business with me,
saying, at his departure, that he had a scheme in his
head, to bring about a private Interview between us.
At the thijught, my liopes were all re-kindled ; but
^hey glimmered tremblingly in the socket at a piece

flt^ JOURyEf^MA^' BARBER'S StORY. \^^

6fnews I heard two hours afterwards. A journey-
man apothecary in the neighborhood, one of our cus-
tomers, came in to be shaved. While I was making
ready to trim his bushy honors, he said, Master
Diego, do you know an>i;hing about your friend, the
old usher, Marcos de Obreo^on ? Is not he ffoinoj to
leave Doctor Oloroso? I said, No. But he is,
though, replied he ; he will get his dismission this
very day. His master and mine were talking about
it just now in my hearing, and their conversation
was to the following effect : Signor Apuntador,
said the physician, I have a favor to beg of you. I
am not easy about an old usher of mine, and should
like to place my wife under the eye of a trusty,
strict, and vigilant duenna. I understand you, in-
tennapted my master. You want Dame Melancia,
my wife's directress, and indeed mine for the last six
weeks, since I have been a widower. Though she
would be very useful to me in housewifery, I give
her up to you, from a paramount regard to your
honor. You may rely u{)on her for the security of
your brow ; she is the phoenix of the duenna tribe
— a spring-gun and a man-trap set in the purlieus
of female chastity. During twelve whole years that
she was about my wife, whose youth and beauty,
you know, were not without their attractions, I
never saw the least semblance of manhood within my
doors. No, no ! By all the powers ! That game
was not so easily played. And yet I must let you
know that the departed saint, Heaven rest her soul !
had in the outset a great hankering after the delights

of the flesh ; but Dame Melancia cast her in a heW
mould, and regenerated her to virtue and self-denial.
In short, such a guardian of the weaker sex is a
treasure, and you will never have done thanking me
for my precious gift. Hereupon the doctor expressed
his rapture at the issue of the conference ; and they
agreed, Signor Apuntador and he, on the duenna's
succeeding the old usher on this very day.

This news, which I thought probable, and turned
out to be true, disturbed the pleasurable ideas, just
beginning to flow afresh, and renovate my soul.
After dinner, Marcos completed the convulsion, by
confirming the young drug-pounder's story : My dear
Diego, said the good squire, I am heartily glad that
Doctor Oloroso has turned me oflf; it spares me a
world of trouble. Besides that it hurt my feelings
to be invested with the office of a spy, endless must
have been the shifts and subterfuges to bring you
and Mergelina together in private. W^e should have
been rarely gravelled ! Thanks to Heaven, I am set
free from all such perplexing cares, to say nothing
of their attendant danger. On your part, my dear
boy, you ought to be comforted for the loss of a few
soft moments, which must have been dogged at the
heels by a thousand fears and vexations. I relished
Marcos' sermon well enough, because my hopes were
at an end — the game was lost. I was not, it must
be confessed, among the number of those stubborn
lovers who bear up against every impediment ; but
though I had been so. Dame Melancia would have
made me let go my hold. The established character

!ttl^ JOVRNEfMAN dARBER'H SfORf. Igl

bf that duenna would have daunted the adventiu-ous
epu'it of a knight-errant. Yet, in whatever colors
this phoenix of the duenna tribe miglit have been
painted, I had reason to know, two or three days
afterwards, that the physician's lady had unset the
man-trap and spring-gun, and given a stop to this
watch-dog of lubricity. As I was going out to
shave one of our neighbors, a civil old gentlewoman
stopped me in the street, and asked me if my name
was Diego de la Fuenta. I said. Yes. That being
the case, replied she, I have a little business with you.
Place yourself this evening at Donna Mergelina's
door ; and when you are there, give a signal, and
you shall be let in. Vastly well ! said I, what must
the signal be ! I can take off a cat to the life : sup-
pose I was to mew a certain number of times ! The
very thing, replied this Iris of intrigue ; I will carry
back your answer. Your most obedient, Signor
Diego ! Heaven protect the sweet youth ! Ah !
you are a pretty one ! By St. Anges, I wish 1 was
but sweet fifteen, I would not go to market for other
folks ! "With tliis hint, the old procuress waddled
out of sight.

You may be sure this message put me in no small
flutter. Where now was the morality of Marcos ?
I waited for night with impatience, and, calculating
the time of Doctor Oloroso's going to bed, took my
station at his door. There I set up my caterwaul-
ing, till you might hear me ever so far off, to the
eternal honor of the master who instructed me in
that imitative art. A moment after, Mergelina

192 ^^^ ^LAs.

opened the door softly with her own dear hands,
and shut it again with me on the inside. We went
into the hall, where our last concert had been per-
formed. It was dimly lighted by a small lamp,
which twinkled in the chimney. We sat down side
by side, and began our tender parley, each of us
overcome by our emotions, but with this difference,
that hers were all inspired by pleasure, while mine
were somewhat tainted by fear. In vain did the
divinity of my adorations assure me that we had
nothing to fear from her husband. I felt the access
of an ague, which unmanned my vigor. Madam,
said I, how have you eluded the vigilance of yoiu*
directress ? After what I have heard of Dame Me-
lancia, I could not have conceived it possible for you
to contrive the means of sending me any intelli-
gence, much less of seeing me in private. Donna
Mergelina smiled at this remark, and answered :
You will no longer be surprised at our being to-
gether to-night, ^^'hen I tell you what has passed
between my duenna and me. As soon as she came
to her place, my husband paid her a thousand com-
pliments, and said to me : Mergelina, I consign you
to the guidance of this wary lady, herself an abstract
of all the 'vdrtues : in this glass you may look with-
out a blush, and array yourself in habits of wisdom.
This extraordinary personage has for these twelve
years been a light to the ways of an apothecary's
wife of my acquaintance ; but how has she been a
light to them ? . . . why, as ways never were en-
lightened before : she turned a very slippery piece
of mortal flesh into a downrifyht nun.

fllE JOURNEYMAN BAitBER'S STORY, 19^

This panegyric, not belied by the austere mien of
Dame Melancia, cost me a flood of tears, and re-
duced me to despair. I fancied the din of eternal
lectures from morning till night, and daily rebukes
too harsh to be endured. In short, I laid my ac-
count in a life of wretchedness, beyond the patience
of a woman. Keeping no measures in the expecta-
tion of such cruel sufferings, I said bluntly to the
duenna, the moment I was alone with her : You
mean, no doubt, to exercise your tyranny most wan-
tonly on my poor person ; but I cannot bear much
severity, I warn you beforehand. I give you, more-
over, fair notice, that I shall be as savage as you can
be. My heart cherishes a passion, which not all
your remonstrances shall tear from it : so 3*ou may
act accordingly. Watch me as closely as you please ;
it is hard if I cannot outwit such an old thing as
you. At these taimting Avords, I thought this sara-
cen in petticoats was going to give me a specimen
of her discipline. But, so far from it, she smoothed
her brow, relaxed her surly features, and, primming
up her mouth into a smile, promulgated this com-
fortable doctrine : Your temper charms me, and your
frankness calls for a return. We must have been
made for one another. Ah ! lovely ]Mergelina, little
do you fathom my character, to be deceived by the
fine complinients of your husband the Doctor, or by
my Tartar contour I There was never a creature
more fortified against moral prejudices ! My induce-
ment for getting into the service of jealous husbands
is to lend myself to the enjoyments of their pretty

VOL. I. 13

194 GIL BLA^.

wives. Long have I trodden the stage of life in
masquerade ; and I may call myself doubly happy,
in the spiritual rewards of virtue, and the temporal
indulgences of the opposite side. Between our-
selves, mine is the system of all mankind in the
long run. Real virtue is a very expensive article :
plated goods look just as well, and are within the
reach of all purchasers.

Put yourself under my direction. We will make
Doctor Oloroso pay the piper to our dancing, or I
am no duenna. By my troth, he shall go the way
of Signor Apuntador and all mankind. There is no
reason why the forehead of a physician should be
smoother than the broAv of an apothecary. Poor
dear Apuntador ! What fun have we had with him,
his wife and I ! A charming woman, that wife of
his ! A dear little creature, open to all mankind,
and prejudiced by none ! Well ! she is at peace,
and has not left her fellow behind her ! Take my
word, short as her time was, she made the most of
it. Let me see how many rampant chaps have been
brought to their bearings in that house, without the
dear, deluded husband being waked out of his even-
ing's nap ! Now, madam, you may see me in my
true light ; and assure yourself, whatever might be
the abilities of your old usher, you will not fare the
worse for going further. If he was a benefit to you,
I shall be a blessing.

You may judge for yourself, Diego, continued
Mergelina, how well I took it of the duenna, that
she laid herself open so frankly. I had taken her

THE JOURNEYMAN BARBER'S STORY. 105

virtue to be of the impenetrable cast. Look you,
now, how much women are liable to be scandalized.
But her character of plain dealing won my heart at
once. I threw my arms about her neck in a rapture,
which bespoke my warm and tender feelings at the
thouojhts of such a mother-abbess. I gave her carte
blanche of all my private thoughts, and put in for a
speedy tete-a-tete with your own dear self. She
met me on my own ground. This very morning she
engaged the old woman who spoke to you to take
the field : she is an old stager — a veteran in the ser-
vice of the apothecary's wife. But the best of the
joke in this comedy, added she, in a paroxysm of
laugliter, is that jVIelancia, on my assurance that my
husband's habit is to pass the night without stirring,
is gone to bed by his side, and drones out my useless
office at this moment. So much the worse, madam,
said I then to iSIergelina ; your device is more plausi-
ble than profitable. Your husband is very likely to
wake, and discover the fraud. lie will not discover
anything about it, replied she with no little urgency ;
set your heart at rest about that, and let not an empty
fear poison the fountains of a pleasure which ouglvt to
drown every vulgar and earthly consideration in the
arms of a young lady who is yours forever and ever.
The old doctor's help-mate, finding that her assur-
ances had little effect upon my courage, left no stone
unturned to put me in heart again ; and she had so
many encouraging ways with her, that a Aery coward
must have plucked up a little. My thoughts were
all with Jupiter and Alcmena ; but at the very mo-

19(3 GTL liLA^.

ment that the urchin Cupid, with his train of smlleS
and antics, was weaving a garland to compliment
the crisis of our endeavors, we were stopped in our
career by an importunate knocking at the street door.
In a moment, away flew love, and all his covey, like
game at the report of a fowling-piece. Mergelina
popped me, like an article of household furniture,
under the hall table, blew out the lamp, and, by
previous agreement with her governess, in the event
of so unlucky an accident, placed herself at the door
of her husband's bedchamber. In the meantime,
the knocking continued with reiterated violence, till
the whole house resounded. The physician awoke
suddenly, and called Melancia. The duenna flung
herself out of bed, though the doctor, taking her for
his Avife, begged of her not to disturb herself. She
ran to her mistress, who, catching hold of her in the
dark, began calling Melancia ! and told her to go
and see who was at the door. Madam, answered
the directress, here I am at your service, go to bed
again if you please ; we shall soon know who it is.
During this parley, Mergelina, having undressed, got
into bed to the doctor, who had not the least sus-
picion of the farce that Avas playing. To be sure the
stage was darkened, and the actresses had very little
occasion for a prompter ; one of them was familiar
with the boards, and the other only wanted a re-
hearsal or two to be perfect in her part.

The duenna, in her night gown, made her appear-
ance soon after, with a candle in her hand. Good
doctor, said she to her master, have the goodness to

THE JOURNEYMAN BARBER'S STORY. 197

get up. Our neighbor Fernandez de Buendia, the
bookseller, is in an apoplectic fit : you are sent for ;
time presses. The physician got on his clothes as
fast as he jould, and went out. His wife, in her
bed gown, came into the hall with the duenna.
They dragged me from under the table more dead
than aliAC. You have nothing to fear, Diego, said
Mergelina ; put yourself in proper order. At the
same time she told me how things were in two
words. She had half a mind to renew our amorous
intercourse ; but the directress knew better. Madam,
said she, your husband may possibly be too late to
help the bookseller to the other world, and then he
will return immediately. Besides, added she, ob-
serving me benumbed with fright, it would be all
lost labor upon this poor youth ! He is not in a
condition to answer your demands. You had better
send him home, and defer the debate till to-morrow
evening. Donna ]\Icrgelina was sorry for the delay,
as well knowing that a bird in hand is worth two in
the bush ; and I flatter myself she was disappointed at
not putting a cuckold's nightcap on the doctor's head.
As for me, less grieved at having drawn a blank
in the lottery of love, than rejoiced at getting my
neck out of an halter, I returned to my master's,
where I passed the remainder of the night in moral-
izing on the scene I had left. For some time, I was
in doubt whether to keep my appointment on the
following evening. I thought it was a foolish busi-
ness from first to last ; but the devil, who is always
lurking for his prey, or rather taking possession of

198 ^I^' BLAS.

US as his lawful property, whispered in my ear that
I should be a great fool to pack up my alls when the
prize was falling into my hands. Mergelina, too,
with opening and unfathomable charms ! The ex-
quisite pleasures that awaited me ! I determined to
stick to my text ; and promising myself a larger
share of self-possession, took my station the next
evening, at the doctor's door, between eleven and
twelve, in a most spirit-stirring humor. The
heavens were completely darkened — not a star to
prate of my whereabout. I mewed twice or thrice
to give warning of my being in the street ; and, as
no one answered my signal, I was not satisfied with
going over the old ground, but ran up and down the
cat's ganuit from bass to treble, and from treble to
bass, just as I used to sol-fa with a shepherd of
Olmddo. I tuned my fundamental bass so musically,
that a neighbor on his return home, taking me for
one of those animals whose mewings I counterfeited,
picked up an unlucky flint lying at his feet, and
threw it at me with all his force, saying, The devil
fetch that tom cat ! I received tlie blow on my
head, and was so stunned for the moment, that I
was very near falling backwards. I foimd the skin
was broken. This was enough in all conscience to
give me a surfeit of gallantry ; so that, my passion
oozing out with my blood, I made the best of my
way homewards, where I rendered night hideous by
my howling, and knocked all the family up. My
master probed my wound, and played the true sur-
geon on it ; he pronounced the consequences to be

TIIEY MEET WITH A STROLLING PLAYER. I99

uncertain. He did all he could to make them cer-
tain ; but flesh will heal in spite of the faculty ; and
there was not a scar remaining in three weeks. Dur-
ing all this time, I heard not a word from Mergelina.
The probability is that Dame Melancia, to wean her
impure thoughts from me, engaged her in some bet-
ter sport. However, I did not concern myself about
the matter ; but left Madrid, to continue my tour of
Spain, as soon as I found myself perfectly recovered.

CHAPTER VIII.

THE MEETING OF GIL BIAS AND HIS COMPANION WITH A
MAN SOAKING CRUSTS OF BREAD AT A SPRING, AND THE
PARTICULARS OF THE III CONVERSATION.

SiGNOR Diego de la Fuenta related some other
adventures which had since happened to him ; but
they were so little worthy of preservation, that I shall
pass them by in silence. Yet there was no getting
rid of the recital, which was tedious enough : it
lasted as far as Ponte de Duero. We halted in that
town the remainder of the day. Oiu" commons at
the inn consisted of a vegetable soup, and a roast
hare, whose genus and species we took especial pains
to verify. At daybreak on the following morning
we resumed our journey, after ha\ing replenished
our flask with some very tolerable wine, and our
wallet with some pieces of bread, and half the hare

200 ^^^ BIAS.

we had left for supper. When we had gone about
two leagues, we waxed liungry ; and, espying, at
about two hundred yards from the high road, some
spreading trees which threw an agreeable shade
over the plain, we made up to the spot, and rested
on our arms. There we met with a man from seven
to eight and twenty, who was dipping crusts of
bread into a spring. He had a long sword lying by
idm on the grass, with a soldier's knapsack, of which
he had eased his shoulders. We thought his air and
person better than his attire. We accosted him with
civility, and he returned our salutation. He then
offered us his crusts, and asked, witli a smile, if we
would take pot-luck with him. We answered in the
affirmative, provided he had no objection to our club-
bing our own breakfast, by way of making the meal
more substantial. He agreed to it with the ut-
most readiness, and we immediately produced our
provisions, which were not unacceptable to the
stranger. Wliat is all this, gentlemen, exclaimed
he, in a transport of joy ; here is ammunition
for an army ! By your forecast, you must be com-
missaries or quartermasters. I do not travel with
so much contrivance, for my part ; but depend a
good deal on the chances of the road. At the same
time, though appearances may be against me, I can
say, without vanity, that I sometimes make a very
brilliant figure in the world. Would you believe
that princely honors are commonly bestowed on me,
and that I have guards in attendance ? I compre-
hend you J said Diego ; you mean to tell us, you are

CONVERSATION WITH A STROLLING PLAYER. 201

a player. You guess right, replied the other; I
have been an actor for these fifteen years at least.
From my very infancy, I was sent on the boards in
children's parts. To deal freely, rejoined the bar-
ber, shaking his heaH, I do not beUeve a word of it.
I know the players ; those gentry do not travel on
foot, like you, nor do they mess with St. Anthony.
I doubt whether you are anything better than a can-
dle-snuflfer. You may, quoth the son of Thespis,
think of me as you please ; but my parts, for all
that, are in the first line : I play the lovers. If that
be the* case, said my companion, I wish you much
joy, and am delighted that Signor Gil Bias and my-
self have the honor of breakfiisting with so eminent
a character.

AVe then began to pick up our crumbs, and to
gnaw the precious relics of the hare, bestowing such
hearty smacks upon the bottle, as to empty it very
shortly. We were all tlu'ee so deeply engaged in
the great affau* of eating, that we said very little till
we had finished, when we resumed our conversation.
I wonder, said the barber to the player, that you
should be so much out at elbows. For a theatrical
hero, you have but a needy exterior ! I beg pardon
if I speak rather freely. Rather freely ! exclaimed
the actor ; ah ! by my troth, you are not yet ac-
quainted with Melchior Zapata. Heaven be praised !
I have no mind to see thinj^s in a wrong; light. You
do me a pleasure by speaking so confidently, for I
love to unbosom myself without reserve. I honestly
own I am not rich. Here, pursued he, showing ua

202 GIL BLAS.

his doublet lined with playbills, this is the common
stuiF which serves me for linings ; and if you are
curious to see my wardrobe, you shall not be dis-
appointed. At the same time he took out of his
knapsack a dress, laced with tarnished frippery ; a
shabby head-dress for a hero, with an old plume of
feathers ; silk stockings full of holes ; and red mo-
rocco shoes, a great deal the worse for wear. You
see, said he again, that I am very little better than
a beggar. That is astonishing, replied Diego ; then
you have neither wife nor daughter ? I have a very
handsome young wife, rejoined Zapata, and yet I
might just as well be without her. Look with awe on
the lowering aspect of my horoscope. I married a per-
sonable actress, in the hope that she would not let
me die of hunger ; and, to my cost, she is cursed
with incorruptible chastity. Who the devil would
not have been taken in as well as myself? There
was but one virtuous princess in a whole strolling
company, and she, plague take her ! fell into my
hands. It was throwing with bad luck most un-
doubtedly, said the barber. But then, why did not
you look out for an actress in the regular theatre at
Madrid ? You would have been sure of your mark.
You are perfectly in the right, replied the stroller ;
but the mischief is, we underlings dare not raise our
thoughts to those illustrious heroines. It is as much
as an actor of the prince's company can venture on ,•
nay, some of them are obliged to match Avith citizens'
daughters. Happily for our fraternity, citizens'
daughters, nowadays j contract theatrical notions ]

CONVERSATION WITH A STROLLING PLAYER. 203

and you may often meet with characters among
them, to the full as eccentric as any bona roba of
the green-room.

Well ! but have you never thought, said my fel-
low traveller, of getting an engagement in that com-
pany? Is it necessary to be a Roscius for that pur-
pose ? That is very well of you ! replied Melchior,
you are a wag, with your Roscius ! There are
twenty performers. Ask the town what it thinks
of them, and you will hear a pretty character of their
acting. More than half of them deserve to carry a
porter's knot. Yet, for all that, it is no easy matter
to get upon the boards. Bribery or interest must
make up for the defect of talent. I ought to know
what I say, since my debut at Madrid, where I was
hissed and cat-called as if tlic devil had got amon<j
the grimalkins, though I ought to have been received
with thunders of applause ; for I whined, ranted,
and offered all sorts of violence to nature's modesty :
nay, I went so far as to clench my fist at the heroine
of the piece ; in a word, I adopted the conceptions
of all the great performers ; and yet that same
audience condenmed, by bell, book, and candle, in me,
what was thought to be the first style of playing in
them. Such is the force of prejudice ! So that,
being no favorite with the pit, and not having where-
withal to insinuate myself into the good graces of
the manager, I am on my return to Zamora.* There
we shall all huddle together again, my wife and my
fellow-comedians, who are making but little of the
busiuess, I wish we may not be obliged to beg our

204 ^-^^ BLAS.

way out of town — a catastrophe of too freqent oc-»
currence !

At these words, up rose the stage-struck hero,
slung across him his knapsack and his sword, and
made his exit with due theatric pomp : Farewell,
gentlemen ; may all the gods shower all their bounties
on your heads ! And you, answered Diego with
corresponding emphasis, may you find your wife at
Zamora, softened down in her relentless virtue, and
,in comfortable keeping. No sooner had Signor
Zapata turned upon his heel, than he began gesticu-
lating and spouting as he went along. The barber
and myself immediately began hissing, to remind
him of his first appearance at Madrid. The g-oose
grated harsh upon his tympanum ; he took it for a
repetition of signals from his old friends. But, look-
ing behind him, and seeing that we were diverting
ourselves at his expense, far from taking offence at
this merry conceit of ours, he joined with good
humor in the joke, and went his way, laughing as
hard as he could. On our part, we returned the
compliment in kind. After this, we got again into
the high road, and pursued om' journey.

THEY ARRIVE AT OLMEDO. 205

CHAPTER IX.

THE MEETINO OF DIEGO WITH IIIS FAMILY; THEIR CIRCUM-
STANCES IN LIFE; GREAT REJOICING ON THE OCCASION;
THE PARTING SCENE BETWEEN HIM AND GIL BLAS.

We stopped for the night at a little village be-
tween Moyados and Valpuesta ; I have forgotten
the name : and the next morning, about eleven, we
reached the plain of Olm^do. Signor Gil Bias,
said my companion, behold my native place. So
natural are these local attachments, that I can hardly
contain myself at the sight of it. Signor Diego,
answered I, a man of so patriotic a soul as you pro-
fess to be, might, methinks, have been a little more
florid in his descriptions. Olmddo looks like a city
at this distance, and you called it a village ; it can-
not be any thing less than a corporate town. I beg
its towTiship's pardon, replied the barber ; but you
are to know that after Madrid, Toledo, Saragossa,
and all the other large cities I have passed through
in my tour of Spain, these little ones are mere vil-
lages to me. As we got further on the plain, there
appeared to be a great concourse of peo{)le about
01m(ido : so that, when we wei'e near enough to
distinguish objects, we were in no want of food for
speculation.

There were three tents pitched at some distance
from each other ; and, hard-by, a bevy of cooks and
scullions preparing an entertainment. Here, a party

20^ 6/i BLAH.

was lavinfj covers on lonjy tables set out under the
tents ; there, a detachment was crowning the pitch-
ers of Tellus with the gifts of Bacchus. The right
wing was making the pots boil, the left was turning
the spits and basting the meat. But what caught
my attention more than all the rest, was a tempo-
rary stage of respectable dimensions. It was fur-
nished \\nth pasteboard scenes, painted in a tawdry
style, and the proscenium was decorated with Greek
and Latin mottoes. No sooner did the barber spy
out these inscriptions, than he said to me : All
these Greek words smell strongly of my uncle
Thomas's lamp. I would lay a wager he has a
hand in them, for, between ourselves, he is a man of
parts and learning. He knows all the classics by
heart. If he would keep them to himself it would
be very well , but he is always quoting them in com-
pany, and that people do not like. But then, to be
sure, he has a right, because this uncle of mine has
translated ever so many of the Latin poets and hard
Greek authors with his ov^ti hand and pen. He has
got all antiquity at his finger's ends, as you may
know by his ingenious and profound criticisms. If
it had not been for him, we might never have learned
that the Athenian schoolboys cried when they were
flogged ; we owe that fact in the history of educa-
tion to his fiindamental knowledge of the subject.

After my fellow-traveller and myself had looked
about us, we had a mind to inquire what these prepa-
rations were for. Going about on the hunt, Diesro
recognized in the manager, Signor Thomas de la

LIEGO IS n'ELCOMED IIOME. 207

Fuenta, to whom we made up with great eagerness.
The schoolmaster did not recollect the young barber
at first, such a difference had ten years made. But
when convinced of his being his own flesh and blood,
he gave him a cordial embrace, and said, with much
appearance of kindness. Ah ! here you are, Diego,
my dear nephew, here you are, restored after your
wanderings to your native land. You come to
revisit your household gods, yom* Penates ; and
hea\'en delivers you back, safe and sound, into the
bosom of your family. O, happy day ! happy in all
the proportions of arithmetic ! A d.ay worthy to be
marked with a white stone, and inserted among the
Fasti ! We have annals in abundance for you, my
friend ; your uncle Pedro, the poetaster, has fallen
a sacrifice at the shrine of Pluto : to speak to the
comprehension of the vulgar, he has been dead these
three months. That miser, in his lifetime, was afraid
of wanting necessaries — Argenti pallebat amove.
Though the great were heaping wealth upon his
head, liis annual expenditure did not amount to ten
pistoles. He had but one miserable attendant, and
him he starved. This crazy fellow, more wrong-
headed than the Grecian Aristippus, Avho ordered
his shaves to leave all their costly baggage in the
heart of Lybia, as an incumbrance on their march,
heaped up all the gold and silver he could scrape
together. And to what end? for those very heirs
whom he refused to acknowledge. He died worth
thirty thousand ducats, shared between your father,
your uncle Bertrand, and myself. We shall be able

20S GIL BIAS.

to do very Avell for our cliildren. My brother Nich-
olas has already married off your sister Theresa to
the son of a magistrate in this place — Connubio
junxit stabili propriamqtie dicavit. These very
hymeneals, greeted auspiciously by all the nuptial
powers, have we been celebrating for these two days
with all this pomp and luxury. These tents in the
plain are of our pitching. Pedro's tliree heirs have
each a booth of his own, and we defray the expenses
of the day alternately. I wish you had come sooner,
you might have seen the whole progress of our fes-
tivities. The day before yesterday — the wedding-
day — your father gave his treat. It was a superb
entertainment, succeeded by running at the ring.
Your uncle, the mercer, regaled us, yesterday, with
a fete champetre, and paid the piper handsomely.
There were ten of the best grown boys, and ten
young girls, dressed put in pastoral weeds ; all the
frippery in his shop was brought out to prank tliem
up. This assemblage of Ganymedes and Houris ran
through all the mazes of the dance, and warbled
forth a thousand tender and spirit-stirring lays.
And yet, though nothing was ever more genteel,
the effect was not thought striking ; but that must
be owing to the bad taste of the spectators — the
simplicity of pastoral is lost upon the present age.

To-day, the wheels are greased by your humble
servant, and I mean to present the burgesses of 01-
m^do with a pageant of my own invention — Finis
coronahit opus. I have got a stage erected, on
which, God willing, shall be represented by my

tONVERSATIO]^ WlTlt THE SCHOOLMASTER. ^09

scholars a piece of my own composing, entitled and
called, The A.inusements of Miiley Bugentuf.,
King of Morocco. It ^^•ill be played to perfec-
tion, for my pupils declaim like the players of
Madrid. They are lads of family at Penafiel and
Segovia, boarders with me. They know how to
touch the passions ! To be sure they have rehearsed
under my tuition ; their emphasis will seem as if
struck in the mint of their master — iit ita dicam.
A\^ith respect to the piece I shall not eay a word
about it — you shall be taken by surprise. I shall
simply state that it must produce a deep impression
on the audience. It is one of those tragic subjects
which harrow up the soid, by images of death pre-
sented to the senses in all their fearful forms. I am
of Aristotle's mind, terror is a principal engine. O !
if I had written for the stage, I would have intro-
duced none but bloody tj-rants, and death-dispensing
heroes. Not all the perfumes of Arabia should
have sweetened this blood-])olluted hand ; I would
have been up to my elbows in gore. There would
have been tragedy with a vengeance ; principal
characters ! ay, guards and attendants should all
have been sprawling together. I would have butch-
ered every man of them, and the prompter into the
bargain. In a word, I refine upon Aristotle, and
border on the horrible — that is my taste. These
plays to tear a cat in, are the only things for popu-
larity ; the actors live merrily on their own dying
speeches, and tlie authors roll in liLxury on the
devastation of mankind.

YOL. I. 14

210 GIL BLAS.

Just as this harniigue was over, we saw a great
crowd of both sexes coming out of town into the plain.
Who should it be, but the new-married couple,
attended by their families and friends, with ten or
twelve musicians in the van, producing a most
obstrejjerous din of harmony. We went up to
them, and Diego introduced himself. Peals of con-
gratulation were immediately rung through the
assembly, and every one was eager to shake him by
the hand. He had enough upon his shoulders to
receive all their fraternal embraces. Relations and
strangers, all were for having a pull at him. At
length his father said. You are welcome, Diego.
You find your kinsmen living upon the fat of the
land, my friend. I shall say no more at present : a
nod is as good as a wink. Meanwhile the company
went forward upon the plain, took their stations
under the tents, and sat down to table. I kept
close to my companion, and we both dined Avith the
happy couple, who appeared to be suitably matched.
The meal was not soon over, for the schoolmaster
had the vanity to give three courses, for the purpose
of cutting out his brothers, who had not been so
magnificent in their hospitalities.

After the banquet, all the guests expressed their
longings to see Signor Thomas's play, not doubting
but the performance of so extraordinary a genius
would deserve all their ears. We came in front of
the stage ; the musicians had taken possession of
the orchestra, for the overture and act-tunes. While
every one was waiting in profound silence for the

MsckiPTION OF THE PLAY. ^^

lising of tlie curtain, the actors appeared on the
boards ; and tlie author, with the piece in his liand,
sat down at tlie wing, in the prompter's place.
Well might he call it a tragedy ; for, in the first act,
the King of Morocco, by way of diversion, shot an
hundred Moorish slaves with arrows ; in the second,
he beheaded thirty Portuguese officers, taken pris-
oners by one of his captains ; and, in the third and
last, this monarch, surfeited with long-indulged lib-
ertinism, set fire with liis own hands to the seraglio
where his wives were confined, and reduced it to
ashes with its inhabitants. The Moorish slaves,
as well as the Portuguese officers, were puppets on
a very curious construction ; and the palace, built
of pasteboard, looked very naturally in flames by
means of an artificial firework. This conflagration,
accompanied by a thousand piercing cries, issuing
from the ruins, concluded the piece, and the curtain
dropped upon this amiable entertainment. The
whole plain resounded with the applause of tliis fine
tragedy ; which spoke for the good taste of the poet,
and proved that he knew where to look out for a
subject.

I did not suppose there was any thing more to be
seen after The A.rmisements of Maley Bugentuf;
but I was mistaken. Kettle-drums and trumpets
announced a new exhibition — the distribution of
prizes — for Thomas do la Fuenta, to give additional
solemnity to his Olympics, had made all his boys, as
well day-scholars as boarders, write exercises ; and
on tliis occasion he was to give to those who had

§1^ GtL BIAS.

Succeeded best, books bought at Segovia out of hl^
own pocket; All at once were brought upon the
stags two long forms out of the school, with a press,
full of old, worm-eaten books, in fine, new bindings.
At this signal, all the actors returned upon the stage,
and took their places round Signor Thomas, who
looked as big as the head of a college. He had a
sheet of paper in his hand, with the names of the
successful candidates. This he gave to the Kinoj of
Morocco, who began calling over the list with an
authoritative voice. Each scholar, answering to his
name, went humbly to receive a book from the
hands of the bum-jerker ; after this, he was crowned
with laurel, and seated on one of the two benches,
to be exposed to the gaze of the admiring company.
Yet, desirous as the schoolmaster might be to send
the spectators away in good humor, he brought his
eggs to a bad market ; for, having distributed almost
all the prizes to the boarders, according to the usual
etiquette of pedagogues, that those who pay most
must necessarily be the cleverest fellows, the mam-
mas of certain day-scholars caught fire at this in-
stance of partiality, and fell foul of the disciplinarian
thereupon : so that the festival, hitherto so much to
the glory of the donor, seemed likely to have ended
to the same tune as the carousal of the Lapithge.

ARRIVAL OF GIL BLAS AT MADRID. 213

BOOK THE THIRD.

CHAPTER I.

THE ARRIVAL OF GIL BLAS AT MADRID. IIIS FIRST PLACE
THERE.

I MADE some stay with the young barber. At
my departure, I met witli a traveller of Segovia
passing through 01m(5do. He was returning with
four mules from a trading expedition to Valladolid,
and took me by way of back carriage. We got
acquainted on the road, and he took such a fancy to
me that nothing would serve him but I must be his
guest at Segovia. He gave me free quarters for two
days, and, when he found me determined to leave him
for Madrid under convoy of a muleteer, he troubled
me with a letter, begging me to deliver it in person
according to the superscription, without hinting that
it was a letter of recommendation. I was punctual
in cjillinjj on Sifjnor Matheo Melendez. He was a
woollen-draper, living at the gate of tlie Sun, at the
corner of Trunkmaker street. ^«o sooner ]i:ul he
broken the cover and read the contents, tliaii lie said,
with an air of comphicency, Signor (Jil Bias, my
correspondent, Pedro Palacio, has written to me so
pressingly in your favor, that I cannot do otlierwisQ

214 GIL BIAS.

tli'an offer you a bed at my house ; moreover, he de-
sires me to find you a good master, and I undertake
the commission with pleasure. I have no doubt of
suiting you to a hair.

I embraced the offer of Melendez the more grate-
fully because my funds were getting much below
par ; but I was not long a burden on his hospitality.
At the week's end, he told me that he had mentioned
my name to a gentleman of his acquaintance, who
wanted a valet-de-chambre, and, according to present
appearances, the place would not be long vacant.
In fact, this gentleman happened to make his ap-
pearance in the very nick. Sir, said Melendez,
pushing me forward, you see before you the young-
man as by former advice. He is a pupil of honor
and integrity. I can answer for him as if he v/as
one of my own family. The gentleman looked at
me with attention, said that my face was in my
favor, and hired me at once. He has nothing to do
but to follow me, added he ; I will put him into the
routine of his employment. At these words, he
wished the tradesman good morning, and took me
into the High-street, directly over against St. Philip's
church. We went into a very handsome house, of
which he occupied one wing ; then going up five or
six steps, he took me into a room secured by strong
double doors, with an iron grjite between. From
this room we went into another, with a bed and
other furniture, rather neat than gaudy.

If my new master had examined me closely, I had
^11 my wits about me as well as he. He was a maji

GIL BLAS IS PLEASED WITH HIS SITUATION. 215

on the wrong side of fifty, with a saturnine and
serious air. His temper seemed to be even, and I
thought no harm of him. He asked me several
questions about my family ; and, liking my answers,
Gil Bias, said he, I take you to be a very sensible
lad, and am well pleased to liave you in my ser-
vice. On your part you shall have no reason to
complain. I will give you six rials a day board
wages, besides vails. Then 1 recpiire no great at»
tendance, for I keep no table, but always dine out.
You will only have to brush my clothes, and be your
own master for the rest of the day. Only take care
to be at home early in tlie evening, and to be in
waiting at the door — that is your chief duty. After
this lecture, he took six rials out of his purse, and
gave them to me as earnest. We then went out, he
locked the doors after him, and, taking care of the
keys. My friend, said he, you need not go with
me, follow the devices of your own heart ; but on
my return this evening, let me find you on that
staircase. With this injunction, he left me to dis-
pose of myself as seemed best in my own eyes.

In good sooth, Gil Bias, said I in a soliloquy, you
have got a jewel of a master. ^Vhat ! fall in with
an employer to give you six rials a day for wiping
off the dust from his clothes, and putting his room
to rights in the morning, with the liberty of walking
about and taking your pleasure like a schoolboy in
the holidays ! By my troth I it is a place of ten
thousand. No wonder I was in a hurry to get to
Madrid, it was doubtless some mysterious boding of

21 g GIL BLAS.

good fortune prepared for me. I spent the day in
the streets, diverting myself with gaping at novelties
— a busy occupation. In the evening, after supping
at an ordinary not far from our house, I squatted my-
self down in the corner pointed out by my master.
He came three quarters of an hour after me, and
seemed pleased with my punctuality. Very well,
said he, this is right, I like attentive servants. At
these words, he opened the doors of his apartment,
and closed them upon us again as soon as we got in.
As we had no candle, he took his tinder-box, and
struck a light. I then helped him to undress.
When he was in bed, I lighted, by his order, a
lamp in his chimney, and carried the wax-light into
the antechamber, where I lay in a press-bed \\'ithout
curtains. He got up the next day between nine and
ten o'clock ; I brushed his clothes. He paid me my
six rials, and sent me packing till the evening. My
mysterious master went out himself, too, not Avithout
great caution in fastening the doors, and we parted
for the remainder of the day.

Such was the course of life, very agreeable to me.
The best of the joke was, that I did not know my
master's name. jNIelendcz did not know it himself.
The gentleman came to his shop now and then, and
bought a piece of cloth. My neighbors were as
much at a loss as myself; they all assured me that
my master was a perfect stranger, though he had
lived two years in the ward. He visited no soul in
the neighborhood, and some of them, a little given
tQ ecandal, concluded him to be no better than he

SIS MASTER SUPPOSED TO BE A SPY. 217

should be. Suspicions got to be more rife ; he was
suspected of being a spy of Portugal, and it was
thought but fair play to give a hint for my own good.
This intimation troubled me. Thovight I to myself,
should this tuni out to be a fact, I stand a chance for
seeing the inside of a prison at Madrid. My inno-
cence will be no security ; my past ill-usage makes
me look on justice with antipathy. Twice have I
experienced that if the innocent are not condemned
in a lump with the guilty, at least the rights of hos-
pitality are too little regarded in their persons to
make it pleasant to pass a summer in the purlieus
of the law.

I consulted Melendez in so delicate a conjuncture.
He was at a loss how to advise me. Though he
could not bring himself to believe that my master
was a spy, he had no reason to be confident on tlie
other side of the question. I determined to watch
my employer, and to leave him if he turned out to
be an enemy of the state ; but then prudence and
personal comfort required me to be certain of my
fact. I began, therefore, to pry into his actions ; and,
to sound him. Sir, said I one evening while he was
undressino;, I do not know how one ou<jht to live so
as to be secure from reflections. The world is very
scurrilous ! We, among others, have neiglibors not
worth a curse. Sad dogs ! You have no notion
how they talk of us. Do they indeed, Gil Bias,
quoth he. Be it so ! but what can they say of us,
my friend? Ah ! truly, re])lied I, evil tongues never
want a whet. Virtue herself furnishes weapons for

218 GIL BIAS.

her own martyrdom. Our neighbors say that we
are dangerous people, that we ought to be looked
after by government ; in a word, you are taken for
a spy of Portugal. In throwing out this hint, I
looked hard at my master, just as Alexander squinted
at his physician, and pursed up all my penetration
to remark upon the effect of my intelligence. There
seemed to be a hitch in the nuiscles of my mysteri'
ous lord, altogether in unison with the suspicions of
the neighborhood, and he fell into a brown stvidy,
which bore no very auspicious interpretation. How-
ever, he put a better face on the matter, and said,
with sufficient composure : Gil Bias, leave our
neighbors to discourse as they please, but let not
our repose depend on their judgments. Never mind
what they think of us, provided our OAvn consciences
do not wince.

Hereupon he went to bed, and I did the like, with-
out knowing what course to take. The next day,
just as we were on the point of going out in the
morning, we heard a violent knockinjr at the outer
door on the staircase. My master opened the inner,
and looked throujjh the j^rate. A well-dressed man
said to him : Please your honor, I am an alguazil,
come to inform you that Mr. Corregidor wishes to
speak a word with you. What does he want? an-
swered my pattern of secrecy. That is more than I
know, sir, replied the alguazil ; but you have only
to go and wait on him ; you will soon be informed.
I am his most obedient, quoth my master ; I \ui\o
.no business with him. At the tail of this speech, he

DON BERNARD HAS A VISITOR. 219

banged the inner door ; then, after walking up and
down a little while, like one who pondered on the
discourse of the alguazil, he put my six rials into
my hand, and said : Gil Bias, you may go out, my
friend ; for my part, I shall stay at home a little
longer, but have no occasion for you. He made an
impression on my mind, by these words, that he was
afraid of being taken up, and was, therefore, obliged
to remain in his apartments. I left him there ; and,
to see how far my suspicions were founded, hid my-
self in a place whence I could see if he went out.
I should have had patience to have staid there all the
morning, if he had not saved me the trouble. But
an hour after, I saw him walk the street with an
ease and confidence which dumb-founded my saga-
city. Yet far from yielding to these appearances, I
mistrusted them ; for my verdict went to condenma-
tion. I considered his easy carriage as put on, and
his staying at home as a finesse to secure his gold
and jewels, when probably he was going to consult
his safety by speedy flight. I had no idea of seeing
him again, and doubted whether I should attend at
his door in the evening ; so persuaded was I, that
the day would see him on the outside of the city, as
his only refuge from impending danger. Yet I kept
my appointment ; when, to my extreme surprise, my
master returned as usual. He went to bed without
betraying the least uneasiness, and got up the next
morning with the same com{)osure.

Just as he had finished dressing, another knock at
th? (Joor| My master looked through the ^rate,

220 <^IL BLAS.

His friend the alguazil was there again, and he asked
him what lie wanted. Open the door, answered the
alguazil ; here is Mr. Corregidor. At this dreadful
name, my blood froze in my veins. I had a devilish
loathing of those gentry since I had passed tlu-ough
their hands, and could have wished myself at that
moment an hundred leajmes from Madrid. As for
my employer, less startled than myself, he opened
the door, and received the magistrate respectfully.
You see, said the corregidor, that I do not break in
upon you with a whole j)Osse : my maxim is to do
business in a quiet way. In spite of the ugly re-
ports circulated about you in the city, I think you
deserve some little attention. What is your name,
and business at Madrid ? Sir, answered my master,.
I am from New Castile, and my title is Don Bernard
de Castil Blazo. With respect to my way of life, I
lounge about, frequent public places, and take my
daily pleasure in a select circle of polite company.
Of course you have a handsome fortune ! replied the
judge. No, sir, interrupted my Mecenas ; I have
neither annuities, nor lands, nor houses. How do
you live then? rejoined the corregidor. I will show
you, replied Don Bernard. At the same time he
lifted up a part of the hangings, before a door I had
not observed, opened that and one beyond, then took
the magistrate into a closet containing a large chest
chuck-full of gold.

Sir, said he, again, you know that the Spaniards
are jjroverbially indolent ; yet, whatever may be their
general dislike to labor, I may compliment myself oj;

bON BERNARD MAKES A DtSCLOSURI^. 2^1

bettering the example. I have a stock of laziness,
which disqualifies me for all exertion. If I had a
mind to pufF my vices into virtues, I might call this
sloth of mine a philosophical indifference, the work
of a mind weaned from all that worldlings court with
80 much ardor ; but I will frankly own myself con-
stitutionally lazy, and so lazy, that, rather than work
for my subsistence, I would lay myself down and
starve. Therefore, to lead a life befitting my fancy,
not to have the trouble of looking after my affairs,
and, above all, to do without a steward, I have con-
verted all my patrimony, consisting of several con-
siderable estates, into ready money. In this chest
there are fifty thousand ducats ; more than enough
for the remainder of my days, should I live to be an
hundred ! For I do not spend a thousand a year, and
am already more than fifty years old. I have no feai's,
therefore, for futurity, since I am not addicted, Heaven
be praised ! to any one of the three things Avhich usual-
ly ruin men. I care little for the pleasures of the
table ; I only play fi)r my amusement ; and I have
given up women. There is no chance of my being
reckoned, in my old age, among those libidinous gray
birds to whom jilts sell their favors by troy weight.
You are a happy man ! said the corregidor."
They are in the wrong to suspect you of being a spy ;
that oflRce is quite out of cliaractcr for a man like
you. Take your own course, Don liernard : con-
tinue to live as you like. Far from disturbing your
peace, I declare myself your protector ; I request
your friendship, and pledge my own. Ah ! sir, ex-

§2^ G/i: BtAs.

claimed my master, thrilled with these kind expres-
sions, I accept, with equal joy and gratitude, your
precious offer. In giving me your friendship, you
augment my wealth, and carry my happiness to its
height. After this conversation, which the alguazil
and myself heard from the closet-door, the corregidor
took his leave of Don Bernard, who could not do
enough to express his sense of the obligation. On
my part, mimicking my master in doing the honors
of the house, I overburdened the alguazil with civil-
ities. I made him a thousand low bows, though I
felt for him in my sleeve the contempt and hatred
which every honest man naturally entertains for an
alsruazil.

►*»+■

CHAPTER IT.

THE ASTONISHMENT OF GIL BLAS AT MEETING CAPTAIN RO-
LANDO IN MADRID, AND THAT ROBBER'S CURIOUS NARRA-
TIVE.

Don Bernard de Castil Blazo, having attended
the corregidor to the street, returned in a hurry to fas-
ten his strong-box, and all the doors which secured it.
We then went out, both of us well satisfied ; he at
ha-sing acquired a friend in power, and myself at
finding my six rials a day secured to me. The de-
sire of relating this adventure to Melendez made me
bend my steps towards his house ; but, near my
journey's end, whom should I meet but Captain

CAPTAIN ROLANDO'S NARRATIVE. 22^

Kolando ! My surprise was extreme, and I could
not help quaking at the sight of him. He recol-
lected me at once, accosted me gravely, and, still
keeping up his tone of superiority, ordered me to
follow him. I tremblingly obeyed, saying inwardly,
Alas ! he means, doubtless, to make me pay my
debts ! Whither will he lead me ? There may
perhaps be some subterraneous retreat in this city.
Plague take it ! If I thought so, I would soon
show him I have not jjot the jjout. I walked there-
fore behind him, carefully looking out where he might
stop, with the pious design of putting my best leg
foremost, if there was anything in the shape of a
trap-door.

Rolando soon dispersed my alarms. He went
into a well-frequented tavern ; I followed him. He
called for the best wine, and ordered dinner. While
it was getting ready, we went into a private room,
where the captain addressed me as follows ; You
may well be astonished, Gil Bias, to renew your
acquaintance with your old commander ; and you
will be still more so, when you have heard my tale.
The day I left you in the cave, and went with my
troop to Mansilla, for the purpose of selling the
mules and horses we had taken the iavening before,
we met the son of the corregidor of Leon, attended
by four men on horseback, well armed, following his
carriage. Two of his people we mtule to bite the
dust, and the other two ran away. On this, the
coachman, alarmed for his master, cried out to us
in a tone of supplication, Alas ! my dear gentlemen,

224 ^^^ ^^^^•

in God's name, do not kill the only son of his wor-
ship, the corregidor of Leon. These words were
far from softening my comrades ; on the contrary,
their fury knew no bounds. Good folks, said one
of them, let not the son of a mortal enemy to men
like us escape our vengeance. How many orna-
ments of our profession has his father cut off in their
prime ! Let us repay his cruelty with interest, and
sacrifice this victim to their offended ghosts. The
whole troop applauded the fineness of this feeling,
and my lieutenant himself was preparing to act as
high priest at this unhallowed altar, when I inter-
dicted the rites. Stop ! said I ; why shed blood
without occasion? Let us rest contented with the
youth's purse. As he makes no resistance, it would
be against the laws of war to cut his throat. Be-
sides, he is not answerable for his father's misdeeds ;
nay, his father only does his duty in condenming us
to death, as we do ours in rifling travellers.

Thus did I plead for the coiTCgidor's son, and my
intercession was not unavailing. We only took
every farthing of his money, and carried oflf with us
the horses of the two men whom we had slain.
These we sold with the rest at IVIansilla. Thence
we returned to the cavern, where we arriAcd the
following morning, a little before daybreak. We
were not a little surprised to find the trap open, and
still more so, when we found Leonarda hand-cuflfed
in the kitchen. She unravelled the mystery in two
words. We wondered how you could have over-
reached us ; no one could have thought you capable

bAPTAm ROLANDO'S NARRATIVE. 225

of serving us such a trick, and we forgave the effect
for the merit of the invention. As soon as we had
released our kitchen Mench, I gave orders for a good
luncheon. In the mean time we went to look after
our horses in the stable, where the old negro, who had
been left to himself for four and twenty hours, was
at the last gasp. We did all we could for his relief,
but he was too far gone ; indeed, so much reduced,
that, in spite of our endeavors, we left the poor
devil on the threshold of another world. It was
very sad ; but it did not spoil our appetites ; and,
after an abundant breakfast, we retired to our cham-
bers, and slept away the whole day. On our
awaking, Leonarda apprized us that Domingo had
paid the debt of nature. We carried him to the
charnel-house, where you may recollect to have
lodged, and there pei-formed his obsequies, just as
if he had been one of our own order.

Five or six days afterwards, it fell out that, one
morning on a sally, we encountered three compa-
nies of the Holy Brotherhood, on the outskirts of
the wood. Tliey seemed Avaiting to attack us.
We percei\ed but one troop at first. These we
despised, though superior in number to our party,
and rushed forward to tlie onset. But, while we
were at logger) leads with the first, the two others in
ambuscade came thundering down upon us ; so that
our valor was of no use. There was no withstand-
ing such a host of enemies. Our lieutenant and
two of our gang gave up tlie ghost on this occasion.
As for the two others and myself, we were so closely

VOL. I. 15

226 GiL niAS.

pressed and hemmed in, as to be taken prisoners ; '
and, while two detachments convoyed us to Leon,
the third went to destroy our retreat. How it was
discovered, I will briefly tell you. A peasant of
Luceno, crossing the forest, on his way home, by
chance espied the trap-door of our subterraneous
residence, which a certain young runaway had not
shut down after him, for it was precisely the day
when you took yourself off with the lady. He had
a violent suspicion of its being our abode, without
having the couraofe to ofo in. It was enough to
mark the adjacent parts, by lightly peeling, with his
knife, bark from the nearest trees, and so on from
distance to distance, till he was quite out of the
wood. He then betook himself to Leon, with this
grand discovery for the corregidor, who was so much
the better pleased, as his son had been robbed by
our gano;. This magistrate collected together three
companies, to lay hold of us, and the peasant showed
them the way.

My arrival in the town of Leon was as good as
that of a Avild beast to the inhabitants. Even
though I had been a Portuguese general, made
prisoner of war, the people could not have been
more anxious to see me. There he goes ! was the
cry : that is he, the famous captain, the terror of
these parts ! It would serve him right to tear him,
piecemeal, with pincers, and make his comrades join
in the chorus. To the corregidor ! was the univer-
sal cry ; and his worship began insulting me. So,
so ! said he, scoundrel as you are, the powers of

tAPTAtlf ttOlAlfDO^S I^ARItATiVE. ^-21

justice, worn to a thread with your past irregulari-
ties, hand over the task of punishment to nie, as
their delegate. Sir, answered I, great as my crimes
may have been, at least, the death of your only son
is not to be laid at my door. His life was saved by
me ; you owe me some acknowledgment on that
8<3ore. O ! wretch, exclaimed he, there are no
measures to be kept with people of your description.
And, though it were my wish to save you, v\y sacred
office would not allow me to indulge my feelings.
Having spoken to this effect, he committed us to a
dungeon, where my companions had no time to
lament their hard fate. They got out of confine-
ment, at the end of three days, to expatiate, with
tragic energ}-, at the place of execution. For my
pait, I took up my quarters in limbo, for three
complete weeks. My punishment, seemingly, was
defen-cd, only to render it more terrible ; and I was
looking out for some refinement on the ordinary
course of criminal justice, when the corregidor, hav-
ing summoned me before liim, said. Give ear to
your sentence. You are free. Had it not been for
you, my only son would have been assassinated on
the highway. As a father, my gratitude was due
for this service ; but not being competent to acquit
you in my capacity of a magistrate, I have written
up to court in your favor ; hav e solicited your par-
don, and have obtained it. Go, then, whitherso-
ever it may seem good to you. But take my advice ;
profit by this lucky escape. Look to your paths,
and gi\ e up the trade of a highwayman for good
and all.

^28 <5/A SLa§.

I was deeply impressed by this advice, and took
my departure for Madrid, in the firm determination
of mending my Avays, and living quietly in that city.
There I found my father and mother dead, and what
they left behind them in the hands of an old kins-
man, who administered duly and truly, as all trus-
tees of course do. I saved three thousand ducats
out of the fire — scarcely a quarter of what I was
entitled to. But where was the remedy? There
was no standing to the quirks and evasions of the
law. Just to be doing something, I have purchased
an alguazil's place. My colleagues would have set
their faces against my admission, for the honor of
the cloth, had they known my history. Luckily they
did not, or at least affected not to know it, which was
just as good as the reality ; for, in that illustrious
body, it is the bounden duty and interest of every
member to wear a mask. The pot cannot call the
kettle hard names, thank heaven. The devil would
have no great catch in the best of us. And yet, my
friend, I could willingly unbosom myself to you with-
out disguise. My present occupation is much against
the grain ; it requires too circumspect and too 'mys-
terious a conduct ; there is nothing to be done but
by underhand dealings, gravity, and cunning. O !
for my first trade ! The new one is safer, to be
sure ; but there is more fun in the other, and liberty
is my motto. I feel disposed to get rid of my office,
and to set out, some sunshiny morning, for the moun-
tains at the source of the Tagus. I know of a
retreat thereabouts, inhabited by a numerous gang,

CAPTAIN ROLANDO'S NARRATIVE. 229

composed chiefly of Catalonians ; when I have said
that, I need say no more. If you will go along
with me, wc Avill swell the number of those heroes.
I shall be second in command. To make your foot-
ing respectable at once, I will swear that you have
fought ten times by my side. Your valor shall
mount to the very skies. I will tell more good of
you than a commander-in-chief of a favorite officer.
I will not say a word about the runaway trick ; that
woidd render you suspected of turning — nose there-
fore, mum is the word. What say you to it? Are
you ready to set off? I am impatient to know your
mind.

Every one to his own fancy, said I, then, to Ro-
lando ; you were born for bold exploits, and your
friend for a serene and quiet life. I understand
you, interrupted he ; the lady whom love induced
you to carry off, still preserves her influence over
your heart, and you doubtless lead with her that
serene life of which you are enamoured. Own the
truth, Master Gil Bias ; she is become a thing of your
own, and you are both living on the pistoles carried off
from the subterraneous retreat. I told him he was
mistaken ; and, to set him right, related the lady's
adventures and my own, while we sat at dinner.
When our meal was finished, he led back to the
subject of the Catalonians, and attempted once more
to engage me in his project. But finding me inflexi-
ble, he looked at me with a terrific frown, and said
seriously. Since you are dastard enough to prefer
^our servile condition t<) the iionor of eidistjng in 9,

230 Cf^^ BIAS.

troop of brave fellows, I turn jou adrift to your
own grovelling inclinations. But mark me well : a
lapse may be fatal. Forget our meeting of to-day,
and never prate about me to any living soul ; for if
I catch you bandying about my name in your idle
talk .... you know my ways, I need say no more.
With these words, he called for the landlord, paid
the reckoning, and we rose from the table to go
away.

-*m**

CHAPTER III.

GIL BLAS IS DISMISSED BY DON BERNARD DE CASTIL BLAZO,
AND ENTERS INTO THE SERVICE OF A BEAU.

As we were coming out of the tavern, and taking
our leave, my master M^as passing along the street.
He saAv me, and I observed him look more than
once at the captain. I had no doubt but he was
surprised at meeting me in such company. It is
certain that llolando's physiognomy and air were not
much in favor of moral qualities. He was a gigan-
tic fellow, with a long face, a parrot's beak, and a
"very rascally contour, without being absohitclv uglv.

I was not mistaken in my guess. In the evening,
I found Don Bernard harping on the captain's figure,
and charmingly disposed to believe all the fine things
I could have said of him, if my tongue had not been
tied. Gil Bias, said he, who is tliat great shark I
gaw ■vyith you awhile ago ? I told him it was au

GIL BLAS DISMISSED BY HIS MASTER. 231

alguazil, and thought to have got off with that
answer ; but he returned to the charge ; and observ-
ing my confusion, from the remembrance of the
threats used by Rolando, broke off the conversation
abruptly, and went to bed. The next morning,
when I had performed my ordinary duties, he
counted me over six ducats instead of six rials, and
said. Here, my friend, this is what I give you for
your services up to this day. Go and look out for
another place. A servant keeping such high com-
pany is too much for me. I bethought myself of
saying, in my own defence, that I had knoAvn that
alguazil, by having prescribed for him at Valladolid,
while I was practising medicine. Very good,
replied my master ; the shift is ingenious enough ;
A'ou mioht have thouj^ht of it last nii>;ht, and not
haAC looked so foolish. Sir, rejoined I, in good
truth, prudence ke})t me silent, and gave to my
reserve the aspect of guilt. Undoubtedly, re-
sumed he, tapping me softly on the shoulder, it
was carrying prudence very far, even to the confines
of cunning. Go, lad ; I have no farther occasion for
your services.

I went immediately to acquaint Melendez with
the bad news, who told me, for my comf(^rt, that he
would engage to procure me a better berth. Indeed,
some days after, he said, Gil Bias, my friend, you
have no notion of the good luck in store for you.
You will have the. most agreeable post in the world.
I am going to settle you with Don Matthias de
►Silva. He is a man of the first fashion —one of those

232 ^iL BIAS.

young noblemen commonly distinguished by the
appellation of beaus. I have the honor of his cus-
tom. He takes up goods of me, on tick, indeed ;
but these great men are good pay in the long run :
they often marry rich heiresses and then old scores
are wiped off; or, should that fail, a tradesman who
understands his business, puts such a j)rice upon his
articles, that if three fourths of his debts are bad, he
is no loser. Don Matthias's steward is my intimate
friend. Let us go and look for him. It will be for
him to present you to his master ; and you may rely
upon it, that, for my sake, he will treat you with high
consideration.

As we were on our way to Don Matthias's house,
this honest shopkeeper said, It is fit, methinks, that
you should be let into the steward's character. His
name is Gregorio Rodriguez. Between ourselves,
he is a man of low birth, Avith a talent for intrigue,
in which Avocation he has labored, till a stewardship
in two distressed families completed tlieir ruin, and
made his fortune. I give you notice, that his van-
ity is excessive ; he loves to see the under-servants
creeping and crawling at his feet. It is with him
they must make interest, if they have any favor to
beg of their master ; for, should they happen to
obtain it without his interference, he has always
some shift or other at hand to get the boon revoked,
or, at least, render it of no avail. Kegulate your
conduct on this hint, Gil Bias ; pay court to Sign or
Kodriguez in preference to your master himself, and
Je^v^ flQ stone unturned to get into his good gi'aces,

ENTERS THE SERVICE OF DON MATTHIAS. 233

His fi'iendship will be of material service to you.
He will pay your wages to the day ; and, if you
have management enough to worm yourself into his
confidence, you may chance to pick up some of
the fragments which fall from his table. There
are enough for a hungi-ier dog than you ! Don
Matthias is a young nobleman, with no thought to
throw away but on his pleasures, nor the slightest
suspicion how his own affairs are going on. What
a house for a steward who knows how to be a
steward !

When we get to our jom'ney's end, we asked to
speak with Signor Rodriguez. We were told that
we should find him in his own apartment. There
he was, sure enough, and with him a clownish sort
of fellow, holding a blue bag, full of money. The
steward, looking more wan and yellow than a girl
in a hurry for a husband, ran up to Melendez with
open arms ; the draper was not behind-hand with
him, and they each hugged the other, with a show
of friendship, at least, as much indebted to art, as
to nature, for its plausible effect. After this, the
next question was about me. Rodriguez examined
me from top to toe ; saying, very civilly at the same
time, that I was just such an one as Don Matthias
wanted, and that he would with pleasure, take upon
himself to present me to that nobleman. There-
upon, Melendez gave him to understand how
deeply he was interested in my behalf. He begged
the steward to take me under his protection ; and,
leaving me with him, after plenty of complimeut9|

234 C^/I, BLAS.

withdrew. As soon as he was gone out, Rodriguez
said, I will introduce you to my master the moment
I have dispatched this honest husbandman. He called
the countryman to him forthwith, and, taking his
bag, Talego, said he, let us see if the five hundred
pistoles are all right. He counted over the money
himself. As the sum was found to be exact, the
countryman took a receipt, and went away. The
cash was put back again into the bag. It was my
turn next to be attended to. We may now, said
my new patron, go to my master's levee. He usu-
ally gets up about noon ; it is now near one o'clock,
and must be daylight in his apartment.

Don Matthias had, indeed, just risen. He was
still in his morninoj-oown, kickin<y his heels in a
great chair, with a leg tossed over one of the elbows,
swinging backwards and forwards, and manufactur-
ing his own snufF. His conversation was addressed
to a footman in waiting, who officiated as a tempo-
rary valet-de-chambre. My lord, said the steward,
here is a young man, whom I take the liberty of
presenting to your lordship, in tlie place of him you
discharged the day before yesterday. Your draper,
Melendez, has given him a character ; he undertakes
for his qualifications, and I believe you will be very
well pleased with him. That is enough, answered
the young nobleman, since he has your recommen-
dation. I adopt him blindfold into my retinue.
He is my valet-de-chambre at once ; that business is
settled. Let us talk of other matters, Rodriguez,
you are come just in time. I was going to send for

CONVERSATIOX WITH HIS STEWARD. 235

you. I have a budget of bad news, my dear Rod-
riguez. I played with ill luck last night : an hun-
dred pistoles in my pocket lost, and two hundred
more on credit. You know how indispensable it is for
persons of high rank to pay their debts of honor.
As for any other, it is no matter when they are paid.
Punctuality is all very well between one tradesman
and another, but they cannot expect it from one of
us. These two hundred pistoles must be raised
forthwith, and sent to the Countess de Pedrosa.
Sir, quoth the steward, that is sooner said than
done. AYhere, pr^-thee, am I to get such a sum?
Threaten as I will, I never touch a maravedi from
your tenants. And yet your establishment is to be
kept up in style, and I am wearing myself to a
threatl, in furnishing the ways and means. It is
true, that hitherto. Heaven be praised ! we have
rubbed on ; but what witch to conjure for a wind now,
I know not ; the case is desperate. All tliis prosing
is extremely impertinent, interrupted Don Matthias ;
this counting-house talk makes me hideously ner-
vous. So, then, Rodriguez, you really think to
undertake my reform, and metamorphose me into a
plodding manager of my own estate ?. A very ele-
gant sort of pastime for a man in my station of life ;
a man of rank and fashion ! Grant me patience,
replied the steward ; at the rate we are driving now,
it is easily calculated how soon you will be released
from all those cares. You are a very great bore,
resumed the young nobleman, rather peevishly ;
this brutal importunity is downright murder to one's

236 G/L BLAS.

feelings. I hate loud music ; be so good as to let
me be ruined pianissimo. I tell you I want two
hundred j)istoles, and I must have them. Why
then, said Kodriguez, we must have recourse to the
old rascal who has lent you so much already on
usurious terms. Have recourse to the devil, if he
will do you any good, answered Don Matthias ; only
let me have two hundred pistoles, and it is the same
thing to me how you manage to get them.

While he was uttering these words in a hasty and
fretful tone, the steward went out, and Don Antonio
Centell^s, a young man of quality, came in. What
is the matter, my friend? said this last to my
master : your atmosphere is overcast ; I trace pas-
sion in the lines of your countenance. Who can
have ruffled that sweet temper? I would lay a
wager, it was that booby just gone out. Yes,
answered Don Matthias, he is my steward. Every
time he comes to speak to me, I am in an agony for
a quarter of an hour or twenty minutes. He rings
the changes on the state of my affairs, and tells me
that I am spending principal and interest. ... A
beast ! He will say next, that I have ruined him
into the bargain ! My dear fellow, replied Don
Antonio, I am exactly in the same situation. My
man of business is just such another scarecrow as
your steward. When the sneaking scoundrel, after
repeated demands, brings me some niggardly supply,
it is just as if he was lending me his own. He ex-
postulates most barbarously. Sir, says he, you are
going to rac^ and ruin ; ther^ is fVB ejcepution out

tHE VSltRER'S INTERVIEW. 23^

against you. I am obliged to cut him short, and
beg him to remonstrate in epitome. The worst of
it is, said Don iVIatthias, that there is no doing with-
out these fellows ; they are the penance' attached to
our elegant indiscretions. Just so, replied Centell^s.
. . . But listen, pursued he, bursting into a fit of
laughter ; a pleasant idea has just struck me. Noth-
ing was ever more farcically fancied. We may in-
troduce a biiffo caricato into our serious opera, and
relieve the knell of our departetl goods and chattels
with a humorous divertisement. The plot is thus :
let me try to borrow from your steward whatever
you want. You shall do the same with my man of
business. Then let them both preach as they please ;
we shall hearken with the utmost composure. Your
steward will come and open his case to me ; my man
of business will plead the poverty of the land to you.
I shall hear of nothing but your extravagance ; and
you will see your own in mine as in a glass. It will
be vastly entertaining.

A thousand brilliant conceits followed this flight
of genius, and put the young patricians into high
spirits, so that they kept up the ball with vivacity,
if not with wit. Their conversation was interrupted
by Gregorio Rodi'iguez, who brouglit back with him
a little, old man, with a bald head. Don Antonio
was for moving off. Farewell, Don Matthias, said
he, we shall meet again anon. I leave you with
these gentlemen ; you have, doubtless, some state
affairs to discuss in council. O ! no, no, answered
my master, you had better stop ; you wUl not inter-

^^g dtt BLAL

rupt us. This warm old gentleman has the modera-
tion to lend me money at twenty per cent. What,
at twenty per cent. ! exclaimed Centell^s, in a tone
of astonishment. In good truth, I wish you joy on
being in such hands. I do not come off so cheaply,
for my part : I pay through the nose for every farthing
I get. My loans are generally raised at double that
per cent. There is usur}-, said the father of the
usurious tribe ; imconscionable dogs ! Where do
they expect to go when they die ? I do not wonder
there is so strong a prejudice against money-lenders.
It is the exorbitant profit which some of them derive
from their discounts, that brings reproach and ill-will
upon us all. ' If all my brethren of the blue balls
were like me, we sliould not be treated so scurvily ;
for my part, I only lend, to do my duty towards my
neighbor. Ah ! if times were as good now as in my
early days, my purse should be at your service as a
f?iend ; and even now, in the present distress of the
money-market, it goes against tlie grain to take a
poor twenty per cent. But one would think the
money was all gone back to the mines whence it
came : there is no such thing to be had, and the
scarcity compels me to depart a little from tlie disin-
terested severity of my benevolence. How much do
you want? ptirsued he, addressing my master. Two
hundred pistoles, answered Don Matthias. I have
four hundred here in a bag, replied the usurer ; it is
only to give you half of them. At the same time he
drew, from underneath his cloak, a blue bag, looking
just like that in which farmer Talego liad left five

TH£ tfSVnER*S INTERVIEW. 23{)

hundred pistoles with Rodriguez. I was not long in
forming my judgment of the matter, and saw plainly
that Melendez had not bragged, without reason, of
the steward's aptness in the ways of the world. The
old man emptied the bag, displayed the cash on a
table, and set about counting it. The sight set all
my master's extravagant passions in a flame ; the
sum total proved very striking to his comprehension.
Signer Descomulgado, said he to the usurer, I have
just made a very sensible reflection : I am a great
fool. I only borrow enough to redeem my credit,
without thinking of my empty pockets. I should be
obliged to give you the trouble of coming again
to-morrow. I think, therefore, it will be best to
spare your age and infirmities, and case you of the
four hundred at once. My lord, answered the old
man, I had destined half of this money to a good
licentiate, who lays out the income of his large
preferments in those pious and charitable uses for
which they were originally given to the clergy, ae
stewards of the poor, and guides to the young and
unwary. In pursuance of this end, it is his great
delight to wean young girls from the seductions of a
wicked world, and place them in a snug, well-
furnished little box of his own, where they may be
obnoxious to his ghostly admonitions by day and by
night. But, since you have occasion for the whole
sum, it is at your disposal. Something by way of
security . ... O ! as for security, interrupted
Rodriguez, taking a paper out of his pocket, you
shall have as good as the bank. Here is a note

^10 GIL SLAS.

which Signer Don Matthias has only just to sign.
He makes over five hundred pistoles, due from one
of his tenants, Tal ego, a wealthy yeoman of Mondejar.
That is enough, replied the usurer, I never split
hairs, but deal upon the square. The steward in-
sinuated a pen between his master's fingers, who
signed his name at the bottom of the note, without
reading it ; and whistled as he signed, for want of
thought.

That business settled, the old man took his leave
of my noble employer, who shook him cordially by
the hand, saying : Till I have the pleasure of seeing
you again, good master pounds, shillings, and pence,
I am your most devoted, humble servant. I do not
know why you should all be lumped together for a
set of blood-suckers ; you seem to me a necessary
link in, the chain of well-ordered society. You are
as good as a physician to us pecuniary invalids of
quality, and keep us alive by artificial restoratives in
the last stage of a consumptive purse. You are in
the right, exclaimed Centelles. Usurers are a very
gentlemanly order in society, and I must not be
denied ' the privilege of paying my compliments to
this illustrious specimen, for the sake of his twenty
per cent. With this banter, he came up and threw
his arms about the old man's neck : and these two
overgrown children, for their amusement, began
sendinj; him backward and forward between them
like a shuttlecock. After they had tossed him about
from pillar to post, they suffered him to depart with
the steward, who ought to have come in for his share
of the game, and for something a little more serious.

botf fEnnii^AistD pitopos^s a ^A}}qVet. 24l

When Rodrifjuez and his stalkinjr-horse had left
the room, Don Matthias sent, by the lackey in wait-
ing, half his pistoles to the Countess de Pedrosa,
and deposited tlie other half in a long purse worked
with gold and silk, which he usually wore in his
pocket. Very well pleased to find himself in cash,
he said to Don Antonio, with an air of gayety :
What shall we do with ourselves to-day ? Let us
call a council. That is talking like a statesman,
answered Centell^s : I am your man ; let us ponder
gravely. WhUe they were collecting their delibera-
tive wisdom on the course they were to pursue for
the day, two other noblemen came in : Don Alexo
Segiar and Don Ferdinand de Gamboa ; both nearly
about my master's age, that is, from eight and
twenty to thirty. These four jolly blades began
with such hearty salutations, as if they had not met
for these ten years. After that, Don Ferdinand, a
professed bacchanalian, made his proposals to Don
Matthias and Don Antonio : Gentlemen, said he,
where do you dine to-day ? If you are not engaged,
I will take you to a tavern, where you shall quaff
celestial liquor. I supped there last night, and did
not come away till between five and six this morn-
ing. Would to Heaven ! exclaimed my master, I
had done the same ; I should not have lost my
money.

For my part, said Centell(3s, I treated myself
yesterday evening with a new amusement, for
variety has always its charms for me. Nothing but
a change of pleasure can make the dull round of

VOL. I. 16

242 (^JL SLAS.

human life supportable. One of my friends intro-
duced me, neck and heels, to one of those gentry
ycleped tax-gatherers, who do the government busi-
ness and their own at the same time. There was no
want of magnificence, good taste, or a well-designed
set out table, but I found, in the family itself, a
highly seasoned relish of absurdity. The farmer of
the revenues, though the most meanly extracted of the
whole party, must set up for a great man ; and his
wife, though hideously ugly, was a goddess in her
own estimation, and made a thousand silly speeches,
the zest of which was heightened by aBiscayan accent.
Add to this, that there were four or five children
with their tutor at table. Judge if it must not have
been an amusing family party.

As for me, gentlemen, said Don Alexo Segiar, I
supped with Arsenia the actress. We were six at
table : Arsenia, Florimonde, a coquette of her ac-
quaintance, the Marquis de Zenette, Don Juan de
Moncade, and your humble servant. We passed
the night in drinking and talking bawdy. What a
flow of soul ! To be sure, Arsenia and Florimonde
are not strong in their upper works ; but then they
have a facility in their vocation which is more than
all the wit in the world. They are the dearest mad-
caps, gay, romping, and rampant : they are a
hundred times better than your modest women of
sense and discretion.

GIL BLAS' l^EW ACCuJAWTANCES. 243

CHAPTER IV.

OIL BLAS GETS INTO COMPANY WIT/I HIS FELLOWS; THEY
SHOW HIM A READY ROAD TO THE REPUTATION OF WIT'
AND IMPOSE ON HIM A SINGULAR OATH.

Those noblemen pursued this strain of conversa-
tion, till Don Matthias, about whose person I was
fiddling all the while, was ready to go out. He
then told me to follow him ; and this bevy of fashion-
ables set sail together for the tavern, whither Don
Ferdinand de Gamboa proposed to conduct them. I
began my march in the rear rank with three other
valets ; for each of the gentlemen had his own. I
remarked, with astonishment, that these three ser-
vants copied their masters, and assumed the same
follies. I introduced myself as a new comer. They
returned my salute in form ; and one of them, after
having taken measure of me very accurately, said :
Brother, I perceive, by your gait, that you have
never yet lived with a young nobleman. Alas ! no,
answered I, neither have I been long in Madrid.
So it appears, replied he, you smell strong of the
country. You seem timid and embarrassed ; there
is a hitch in your deportment. But no matter, we
will soon wear off all stiffness, take my word for it.
Perhaps you think better of me than I deserve, said
I. No, resumed he, no ; there is no such cub as
we cannot lick into shape ; assure yourself of that.

This specimen was enough to convince me that I
had hearty fellows for my comrades, and that I

244 ^^L SLAS.

could not be in better hands to initiate me into hlo-K
life below stairs. On our arrival at the tavern, we
found an entertainment ready, which Signor Don
Ferdinand had been so provident as to order in the
morning. Our masters sat down to table, and we
arranged ourselves behind their chairs. The con-
versation was spirited and lively. My ears tingled
to hear them. Their humor, their way of thinking,
their mode of expression, diverted me. What fire !
what sallies of imagination ! They appeared like a
new order of beings. With the dessert, we sat
before them a great choice of the best wines in Spain,
and left the room, to go to dinner in a little parlor,
where our cloth was laid.

I was not lonjj in discoverino; that the combatants
in our lists had more to recommend tliem than ap-
peared at first sight. They were not satisfied with
aping the manners of their masters, but even copied
their phrases ; and these varlets gave such a fac-
simile, that, bating a little vulgarity, they might
have passed themselves oflP very well. I admired
their free-and-easy carriage ; still more was I
charmed with their wit, but despaired of ever coming
up to them in my own person. Don Ferdinand's
servant, on the score of his master treating ours, did
the honors ; and, determined to do the thing
genteelly, he called the landlord, and said to him :
Master tapster, give us ten bottles of your very best
wine ; and, as you have a happy knack of doing,
make the gentlemen up stairs believe that they have
drank them. With all my heart, answered the land-

THE SERVANTS' BANQUET. 245

lord ; but, Master Gaspard, you know that Signor
Don Ferdinand owes me for a o-c^od many dinners
already. If through your kind intervention I could
get some little matter on account . . . O, inter-
rupted the valet, do not be at all uneasy about your
debt : I will take it upon myself ; put it down to
me. It is true, that some unmannerly creditors
have preferred legal measures to a reliance on our
honor ; but we shall take the first opportunity of
obtaining a replevy, and will pay you without look-
ing at your bill. To have my master on your
books is like so many ingots of gold. The landlord
brought us the wine, in spite of unmanly creditors ;
and we drank to a speedy replevy. It was as good
as a comedy to see us drinking each other's healths
every minute, under our masters' titles. Don
Antonio's servant called Don Ferdinand's plain
Gamboa, and Don Ferdinand's servant called Don
Antonio's Centell^s : they dubbed me Silva ; and
we kept pace in drunkenness, under these borrowed
names, with the noblemen to whom they properly
belonged.

Though my wit was less conspicuous than that of
the other guests, they lost no opportunity of testi-
fying their pleasure in my acquaintance. Silva,
said one of our merriest soakers, Ave shall make
sometliing of you, my friend. I perceive that you
have wit at will, if you did but know how to draw
upon it. The fear of talking absurdly pre\ents you
from throwing out at all ; and yet it is only by a
bold push, that a thousand people nowadays se|;

246 ^IL BLAS.

themselves up for good companions. Do you wish
to be bright? You have only to give the reins to
your loquacity, and to venture indiscriminately on
whatever couies uppermost : your blunders will pass
for the eccentricities of genius. Though you should
utter a hundred extravagances, let but a single
good joke be packed up in the bundle, the nonsense
shall be all forgotten, the witticism bandied about,
and your talent be puffed into high repute. This is
the happy method our masters have devised, and it
ought to be adopted by all new candidates. Besides
that, I had but too strong a wish to pass for a clever
fellow, the trick they taught me appeared so easy in
the performance, that it ought not to be buried in
obscurity. I tried it at once, and the fumes of the
wine contributed to my success ; that is to say, I
talked at random, and had the good luck to strike
out of much absurdity some flashes of merriment,
very acceptable to my audience. This first essay
inspired me with confidence. I redoubled my
sprightliness, to sparkle in rapartee ; and chance
gave a successful issue to my endeavors.

Well done ! said my fellow-servant who had ad-
dressed me in the street, do not you begin to shake
off your rustic manners ? You have not been two
hours in our company, and you are quite another
creature : your improvement will be visible every
day. This it is to wait on people of quality. It
causes an elevation, which the mind can never attain
under a plebeian roof. Doubtless, answered I, and
for that reason I shall henceforth dedicate my little

THE SERVANTS' BANQUET. 247

talents to the nobility. That is bravely said, roared
out Don Ferdinand's servant, half seas over ; com-
moners are not entitled to possess such a fund of
superior genius as exists in us. Come, gentlemen,
let us make a vow never to colleague with any such
beggarly fellows ; let us swear to that by Styx. We
laughed heartily at Gaspard's conceit ; the proposal
was received with applause, and we took this mock
oath with our glasses in our lumds.

Thus sat we at table till our masters were pleased
to get up from it. This was at midnight ; an out-
rageous instance of sobriety, in the opinion of my
colleagues. To be sure, these noble lords left the
tavern so early only to visit a celebrated wanton,
lodging in the purlieus of the court, and keeping
open house night and day for the votaries of pleasure.
She was a woman from five and thirty to forty, still
in the height of her charms, entertaining in lier dis.
course, and so perfect a mistress in the art of plcis-
ure, that she sold the waste and refuse of her beauty
at a higher price than the first sample of the unadul-
terated article. She had always two or three other
pieces of damaged goods in the house, avIio con-
tributed not a little to the gi'cat concourse of nobility
resorting thither. The afternoon was spent in play ;
then supper, and tiic night passed in drinking and
making merry. Our masters staid till morning, and
so did we, without thinking the time long ; for,
while they were toying with the mistresses, we
attacked the maids. At length, we all parted when
daylight i)eci)ed in on our festivities, and went to bed
each of us at our separate homes.

248 GI^ BLAS.

My master getting up at his usual time, about
noon, dressed liimself. He went out. I followed
him, and we paid a visit to Don Antonio Centellds,
with whom we found one Don Alvaro de Acuna.
He was an old gentleman, who gave lectures on the
science of debauchery. The rising generation, if
they wanted to qualify themselves for fine gentle-
men, put themselves under his tuition. He moulded
their ductile habits to pleasure, taught them to make
a distinguished figure in the world, and to squander
their substance : he had no qualms as to running out
his own, for the deed was done. After these three
blades had exchanged the compliments of the morn-
ing, Centellds said to my master : In good faith,
Don Matthias, you could not have come at a more
lucky time. Don Alvaro is come to take me with
him to a dinner, given by a citizen to the Marquis
de Zenette and Don Juan de Moncade, and you
shall be of the party. And what is the citizen's
pame? said Don Matthias. Gregorio de Noriega,
said Don Alvaro, and I will describe the young man
in two words. His father, a rich jeweller, is gone
abroad to attend the foreign markets, and left his son,
at his departure, in the enjoyment of a large income.
Gregorio is a blockhead, with a turn for every sort
of extravagance, and an awkward hankering after
the reputation of wit and fashion, in despite of
nature. He has beo^jjed of me to 2;ive him a few
instructions. I manage him completely ; and can
assure you, gentlemen, that I lead him a rare dance.
Hiij estate is rather deeply dipped already. I do not

GREGORIO DE NORIEGA'S PARTY. 249

doubt it, exclaimed Centelles ; I see the vulgar dog
in an almshouse. Come, Don Matthias, let us
honor the fellow with our acquaintance, and be in at
the death of him. Willingly, answered my master,
for I delight in seeing the fortune of these plebeian
upstarts kicked over, when they affect to mix among
us. Nothing, for instance, ever entertained me so
much as the downfall of the toll-gatherer's son,
whom play, and the vanity of figuring among the
great, have stripped, till he has not a house over liis
head. O ! as for that, replied Don Alvaro, he
deserves no pity ; he is as great a coxcomb in his
poverty as he was in his prosperity.

Centell(is and my master accompanied Don Alva-
ro to Gregorio de Noriega's i)arty. We went there
also, that is Mogicon and myself, both in ecstasy at
having an opportunity of spunging on a citizen, and
pleasing ourselves with the thoughts of being in at
the death of him. At our entrance, we observed
several men employed in preparing dinner ; and
there issued from the ragouts they were taking up, a
vapor which conciliated the palate through the
medium of the nostrils. The Marquis de Zenette
and Don Juan de Moncade were just come. The
founder of the feast seemed a great simpleton. He
aped the man of fiishion with a most clumsy grace ;
a wretched copy of admirable originals, or, more
properly, an idiot in the chair of wisdom and taste.
Figure to yourself a man of this character in the
centre of five bantering fellows, all intent on making
a jest of him. and drawing him into ridiculous exc

2,50 GIL BLAS.

penses. Gentlemen, said Don Alvaro, after the first
interchange of ci\'ilities, give me leave to introduce
you to Signor Gregorio de Noriega, a most brilliant
star in the hemisphere of fashion. He ow^ns a thous-
and amiable qualities. Do you know that he has a
highly cultivated understanding? Choose your own
subject, he is equally at home in eveiy branch, from
the subtilty and closeness of logic, to the elementary
science of the criss-cross-row. O ! this is really
too flattering, interrupted the scot-and-lot gentleman
with a very uncouth laugh. I might, Signor Alvaro,
put you to the blush as you have put me ; for you
may truly be termed a reservoir as it were, a com-
mon sewer of erudition. I had no intention, replied
Don Alvaro, to draw upon myself so savory an
encomium ; but truly, gentlemen, Signor Gregorio
cannot fail of establishing a name in the world. As
for me, said Don Antonio, what is so delightful in my
eyes, far above the honors of logic or the criss-cross-
row, is the tasteful selection of his company. In-
stead of demeanins: himself to the level of tradesmen,
he associates only with the young nobility, and sets
the expense at nought. Tliere is an elevation of
sentiment in this conduct which enchants me : and
this is what you may truly call disbursing with taste
and judgment.

These ironical speeches were only the preludes to
a continual strain of banter. Poor Gregorio was
attacked on all hands. The wits shot their bolts by
turns, but they made no impression on the fool ; on
the contrary, he took all they said literally, and

GIL BIAS WAITS UPON THE STEWARDS. 251

seemed highly pleased with his guests, as if they did
him a favor by making him their laughing-stock.
In short, he served them for a butt while they sat at
table, which they did not quit during the afternoon,
nor till late at night. We, as well as our masters,
drank as we liked, so that the servants' hall and the
dining-room were in equally high order when we
took our leave of the young jeweller.

•+iH^

CHAPTER V.

GIL BLAS BECOMES THE DARLING OF THE FAIR SEX, AND
MAKES AN INTERESTING ACQUAINTANCE.

After some hours' sleep, I got up in fine spirits ;
and calling the advice of Melendcz to mind, went,
till my master was storing, to pay my court to our
steward, whose vanity was rather flattered by this
attention. lie received me with a gracious air, and
enquired how I was reconciled to the habits and
manners of the young nobility. I answered, that
they were strange to me as yet, but that use and
good example might work wonders in the end.

Use and good example did work wonders, and
that right soon. My temper and conduct Avcre
quite altered. From a discreet, sober lad, I got to
be a li^'ely, heedless merry-andrew. Don Antonio's
servant paid me a compliment on my transformation,

2b2 GIL BLAS.

and told me that there Avanted nothing but a tender
interest in the lovely part of the creation to shine
like a new star dropped from the heavens. He
pointed out to me that it was an indispensable re-
quisite in the character of a pretty fellow, that all
our set were well with some fine woman or other ;
and that he himself, to his own share, engrossed the
favors of two beauties in high life. I was of opinion
that the rascal lied. Master Mogicon, said I, you
are doubtless a very dapjier, lively little fellow, with
a modest 9,ssurance ; but still I do not comprehend
how women of quality, not having your sweet person
on their own private establishments, should run the
risk of beino; detected in an intriojue with a footman
out of doors. O ! as for that, answered he, they
do not know my condition. To my master's ward-
robe, and even to his name, am I indebted for these
conquests. I will tell you how it is. I dress my-
self up as a young nobleman, and assume the man-
ners of one. I go to public places, and tip the wink
first to one woman and then to another, till I meet
with one who returns the signal. Her I follow, and
find means to speak with her. I take the name of
Don Antonio Centell^s. I plead for an assignation,
the lady is squeamish about it ; I am pressing, she
is kind, et ccetet^a. Thus it is, my fine fellow, that
I contrive to carry on my intrigues, and I would
have you profit by the hint.

I was too ambitious of shining like a new star
dropped from the heavens, to turn a deaf ear to such
counsel 5 besides, there was about me no aversion to

t^tl dLAS* ADVkNTifRM df" GALLANTRY. 253

an amour. I therefore laid a plan to disguise myself
as a young nobleman, and look out for adventures
of gallantry. There was a risk in assuming my
masquerade dress at home, lest it might be observed.
I took a complete suit from my master's wardrobe,
and made it up into a bundle, which I carried to a
barber's, where I thought I could dress and undress
conveniently. There I tricked myself out to the
best advantage. The barber, too, lent a helping hand
to my attire. When we thought it adjusted to a
nicety, I sauntered towards Saint Jerome's meadow,
whence I felt morally certain that I should not return
without making an impression. But I could not
even get thither, without a proof of my own attrac-
tions.

As I was crossing a bye-street, a lady of genteel
figure, elegantly dressed, came out of a small house,
and jTOt into a hired carriajjc standino- at the door. I
stopped short to look at her, and bowed significantly,
so as to convey an intimation that my heart was not
insensible. On her part, to show me that her face
was not less lovely than her person, she lifted up her
veil for a moment. In the meantime the coach set
off, and I stood stock still in tlie street, not a little
stiffened at this vision. A vastly pretty woman,
said I to myself; bless us ! this is just what is want-
ing to make me perfectly accomplished. If the two
Ijidies who share Mogicon between them are equally
handsome, the scoundrel is in luck ! I should be
deliorhted with her for a mistress. liuminatino; on
these things, I looked, by chance, towards the house

^54 GIL BIAS.

whence that lovely creature had glided, and saw, at
a window on the ground floor, an old woman beckon-
ing me to come in.

I flew like lightning into the house, and found,
in a very neat parlor, this venerable and wary
matron, who, taking me for a marqi"s at least,
dropped a low courtesy, and said : I douot not, my
lord, but you must have a bad opinion of a woman
who, without the slightest acquaintance, beckons
you out of the street ; but you will, perhaps, judge
more favorably of me, when you shall know that I
do not pay that compliment promiscuously. You
look like a man of fashion ! You are perfectly in
the right, my old girl, interrupted I, stretching out
my right leg, and throwing the weight of my body
on my left hip ; mine is, vanity apart, one of the
best families in Spain. It must be so by your looks,
replied she, and I will foirly own that I delight in
doing a kindness to people of quality, that is my
weak side. I watched you through my window.
You looked very earnestly at a lady who has just left
me. Perhaps you may have taken a fancy to her?
tell me so plainly. By the honor of my house,
answered I, she has shot me through the lieart. I
never saw anything so tempting ; a most divine
creature ! Do bring us acquainted, my dear, and
rely on my gratitude. It is worth while to do these
little offices for us of the beau monde ; they are bet-
ter paid than our bills.

I have told you once for all, replied the old wo-
man, I am entii-ely devoted to people of condition ;

AH ASSIGNATION. 255

it is my passion to be useful to them : I receive
here, for example, a certain class of ladies, whom
appearances prevent from seeing their favorites at
home. I lend them my house, and thus the warmth
of their constitutions is indulged, without risk to
their characters. Vastly well, quoth I, and you
have just done that kindness to the lady in question ?
No, answered she, this is a young widow of quality,
in want of an admirer ; but so difficult in her choice,
that I do not know whether you will do for her,
however great your requisites may be. I have already
introduced to her three well-furnished gallants, but
she turned up her nose at them. O ! egad, my
life, exclaimed I confidently, you have only to stick
me in her skirts, I will give you a good account of
her, take my word for it. I long to have a grapple
with a beauty of such peremptory demands ; they
have not yet fallen in my way. Well then, said the
old woman, you have only to come hither to-morrow
at the same hour : your curiosity shall be satisfied.
I will not fail, rejoined I ; we shall see whether a
young nobleman can miss a conquest.

I returned to the little barber's without looking
for other adventures, but deeply interested in the
event of this. Thei'efore, on the following day, I
went in splendid attire, to the old woman's an hour
sooner than the time. My lord, said she, you are
punctual, and I take it kindly. To be sure the
game is worth the chase. I have seen our young
widow, and we have had a good deal of talk about
you. Not a word was to be said ; but I have taken

256 f^/L ^LAS.

such a liking to you that I cannot hold my tongiid.
You have made yourself agreeable, and will soon be
a happy man. Between ourselves, the lady is a
relishino; morsel, her husband did not live lonfj with
her ; he glided away like a shadow : she has all the
merit of an absolute girl. The good old lady, no
doubt, meant one of those clever girls who contrive
not to live single, though they live unmarried.

The heroine of the assignation came soon in a
hired carriage, as on the day before, dressed very
magnificently. As soon as she came into the room,
I led off with five or six coxcombical bows, ac-
companied by the most fashionable grimaces. After
this, I went up to her with a veiy familiar air, and
said : My adored angel, you behold a gentleman of
no mean rank, whom your charms have undone.
Your image, since yesterday, has taken complete
possession of my fancy ; you have turned a duchess
neck and heels out of my heart, who was beginning
to establish a footing there. The triumph is too
glorious for me, answered she, throwing off her
veil, but still my transports are not without alloy.
Young men of fashion love variety, and their hearts
are, they say, bandied about from one to the other
like a piece of base money. Ah ! my sovereign
mistress, replied I, let us leave the future to shift
for itself, and think only of the present. You are
lovely : I am in love. If my passion is not hateful
to you, let it take its course at random. We Avill
embark like true sailors, set tlie storms and ship-
wreck of a long voyage at defiance, and only take

AN ASSIGNATION. 257

the fair weather of the time present into the ac-
count.

In finishing this speech, I threw myself in raptures
at the feet of my nymph ; and the better to hit off
my assumed character, pressed her with some Httle
peevishness not to delay my bliss. She seemed a
little touched by my remonstrances, but thought it
too soon to yield, and, giving me a gentle rebuff:
Hold, said she, you are too importunate ; this is like
a rake. I fear you are but a loose young fellow.
For shame, madam ! exclaimed I ; can you set your
face ajjainst what women of the first taste and con-
dition encourage? A prejudice against what is
vulgarly called vice may be all very well for citizens'
wives. That is decisive, replied she ; there is no
resisting so forcible a plea. I see plainly that with
men of your order dissinudation is to no purpose ; a
woman must meet you half way. Learn then your
victory, added she with an appearance of disorder,
as if her modesty suffered by the avowal ; you have
inspired me with sentiments such as are new to my
heart, and I only wait to know who you are, that I
may take you for my acknowledged lover. I believe
you a young lord and a gentleman, yet there is no
trusting to appearances ; and, however prepossessed
I may be in your favor, I would not give away my
affections to a stranirer.

I recollected at the moment how Don Antonio's
servant had got out of a similar perplexity, and
determining, after his example, to pass for my
master : Madam, said I to my dainty widow, I will

VOL. 1. 17 '

not excuse myself from telling you my name ; it is
one that will not disparage its owner. Plave you
ever heard of Don Matthias de Silva? Yes, replied
she ; indeed I have seen him with a lady of my
acquaintance. Though considerably improved in
impudence, I was a little troubled by this discovery.
Yet I rallied my forces in an instant, and extricated
myself with a happy presence of mind. Well then,
my fair one, retorted I, the lady of your acquaint-
ance . . . knows a lord ... of my acquaintance
. . . and I am of his acquaintance ; of his own
family, since you must know it. His grandfather
married the sister-in-law of my father's uncle. You
see we are very near relations. My name is Don
Caesar. I am the only son of the great Don Ferdi-
nand de Ribcra, slain fifteen years ago, in a battle on
the frontiers of Portugal. I could give you all the
particulars of the action ; it was a devilish sharp one
. . . but to fioht it over ao^ain would be losinfj the
precious moments of mutual love.

After this discourse I got to be importunate and
impassioned, but without bringing matters at all for-
warder. The favors which my goddess winked at
my snatching, tended only to make me languish for
which she was more chary of. The tyrant got back
to her coach, which was waiting at the door. Never-
theless, I withdrew, well enough pleased with my
success, though it still fell short of the only perfect
issue. If, said I to myself, I have obtained indul-
gences but by halves, it is because this lady, forsooth,
is a hifrh-born dame, and thinks it beneath her

Gli BLAS AMUSES titMSELF. ^59

Quality to play tlie very woman at the first inter-
view. The pride of pedigree stands in tlie way of
my advancement just now, but in a few days we
shall be better acquainted. To be sure, it did not
once come into my head that she might be one of
those cunning gypsies always on the catch. Yet I
liked better to look at thing-s on the rvAit side than
on the wrong, and thus maintained a fa^•orable
opinion of my widow. We had agreed at parting to
meet again on the day after the morrow ; and the
hope of arriving at the summit of my wishes gave
me a foretaste of the pleasures with which I tickled
my fancy.

With my brain full of joyous traces, I returned to
my barber. Ha\ing changed my dress, I went to
attend my master at the tennis-court. I found him
at play, and saw that he won ; for he was not one
of those impenetrable gamesters who make or mar
a fortune without moving a muscle. In prosperity
he was flippant and overbearing, but quite peevish
on the losing side. He left the tennis-court in hig^h
spirits, and went for the Prince's Theatre. I fol-
lowed him to the box-door, then putting a ducat into
my hand : Here, Gil Bias, said he, as I have been a
wimier to-day, you shall not be the worse for it ; go,
divert yourself with your friends, and come to me
about midnight at Arsenia's, where I am to sup with
Don Alcxo Segiar. He then went in, and I stood
debating with whom I should disburse my ducat, ac-
cording to the pious will of the founder. I did not
muse long. Clarin, Don Alexo's servant, just theu

0(50 G7/. BIAS.

came in my way. I took him to the next taverii,
and we anuised ourselves there till midnight. Thence
we repaired to Arsenia's house, where Clarin had
orders to attend. A little footboy opened the door,
and showed us into a room down stairs, where
Arsenia's waiting-woman, and the lady who held the
same office about Florimonde, were laughing ready
to split their sides, while their mistresses were above
stairs with our masters.

The addition of two jolly fellows just come from
a good supper, could not be unwelcome to abigails,
and to the abigails of actresses too ; but what was
my astonishment when in one of these lowly ladies I
discovered my widow — my adorable widow — whom
I took for a countess or a marchioness ! She appeared
equally amazed to see her dear Don Caesar de Kibera
metamorphosed into the valet of a beau. However,
we looked at one another without being out of coun-
tenance ; indeed, such a tingling sensation of laughter
came over us both, as we could not help indulging in.
After which Laura, for that was her name, drawing
me aside while Clarin was speaking to her fellow-
sei'vant, held out her hand to me very kindly, and
said in a low voice : Accept this pledge, Signor Don
Cffisar ; mutual congratulations are more to the pur-
pose than mutual reproaches, my friend. You topped
your part to perfection, and I was not quite contempt-
ible in mine. What say you? confess now, did not
you take me for one of those precious peeresses who
are fond of a little smug-gled amusement ? It is even
so, answered I, but whoever you are, my empress,

SE FINDS FAVOR WITH THE " WIDOW." 2(31

I have not changed my sentiments witli my parapher-
naha. Accept my services in good part, and let the
valet-de-chamber of Don Matthias consnmmate what
Don Cajsar has so happily begun. Get you gone, re-
plied she, I like you. ten times better in your natural
than in your artificial character. You are as a man
w^hat I am as a woman, and that is the greatest com-
pliment I can pay you. You are admitted into the
number of my adorers. We have no longer any need
of the old woman as a blind, you may come and see
me whenever you like. AVe theatrical ladies are no
sla%es to form, but live higgledy piggledy with the
men. I allow that the effects are sometimes visible,
but the public wink hard at our irregularities ; the
drama's patrons, as you well know, give the drama's
laws, and absolve us from all others.

We went no further, because there were bystand-
ers. The conversation became general, lively, jovial,
inclining to loose jokes, not very carefully wrapped
up. We all of us bore a bob. Arsenia's attendant
above all, my amiable Laura, was very conspicu-
ous ; but her wit was so extremely nimble, that her
virtue coidd never overtake it. Our masters and tlie
actresses on the floor above, raised incessant peals
of laughter, Avhich readied us in the regions below ;
and probaljly the entertainment was much alike with
the celestials and the infernals. If all the knowing
remarks had been written down, which cscaj)ed from
the philosophers that night asseuibled at Arsenia's, I
really think it would ha^ e been a manual for the ris-
ing generatipn. Yet we could not arrest the cht^stQ

262 G/L BLAS.

moon in her progress ; the rising of that blab, the
sun, parted us. Clarin followed the heels of Don
Alexo, and I went home with Don Matthias.

CHAPTER VI.

THE PRINCE'S COMPANY OF COMEDIANS.

My master getting up the next day, received a
note from Don Alexo Segiar, desiring his company
immediately. We went, and found there the Mar-
quis de Zenette, and anotlier young nobleman of
prepossessing manners, whom I had never seen.
Don iVIatthias, said Segiar to my protector, intro-
ducing the stranger, give me leave to present Don
Pompeyo de Castro, a relation of mine. He has
been at the court of Portugal almost from his child-
hood. He reached Madrid last night, and returns
to Lisbon, to-morrow. He can allow me only one
day. I wish to make the most of the precious mo-
ments, and thouglit of asking you and tlie Marquis
de Zenette to make out the time agreeably. There-
upon, my master and Don Alexo's relation embraced
heartily, and complimented one another in the most
extravagant manner. I was much pleased ^ith Don
Pompeyo's conversation, it showed both acuteness
and solidity.

They dined with Segiar ; and the gentlemen, after
the dessert, amvised themselves at pla^ till the theatre

THE THEATRICAL CRITICISM. 263

opened. Then they went all together to the Prince's
House, to see a new tragedy, called The Queen of
Carthage. At the end of the piece they returned to
supper, and their conversation ran first on the compo-
sition, then upon the actors. As for the work, cried
Don Matthias, I think very lightly of it. Eneas is a
more pious blockhead there than in the Eneid. But
it must be owned that the piece was played divinely;
What does Signor Don Pompeyo tliink of it ? He
does not seem to agree with me. Gentlemen, said
the illustrious stranger with a smile, you are so en-
raptured with your actors, and still more vath. your
actresses, that I scarcely dare avow my dissent.
That is very prudent, interrupted Don Alexo with a
sneer ; your criticisms -would be ill received. You
should be tender of our actresses before the trumpet-
ers of their fame. We carouse with them every
day, we warrant them sound in their conceptions :
we would give vouchers for the justness of their ex-
pression if it were necessary. No doubt of it, an-
swered his kinsman, you would do the same kind
office by their lives and their manners, from the same
motives of companionable feeling.

Your ladies of the sock and buskin at Lisbon, said
the Mar([uis de Zenette, are doubtless far superior?
They certaiidy are, replied Don l\)mpcyo. They
are some of them at least perfect in their cast. And
these, resumed the ]Marquis, would be warranted by
you in their conceptions and expressions? I have
no personal acquaintance with them, rejoined Don
Pompeyo. I am not of their revels, and can judge

264 GJL BLAS.

of their merit without partiality. Do you, in good
earnest, think your company first-rate? No, really,
said the Marquis, I think no such thing, and only
plead the cause of a few individuals. I give up all
the rest. Will you not allow extraordinary powers
to the actress who played Dido ? Did she not per-
sonate that queen with the dignity, and at the same
time with all the bewitching charms, calculated to
realize our idea of the character? Could you help
admiring the skill with which she seizes on the pas-
sions of the spectator, and harmonizes their tone to
the vibrations she purposes to produce? She may
be called perfect in the exquisite art of declaiming.
I agree with you, said Don Pompeyo, that she can
touch the string either of terror or of pity : never
did any actress come closer to the heart, and the per-
formance is altogether fine ; but still she is not with-
out her defects. Two or three thinijs disjjusted me
in her playing. Would she denote surprise? she
glances her eyes to and fro in a most extravagant
manner, altogether unbecoming her supposed majes-
ty as a princess. Add to tliis, that in swelling her
voice, which is of itself sound and mellifluous, she
goes out of her natural key, and assumes a harsli,
ranting tone. Besides, it should seem as if she
might be suspected, in more than one passage, of not
very clearly comprehending her author. Yet I would
in candor rather suppose her wanting in diligence
than capacity.

As far as I see, said Don Matthias to the critic,
vovi will never write complimentary odea to ouy

THE THEATRICAL CRITICISM. 265

actresses ! Pardon me, answered Don Pompeyo.
I can discover high talent through all their imperfec-
tions. I must say that I was enchanted with the
chambermaid in the interlude. What fine natural
parts ! With what grace she treads the stage ! Has
she anything pointed to deliver? she heightens it by
an arch smile, with a keen glance and sarcastic em-
phasis, which convey more to the understanding than
the words to the ear. It might be objected that she
sometimes gives too much scope to her animal spirits,
and exceeds the limits of allowable freedom, but that
would be hypercritical. There is one bad habit I
should strongly advise her to correct. Sometimes
in the very crisis of the action, and in an affecting
passage, she bursts in all at once upon the interest
with some misplaced jest, to curry favor with the
mob of barren spectators. The pit, you will say, is
caught by her artifice ; that may be well for her pop-
ularity, but not for their taste.

And what do you think of the men ? interrupted the
Marquis ; you must give them no quarter, since you
have handled the women so roughly. Not so, said
Don Pompeyo. There are some promising young act-
ors, and I am particularly well pleased with that cor-
pulent performer who played the part of Dido's prime
minister. His recitation is unaffected, and he de-
claims just as they do in Portugal. If you can
bear such a fellow as that, said Segiar, you must be
charmed with the representative of P^neas, Did not
you think him a great, an original performer ! Very
original, indle^d^ answered the critic ; his inflections!

^QQ GIL BLAS.

are quite his own, they are as shrill as a hautboy.
Almost always out of nature, he rattles the impres-
sive words of the sentence off his tongue, while he
labors and lingers on the expletives ; the poor con-
junctions are frightened at their own report as they
go off. He entertained me excessively, and especial-
ly when he was expressing in confidence his distress
at abandoning the princess : never was grief more
ludicrously depicted. Fair and softly, cousin, re-
plied Don Alexo ; you will make us believe at last
that good taste is not greatly cultivated at the court
of Portugal. Do you know that the actor of whom
we are speaking is esteemed a phenomenon? Did
you not observe what thunders of applause he called
down? He cannot therefore be contemptible. That
therefore does not prove the proposition, replied Don
Pompeyo. But, gentlemen, let us lay aside, I be-
seech you, the injudicious svifFrages of the pit ; they
are often given to performers very unseasonably.
Indeed, their boisterous tokens of approbation are
more frequently bestowed on paltry copies than an
original merit, as Phedrus teaches us by an ingen-
ious fable. Allow me to repeat it as follows : —

The whole population of a city was assembled in
a large square to see a pantomime played. Among
the performers there was one whose feats were ap-
plauded every instant. This buffoon, at the end of
the entertainment, wished to close the scene with a
new device. He came alone upon the stage, stoop-
inor down, coverinjr his head with his mantle, and
began counterfeiting the squeak of a pig. He ac-,

DON POMPEYO'S NARRATIVE. 267

quitted himself so naturally as to be suspected of
having: the animal itself concealed within the folds
of his drapery. lie stripped, but there was no pig.
The assembly rang with more furious applause than
ever. A peasant, among the spectators, was dis-
gusted at this misplaced admiration. Gentlemen,
exclaimed he, you are in the wrong to be so delighted
with this buffoon ; he is not so good a mimic as you
take him for. I can enact the pig better ; if you
doubt it, only attend here this time to-morrow. The
people, prejudiced in the cause of their favorite, col-
lected in greater numbers on the next day, rather to
hiss the countryman than to see what he could do.
The rivals appeared on the stage. The buffoon be-
gan, and was more applauded than the day before.
Then the farmer, stooping down in his turn, with
liis head wrapped \i\) in liis cloak, pulled the ear
of a real pig under his arm, and made it squeal
most horribly. Yet this enlightened audience [)cr-
sisted in giving the preference to their favorite,
and hooted the countryman off the boards ; who,
producing the pig before he went, said, Gentle-
men, you are not hissing me, but the original pig.
So much for your judgment.

Cousin, said Don Alexo, your fable is rather sa-
tirical. Xevertheless, in spite of your pig, we will
not bate an inch of our opinion. But let us change
the subject, this is grown threadbare. Then you set
off to-morrow, do Avhat we can to keep you with us
longer? I should like, answered his kinsman, to
p}*Qt;ract my stjiy with vou, but it is not in niy power,

268 GIL BLAS.

I have told you already that I am come to the court
of Spain on an affair of state. Yesterday, on my
arrival, I had a conference with the prime minister ;
I am to see him to-morrow morning, and shall set
out immediately afterwards on my return to Lisbon.
You are become quite a Portuguese, observed Segiar,
and to all appearance, we shall lose you entirely from
Madrid. I think otherwise, replied Don Pompeyo,
I have the honor to stand well with the Kino; of Por-
tugal, and have many motives of attachment to that
court ; yet with all the kindness that sovereign has
testified toi^ards me, would you believe that I have
been on the j)oint of quitting his dominions forever.
Indeed ! by Avhat strange accident ? said the mar-
quis. Give us the history, I beseech you. Very
readily, answered Don Pompeyo, and at the same
time my o>\'n, for it is closely interwoven with the
recital for which you have called.

•+1H-

CHAPTER VIL

HISTORY OF DON POMPEYO DE CASTRO.

Don Alexo knows, that from my boyish days,
my passion was for a military life. Our own coun-
try being at peace, I went into Portugal ; thence to
Africa with the Duke of Braganza, who gave me a
commission. I was a younger brother, with as
plunder 2ii provisioii as most ia Spain ; so th^t mv

HISTORY OF DON POMPRYO DE CASTRO. 26d

only chance was in attracting the notice of the com-
mander-in-chief by my bravery. I was so far from
deficient in my duty, that the duke promoted me,
step by step, to one of the most honorable posts in
the service. After a long war, of which you all
know the issue, I devoted myself to the court ; and
the king, on strong testimonials from the general
officers, rewarded me with a considerable pension.
Alive to that sovereign's generosity, I lost no oppor-
tunity of proving my gratitude by my diligence. I
was in attendance as often as etiquette would allow
me to offer myself to his notice. By this conduct I
gained insensibly the love of that prince, and re-
ceived new favors from his hands.

One day, when I distinguislied myself in running
at the ring, and in a bull-fight preceding it, all the
court extolled my strength and dexterity. On my
return home, with my honors thick upon me, I found
there a note, informing me that a lady, my concpiest
over whom ought to flatter me more than all the
glory I had gained that day, wished to have the
pleasure of my company ; and that I had only to
attend in the e^•ening, at a place marked out in the
letter. This wfis more than all my public triumphs,
and I concluded the writer to be a woman of the
first quality. You may guess that I did not loiter
by the way. An old woman in waiting, as my
guide, conducted me by a little garden-gate into a
large house, and left me in an elegant closet, saying,
Stay here, I will acquaint my mistress with your
arrival. I observed a great many articles of value

270 G/L SLAS.

in the closet, which was magriificently illuminated ;
but this splendor only caught my attention as con-
firming me in my previous opinion of the lady's high
rank. If appearances strengthened that conjecture,
her noble and majestic air on her entrance left no
doubt on my mind. Yet I was a little out in my
calculation.

Noble sir, said she, after the step I have taken in
your favor it were impertinent to disown my partial-
ity. Your brilliant actions of to-day, in presence
of the court, were not the inspirers of my senti-
ments ; they only urge forward this avowal. I have
seen you more than once, have inquired into your
character, and the result has determined me to follow
the impulse of my heart. But do not suppose that
you are well with a duchess, I am but tlie widow
of a captain in the King's Guards ; yet there is
something to throw a radiance round your Aictory
.... the preference you have gained over one of
the first noblemen in the kingdom. The Duke
d'Almeyda loves me, and presses his suit with ar-
dor, yet without success. My vanity only induces
me to bear liis importunities.

Though I saw plainly, by this address, that I had
got in with a coquette, my presiding star was not a
whit out of my good graces for involving me in this
adventure. Donna Hortensia, for that was the lady's
name, was just in the ripeness and luxuriance of
youth and dazzling beauty. Nay, more, she had re-
fused the possession of her heart to the earnest en-
treaties of a duke, and offered it unsolicited to me.

klsTonr OF DON POMPEYO DE CASfRO. 27 1

What a feather in the cap of a Spanish cavaher ! I
prostrated myself at Hortensia's feet, to thank her
for her favors. I talked just as a man of gallantry
always does talk, and she had reason to be satisfied
with the extravagance of my acknowledgments.
Thus we parted the best friends in the world, on the
terms of meeting every evening when the Duke
d'Almeyda was prevented from coming ; and she
promised to give me due notice of his absence. The
bargain was exactly fulfilled, and I was turned into
the Adonis of this new Venus.

But the pleasures of this life arc transitory. With
all the lady's precautions to conceal our private treaty
of commerce from my rival, he found means of gain-
ing a knowledge, of which it concerned us greatly to
keep him ignorant : a disloyal chamber-maid divulged
the state secret. This nobleman, naturally generous,
but proud, self-sufficient, and violent, was exasper-
ated at my presumption. Anger and jealousy set
him beside himself. Taking counsel only with his
rage, he resolved on an infamous revenge. One
night when I was with Hortensia, he waylaid me at
the little garden gate, with all his servants provided
with cudgels. As soon as I came out, he ordered
me to be seized, and beat to death by these wretches.
Lay on, said he, let the rash intruder give up the
ghost under your chastisement ; thus shall his in-
solence be punished. No sooner had he finished
these words, than his myrmidons assaulted me in a
body, and gave me such a beating, as to stretch me
senseless on the ground : after which they hurried off

272 GIL BLAS.

with their master, to whom this butchery had been a
deHcious pastime. I lay the remainder of the night,
just as they had left me. At day-break, some peo-
ple passed by, who, finding that life was still in me,
had the humanity to carry me to a surgeon. For-
tunately my wounds were not mortal ; and, falling
into skilful hands, I was perfectly cured in two
months. At the end of that period I made my
appearance again at court, and resumed my former
way of life, except that I steered clear of Hortensia,
who on her part made no further attempt to renew
the acquaintance, because the duke, on that condi-
tion, had pardoned her infidelity.

As my adventure was the town talk, and I was
known to be no coward, people were astonished to
see me as quiet as if I had received no afii'ont ; for
I kept my thoughts to myself, and seemed to have
no quarrel with any man li\ ing. No one knew what
to think of my counterfeited insensibility. Some
imagined that, in spite of my courage, the rank of
the aggressor overawed me, and occasioned my tacit
submission. Others, with more reason, mistrusted
my silence, and considered my oiFensive demeanor as
a cover to my revenge. The king was of opinion
with these last, that I Avas not a man to put up with
an insult, and that I should not be wanting to my-
self at a convenient opportunity. To discover my
real intentions, he sent for me one day into his
closet, where he said : Don Pompeyo, I know what
accident has befallen you, and am surprised, I own,
at yoxu- forbearance. You are certainly acting a

HISTORY Of DON POMPEYO DE CASTRO. ^7$

part. Sire, answered I, how can I know whom to
challenge ? I was attacked in the night by persons
unknown : it is a misfortune of Avhich I must make
the best. No, no, replied the king, I am not to be
duped by these evasive answers. The whole story
has reached my ears. The Duke d'Almeyda has
touched your honor to the quick. You are nobly
born, and a Castilian : I know what that double
character requires. You cherish hostile designs.
Admit me a party to your purposes ; it must be so.
Never fear the consequences of making me your con-
fidant.

Since your majesty commands it, resumed I, my
sentiments shall be laid ojien without reserve. Yes,
sir, I meditate a severe retribution. Every man,
wearing such a name as mine, must account for its
untarnished lustre with his family. You know the
unworthy treatment I have experienced ; and I pur-
pose assassinating the Duke d'Almeyda, as a mode
of revenge corresponding to the injury. I shall
plunge a dagger in his bosom, or shoot him through
the head, and escape, if I can, into Spain. This is
my design.

It is violent, said the king : and yet I have little
to say against it, after the provocation which the
Duke d'Almeyda has given you. lie is worthy of
the punishment you destine for him. But do not be
in a hurry with your project. Leave me to devise a
method of brinijiny; you tojjether a^rain as friends.
O ! sir, exclaimed I with vexation, why did you
extort my secret from me? What expedient

VOL. I, 18

274 G!/L BLAS.

can ... If niine is not to your satisfaction, inter-
rupted he, you may execute your first intention. I
do not mean to abuse your confidence. I shall not
imj^licate your honor ; so rest contented on that head.
I was greatly puzzled to guess by what means
the king designed to terminate this aflfair amicably :
but thus it was. He sent to speak with the Duke
d'Almeyda in private. Duke, said he, you have in-
sulted Don Pompeyo de Castro. You are not igno-
rant that he is a man of noble birth, a soldier who
has served with credit, and stands high in my favor.
You owe hhn reparation. I am not of a temper to
refuse it, answered the Duke. If he complains of
my outrageous behavior, I am ready to justify it by
the law of arms. Something very different must be
done, replied tlie king : a Spanish gentleman under-
stands the point of honor too well, to fight on equal
terms with a cowardly assassin. I can use no milder
term ; and you can only atone for the heinousness
of your conduct, by presenting a cane in person to
your antagonist, and oflfcring to submit yourself to
its discipline. O Heaven ! exclaimed the duke :
what ! sir, would you have a man of my rank
degrade, debase, himself before a simple gentle-
man, and submit to be caned ! Js^o, replied the
monarch, I will oblige Don Pompeyo to promise not
to touch you. Only offer him the cane, and ask his
pardon : that is all I require from you. And that is
too much, sir, interrupted the Duke d'Almeyda
warmly : I had rather remain exposed to all the
secret machinations of his resentment. Your life

fH^ MEETING. 275

is dear to me, said tlie king ; and I sliould wish this
affair to have no bad consequences. To terminate
it with less disgust to yourself, I Avill be the only
witness of the satisfaction which I order you to offer
to the Spaniard.

The king was obliged to stretch his influence over
the duke to the utmost, before he could induce him
to so mortifying a step. However, the peremptory,
monarch effected his puqjose, and then sent for me.
He related the particulars of his conversation with
my enemy, and enquired if I should be content with
the stipulated reparation. I answered, Yes ; and
gave my word that, far from striking the offender,
I would not even accept the cane when he presented
it. With this understanding, the duke and myself
at a certain hour attended the king, who took us
into his closet. Come, said he to the duke, ac-
knowledge vour fault, and deserve to be forfjiven
by the humility of your contrition. Then my an-
tagonist made his apology, and offered me the cane
in his hand. Don Pompeyo, said the monarch un-
expectedly, take the cane, and let not my presence
prevent you from doing justice to your outraged
honor. I release you from your promise not to
strike the duke. No, sir, answered I, it is enough
that he has submitted to the indignity of the offer :
an offended Spaniard asks no more. Well then, re-
plied the king, since you are content with this satis-
faction, you may both of you at once assume the
privilege of a gentlemanly quarrel. Measure your
swords, and discuss the question honorably. It is

§76 <^iL SLAS.

what I most ardently desire, exclaimed the Duke
d'AImeyda in a menacing tone ; for that only is
competent to make me amends for the disgraceful
step I have taken.

With these words, he went away, full of rage
and shame ; and sent to tell me two hours after,
that he was waiting for me in a retired place. I
,kept the appointment, and found this nobleman
ready to fight lustily. He was not five and forty ;
deficient, neither in courage nor in skill : so that
the match was fair and equal. Come on, Don
Pompeyo ! said he ; let us terminate our diflference
here. Our hostility ought to be reciprocally mortal ;
yours, for my aggression, and mine, for having asked
your pardon. These words were no sooner out of
his mouth, than he drew upon me so suddenly that
I had no time to reply. He pressed very closely
upon me at first, but I had the good fortune to put
by all his thrusts. I acted on the offensive, in my
turn : the encounter was evidently with a man
equally skilled in defence or in attack ; and there is
no knowing^ what miffht have been the issue, if he
had not made a false step in retiring, and fallen
backwards. I stood still immediately, and said to
the duke. Recover yourself. Why give me any
quarter? he answered. Your forbearance only ag-
gravates my disgrace. I will not take advantage of
an accident, replied I ; it would only tarnish my
glory. Once more recover yom'self, and let us fight
it out.

Don Pompeyo, said he, rising, after this act of

TIIEY BECOME FRIENDS. 277

generosity, honor allows me not to renew the attack
upon you. What would the world say of me, were
I to wound you mortally? 1 should be branded as
a coward for having murdered a man, at whose
mercy I had just before lain prostrate. I cannot,
therefore, again lift my arm against your life, and I
feel my resentful passions subsiding into the sweet
emotions of gratitude. Don Pompeyo, let us mutu-
ally lay aside our hatred. Let us go still further ;
let us be friends. Ah ! my lord, exclaimed I, so
flattering a proposal I joyfully accept. I proffer
you my sincere friendship ; and, as an earnest,
promise never more to approach Donna Hortensia,
though she herself should invite me. It is my duty,
said he, to yield that lady to you. Justice requires
me to give her up, since her affections are youi's
already. No, no, interrupted I : you love her.
Her partiality in my favor would give you uneasi-
ness ; I sacrifice my own pleasure to your peace.
Ah ! too generous Castilian, replied the duke, em-
bracing me ; your sentiments are truly noble. With
what remorse do they strike me ! Grieved and
ashamed, I look back on the outrage you have sus-
tained. The reparation in the king's chamber seems
now too trifling. A better recompense awaits you.
To obliterate all remembrance of your shame, take
one of my nieces, whose hand is at my disposal.
She is a rich heiress, not fifteen, with beauty beyond
the attractions of mere youth.

I made my acknowledgements to the duke in
t^nijs such as the high honor of his alliance might

278 ^IL BLAS.

suggest, and married his niece a few days afterwards.
All the court complimented this nobleman on hav-
ing made such generous amends to an insulted rival ;
and my friends to(jk part in my joy at the happy
issue of an adventure which might have led to the
most melancholy consequences. From this time,
gentlemen, I have lived happily at Lisbon. I am
the idol of my wife, and have not sunk the lover in
the husband. The Duke d'Almeyda gives me new
proofs of friendship every day ; and I may venture
to boast of standing high in the King of Portuo-al's
good graces. The importance of my errand hither
sufficiently assures me of his confidence.

CHAPTER VIII.

AN ACCIDENT, JN CONSEQUENCE OF WHICH GIL BLAS WAS
OBLIGED TO LOOK OUT FOR ANOTHER PLACE.

Such was Don Pcmpeyo's story, which Don
Alexo's servant and myself overheard, though we
were prudently sent away before he began his re-
cital. Instead of withdrawing, we skulked behind
the door, which we had left half open, and from
that station we did not miss a word. After this,
the company went on drinking ; but they did not
prolong their carousals till the morning, because
Don Pompeyo, who was to speak Avith the prime
jiiinister, wished for a little rest beforehand. The

TUB FTCmTlOiS LOVE-LETTER. 279

Marquis dc Zenctte, and my master took a cordial
leave of the stranger, and left him with his kins-
man.

We went to bed, for once, before daybreak ; and
Don Matthias, when he awoke, irt vested me with a
new office. Gil Bias, said he, take pen, ink, and
paper, and write two or three letters, as I shall dic-
tate : you shall, henceforth, be my secretary. Well
and good ! said I to myself — a plurality of func-
tions. As footman, I follow my master's heels ; as
valet-de-chambre, I help him to dress ; and write
for him, as his secretary. Heaven be praised, for
my apotheosis ! Like the triple Hecate of the
Pantheon, I am to enact three different characters
at the same time. Can you guess my intention?
continued he. Thus it is : but take care what you
are about ; your life may depend on it. As I am
continually meeting with fellows who boast of their
success among the women, I mean by way of get-
ting the upper hand, to fill my pockets with fictitious
love-letters, and read them in company. It will be
amusing enough. Happier than my competitors,
who make conquests only for the pleasure of the
boast, I shall take the credit of intrigue, and spare
myself the labor. But vary your writing, so that
the manufacture may not be detected by the same-
ness of the hand.

I then sat down, to comply with the command of
Don Matthias, who first dictattnl a tender epistle to
this tune : Yoic did not keep i/our promise to-niffht.
All! Don Matthias, how will you exculpate your-

2^0 ^^-^ BLAS.

self 9 My error was a cruel one ! But you pun-^
ish me deservedly for my vanity, in fancying that
business and amuseme7it were all to give way be-
fore the pleasure of seeing Donna Clara de Men-
doza! After this pretty note, he made me write
another, as if from a lady, who sacrificed a prince
to him ; and tlien a tliird, whose fair writer offered,
if she could rely on his discretion, to embark with
him for the shores of C^i:herean enchantment. It
was not enough to dictate these love-sick strains ;
he forced me to subscribe them, with the most high-
flying names in Madrid. I could not forbear hint-
inor at some little hazard in all this, but he beofired
me to keep my sage counsels, till they were called
for. I was obliged to hold my tongue, and dispatch
his orders out of hand. That done, he got up and
dressed, with my assistance. The letters were put
into his pocket, and out he went. I followed him
to dinner, with Don Juan de Moncade, who enter-
tained five or six gentlemen of his acquaintance
that day.

There was a grand set-out, and mirth, the best
relish, was not wanting to the banquet. All the
guests contributed to enliven the conversation, some
by wit and humor, others by anecdotes, of which
the relaters were the heroes. My master would not
lose so fine an opportunity of bringing our joint
performances to bear. He read them audibly, and
with so much assurance, that probably the whole
party with the exception of liis secretary, was taken
in by the device, Among the company, before

THE TRICK IS DISCOVERED. 281

whom this trick was impudently played off, there
was one person, by name Don Lope de Velasco.
This person, a very grave don, instead of making
himself merry, like the rest, with the fictitious tri-
umphs of the reader, asked him coolly if the con-
quest of Donna Clara had been achieved with any
great difficulty? Less than the least, answered Don
Matthias ; the advances were all on her side. She
saw me in public, and took a fancy to my person.
A scout was commissioned to follow me, and thus
she got at my name and condition. She wrote to
me, and gave me an appointment, at an hour of the
night, when the house was sure to be quiet. I was
true as the needle to the pole ; her bed-chamber was
the place .... But prudence and delicacy forbid
my describing what passed there.

At this instance of tender regard for the lady's
character. Sign or de Velasco betrayed some %'ery
passionate workings, in his countenance. It was
easy to see the interest he took in the subject. Al]
these letters, said he to my master, looking at him
with an eye of indignation and contempt, are infa-
mous forgeries ; and, above all, that which you
boast of having received from Donna Clara de Men-
doza. There is not, in all Spain, a more modest
young creature than herself. For these two years,
a gentleman, at least your equal in birtli and per-
sonal merit, has been trying every method of insin-
uating himself into lier heart. Scarcely have his
assiduities extorted the sliji^litest cncourajjement ;
but yet he may flatter himself tliat, if anything

282 GIL BIAS.

beyond common civility had been granted at all,
it would have been to him only. Well, who says
to the contrary? interru})ted Don Matthias, in a
bantering way. I agree with you, that the lady is
a very pretty-beha^ ed young lady. On my part, I
am a very pretty-behaved young gentleman. Ergo,
you may rest assured that nothing took place
between us but what was pretty and well-
behaved. Indeed ! This is too much, interrupted
Don Lope, in his turn ; let us lay aside this unsea-
sonable jesting. You are an impostor. Donna
Clara never gave you an appointment by night.
Her reputation shall not be blackened by your
ribaldry. But })rudence and delicacy forbid my
describing what must pass between you and me.
With this retort on his lips, he looked contemptu-
ously round, and withdrew with a menacing aspect,
which anticipated sei'ious consequences, to my judg-
ment. My master, whose courage was better than
his cause, held the threats of Don Lope in derision.
A blockhead ! exclaimed he, bursting into a loud fit
of laughter. Our knights-errant used to tilt for the
beauty of their mistresses ; this fellow would engage
in the lists, for the forlorn hope of virtue in his ; he
is more ridiculous than his jirototypes.

Velasco's retiring, in vain opposed by Moncade,
occasioned no interruption to the merriment. The
party, without tliinking further about it, kept the
ball up briskly, and did not part till they had made
free with the next day. We went to bed, that is,
piv master and myself, about five o'clock in the

THE CHALLENGE. 283

morning. Sleep sat heavy on my eyelids, and, as
I thought, was taking permanent possession thereof;
but I reckoned without my host, or rather without
our porter, who came and waked me in an hour, to
say that there was a lad inquiring for me at the
door. O, thou infernal porter ! muttered I, indis-
tinctly, through the interstices of a long yawn ; do
you consider that I haye but now got to bed ? Tell
the little rascal that I am just asleep ; he must
come again, by-and-by. He insists, replied Cer-
berus, on speaking with you instantly ; his business
cannot wait. As that was the case, I got up, put
on nothing but my breeches and doublet, and went
down stairs, swearing and gaping. My friend,
said I, be so good as to let me know what urgent
affair procures me the honor of seeing you so early ?
I have a letter, answered he, to deliver personally
into the hands of Sign or Don Matthias, to be read
by him without loss of time ; it is of the last con-
sequence to liira ; pray, show me into his room.
As I thought the matter looked serious, I took the
liberty of disturbing my master. Excuse me, said
I, for waking you, but the pressing nature ....
What do you want? interrupted he, just in my style,
with the porter. Sir, said the lad, who was at my
elbow, here is a letter from Don Lope de Velasco.
Don Mattliias looked at the cover, broke it, and,
after reading the contents, said to the messenger of
Don Lope, My good fellow, I never get up before
noon, let the party be ever so agreeable ; judge
whether I can be expected to be stirring by six in

284 GIL BLAS.

the morning for a small-sword recreation. You
may tell your master, that, if he chooses to kick his
heels at the spot till half past twelve, we will come
and see how he looks there ; carry him that answer.
With this flippant speech, he plunged down snugly
under the bed-clothes, and fell fa&t asleep again, as
if nothing had happened.

Between eleven and twelve, he got up and dressed
himself, with the utmost composure, and went out,
telling me that there was no occasion for my attend-
ance ; but I was too much on the tenterhooks about
the result to mind his orders. I sneaked after him,
to Saint Jerome's meadow, where I saw Don Lope
de Velasco waiting for him. I took my station to
watch them ; and was an eye-witness to all the cir-
cumstances of their rencounter. They saluted, and
began their fierce debate without delay. The en-
gagement lasted long. They exchanged thrusts
alternately, with equal skill and mettle. The vic-
tory, however, was on the side of Don Lope ; he
ran my master through, laid him helpless on the
ground, and made his escape, with apparent satisfac-
tion at the severe reprisal. I ran up to the unfor-
tunate Don Matthias, and found him in a most des-
perate situation. The sight melted me. I could
not help weeping at a catastrophe to which I had
been an involuntary contributor. Nevertheless, with
all sympathy, I had still my little wits about me.
Home went I, in a hurry, without saying a word.
I made up a bundle of my own goods and chattels,
jjjadvertently slipping in some odd articles, belong-

.i..?x

DEAflt OP DON MATTHIAS. ^g5

ing to my master : and when I had deposited this
with the barber, where my dress, as a fine gen-
tleman, was still lodged, I published the news of the
fatal accident. Any gaper might have it for the
trouble of listening ; and, above all, I took care to
make Rodriguez acquainted with it. He would have
been extremely afflicted, but that his own proceed-
ings in this delicate case required all his attention.
He called the servants together, ordered them to fol-
low him, and we went all together, to Saint Jerome's
meadow. Don Matthias was taken up alive, but
he died three hours after he was broujjht home.
Thus ended the life of Signor Don Matthias de Silva,
only for having taken a fancy to reading suppos-
ititious loverletters unseasonably.

CHAPTER IX.

A NEW SERVICE AFTER THE DEATH OF DON MATTHIAS DE
SIL VA.

Some days after the funeral, tlie establishment
was paid up and discharged. I fixed my head-
quarters with the little barber, in a very close con-
nection, witli whom I began to live. It seemed to
promise more pleasure than with Melendez. As I
was in no want of money, it was time enough to
think of another place ; besides, I had got to be
rather nice on that head. I would not jjo into ser-

^86 ^^^ -^Lis'.

vice any more, but in families above the vulgar. In
short, I was determined to inqvure, very strictly,
into the character of a new place. The best would
not be too good ; such high pretensions did the late
valet of a young nobleman think himself entitled to
assume above the common herd of servants.

Waitinjj till fortune should throw a situation in
my way, worthy to be honored by my acceptance, I
thought I could not do better than to devote my
leisure to my charming Laura, whom I had not seen
since the pleasant occurrence of our double discov-
ery. I could not venture on dressing as Don Cajsar
de Ribera ; it would have been an act of madness to
have assumed that style but as a disguise. Besides
that, my own suit was not much out of condition ;
all smaller articles had propagated miraculously in
the aforesaid bundle. I made myself up, therefore,
with the barber's aid, as a sort of middle man, be-
tween Don Cajsar and Gil Bias. In this demi-
character, I knocked at Arsenia's door. Laura was
alone in the parlor where we had met last. Ah !
is it you, cried she, as soon as she saw me ; I
thought you were lost. You have had leave to
come and see me for this week ; but it seems you
are modest, and do not presume too much on your
license.

I made my apology on the score of my master's
death, with my own engagements consequent there-
upon ; and I added, in the spirit of gallantry, that
in my greatest perplexities my lovely Laura had
always been foremost in my thoughts. That being

Laura's propositioj^. 287

so, said she, I have no more reproatlies to make ;
and I will frankly own that I have thought of you.
As soon as I was acquainted with the untimely end
of Don Matthias, a plan occurred to me, probably
not quite displeasing to you. I have heard my
mistress say, some time ago, that she wanted a sort
of man of business — a good arithmetician — to keep
an exact account of our outgoings. I fixed my affec-
tions on your lordship ; you seem exactly calculated
for such an office. I feel myself, answered I, a
steward by inspiration. I have read all that Aris-
totle has written on finance ; and, as for reducing it
to the modern system of book-keeping .... But,
my dear girl, there is one impediment in the way.
What impediment ? said Laura. I have sworn, replied
I, never again to live with a commoner ; I have sworn
by Styx, or something else as binding. If Jupiter
could not burst the links of such an oath, judge
whether a poor servant ought not to be bound by it.
What do you mean by a commoner? rejoined the
impetuous abigail ; for what do you take us ac-
tresses ? Do you take us for the ribs of the limbs
of the law ! for attorney's wives ? I would have you
to know, my friend, that actresses rank with the first
nobility ; being only common to the uncommon, and,
therefore, though common, uncommonly illustrious.
On that footing, my uncommon commoner, said
I, the post you have destined for me is mine ; I
shall not lower my dignity by accepting it. No ; to
be sure, said she ; backwards and forwards between
a puppy of fashion, and a she-wolf of the stage;

§gg GiL MAS.

why, it is exactly preserving an equilibrium of rank
in the creation. We are sympathetic animals, just
on a level with the people of quality. We have our
equipages in the same style ; we give our little sup-
j^ers on the same scale ; and, on the broad ground,
we are just of as much use in civil society. In fact,
to draw a parallel between a marquis and a player
through the space of four and twenty hours, they
are just on a par. The marquis, for three fourths
of the time, ranks above the player by poHtical
courtesy and sufferance ; the player, during his
hour on the stage, overtops the marquis in the part
of an emperor or a king, which he better knows how
to enact. Thus, there seems to be a balance be-
tween natural and political nobility, Avhich places us
at least on a level with the Uve lumber of the court.
Yes, truly, replied I, you are a match for one
another, there is no gainsaying it. Bless their dear
hearts ! the players are not men of straw, as I fool-
ishly believed, and you have made my mouth water
to serve such a worshipful fraternity. Well, then,
resumed she, you have only to come back again in
two days. That time will be sufficient to incline
my mistress in your favor ; I will speak up for you.
She is a httle under my influence ; I do not fear
bringing you under this roof.

I thanked Laura for her good dispositions. My
gratitude took the readiest way to prove itself to her
comprehension ; and my tender thrillings expressed
more than words. We had a pretty long conversa-
Jtion together, and it might have lasted till this time,

THE INTRODUCTION. 58§

if a little skipping fellow had not come to tell my
nymph of the side scenes, that Arsenia was inquir-
ing for her. AYe parted. I left the house, in the
sweet hope of soon living there scot-free ; and my
face was shown up again at the door in two days.
I was looking out for you, said my accomplished
scout, to assure you, that you are a messmate at this
house. Come, follow me ; I will introduce you to
my mistress. At these words, she led me into a
suite of five or six rooms on a floor, in a regular
gi-adation of costly furniture and tasteful equipment.
What luxury ! What magnificence ! I thought
myself in presence of a vice-queen, or, to mend the
poverty of the comparison, in a fairy palace, where
all the riches of the earth were collected. In fact,
there were the productions of many people and of
many countries, so that one might describe this resi-
dence as the temple of a goddess, whither every
traveller brouglit some rare product of his native
land, as a votive offering. The di\'inity was reclin-
ing on a A'oluptuous, satin sofa : she was lovely in
my eyes, and pampered witli tlie fimies of daily sac-
rifices. She was in a tempting dishabille, and her
polislicd hands were elegantly busy about a new
head-dress fijr her appearance that evening. Madam,
said the abigail, here is that said steward ; take my
word for it you will never get one more to your
liking. Arsenia looked at me very inquisitively, and
did not find me disagreeable. Why, this is some-
thing, Laura ! cried she ; a very smart youth, truly ;
I foresee that we shall do very well together. Then

VOL. I. 19

290 GIL Blas.

directing her discourse to me, Young man, added
she, you suit me to a hair, and I have only one
observation to make : you will be pleased with me,
if I am so with you. I answered, that I should do
my utmost to serve her to her heart's content. As
I found that the bargain was struck, I went imme-
diately to fetch in my own little accommodations,
and returned to take formal possession.

CHAPTER X.

MUCH SUCH ANOTHER AS THE FOREGOINO.

It was near the time of the doors opening. My
mistress told me to attend her to the theatre with
Laura. We went into her dressing-room, where
she threw off her ordinary attire, and assumed a
more splendid costume for the stage. When the
performance began, Laura showed me the way, and
seated herself by my side, where I could see and
hear the actors to advantage. They disgusted me
for the most part, doubtless because Don Pompeyo
had prejudiced me against them. Several of them
were loudly applauded, but the fable of the pig-
would now and then come across my mind.

Laura told me the names of the actors and actresses
as they made their entrances. Nor did she stop
there, for the hussey gave some higlily-seasoned
anecdotes into the barfxain. Her characters were.

GIL BLAS BECOMES JEALOUS. 201

Crack-brain for this, impertinent fellow for tliat.
That delicate sample of sin, who depends on her
wantonness for her attractions, goes by the name of
Rosarda : a bad speculation for the company ! She
ought to be sent with the next cargo to New Spain,
she may answer the purpose of a viceroy. Take
particular notice of that brilliant star now coming
forward ; that magnificent setting sun, increasing in
bulk as its fires become less livid. That is Casilda.
If from that distant day when she first laid herself
open to her lovers, she had required from each of
them a brick to build a pyramid, like an ancient
Egyptian princess, the edifice by this time would
have mounted to the third heaven. In short, Laura
tore all character to pieces by her scandal. Heaven
forgive her wicked tongue I She blasphemed her
own mistress.

And yet I must own my weakness. I was in love
with the wench, though her morals were not strictly
pure. She scandalized with so winning a malignity
that one liked her the better for it. Off went the
j ill-flirt between the acts, to see if Arsenia wanted
her ; but instead of coming straight back to her
place, she amused herself behind the scenes, in lay-
ing herself out for the little flatteries of all the
wheedling fellows. I dogged her once, and found
that she had a very large acquaintance. Xo less
than three players did I reckon up, who stopped to
chat with her one after the other, and they seemed
to be on a very improvable footing. This was not
quite so well ; and, for the first time in my life, I felt

292 G/i BIAS.

whjit jealousy was. I returned to my seat so alDsent
and out of spirits, that Laura remarked it as soon as
she came back to me. AV^hat is the matter, Gil
Bias ? said she with astonishment ; what blue devil
has perched upon your shoulder in my absence?
You look gloomy and out of temper. jNIy fairy
queen, answered I, it is not without reason ; you
have an ugly kick in your gallop. I have observed
you with the players . . . So, so ! An admirable
subject for a long face, interrupted she with a laugh.
What ! That is your trouble is it ? AVhy really !
You are a very silly swain ; but you will get better
notions amono^ us. You will fall bv deo;ress into
our easy manners. No jealousy, my dear creature ;
you will be completely laughed out of it in the
theatrical world. The passion is scarcely known
there. Fathers, husbands, brothers, uncles, and
cousins, are all upon a liberal plan of community,
and often make a strange jumble of relationships.

After having warned me to take no umbrage, but
to look at everything like a philosophical spectator,
she vowed that I was the happy mortal who had
found the way to her heart. She then declared that
she should love ine always, and only me. On this
assurance, which a man might have doubted without
criminal scepticism, I promised her not to be alarmed
any more, and kept my word. I saw licr, on that
very evening, whisper and giggle witli more men
than one. At the end of the play we returned home
with our mistress, whither Florimonde came soon
after to supper, with three old noblemen and a,

SE IS DISGUSTED WITH THE ACTRESSES. 293

player. Besides Laura and myself, the establish--
ment consisted of a cook-maid, a coachman, and a
little footboy. AVe all labored in our respective vo-
cations. The lady of the frying-pan, no less an
adept than dame Jacintha, was assisted in her
cookery by the coachman. The waiting- woman and
the little footboy laid the cloth, and I set out the
sideboard, magnificently furnished with plate, offered
up at the shrine of our green-room goddess. There
was e^•ery variety of wines, and I played the cup-
bearer, to show my mistress the versatility of my
talents. I sweated at the impudenc^e of the actresses
during supper; they gave themselves quality airs,
and affected the tone of hiirli life. Faf from frivinu
their guests all their style and titles, they did not
even vouchsafe a simple " Your lordship," but called
them familiarly by their proper names. To be sure,
the old fools encouraged their vanity by forgetting
their own distance. The player, for his part, in the
habits of the heroic cast, lived on equal terms with
them ; he challenged them to drink, and in cxqyj
respect took the upper hand. In good truth, said I
to myself, while Laura was demonstrating the
equality of the marquis and the comedian dui-ing the
day, she might have drawn a still stronger inference
for the night, since they pass it so merrily in drink-
in'; toj^ether.

Arsenia and Florimonde were naturally frolicsome.
A thousand broad hints escaped them, intermingled
with small favors, and then a co([uettish revolt at
their own freedom, which were all seasoned exactly

294 GIL BLAS.

to the ta^te of these old sinners. While my mis-
tress was entertaining one of them with a little
harmless toying, her friend, between the other
elders, had not taken the cue of Susanna. While I
was contemplating this picture, which had but too
many attractions for a knowing youth like me, the
dessert was brought in. Then I set the bottles and
glasses on the table, and made my escape to sup
with Laura, who was waiting for me. How now,
Gil Bias, said she, what do you think of those
noblemen above stairs? Doubtless, answered T,
they are deeply smitten with Arsenia and Florimonde.
No, replied she, they are old sensualists, who hang
about our sex without any particular attachment.
All they ask is some little frivolous compliance, and
they are generous enough to pay well for the least
trifle of amorous endearment. Heaven be praised !
Florimonde and my mistress are at present without
any serious engagements ; I mean that they have no
husband-like lovers, who expect to engross all the
2:)leasures of a house, because they stand to the ex-
penses. For my part, I am very glad of it : and
maintain that a sensible woman of the world oujjht
to refuse all such monopolies. Why take a master?
It is better to support an establishment by retail
trade, than to confine one's self to chamber practice
on such terms.

When Laura's tongue was wound up, — and it was
seldom down, — words seemed to cost her nothing.
What a glorious volubility ! She told a thousand
stories of the actresses belonging to the prince's com-

ARSENIA CORRECTS HIS PHRASEOLOGY. 295

pany ; and I gathered from her whole drift that I
could not be better situated to take a scientific view
of the cardinal vices. Unfortunately, I was at an
age when tliey inspire but little horror ; and this
abigail had the art of coloring her corruptions so
lusciously, as to hide their deformities, and heighten*
their meretricious lure. She had not time to open
the tenth part of her theatrical budget, for she did
not talk more than three hours. The senators and
the player went away with Florimonde, whom they
saw safe home.

A^^ien they were gone, my mistress said to me :
Here, Gil Bias, are ten pistoles to go to market to-
morrow. Five or six of our gentlemen and ladies
are to dine here, take care that we are well served.
Madam, answered I, with this sum there shall be a
banquet for the whole troop. My friend, replied
Arsenia, correct your phraseology ; you must say
company, not troop. A troop of robbers, a troop
of beggars, a troop of authors ; but a company of
comedians, especially when you have to mention the
actors of Madrid. I begged my mistress's pardon
for having used so disrespectful a term, and entreated
her to excuse my ignorance. I protested that hence-
forward, when I spoke collectively of so august a
body, I would always say the "company."

296 G^^ BLAS.

CHAPTER XL

A THEATRICAL LIFE AND AN AUTHOR'S LIFE.

I TOOK the field the next morning, to open my
campaign as steward. It was a fish day, for which
reason I bought some good fat chickens, rabbits,
partridges, and every variety of game. As the
gentlemen of the sock and buskin are not on the best
possible terms with the church, they are not over
scrupulous in their observance of the rubric. I
brought home provisions more than enough for a
dozen portly gentlemen to ha^e fasted on during a
whole Lent. The cook had a good morning's work.
While she was getting dinner ready, Arsenia got up
and spent the early part of the day at her toilet. At
noon came two of the players, Signor Rosimiro and
Signor Ricardo. Afterwards, two actresses, Con-
stance and Celinaura ; then entered Florimonde,
attended by a man who had all the appearance of a
most spruce cavaHer. He had his hair dressed in
the most elegant manner, Iiis hat set off with a
fashionable plume, very tight breeches, and a shirt
with a laced frill, Ilis gloves and his handkerchief
were in the hilt of liis sword, and he wore his cloak
with a grace altogether peculiar to himself.

With a prepossessing physiognomy, and a good
person, there was something extraordinary in the
first blush of him. Tliis gentleman, said I to my-
self, must be an original. I was not mistaken ; his

AN ODD CHARACTER. ^Q'f

singularities were striking. On his entrance, he ran,
with open arms, and embraced the company, male
and female, one after another. His grimaces were
more extravagant than any I had yet seen in this
region of foppery. ISIy prediction was not falsified
by his discourse. He dwelt with fondness on every
syllable he uttered, and pronounced liis words in an
emphatic tone, with gestures and glances artfully
adapted to the subject. I had the curiosity to ask
Laura who this strange figure might be. I forgive
you, said she, this instance of an inquisitive disposi-
tion. It is impossible to see and to hear Signor
Carlos Alonso de la Ventoleria for the first time,
without ha\'ing such a natural longing. I will paint
him to the. life. In the first place, he was originally
a player. He- left the stage through caprice, and
has since repented in sober sadness of the step. Did
you notice his dark hair? Every thread of it is
penciled, as well as his eyebrows and his AA'hiskers.
He was born in the reign of Saturn's father, in the
age before the golden ; but as there were no parish
registers at that time, he avails himself of the primi-
tive barbarism, and dates at least twenty centuries
below the true epoch. Moreover, his self-suflBciency
keeps pace with his antiquity. He passed the
olympijvls of liis youth in tlie grossest ignorance ;
but taking a fancy to become learned about the
Christian era, he engaged a private tutor, wlio taught
him to spell in Greek and Latin. Nay, more, he
knows by heart an infinite number of good stories,
which he has given so often as genuine, that he

'2()S GIL BLAS.

actually begins to believe them himself. They are
eternally pressed into the service, and it may truly
be said that his wit shines at the expense of his
memory. Pie is thought to be a great actor. I am
•vvilhng to believe it implicitly, but I must own he is
not to my taste. He declaims here sometimes ; and
I have observed, among other defects, an affectation
in his delivery, with a tremulousness of voice border-
ing on the antiquated and ridiculous.

Such was the portrait, drawn by my abigail of
this honorary spouter ; and never was mortal of a
more stately carriage. He prided himself, too, on
being an agreeable companion. He never was at a
loss for a commodity of trite remarks, which he
delivered with an air of authority. On the other
hand, the Thespian fraternity Avere not much ad-
dicted to silence. They began canvassing their
absent coUeaiyues in a manner little consistent with
charity, it must be owned ; but this is a failing
pardonable in players as well as in authors. The
fire grew brisk and the satire personal. You have
not heard, ladies, said Rosimiro, a new stroke of
our dear brother Cesarino. This very morning he
bought silk stockings, ribbons, and laces, and sent
them to rehearsal by a little page, as a present fi'om
a countess. What a knavish trick ! said Signor de la
Ventoleria, with a smile made up of fatuity and con-
ceit. In my time there was more honesty : we
never thought of descending to such impositions.
To be sure, women of fashion were tender of our in-
ventive faculties, nor did they leave such purchases

CONVERSATION AT ARSENIA'S BANQUET. 299

to be made out of our own pockets ; it was their
whim. By the honor of our house, said Ricardo, in
the same strain, that whim of theirs is lasting, and
if it were allowable to kiss and tell . . . But one
must be secret on these occasions ; above all when
persons of a certain rank are concerned.

Gentlemen, interrupted Florimonde, a truce, if
you please, with your conquests and successes, they
are known over the whole earth. Apropos of Is-
mene. It is said tliat the nobleman who has fooled
away so much money upon her, has at length recov-
ered his senses. Yes indeed, exclaimed Constance ;
and I can tell you besides that she has lost, by the
same stroke, a snug little hero of the counting-
house, whose ruin would otlierwise have been signed
and sealed. I have the thing from the first hand.
Her Mercury made an unfortunate mistake, for he
carried a tender invitation to each, and delivered
them wrong. Tliese were great losses, my darling,
quoth Florimonde. O ! as for that of the lord,
replied Constance, it is a very trifling matter. The
man of blood had almost run through his estate, but
the little fellow with the pen behind his ear was but
just coming into play. He had never been fleeced
before, it is a })ity he should have escaped so easily.

Such was the tenor of the conversation before din-
ner, and it was not much mended in its morality at
table. As I should never have done with the re-
cital of all their ribaldry and nonsense, the reader
will excuse the omission, and pass on to the entrance
of a poor devil, yclept an author, wlio called just be-
fore the cloth was taken away,

300 ^^^ BLAs.

Our little footboy came, and said to my mistress
in an audible voice, Madam, a man in a dirty shirt,
splashed up. to his middle, with very much the look
of a poet, saving your presence, wants to speak to
you. Let him walk up, answered Arsenia. Keep
your seats, gentlemen, it is only an author. To be
sure so it was, one whose tragedy had been accepted,
and he was bringing my mistress her part. His
name was Pedro de jVIoya. On coming into the
room he made five or six low bows to the company,
who neither rose nor took the least notice of him.
Arsenia just returned his superabundant civilities with
a slight inclination of the head. He came forward
with tremor and embarrassment. He dropped his
gloves and let his hat fall. He ventured to pick
them up again, then advanced towards my mistress,
and presenting to her a paper with more ceremony
than a defendant an afHda\'it to the judge of the
court : Madam, said he, have the goodness to re-
ceive under your protection the part I take the lib-
erty of offering you. She stretched out her hand
for it with cold and contemptuous indifference ; nor
did she condescend even to notice the compliment by
a look.

But our author was not disheartened. Seizing:
this opportunity to distribute the cast, he gave one
character to Rosimiro and another to Florimonde,
who treated him just as genteelly as Arsenia had
ddne. On the contrary, the low comedian, a very
pleasant fellow, as those gentlemen for the most part
aflfect to be, insulted him with the most cutting sar-

OPINIONS ABOUT AUTHORS. 30i

casms. Pedro de Moya was not made of stone.
Yet he dared not take up the aggressor, lest his
piece should suffer for it. He withdrew without
saying a word, but stung to the quick, as it seemed
to me, by his reception. lie could not fail, in the
transports of his anger, mentally to apostrophize the
players as they deserved : and the players, when he
was jjone, began to talk of authors in return with
infinite deference and kindness. It should seem,
said Florimonde, as if Signor de Moya did not go
away very wx41 pleased.

Well ! madam, cried Rosimiro, and why should
you trouble yourself about that ? Are we to study
the feelings of authors ? If we were to admit them
upon equal terms, it would only be tlie way to spoil
them. I know that contemptible squad ; I know
them of old : they would soon forget tlieir distance.
There is no dealing; with them but as slaves ; and as
for tiring their patience, never fear that. Tliough
they may take themselves off in a pet sometimes,
the itch of writing brings them back again ; and
they are raised to the third heaven, if we will but
condescend to support their pieces. You are right,
said Arsenia ; we never lose an author till we have
made his fortune. When tliat is done, as soon as
we have provided for the ungrateful devils, tliey get
to be in good case, and then they run restive.
Luckily, the manager does not break his heart after
them, and one is just as good as another to the
public.

These liberal and sagacious remarks met with their

30^ , GiL BLAH.

full share of approbation. It was carried unani-
mously that authors, though treated rather too scurv-
ily behind the scenes, were on the whole the obliged
persons. These fretters of an hour upon the stage
ranked the inhabitant of Parnassus below themselves ;
and malice could not dejjrade him lower.

►W!-*^

CHAPTER XIL

OIL BLAS ACQUIRES A RELISH FOR THE THEATRE, AND TAKES
A FULL SWING OF ITS PLEASURES, BUT SOON BECOMES
DISGUSTED.

The party sat at the table till it was time to go to
the theatre. I went after them, and saw the play
again that evening. I took such delight in it, that
I was for attending every day. I never missed, and
by degrees got accustomed to the actors. Such is
the force of habit. I was particularly delighted
with those Avho were most artificial and unnatural ;
nor was I singular in my taste.

The beauties of composition affected me much on
the same principle as the excellence of representation.
There were some pieces with which I was enrap-
tured. I liked, among others, those Avhich brought
all the cardinals or the twelve peers of France
upon the stage. I got hold of striking passages in
these incomparable performances. I recollect that
in two days I learned by heart a whole play, called
The Queen of Flowers. The Rose, who was the

HE CVLTtVAfES A DRAMATIC TAsTE. 303

queen, had the Violet for her maid of honor, and
the Jessamine for lier prime minister. I could con-
ceive nothing more elegant or refined : such produc-
tions seemed to be the triumph of our Spanish wit
and invention.

I w^as not content to store my memory and disci-
pline my mind w^ith the choicest selections from these
dramatic masterpieces : but I was bent on polishing
my taste to the highest perfection. To secure this
grand object, I listened with greedy ears to every
word which fell from the lips of the players. If
they commended a piece, I was ravished by it : but
suppose they pronounced it bad? why then I main-
tained that it was infernal stuff. I conceived that
they must determine the merits of a play, as a jew-
eller the water of a diamond. And yet the tragedy
by Pedro de Moya was eminently successful, though
they had predicted its entire miscarriage. This,
however, was no disparagement of their critical skill
in my estimation ; and I had rather believe the audi-
ence to be divested of common sense, than doubt the
infallibility of the company. But they assured me
on all hands, that their judgments were usually con-
firmed by the rule of contraries. It seemed to be a
maxim with them, to set their faces point-blank
against the taste of the public ; and as a proof of
this, there were a thousand cases in point of imex-
pected successes and failures. All these testimonies
were scarcely sufficient to undeceive me.

I shall never forget what happened one day at the
first representation of a new comedy. The perform-

304 GIL BIAS.

ers had pronounced it uninteresting and tedious ;
they had even prophesied that it would not be heard
to the end. Under tliis impression, they got through
the first act, whicli was loudly applauded. This was
very astonishing ! They played the second act ; the
audience liked it still better than the first. The act-
ors were confounded. What the devil, said Rosi-
miro, this comedy succeeds ! At last they went on in
the third act, which rose as a third act ought to rise.
I am quite thrown upon my back, said Ricardo ; we
thought this piece would not be relished ; and all the
world are mad after it. Gentlemen, said one of the
players archly, it is because we happened accidentally
to overlook all the wit.

From this time I held my opinion no longer of the
players as competent judges , and began to appreciate
their merit more truly than they had estimated that
of the authors. All the lampoons which were cui*-
rent about them were fully justified. The actors and
actresses ran riot on the applause of the town, and
stood so high in their own conceit, as to think
that they conferred a favor by appealing on the
boards. I was shocked at their public misconduct ;
but unfortunately reconciled myself too easily to their
private manners, and plunged into debauchery. How
could I do otherwise ? Every word they uttered was
poison in the ears of youth, and every scene that was
presented, an alluring picture of corruption. Had I
been a stranger to what passed with Casilda, with
Constance, and with the other actresses, Arsenia's
house alone would have been sufficient for my ruin.

kE t'lNDS HIMSELF tN BAD COMPANY. $05

Besides tlie old noblemen of whom I have spoken,
there came thither young debauchees of fashion, who
forestalled their inheritances by the disinterested me-
diation of money-lenders : and sometimes we had
officers under government, who were so far from
receiving fees, as at their public boards, that they
paid most exorbitant ones for the privilege of mixing
with such worshipful society.

Florhnonde, wlio lived at next door, dined and
supped with Arsenia every day. Their long inti-
macy surprised every one. Coquettes were not
thought usually to maintain so good an understand-
ing with each other. It was concluded that they
would quarrel, sooner or later, about some para-
mour ; but such reasoners could not see into the
hearts of these exemplary friends. They were united
in the bonds of indissoluble love. Instead of har-
boring jealousy, like other women, they had evorj-
thing in common. They had rather divide the plun-
der of mankind, than childishly fall out, and contend
for trumpery, as hearts and affections.

Laura, after the example of these two illustrious
partners, turned the fresh season of youth to the best
advantage. She had told me that I should see
strange doings. And yet I did not take up the
jealous part. I had promised to adopt the prmci-
ples of the company on that score. For some days
I kept my thoughts to myself. I only just took the
liberty of asking her the names of the men whom she
favored with her private ear. She always told me that
tiiey were uncles or cousins. From what a prolific

VOL. I. 20

306 GIL BLAS.

family was she sprung ! King Priam had no luck
in propagation, compared with her ancestors. Nor
did this precious abigail confine herself to her uncles
and cousins : she went now and then to lay a trap
for unwary aliens, and personate the widow of qual-
ity under the auspices of the discreet old dowager
above mentioned. In short, Laura, to hit off her
character exactly, was just as young, just as pretty,
and just as loose as her mistress, who had no other
advantage over her than that of figuring in a more
public capacity.

I was borne down by the torrent for three weeks,
and ran the career of dissipation in my turn. But I
must at the same time say for myself, that in the
midst of pleasure I frequently felt the still small
voice of conscience, arising from the impression of a
serious education, which mixed gall in the Circean
cup. Riot could not altogether get the better of
remorse : on the contrary, the pangs of the last grew
keener with the more shameful indulgence of the
first; and, by a happy effect of my temperament,
the disorders of a theatrical life began to make me
shudder. Ah ! wretch, said I to myself, is it thus
. that you make good the hopes of your family ? Is
it not enough to have thwarted their pious inten-
tions, by not following your destined course of life
as an instructor of youth ? Need your condition of
a servant hinder you from living decently and sober-
ly ? Are such monsters of iniquity fit companions
for you? En-sy, hatred, and avarice are predomi-
nant here ; intemperance and idleness have purchased

HE bEcWES ON LEAVIl^G AtiSENtA. 30"/

the fee-simple there ; the pride of some is aggravated
into tlie most barefaced impudence, and modesty is
turned out of doors, by the common consent of all.
The business 1*1 settled : I will not live any longer
with the seven deadly sins.

\

308 ^^^ J^-^^'S.

BOOK THE FOURTH.

CHAPTER I.

OIL BIAS, NOT BEINO ABLE TO RECONCILE HIMSELF TO THE
MORALS OF THE ACTRESSES, QUITS ARSENIA, AND GETS
INTO A MORE REPUTABLE SERVICE.

A SURVIVING spark of honor and of religion, in
the midst of so general depravity, made me resolve
not only to leave Arsenia, but even to abjure all
commerce with Laura, whom yet I could not cease
to love, though I was well aware of her daily incon-
stancy. Happy the man who can thus profit by
those appeals, which occasionally interrupt the head-
long course of his pleasures ! One fine morning,
I made up my bundle, and, without reckoning with
Arsenia, who indeed owed me next to nothing, with-
out taking leave of my dear Laura, I burst from
that mansion, which smelt of brimstone and fire
reserved for the wicked. I had no sooner taken so
virtuous a step, than providence interfered in my
behalf. I met the steward of my late master, Don
Matthias, and greeted him ; he knew me again at
once, and stopped to enquire where I lived. I
answered that I had just left my place ; that after
staying near a month with Arsenia, whose manners
did not at all suit me, I was come away by a sudden

FORTUNE FAVORS HIM. 309

impulse of virtue, to save my innocence. The stew-
ard, just as if he had been himself of a religious
cast, commended my scruples, and offered me a
place much to my advantage, since I was so chaste
and honest a youth. lie kept liis word, and in-
troduced me, on tliat very day, into the family of
Don Vincent de Gusman, with whose agent he was
acquainted.

I could not have got into a better service ; nor did
I repent in the sequel of having accepted the situa-
tion. Don Vincent was a very rich old nobleman,
who had lived many years unincumbered with law-
suits or with a wife. The physicians had removed
the last plague out of the way, in their attempts to
rid her of a cough, whicli miijht have lasted a g^reat
while longer, if the remedies had not been more fatal
than the disease. Far from thinking of tlie holy
state a second time, he gave himself up entirely to
the education of his only daughter Aurora, who was
then entering her twenty-sixth year, and miglit pass
for an accomplished person. With beauty above the
common, she had an excellent and highly-cultivated
understanding. Her father was a poor creature as
to intellect, but he possessed the happy talent of
looking well after his affairs. One fault he had, of
a kind excusable in old men : he was an incessant
talker, especially about war and fighting. If that
string was unfortunately touched in his presence, in
a moment he blew his heroic trumpet, and his hear-
ers might think themselves lucky if they compojuided
for a gazette extraordinary of two sieges and three

310 C?7L BLAS.

battles. As he had spent two thirds of his life in
the service, his memory was an inexhaustible depot
of various facts ; but the patience of the listeners did
not always keep pace with the perseverance of the
relater. The stories, sufficiently prolix themselves',
were still further spun out by stuttering, so that the
manner was still less happy than the matter. In all
other respects, I never met with a nobleman of a
more amiable character : his temper was even ; he
was neither obstinate nor capricious ; the general
alternative of men in the liigher ranks of life.
Though a good economist, he lived like a gentleman.
His establishment was composed of several men
servants, and three women in waitino; on Aurora.
I soon discovered that the steward of Don Matthias
had procured me a good post, and my only anxiety
was to establish myself firmly in it. I took a,l
possible pains to feel the ground under my feet, and
to study the characters of the whole household : then
regulating my conduct by my discoveries, I was not
long in ingratiating myself with my master and all
the servants.

I had been with Don Vincent above a month,
when it struck me that his daughter was very par-
ticular in her notice of me above all the servants in
the family. Whenever her eyes happened accidently
to meet mine, they seemed to be suffused with a
certain partial complacency, which did not enter into
her silent communications with the vulffar. Had it
not been for my haunts among the coxcombs of the
|.|ieatrical tribe and their hangers-on, it would never

HIH IDEAS CONCERNING AURORA. 311

have entered into my head that Aurora should throw
away a thought on me : but my brain had been a
little turned among those gentry, from whose liber-
tine suspicions of ladies of the noblest birth are not
always held sacred. If, said I, those chronicles of
the age are to be believed, fimcy and liigh blood lead
women of quality a dance, in which they sometimes
join hands with unequal partners : how do I know
but my young mistress may caper to a tune of my
piping? But no ; it cannot be so, neither. This is
not one of your Messalinas, who, derogating from
the loftiness of ancestry, unworthily let down their
regards to the dust, and sully their pure honor with-
out a blush : but rather one of those virtuously ap-
prehensive, yet tender-hearted girls, who encircle
their softness within the insurmountable pale of
delicacy ; yet think it no tampering with chastity, to
inspire and cherish a sentimental flame, interesting
to the heart without bcino; daufjerous to the morals.

Such were my ideas of my mistress, without
knowing exactly whether they were right or wrong.
And yet, when we met, she was continually caught
with a smile of satisfaction on her countenance.
Without passing for a fop, a man might give in to
such flattering appearances ; and a philosophical
apathy was not to be expected from mc. I conceived
Aurora to have been deeply smitten with my irresisti-
ble attractions, and looked on myself henceforth in
the light of a favored attendant, Avhose servitude was
to be sweetened by the balmy infusion of love. To
appear in some measure less unworthy of the bless-

312 GIL BIAS.

ings, which propitious fortune had kept in store for
me, I began to take better care of my person than I
had done heretofore. I laid out my slender stock of
money in linen, pomatums, and essences. The first
thing in the morning was to prank up and perfume
myself, so as not to be in an undress in case of being
sent for into the presence of my mistress. With
these attentions to personal elegance and other dex-
terous strokes in the art of pleasing, I flattered
myself that the moment of my bliss was not very
distant.

Among Aurora's women there was one who went
by the name of Ortiz. This was an old dowager,
who had been a fixture in Don Vincent's family for
more than twenty years. She had been about his
daughter from her childhood, and still held the office
of duenna ; but she no longer performed the invidi-
ous part of the duty. On the contrary, instead of
blazoning, as formerly, Aurora's little indiscretions,
her skill was now employed in throwing them into
shade. One evening, Dame Ortiz, having watched
her opportunity of speaking to me without observa-
tion, said, in a low voice, that if I was close and
trustworthy, I had only to be in the garden at mid-
night, when a scene would be laid open in which I
should not be sorry to be an actor. I answered the
duenna, pressing her hand significantly, that I would
not fail, and we parted in a hurry for fear of surprise.
How the hours lagged from this moment till supper
time, though we supped very early. Then again,
from supper to my master's bed time ! It should

AN ADVENTURE. 313

seem as if the march of the whole family was timed
to a largo movement. By way of helping forward
the fidgets, when Don Vincent withdrew to his
chamber, the army was put on the war establish-
ment, and we were obliged to fight the campaigns in
Portugal o\'er again, though my ears had not re-
covered from the din of the last cannonade. But a
favor from which I had hitherto made my escape,
was reserved for this eventful evening. He repeated
the army list from beginning to end, with copious
digressions on the exploits of those officers who had
distinguished themselves in his time. O, my poor
tympanum ! It was almost cracked before we got
to the end. Time, however, will wear out even an
old man's story, and he went to bed. I immediately
went to my own little chamber, whence there was a
way into the garden by a private staircase. I de-
pended on my purchase of perfumery for overcoming
the effluvia of tlie day's drudgery, and put on a clean
shirt highly scented. When every invention had
been pressed into the scr^•ice to render my person
worthy of its destiny, and cherish the fondness of my
mistress, I went to the appointment.

Ortiz was not tlierc. I concluded that, tired of
waiting for me, she had gone back to her chamber,
and that the happy moments of philandering was
over. I laid all the blame on Don Vincent ; but
just as I was singing Te Deum backwards for liis
campaigns, I heard the clock strike ten. To be sure
it must be wrong ! It could not be less than one
o'clock. Yet I was so egregiously out in my reckon-^

314 G7Z, BLAS.

ing, that full a quarter of an hour afterwards, 1
counted ten upon my fingers by the clock at next
door. Vastly well, thought I to myself, I have only
two complete hours to ventilate my passion here al
fresco. At least they shall not complain of me for
want of punctuality. What shall I do with myself
till twelve? Suppose we take a turn about this
garden and settle our cues in the delicious drama
just going to be brought on the stage ; it is my first
appearance in so principal a character. I am not
yet sufficiently well read in the crotchets of your
quality dames. I know how to tickle a girl in a
stuff gown, or an actress : You swagger up to them
with an easy, impudent assurance, and pop the
question without making any bones of it. But one
must take a female of condition on a very different
tack. It seems to me, that in this case the happy
swain must be well bred, attentive, tender, respect-
ful, without degenerating into bashfulness. Instead
of taking his happiness by storm, he must plant his
amorous desires in ambuscade, and wait till the gar-
rison is asleep, and the outworks defenceless.

Thus it was that I argued, and such were the pre-
concerted plans of my campaign with Aurora. After
a few tedious minutes, according to my calculation,
I was to experience the ecstasy of finding myself at
the feet of that lovely creature, and pouring forth a
torrent of impassioned nonsense. I scraped together
in my memory all the clap-traps in our stock-plays,
which were most successful with the audience, and
might best set off my pretensions to spirit and gal-

HE nSITS AURORA. 515

lantry. I trusted to my own adroitness for the ap-
plication, and hoped, after the example of some
players in the list of my acquaintance, bringing only
a stock of memory into the trade, to deal upon credit
for my wit. While my imagination was engrossed
by these thoughts, which kept my impatience at bay
much more successfully than the commentaries of
my modern Ca;sar, I heard the clock strike eleven.
This was some encouragement, and I fell back to
my meditations, sometimes sauntering carelessly
about, and sometimes throwing myself at my length
on the turf, in a bower at the bottom of the garden.
At length it struck twelve, the long-expected hour,
big with my high destiny. Some seconds after,
Ortiz, as punctual as myself, though less impatient,
made her appearance. Signor Gil Bias, said she
accosting me, how long have you been here? Two
hours, answered I. Indeed ! Truly, replied she,
laughing, you are very exact ; there is a pleasure in
making nocturnal assignations with you. Yet you
may assure yourself, continued she more gravely,
that you cannot pay too dear for such good fortune
as that of which I am the messenger. My mistress
wants to have some private talk with you. I shall
not anticipate what may be the subject : that is a
secret which you must learn from no lips but her
own. Follow me •, I will show you into her
chamber. With these words the duenna took me by
the hand, and led me mysteriously into her lady's
apartment tlu*ough a little door^ of which she had
tihe key.

316 GIL BIAS.

CHAPTER 11.

AURORA'S RECEPTION OF OIL BLAS. THEIR CONVERSATION.

I FOUND Aurora in an undress. I saluted lier in
the most respectful manner, and threw as much ele-
gance into my attitude as I had to throw. She re-
ceived me with the most winning afFabiUty, made
me sit down by lier against all my remonstrances,
and told her ambassadors to go into another room.
After this opening, which seemed highly encourag-
ing to my cause, she entered upon the business.
Gn Bias, said she, you must have perceived how
favorably I have regarded and distinguished you
from all the rest of my father's servants ; and, though
my looks had not betrayed my partial dispositions
towards you, my proceeding of this night would
leave you no room to doubt them.

I did not give her time to say a word more. It
struck me that, as a man of feeling, I ought to spare
her trembling diffidence the cruel necessity of ex-
plaining her sentiments in more direct terms. I rose
from my chair in a transport, and, throwing myself
at Aurora's feet, like a tragedy hero of the Grecian
stage, when he supplicates the heroine "by her
knees," exclaimed in a declamatory tone, Ah I
madam, could it be possible that Gil Bias, hitherto
the whirligig of fortune, and football of embattled
nature, should have called down upon his head the
exquisite felicity of inspiring sentiments, . . . Dq

US BECOMES AURORA'S CONFIDANT. 31?

hot speak so loud, interrupted my mistress with a
laugh of mingled apprehension and ridicule, you
will wake my women who sleep in the adjoining
chamber. Get up, take your seat, and hear me out
without putting in a word. Yes, Gil Bias, pursued
she resuming her gravity, you have my best wishes ;
and to show you how deep you are in my good graces,
I will confide to you a secret on which depends the
repose of my life. I am in love with a young gen-
tleman, possessing every charm of person and face,
and noble by birth. His name is Don Lewis Pache-
co. I have seen him occasionally in the public walks
and at the theatre, but I have never conversed with
him. I do not even know what his private character
may be, or what bad qualities he may have. It is
on this subject that I wish to be informed. I stand
in need of a person to enquire diligently into his
morals, and give me a true and particular account.
I make choice of you. Surely I run no risk in en-
trusting you with this commission. I hope that you
will acquit yourself with dexterity and prudence, and
that I sliall never repent of giving you my confidence.
My mistress concluded tlius, and waited for my
answer to her proposal. I had been disconcerted in
the first instance at so disagreeable a mistake ; but I
soon recovered my scattei'cd senses, and surmounting
the confusion which rashness always occasions when
it is unlucky, I exposed to sale such a cargo of zeal
for the lady's interests, I devoted myself with so
martyr-like an enthusiasm to her service, that if she
did not absolutely forget my silly vanity in the

SI 8 GIL BLA§.

thought of having pleased her, at least she had rea-
son to believe that I knew how to make amends for
a piece of folly. I asked only two days to bring her
a satisfactory account of Don Lewis. After which
Dame Ortiz, answering the bell, showed me the way
back into the garden, and said, on taking leave.
Good night, Gil Bias. I need not caution you to
be in time at the next appointment. I have suf-
ficient experience of your punctuality on these
occasions.

I returned to my chamber, not without some little
mortification at finding my voluptuous anticipations
all divested of even their ideal sweetness. I was
nevertheless sufficiently in my senses to reflect sober-
ly that it was more in my element to be the trusty
scout of my mistress than her lover. I even thought
that this adventure might lead to something further ;
that the middle men in the trade of love usually
pocket a tolerable per centage ; and went to bed
with the resolution of doingr whatever Aurora re-
quired of me. For this purpose I went abroad the
next mornino;. The residence of so distinfjuished a
personage as Don Lewis was not difficult to find out.
I made my enquiries about him in the neighborhood,
but the people who came in my way could not satisfy
my curiosity to the full, so that it was necessary to
resume my search diligently on the following day.
I was in better luck. I met a lad of my acquaint-
ance by chance in the street ; we stopped for a little
gossip. There passed by in the very nick one of his
friends, who came up and told him that he was just

its HAS ANOTHER INTER VIEW. 319

turned away from the family of Don Joseph Pacheco,
Don Lewis's father, about a paltry remnant of wine,
which he had been accused of drinking. I would
not lose so fair an occasion of learning all I wanted
to know, and plied my questions so successfully as to
go home with much self-complacency at my punc-
tual performance of my engagements with my mis-
tress. It was on the coming; nijjht that I was to see
her again at the same hour, and in the same manner
as the first time. I was not in such a confounded
hurry this evening. Far from writhing with impa-
tience under the prolixity of my old commander, I
led him on to the charjje. I waited for midni<jht
with the greatest indifference in the world, and it
was not till all the clocks within ear-shot had struck
that I crept down into the garden, without any non-
sense of pomatum and perfumery. That foppery
was completely cured.

At the place of meeting I found the very faithful
duenna, who sneeringly reproached me with a defal-
cation in my zeal. I made her no answer, but suf-
fered myself to be conducted into Aurora's chamber.
She asked me, as soon as I made my appearance,
whether I had gained any intelligence of Don Lewis.
Yes, madam, said I, and you shall have the sum
total in two words. I must first tell you, that he
will soon set oiit for Salamanca, to finish his studies.
The young gentleman is brimful of honor and prob-
it}'. As for the valor, he cannot be deficient there,
since he is a man of birth and a Castilian. Besides
this, he has an infinite deal of wit, and is very agree-

320 ^iL BIAS.

able in his manners ; but there is one thing which
can scarcely be to your liking. He is pretty much
in the fashion of our young nobility here at court —
exemplarily catholic in his devotions to the fair.
Have you not heard that at his age he has already
been tenant-at-will to two actresses ? What is it you
tell me ? replied Aurora. What shocking conduct !
But do you know for certain, Gil Bias, that he leads
so dissolute a life? O! there is no doubt of it,
madam, rejoined I. A servant, turned off this
morning, told me so, and servants are very plain
dealers when the failings of their masters are the
topic. Besides, he keeps company with Don Alexo
Segiar, Don Antonio Centelles, and Don Fernando
de Gamboa ; that single circumstance proves his
libertinism with all the force of demonstration. It
is enough, Gil Bias, said my mistress with a sigh ;
on your report I am determined to struggle with my
unworthy passion. Though it has already struck
deep root in my heart, I do not despair of tearing it
forcibly from its bed. Go, added she, putting into
my hands a small purse, none of the lightest, take
this for your pains. Beware of betraying my secret.
Consider it as entrusted to your silence.

I assured my mistress that she might be perfectly
easy on that score, for I was the Harpocrates of con-
fidential servants. After this compliment to myself,
I withdrew with no small eagerness to investigate
the contents of the purse. There were twenty pis-
toles. It struck me all at once that Aurora would
surely have given me more had I been the bearer of

Don VINCENT FALLS sicit. 321

pleasant tidings, since she paid so handsomely for a
blank in the lottery. I was sorry not to have adopted
the policy of the pleaders in the courts, who some-
times paint the cheek of truth when her natural com-
plexion is inclined to be cadaverous. It was a pity
to have stifled an amour in the birth which might in
its growth have been so profitable. Yet I had the
comfort of finding myself reimbursed the expense so
unseasonably incurred in perfumery and washes.

•+«+-

CHAPTER III.

A GREAT CIIAXGE AT DOX VINCENT'S. AURORA'S STRANOS
RE SOL UTION.

It happened soon after this adventure that Signor
Don Vincent fell sick. Independent of his very ad-
vanced age, the symptoms of his disorder appeared
in so formidable a shape that a fatal termination was
but too probable. From the beginning of his illness
he was attended by two of the most eminent physi-
cians in Madrid. One was Doctor Andros, and the
other Doctor Oquetos. They considered the case
with due solemnity ; and both agreed, after a strict
investigation, that the humors were in a state of mu~
tiny, but this was the only thing about which they
did agree. The proper practice, said Andros, is to
purge the humors, though raw, with all possible ex-
pedition, while they are in a violent agitation of flux

VOL. I. 21

522 GIL BLA^.

and reflux, for fear of their fixing upon some noble
part. Oquetos maintained, on the contrary, that we
must wait till the humors were ripened before it would
be safe to go upon purgatives. But your method,
replied the first speaker, is directly in the teeth
of the rules laid down by the prince of medicine.
Hippocrates recommends purging in the most burn-
ing fever from the very first attack, and says in plain
terms that no time is to be lost in purging when the
humors are in op/atf/xos, that is to say, in a state of
fermentation. Ay ! there is your mistake, replied
Oquetos. Hippocrates by the word opyatf/j-oj does
not mean the fermentation, he means rather the con-
coction of the humors.

Thereupon our doctors got heated. One quotes
the Geeek text, and cites all the authors who have
explained it in his sense ; the other, trusting to a
Latin translation, takes up the controversy in a still
more positive tone. Which of the two to believe?
Don Vincent was not the man to decide that ques-
tion. In the meantime, finding himself obliged to
choose, he gave his confidence to the party who had
despatched the greatest number of patients — I mean
the elder of the two. Andros, the younger, imme-
diately withdrew, not without flinging out a few sa-
tirical taunts at his senior on the op^arf/xog. Here then
was Oquetos triumphant. As he was a professor of
the Sangrado school, he began by bleeding copious-
ly, waiting till the humors were ripened before he
went upon purgatives. But death, fearing, no
doubt, lest this reserve of purgatives should turn the

mAtii OF DON VINCENT. 3^3

fortunes of the day, got the start of the concoction,
and secured liis victory over my master by a coup-
de-main. Such was the final close of Signor Don
Vincent, who lost his life because his physician did
not know Greek.

Aurora, having buried her father with a pomp
suited to the dignity of his birth, administered to his
effects. Having the wliole arrangement of CAcry-
thing in her own breast, she discharged some of the
servants with rewards proportioned to their services,
and soon retired to her castle on the Tagus, between
Sacedon and Buendia. I was among the number
of those whom she kept, and Avho made part of her
country establishment. I had even the good fortune
to become a principal agent in tlie plot. In spite
of my faithful report on tlie subject of Don Lewis,
she still harbored a partiality for tliat bewitching
young fellow ; or rather, for want of spirit to com-
bat her passion in the first instance, she surrendered
at discretion. There was no longer any need of
taking precautions to speak with me in private. Gil
Bias, said she, with a sigh, I can never forget Don
Lewis. Let me make wliat effort I will to banish
him from my thoughts, he is present to them without
intermission, not as you have described him, plunged
in every variety of licentious riot, but just what my
fancy would paint him, — tender, loving, constant.
She betrayed considerable emotion in uttering these
words, and could not help sliedding tears. My foun-
tains were very near playing from mere sympathy.
There was no better way of paying my court than by

§24 GIL nlA^.

ajjpearing sensibly touched at her distress . My friend ,
continued she, after having wiped her loving eyes,
your nature is evidently cast in a benevolent mould ;
and I am so well satisfied with your zeal that it shall
not go unrewarded. Your assistance, my dear Gil
Bias, is more necessary to me than ever. You must
be made acquainted with a plan which engrosses all
my thoughts, though it will appear strangely eccen-
tric. You are to know that I mean to set out for
Salamanca as soon as j^ossiblc. There, my design
is to assume the disguise of a fashionable young fel-
low, and to make acquaintance m ith Pacheco under
the name of Don Felix. I shall endeavor to gain
his confidence and friendship, and lead the conver-
sation incidentally to the subject of Aurora de Guz-
man, for w^hose cousin I shall pass. He may per-
haps express a wish to see her, and there is the point
on which I expect the interest to turn. We wall
have two apartments in Salamanca. In one I shall
be Don Felix, in the other, Aurora ; and I flatter
myself that by presenting my person before Don
Lewis, sometimes under the semblance of a man,
sometimes in all the natural and artificial attractions
of my own sex, I may bring him by little and little
to the jiroposed end of my stratagem. I am per-
fectly aware that my project is extravagant in the
highest degree, but my passion drives me headlong ;
and the innocence of my intentions renders me in-
sensible to all compunctious feelings of virgin appre-
hension respecting so hazardous a step.

I was exactly in the same mind with Aurora re-^

GIL BLAS HUMORS AURORA. 325

epecting the extravagance of her scheme. Yet,
unreasonable as it might seem to reflecting persons
like myself, there was no occasion for me to play
the schoolmaster. On the contrary, I befjan to
practice all the arts of a thorough-bred special
pleader, and undertook to magnify this hair-brained
pursuit into a piece of incomparable wit and spirit,
without the least tincture of imprudence. This was
hiifhlv gratifvin"; to my mistress. Lovers like to.
have their rampant fancies tickled. AVe no longer
considered this rash enterprise in any other light
than as a play, of which the characters were to be
properly cast, and tlie business dramatically ar-
ranged. The actors were chosen out of our own
domestic establishment, and the parts distributed
witliout secret jealousy or open rupture, but then
we were not players by profession. It wa« deter-
mined that Dame Ortiz should personate Aurora's
aunt, under the name of Donna Kimena de Guz-
man, with a valet and waiting-maid by way of
attendance ; and that Aurora, with the swashing
outside of a gay spark, was to take me for her valet-
de-chambre, with one of her women disguised as a
page, to be more immediately about her person.
The drama thus filled up, we returned to jNIadrid,
where we understood Don Lewis still to be, though
it was not likely to be long till his departure for
Salamanca. We got up with all possible haste the
dresses and decorations t)f our \\ lid comedy. When
they were in complete order, my mistress had them
packed up carefully, that they might come out in all

326 G!7Z, BLAS.

their gloss and newness on the risirig of the curtain.
Then, leaving the care of her family to her steward,
she began her journey in a coach, drawn by four
mules, and travelled towards the kingdom of Leon
with those of her household who had some part to
play in the piece.

We had already crossed Old Castillc, w^hen the
axletree of the coach gave way. The accident
happened between Avila and Villaflor, at the dis-
tance of three or four hundred yards from a castle
near the foot of a mountain. Nifjht w^as cominjr
on, and tlie measure of our troubles seemed to be
heaped up and overflowing. But there passed acci-
dentally by us a countryman, by whose assistance we
were relieved from our difficulties. He acquainted
us that the castle yonder belonged to Donna El-
vira, widow of Don Pedro de Penares ; at the
same time jxivino; so fa^'orable a character of that
lady, that my mistress sent me to tlic castle with
a request of a night's lodging. Elvira did not dis-
grace the good word of the countryman. She
received me with an air of hospitaHty, and returned
such an answer to my compliment as I wished to
carry back. We all went to the castle, wliither tlie
mules dragged the carriage with considerable diffi-
culty. At the gate we met the widow of Don Pe-
dro, who came out to meet my mistress. I shall
pass over in silence the reciprocal ci^■ilities which
were exchanged on this occasion, in compliance with
the usage of the polite w^orld. I shall only say that
Plvira- was a lady rather advanced in years, but

ELVIRA'S HOSPITALITY. 327

remarkably well-bred, with an address superior to
that of most women in doing; the honors of her
house. She led Aurora into a sumptuous apart-
ment, where, leaving lier to rest herself for a short
time, she looked after every tiling herself, and left
nothing undone which could in the least contribute
to our comfort. Afterwards, when supper was
ready, she ordered it to be served up in Aurora's
chamber, where they sat down to table together.
Don Pedro's widow was not of a description to cast
a slur on her own hospitalities, by assuming an air
of abstraction or sullenncss. Her temper was gay,
and her conversation lively without levity ; for her
ideas were dignified, and licr ex[)rcssions select.
IS'^othing could exceed her wit, accompanied by a
peculiarly fine turn of thought. Aurora appeared
as much to be delighted as myself. They became
sworn friends, and mutually engaged in a regular
correspondence. As our carriage could not be re-
paired till the following day, and we should have
encountered some perils by setting out late at night,
it was determined that Ave should take up our abode
at the castle till the damage was made good. All
the arrangements were in the first style of elegance,
and our lodgings were correspondent to the magnifi-
cence of the establishment in other respects.

The day after, my mistress discovered new charms
in Elvira's conversation. They dined in a large hall,
where there were se^■eral 2)ictures. One among
the rest was distinjjuished for its admirable execu-
tion, but the subject was highly tragic. A princi-

328 G!/Z, BLAS.

pal figure was a man of superior mien, lying lifeless
on his back, and bathed in his o^\'n blood ; yet in
the very embraces of death he wore a menacing
aspect. At a little distance from him you might
see a young lady in different posture, though
stretched likewise on the ground. She had a sword
plunged in her bosom, and was giving up her last
sighs, at the same time casting her dying glances at
a young man who seemed to suffer a mortal pang at
losing her. The painter had besides charged his
picture with a figure which did not escape my no-
tice. It was an old man of a venerable physiog-
nomy, sensibly touched with the objects which struck
his sight, and equally alive with the young man to
the impressions of the melancholy scene. It might
be said that these images of blood and desolation
affected both the spectators with the same astonish-
ment and grief, but that the outward demonstrations
of their inward sentiments were different. The old
man, sunk in a profound melancholy, looked as if he
was bowed down to the gi'ound ; while the youth
mingled something like the extravagance of despair
with the tears of affliction. All these circumstances
were depicted with touches so characteristic and affect-
ing, that we could not take our eyes off the perform-
ance. My mistress desired to know the subject of the
piece. Madam, said Ehira, it is a faithful delineation
of the misfortunes sustained by my family. This
answer excited Aurora's curiosity, and she testified
so strong a desire to learn the particulars, that the
widow of Don Pedro could do no otherwise than prom'

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. 329

Ise her the satisfaction she desired. This promise,
made before Ortiz, her two fellow-servants, and my-
self, rooted us to tlie spot on wliich we w^ere listen-
ing to their former conversation. My mistress would
have sent us away ; but Elvira, who saw plainly
that we were d} ing with eagerness to be present at
the explanation of the picture, had the goodness to
desire us to stay, alleging at the same time that
the story she had to relate was not of a nature to
enjoin secrecy. After a moment's recollection, she
bejran her recital to the following effect.

CHAP TEE IV.

THE FATAL MARRIAGE : A iVOVEL.

Roger, king of Sicily, had a brother and a sister.
His brother, by name Mainfroi, rebelled against
him, and kindled a war in the kingdom, bloody in
its immediate effects, and portentous in its future
consequences. But it was his fate to lose two bat-
tles, and to fall into the kings's hands. The pun-
ishment of his revolt extended no farther than the
loss of liberty. This act of clemency served only to
make Roger pass for a barbarian in the estimation
of the disaffected party among liis subjects. They
contended that he had saved his brother's life only
to wreak his vengeance on him by tortures the more
inerciless because protracted. People in general,

330 . ^^^ BLAS.

on better grounds, transferred the blame of Maln-
froi's harsh treatment while in prison to his sister
Matilda. That princess had, in fact, cherished a
long-rooted hatred against this prince, and was inde-
fatigable in her persecutions during his whole life.
She died in a very short time after him, and her
premature fate was considered as the retribution of a
just providence, for her disregard of those senti-
ments implanted by nature for the best purposes.

Mainfroi left behind him two sons. They were
yet in their childhood. Koger had a kind of lurking
desire to get rid of them, under the apprehension
lest, when arrived at a more advanced age, the wish
of avenging their father might hurry them to the
revival of a faction which was not so entirely o^er-
thrown as to be incapable of originating new in-
trigues in the state. He communicated his purpose
to the senator Leontio Siifredi, his minister, who
diverted him from his bloody thoughts by undertak-
ing the education of Prince Enriquez, the eldest,
and recommending the care of the younger, by
name Don Pedro, to the constable of Sicily, as a
trusty counsellor and loyal servant. Roger, assured
that his nephews would be trained up by these two
men in principles of due submission to the royal
authority, gave up the reins of guardianship to then*
control, and himself took charge of his niece Con-
stance. She was of the same age with Enriquez,
and only daughter of the princess Matilda. He
allowed her an establishment of female attendants,
and of roasters in every branch of the politer studies.

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. 331

80 that nothing was wanting, either to her instruc-
tion or her state.

Leontio Siflfredi had a castle at tlie distance of less
than two leagues from Palermo, in a spot named
Belmonte. There it was that this minister exerted
all his talents and diligence, to render Enriquez
worthy of one day ascending the throne of Sicily.
From the first, he discovered dispositions so amiable
in that prince, that liis attachment became as strong
as if he had no child of his own. He had, however,
two daughters — Blanche, the first-born, one year
younger than the prince, was armed at all points
Avith the weapons of a most perfect beauty. Her
sister Portia was still in her cradle. The mother
had died in child-bed of this youngest. Blanche and
Prince Enriquez conceited a reciprocal affection as
soon as they were alive to the influence of love : but
they were not allowed to improve their acquaintance
into familiar intercourse. The [)rince, nevertheless,
found the means of occasionally eluding the pruden-
tial vigilance of his guardian. lie knew sufficiently
well how to avail himself of those precious moments,
and prevailed so far with SiftVedi's daughter, as to
gain her consent to the execution of a project whicli
he meditated. It happened precisely at this time
that Leontio was obliged by the king's order to take
a journey into one of the most remote provinces in
the island. During his absence, Enriquez got an
opening made in the wall of his a[)artmcnt, which
led into Blanche's chamber. This opening was con-
cealed by a sliding shutter, so exactly correspondmg

532 ^^^ ^^^'S'-

with the wainscot, and so closely fitting in with the
ceiling and the floor, that the most suspicious eye
could not have detected the contrivance. A skilful
workman, whom the prince had gained over to liis
interests, helped him to this private communication
wdth equal speed and secrecy.

The enamoured Enriquez having obtained this
inlet into his mistress's chamber, sometimes availed
himself of his privilege ; but he never took advantage
of her partiality. Imprudent as it may well be
thought, to admit of a secret entrance into her
apartment, it Avas only on the express and reiterated
assurance that none but the most innocent favors
should be requested at her hands. One night he
found her in a state of unusual perturbation. She
had been informed that Roger was drawino; near his
end, and had sent for Siffredi as lord high chancellor
of the kingdom, and the legal depositary of his last
will and testament. Already did she figure to her-
self her dear Enriquez elevated to royal honors. She
was afraid of losing; her lover in her sovereim, and
that fear had strangely affected her spirits. The
tears were standing in her eyes, when the uncon-
scious cause of them appeared before her. You
weep, madam, said he ; what am I to think of this
overwhelming grief? My lord, answered Blanche,
it were vain for me to hide my apprehensions. The
king, your uncle, is at the point of death, and you
will soon be called to supply his place. When I
measure the distance placed between us by your ap-
proaching greatness, I will own to you that my mind

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. 33^

misgives me. The monarch and the lover estimate
objects through a far different medium. Wliat
constituted the fondest wish of the individual, while
his aspiring thoughts were checked by the control of
a superior, fades into insignificance before the tu-
multuous cares or brilliant destinies of royalty. Be
it the misgiving of an anxious heart, or the whisper
of a well-founded opinion, I feel distracting emotions
succeed one another in my breast, which not all my
just confidence in your goodness can allay. The
source of my mistrust is not in the suspected steadi-
ness of your attachment, but in a diffidence of my
own happy fate. Lovely and beloved Blanche,
replied the prince, your fears but bind me the more
firmly in your f/3tters, and warrant my devotion to
your charms. Yet tliis excessive indulgence of a
fond jealousy borders on disloyalty to love, and, if I
may venture to say so, trenches on the esteem to
which my constancy has hitherto entitled me. Xo,
no, never entertain a doubt that my destiny can ever
be sundered from yours, but rather indulge the
pleasing anticipation, that you, and you alone, will
be the arbitress of my fate, and the source of all my
bliss. Away then with these vain alarms. Why
must they disturb an intercourse so cliarming? Ah !
my lord, rejoined tlie daugliter of Leontio, your sub-
jects, when they place the crown upon your head,
may ask of you a princess-queen, descended from a
long line of kings, whose glittering alliance shall
join new realms to your hereditary estates. Perhaps,
alas ! you will meet their ambitious aims, even at

the expense of your softest vows. Nay, why, re-
sumed Enriquez, with rising passion, why too ready
a self-tormentor, do you raise up so afflicting a
phantom of futurity ? Should heaven take the king,
my uncle, to itself, and place Sicily under my do-
minion, I swear to unite myself with you at Palermo,
in presence of my whole court. To this I call to
witness all which is held sacred and inviolable amons:
men.

The protestations of Enriquez removed the fears
of SifFredi's daughter. The rest of their discourse
turned on the king's illness. Enriquez displayed the
goodness of his natural disposition, for he pitied his
uncle's lot, though he had no reason to be greatly
affected by it ; but the force of blood extorted from
him sentiments of regret for a prince whose death
held out an immediate prospect of the crown.
Blanche did not yet know all the misfortunes which
hung over her. The constable of Sicily, who had
met her coming out of her father's apartment one
day when he was at the castle of Belmonte on some
business of importance, was struck with admiration.
The very next day, he made proposals to Siffredi,
who entertained his offer favorably ; but the illness
of Roger taking place unexpectedly about that time,
the marriage was put off for the present, and the
subject had not been hinted at in the most distant
manner to Blanche.

One morning, as Enriquez had just finished dress-
ing, he was surprised to see Leontio enter his apart-
ment, followed by Blanche, Sir, said this minister,

ELVthA'S l^ARRATtV^. 335

the news I have to announce will in some degree
afflict your excellent heart, but it is counteracted by
consoling circumstances which ought to moderate
your grief. The king, your uncle, has departed
tliis life, and by his death, left you the heir of his
sceptre. Sicily is at your feet. The nobility of
the kingdom wait your orders at Palermo. They
have commissioned me to receive them in person,
and I come, my liege, with my daughter, to pay you
the earliest and sincerest homage of your new sub-
jects. The prince, who was well aware that Roger
had been for two months sinking under a complaint
gradual in its progress, but fatal in its nature, was
not astonished at this news. And yet, struck with
liis sudden exaltation, he felt a thousand confused
emotions rising up by turns in his heart. He mused
for some time, then breaking silence, addressed these
words to Leontio : Wise Siffredi, I have always
considered you as my father. I shall make it my
glory to be governed by your counsels, and you shall
reign in Sicily with a sway paramount to my own.
With these words, advancing to the standish and
taking a blank sheet of paper, he wrote his name at
the bottom. What are you doing, sir, said Siffredi.
Proving my gratitude and my esteem, answered
Ehriquez. Then the prince presented the paper to
Blanche, and said : Accept, madam, this pledge of
my faith, and of the empire with which I invest you
over my thoughts and actions. Blanche received it
with a blush, and made this answer to the prince : I
acknowledge, with all humility, the condescensions

of my sovereign, but my destiny is in the hands of a
father, and you must not consider me as ungrateful
if I deposit this flattering token in his custody, to be
used accordinor to tlie dictates of liis saj^e discretion.

In compliance with these sentiments of filial duty,
she gave the sign manual of Enriquez to her father.
Then Siffredi saw at once what, till that moment,
had eluded his penetration. He entered clearly into
the prince's sentiments, and said : Your majesty shall
have no reproaches to make me. I shall not act
unworthily of the confidence . . . My dear Leontio,
interrupted Enriquez, you and un worthiness never
can be allied. Make what use you please of my
signature. I shall confirm your determination.
But go, return to Palermo, prescribe the ceremonies
for my coronation there, and tell my subjects that I
shall follow you in person immediately, to receive
their oaths of allegiance, and assure them of my
protection in return. The minister obeyed the com-
mands of his new master, and set out for Palermo
with his daughter.

Some hours after their departure, the prince also
left Belmonte, with his thoughts more intent on his
passion, than on the high rank to which lie was
called. Immediately on his arrival in the city, the
air was rent with a thousand cries of joy. He made
his entry into the palace amid the acclamations of
the people, and everything was ready for the august
formalities. The Princess Constance was waiting to
receive him, in a magnificent mourninof dress. She
appeared deeply aflPected by Roger's death. The

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. g^f

Customs of society required from them a reciprocal
compliment of condolence on the late event, and
they each of them acquitted themselves with good
breeding and propriety. But there was somewhat
more coldness on the part of Enriquez than on that
of Constance, who could not enter into family quar-
rels, and resolved on hating the young prince. He
placed himself on the throne, and the princess sat
beside him in a chair of state a little less elevated.
The great officers of the realm fell into their places,
each according to his rank. The ceremony began ;
and Leontio, as lord high chancellor of the kingdom,
holding in his possession the will of the late king,
opened it, and read the contents aloud. This instru-
ment contained in substance that Roger, in default
of issue, nominated the eldest son of Mainfroi his
successor, on condition of his marrying the Princess
Constance ; and in the event of his refusing her
hand, the crown of Sicily was to devolve, to his ex-
clusion, on the head of the infant Don Pedro, his
brother, on the like condition.

These words were a thunderstroke to Enriquez.
His senses were all bewildered even to distraction,
and his agonies became still more acute, when
Leontio, having finished the reading of the will, ad-
dressed the assembly at large to the following effect :
IMy lords, the last injunction of the late king having
been made known to our new monarch, that pious
and excellent prince consents to honor his cousin,
the Princess Constance, with his hand. At these
words Enriquez interrupted the chancellor. Leontio,
VOL. I 22

338 GIL niAS.

said he, remember the Avriting; Blanclie . . . Sire,
interrupted SifFredi in his turn with precipitation,
lest tlie prince should find an opportunity of making
himself understood, here it is. The nobility of the
kingdom, added he, exhibiting the blank paper to the
assembly, will see by your majesty's august sub-
scription, the esteem in which you hold the princess,
and your implicit deference to the last will of the
late king your uncle.

Having finished these words, he forthwith began
reading the instrument in such terms he had himself
inserted. According to the contents, the new king
gave a promise to his people, with formalities the
most binding and authentic, that he would marry
Constance, in conformity with the intention of Roger.
The hall reechoed with pealing shouts of satisfaction.
Long live our high and mighty King Enriquez !
exclaimed all those who were present. As the
marked aversion of the prince for the princess had
never been any secret, it was apprehended, not
without reason, that he might revolt against the con-
dition of the will, and light up the flame of civil dis-
cord in the kingdom ; but the public enunciation of
this solemn act, quieting the fears of the nobility and
the people on that head, excited these universal
applauses, which went to the monarch's heart like
the stab of an assassin. Constance, who had a
nearer interest than any human being in the result,
from the double motive of glory and personal affec-
tion, laid hold of this opportunity for expressing her
gratitude. The prince had much ado to keep hia

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. 339

feelings within bounds. He received the compli-
ment of the princess with so constrained an air, and
evinced so unusual a disorder in his behavior, ws
scarcely to reply in a manner suited to the common
forms of good-breeding. At last, no longer master
of his violent passions, he went up to SifFredi, whom
the formalities of his office detained near the royal
person, and said to him in a low tone of voice.
What is the meaning of all this, Leontio? The sig-
nature which I deposited in your daughter's hands
was not meant for such' a use as this. You are
guilty of . . .

My liege, interrupted SifFredi again with a tone
of firmness, look to your own glory. If you refuse
to comply with the injunctions of the king your uncle,
you lose the crown of Sicily. No sooner had he
thrown in this salutary hint, than he got away from
the king, to prevent all possibility of a reply. Kn-
riquez was left in a most embarrassing situation. A
thousand opposite emotions agitated him at once.
He was exasperated against SifFredi. To give up
Blanche, was more than he could endure : so that,
balancing his private feelings and the calls of public
honor, he was doubtful to which side he should in-
cline. At length his doubts were resolved, under
the idea of having found the means to secure SifFre-
di's daughter, without giving up his claim to the
throne. He afFected, therefore, an entire submission
to the will of Roger, in the hope, while a dispensa-
tion from his marriage with his cousin was soliciting
at Home, of gaining the leading nobility by his

U6 6^^ ^^^^'•

largesses, and thus establishing his power so firmly,
as not to be under the necessity of fulfilling the con-
ditions of the obnoxious instrument.

After forming this design, he got to be more com-
posed ; and turning towards Constance, confirmed to
her what the lord high chancellor had read in pres-
ence of the whole assembly. But at the very mo-
ment when he had so far betrayed himself as to pledge
his faitli, Blanche arrived in the hall of council.
She came thither, by her father's command, to pay
her duty to the princess ; and her ears, on entering,
were startled at the expressions of Enriquez. In
addition to this shock, Leontio determined, not to
leave her in doubt of her misfortune, accompanied
her presentation to Constance with these words :
Daughter, make your homage acceptable to your
queen ; call down upon her the blessings of a pros-
perous reign and a happy marriage. This terrible
blow overwhelmed the unfortunate Blanche. Vain
were all her attempts to suppress her anguish ; her
countenance changed successively from the deepest
blush to a deadly paleness, and she trembled from
head to foot. And yet the princess had no suspicion
how the matter really stood ; but attributed the con-
fused style of her compliment to the awkwardness
of a'young person brought up in a state of rustica-
tion, and totally unacquainted with the manners of a
court. But the young king was more in the secret.
The sight of Blanche put him out of countenance ;
and the despair, too legible in her eyes, was enough
to drive him out of his senses. Her feelino^s were

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. 341

not to be misunderstood ; and they pointed at him as
the most faithless of men. Could lie have spoken to
her, it might have tranquilized his agitation : but
how to lay hold of the happy moment, when all
Sicily, at least the illustrious part of it, was fixed
in anxious expectation on his proceedings? Besides,
the stern and inflexible SifFredi exting-uished at once
every ray of hope. Tliis minister, \\'ho was at no
loss to decipher the hearts of tlie two lovers, and
was firmly resolved, if possible, to prevent the evil
consequences impending over the ^tafe from the vio-
lence of this imprudent attachment, got his daughter
out of the assembly with the dexterity of a practised
courtier, and regained the road to Belmonte with her
in his possession, determined, for more reasons than
one, to marry her as soon as possible.

When they reached home, he gave her to under-
stand all the horror of her destiny, by announcing
his promise to the constable. Just Heaven ! ex-
claimed she, transported into a paroxysm of despair,
wliich her father's presence could not restrain ; what
unparalleled suffering have you the cruelty to lay up
in store for the ill-fated Blanche ? Her agony went
to such a degree of violence, as to suspend every
power of her soul. Her limbs seemed as if stiffened
under the icy grasp of death. Cold and pale, she
fell senseless into her father's arms. Neither was
he insensible to her melancholy condition. Yet,
feeling as he did all the alarm and anxiety of a
parent, the stern inflexibility of the statesman re-
piained unshaken, Blanche, afler a time, was re-*

342 G7L BIAS.

called to life and feeling, rather by the keenness of
her mental pangs than by the means which SiiFredi
used for her recovery. Languishingly did she raise
her scarcely conscious eyes : when, glancing on the
author of her misery, as he was anxiously employed
about her person : My lord, said she, with inar-
ticulate and convulsive accents, I am ashamed to
let you see my weakness : but death, which cannot
be long in finishing my torments, will soon rid you
of a wretched daughter, who has ventured to dispose
of her heart without consulting you. No, my dear
Blanche, answered Leontio, your death would be too
dear a sacrifice : Virtue will resume her empire over
your actions. The constable's proposals do you hon-
or ; it is one of the most considerable alliances in the

state I esteem his person and am sensible

of his merit, interrupted Blanche ; but, my lord,
the king had given me encouragement to indulge.
. . . Daughter, vociferated Siffredi, breaking in
upon her discourse, I anticipate all you have to say
on that subject. Your partiality for the prince is no
secret to me, nor would it meet my disapprobation
under other circumstances. You should even see
me actiA'e and ardent to secure for you the hand of
Enriquez, if the cause of glory and the welfiire of
the realm demanded it not indispensably for Con-
stance. It is on the sole condition of marrying that
princess, that the late kin^ has nominated him his
successor. Would you have him prefer you to the
crown of Sicily? Believe me, my heart bleeds at
the mortal blow AvTiich impends over you. Yet,

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. 343

since we cannot contend with the fiites, make a
magnanimous effort. Your fame is concerned, not
to let the whole nation see that you have nursed up
a delusive hope. Your sensibility towards the per-
son of the kino; mifjht even o^ive birth to ignominious
rumors. The only method of preserving yourself
from their poison, is, to marry the constable. In
short, Blanche, there is no time left for irresolution.
The king has decided between a throne, and the
possession of your charms. He has fixed his choice
on Constance. The constable holds my word in
pledge : enable me to redeem it, I beseech you.
Or, if notliing but a paramount necessity can fix
your wavering resolution, I must make an unwilling
use of my parental authority : know then, I com-
mand you.

Ending with this threat, he left her to make her
own reflections on what had passed. He was in
hopes that after having weighed the reasons he had
urged to support her virtue against the bias of her
feelings, she would determine of herself to admit the
constable's addresses. He was not mistaken in his
conjecture : but at what an expense did the wretched
Blanche rise to this height of virtuous resolution I
Her conchtion was that in the whole world the most
deserving of pity. The affliction of finding her fears
realized, respecting the infidelity of Enriquez, and
of being compelled, besides losing the man of her
choice, to sacrifice herself to another whom she could
never love, occasioned her such storms of passion
a.nd alternate tossings of frantic desperation, as to

344 G!7L BLAS.

bring with each successive moment a variety of vin-
dictive torture. If my sad fate is fixed, exclaimed
she, how can I triumph over it but by death? Mer-
ciless powers, who preside over our wayward for-
tunes, why feed and tantalize me with the most flat-
tering hopes, only to plunge me headlong into a
gulf of miseries ? And thou too, perfidious lover !
to rush into the arms of another, when all those vows
of eternal fidelity were mine. So soon then is that
plighted faith void and forgotten? To punish thee
for so ciniel a deception, may it please heaven, in its
retribution, to make the conscious couch of conjugal
endearment, polluted as it must be by perjury, less
the scene of pleasure than the dungeon of remorse !
May the fond caresses of Constance distil poison
through thy faithless heart? Let us rival one
another in the horrors of our nuptials ! Yes, trai-
tor, I mean to wed the constable, though shrinking
from his ardent touch, to avenge me on myself! to
be my own scourge and tormentor, for having se-
lected so fatally the object of my frantic passion.
Since deep-rooted obedience to the will of God for-
bids to entertain the thought of a premature death,
whatever days may be allotted me to drag on shall
be but a lengthened chain of heaviness and torment.
If a sentiment of love lurks about your heart, it will
be revenge enough for me to cast myself into your
presence, the devoted bride or victim of another :
but if you have thrown off my remembrance with
your own vows, Sicily at least shall glory in the dis-
tinction of reckoning among its natives a woman

ELVIRA'S NARRATtVt, -^45

who knew how to punish herself for having disposed
of her heart too lightly.

In such a state of mind did this wi-etched martyr
to love and duty pass the night preceding her mar-
riage with the constable. Siffrcdi, finding her the
next morning ready to comply with his wishes, has-
tened to avail himself of this favorable disposition.
He sent for the constable to Belmonte on that very
day, and the marriage ceremony was performed pri-
vately in the chapel of the castle. What a crisis for
Blanche ! It Avas not enough to renounce a crown,
to lose a lover endeared to her by every tie, and to
yield herself up to the object of her hatred. In ad-
dition to all this, she must put a constraint on her
sentiments before a husband, naturally jealous, and
long occupied with the most ardent admiration of
her charms. The bridegroom, delighted in the pos-
session of her, was all day long in her presence.
He did not leave her to the miserable consolation of
pouring out her sorrows in secret. When night
arrived, Leontio's daughter felt all her disgust and
terror redoubled. But what seemed likely to be-
come of her when her women, after having undressed
her, left her alone with the constable? He enquired
respectfully into the cause of her apparent faintness
and discomposure. The question was sufficiently
embarrassing to Blanche, who affected to be ill.
Her husband was at first deceived by her pretences ;
but he did not long remain in such an error. Being,
as he was, sincerely concerned at the condition in
which lie saw her, but still pressing her to go to bed,

346 GIL BLAS.

his urgent solicitations, falsely construed by her,
offered to her wounded mind an image so cruel and
indelicate, that she could no longer dissemble what
was passing within, but gave a free course to her
sighs and tears. What a discovery for a man who
thought himself at the summit of his wishes ! lie
no longer doubted but the distressed state of his
wife was fraught with some sinister omen to his
love. And yet, though this knowledge reduced him
to a situation almost as dei)lorable as that of Blanche,
he had sufficient command over himself to keep his
suspicions within his own breast. He redoubled his
assiduities, and went on pressing his bride to lay her-
self down, assuring her that the repose of which she
stood in need should be undisturbed by his interrup-
tion. He offered of his own accord even to call her
women, if she was of opinion that their attendance
could afford any relief to her indisposition. Blanche,
reviving at that proposal, told him that sleep was the
best remedy for the debility under which she labored.
He affected to think so too. They accordingly par-
took of the same bed, but with a conduct altogether
different from what the laws of love, sanctioned by
the rites of marriage, might authorize in a pair mu-
tually delighted and delighting.

While Siffredi's daughter was giving way to her
grief, the constable was hunting in his own mind for
the causes which might render the nuptial office so
contemptible a sinecure in his hands. He could not
be long in conjecturing that he had a rival, but when
Jie attemjpted to discover him he was lost in the

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. 347

labyrinth of his own ideas. All he knew with
certainty was the peculiar severity of his own fate.
He had already passed two thirds of the night in this
perplexity of thought, when an undistinguishable
noise grew gradually on his sense of hearing. Great
was his surprise when a footstep seemed audibly to
pace about the room. He fancied himself mistaken,
for he recollected shutting the door himself after
Blanche's women had retired. He drew back the
curtain to satisfy liis senses on the occasion of this
extraordinary noise. But the light in the chimney
comer had gone out, and he soon heard a feeble and
melancholy voice calling Blanche with anxious and
importunate repetitions. Then did the suggestions
of his jealousy transport him into rage. His insulted
honor oblio^inj? him to rush from the bed to which he
had so long aspired, and either to prevent a medi-
tated injury, or take vengeance for its perpetration,
he caught up his sword and flew forward in the
direction whence the voice seemed to proceed. He
felt a naked bhide opposed to liis own. As he ad-
vanced, his antagonist retired. The pursuit became
more eager, the retreat more precipitate. His
search was vigilant, and every corner of the room
seemed to contain its object but that which he mo-
mentarily occupied. The darkness, however, fa-
vored the unknown invader, and he was nowhere to
be found. The pursuer halted. He listened, but
heard no sound. It seemed like enchantment ! He
made for the door, under the idea that tliis was the
pijtl^t t^o the secret assassin of his honor, yet the bolt

348 OIL BLAS.

was shut as fast as before. Unable to comprehend
this strange occui'rence, he called those of his retinue
who were most within reach of his voice. As he
opened the door for this purpose, he placed himself
so as to prevent all egress, and stood upon his
guard, lest the devoted victim of his search should
escape.

At his redoubled cries, some servants ran with
lights. He laid hold of a taper, and renewed his
search in the chamber with his sword still drawn.
Yet he found no one there, nor any apparent sign
of any person having been in the room. He was
not aware of any private door, nor could he discover
any practicable mode of escape; yet, for all this, he
could not shut his eyes against the nature and cir-
cumstance of his misfortune. His thoughts were all
thrown into inextricable confusion. To ask any
questions of Blanche was in vain, for she had too
deep an interest in perplexing the truth, to furnish
any clew whatever to its discovery. He, therefore,
adopted the measure of unbosoming his griefs to
Leontio ; but previously sent away his attendants
with the excuse that he thought he had heard some
noise in the room, but was mistaken. His father-
in-law, having left his chamber in consequence of this
strange disturbance, met him, and heard from his
lips the particulars of this unaccountable adventure.
The narrative was accompanied with every indication
of extreme agony, produced by deep and tender feel-
ing, as well as by a sense of insulted honor.

Siffredi was surprised at the occurrence. Though

ELVIRA'S i^AiiiftAfrvs. 349

it did not appear to him at all probable, that was no
reason for being easy about its reality. The king's
passion might accomplish anything ; and that idea
alone justified tlie most cruel apprehensions. But
it could do no good to foster either the natural
jealousy of his son-in-law, or his particular suspicions
arising out of circumstances. He, therefore, en-
deavored to persuade him, with an air of confidence,
that this imaginary voice, and airy sword opposed to
his substantial one, were, and could possibly be, but
the gratuitous creations of a fancy, under the influ-
ence of amorous distrust. It was morally impossible
that any person should have made his way into his
daughter's chamber. With regard to the melan-
choly so visible in his wife's deportment, it might
very naturally be attributed to precarious health and
delicacy of constitution. The honor of a husband
need not be so tremblingly alive to all the qualms of
maiden fear and inexperience. Change of condi-
tion, in the case of a girl habituated to live almost
without human society, and abruptly consigned to
the embraces of a man in whom love and previous
acquaintance had not inspired confidence, might in-
nocently be the cause of these tears, of these sighs,
and of this lively affliction so irksome to his feelings.
But it was to be considered that tenderness, espe-
cially in the hearts of young ladies, fortified by the
pride of blood against tlie excesses of love-sick
abandonment, was only to be cherished into a flame
by time and assiduity. lie, therefore, exhorted him
to tranquillize his disturbed mind ; to be ardently

350 . ^^^ -S-^-^^*-

officious in redoubling every instance of affection ; i6
create a soft and seducing interest in the sensibility
of Blanche. In short, he besought him earnestly to
return to her apartment, and labored to persuade him
that his distrust and confusion would only set her
on an unconjugal and litigious defence of her in-
sulted virtue.

The constable returned no answer to the arom-
ments of his father-in-law, whether because he began
to think in good earnest that his senses were imposed
on by the disorder of his mind, or because he thought
it more to the purpose to dissemble than to under-
take ineffectually to convince the old man of an
event so devoid of all likelihood. He returned to
his wife's chamber, laid himself down by her side,
and endeavored to obtain from sleep some relief from
his extreme uneasiness. Blanche, on her part, the
unhappy Blanche, was not a whit more at her ease.
Her ears had been but too open to the same alarm-
ing sounds which had assailed her husband's peace ;
nor could she construe into illusion an adventure of
which she well knew the secret and the motives.
She was surprised that Enriquez should attempt to
find his way into her apartment, after having pledged
his faith so solemnly to the Princess Constance.
Instead of feeding her soul with vanity, or deriving
any flattering omens from a proceeding fraught with
personal tenderness, but destructive to self-approba-
tion, she considered it as a new insult, and her heart
was only so much the more exasperated with resent-
ment against the author.

Elvira's narrative. 35 1

While SifFredi's daughter, with all her j^rejudices
excited against the young king, believed him the
most guilty of men, that unhappy prince, more than
ever ensnared by Blanche, was anxious for an inter-
view, to satisfy her mind on a subject which seemed
to make so much against him. For that purpose he
would have visited Belmonte sooner, but for a press
of business too urgent to be neglected ; nor could he
withdraw himself from the court before that nijrht.
He was perfectly at home in all the turnings of a
place where he had been brought up, and, therefore,
was at no loss to slip into the castle of Siffredi.
Nay, he was still in possession of the key to a secret
door communicating with the gardens. By this inlet
did he gain his former apartment, and there found
his way into Blanche's chamber. Only conceive
what must have been the astonishment of that princo
to find a man in possession, and to feel a sword op^
posed to his guard ! He was just on the point of
betraying all, and of punishing the rebel on the \er^
spot, whose sacrilegious hand had dared to lift itself
against the person of its lawful sovereign. But then
the delicacy due to the daughter of Leontio held his
indignation in check. He retreated in the same di-
rection as he had advanced, and regained the Paler-
mo road, in more distress and perplexity than ever.
Getting home some little time before daybreak, his
apartment afforded him the most quiet retreat. But
his thoughts were all on the road back to Belmonte,
the resting-place of his affections. A sense of honor ;
in a word, love with all its pretensions and surmises,

§5^ G/i Slai^.

would never allow him to delay an explanation, iri-
volving: all the circumstances of so strange and
melancholy an adventure.

As soon as it was daylight he gave out that he was
going on a hunting expedition. Under cover of
sporting, his huntsmen and a chosen party of his
courtiers penetrated into the forest of Belmonte under
his direction. The chase was followed for some
time, as a blind to his real design. When he saw
the whole party eagerly driving on, and wholly
engrossed by the sport, he galloped off in a different
direction, and struck, without any attendants, into
the road towards Leontio's castle. The various
tracks of the forest were too well known to him to
admit of his losing his way. His impatience, too,
would not allow him to take any thought of his
horse, so that the moments scarcely flitted faster
than his expedition in leaving behind him the dis-
tance which separated him from the object of his love.
His very soul was on the rack for some plausible ex-
cuse to plead for a private interview with Siifredi's
daughter, when, crossing a narrow path just at the
park gate, he observed two women sitting close by
him, in earnest conversation, under the shelter of a
tree. It might well be supposed that these females
belonged to the castle ; and even that probability was
sufficient to rouse an interest in him. But his emo-
tion was heightened into a feeling beyond his reason
to control, for these ladies happened to look round on
hearing the trot of a horse advancino; in that direc-
tion, when at once he recognized his dear Blanche.

Elvira's NARkATivE. 353

The fact was, she had made her escape from the
castle with Nisa, the person of all others among her
women most in her confidence, that she might at
least harve the satisfaction of weeping over her mis-
fortunes without intrusion or restraint.

He flew, and seemed rather to throw himself
headlong than to fall at her feet. But when he
beheld in the expression of her countenance every
mark of the deepest aflliction, his heart was softened.
Lovely Blanche, said he, do not, let me entreat you,
give way to the emotions of your grief. Appear-
ances, I own, must represent me as guOty in your
eyes, but when you sh.all be made acquainted with
my project in your behalf, what you consider as a
crime, will be transformed in your thoughts into a
proof of my innocence, and an evidence of my un-
paralleled aflTection. These words, calculated, ac-
cording to the views of Enriquez, to allay tlie grief
of Blanche, served only to redouble her affliction.
Fain would she have answered, but her sobs stifled
her utterance. The prince, thunderstruck at the
death-like agitation of her frame, addressed her thus :
What, madam, is there no possibility of tranquilliz-
ing your agitation ? By what sad mischance have I
lost your confidence, at the very moment when my
crown and even my life are at stake, in consequence
of my resolution to hold myself engaged to you ? At
this sujjjjestion the daughter of Leontio, doino^ vio-
lence to her own feelings, but thinking it necessary
to explain herself, said to him : My liege, your
assurances are no longer admissible. My destiny

VOL. I. 23

354 G/i iLAS.

and yours are henceforward as far asunder as the
poles. Ah ! Blanche, interrupted Enriquez with
impatience, what cutting words are these, too pain-
ful for my sense of hearing? Who dares step in
between our loves ? Who would venture to stand
forward against the headlong rage of a kingf who
would kindle all Sicily into a conflagration, rather
than suffer you to be ravished from his long-cherished
hopes? All your power, my liege, great a» it is,
replied the daughter of Siffredi in a tone of melan-
choly, becomes inefficient against the obstacles in the
way of our union. I know not how to tell it you,
but ... I am married to the constable.

Married to the constable ! exclaimed the prince,
starting back to some distance from her. He could
proceed no further in his discourse, so completely
was he thunderstruck at the intelligence. Over-
whelmed by this unexpected blow, he felt his
strength forsake him. His unconscious limbs laid
themselves without his guidance against the trunk
of a tree just behind him. His countenance was
pallid, his whole frame in a tremor, his mind bewil-
dered, and his spirits depressed. With no sense or
faculty at liberty but that of gazing, and there every
power of his soul was suspended on Blanche, he
made her feel most poignantly how he himself was
agonized by the fatal event she had announced.
The expression of countenance on her part was such
as to show him that her emotions were not uncon-
genial with his own. Thus did these two distressed
lovers for a time preserve a silence towards each

iHVinA'S NARRAfife. 3^5

()tlier, which portended something of terror in ith
calmness. At length the prince, recovering a little
from his disorder by an effort of courage, resumed
the discourse, and said to Blanche with a sigh,
Madam, what have you done? You have destroyed
me, and involved yourself in the same rum by your
credulity.

Blanche was offended at the seeming reproaches
of the kinof, when the stronijest jjrounds of com-
plaint were apparently on her side. What ! my
lord, answered she, do you add dissimulation to
infidelity? Would you have me reject the evidence
of my own eyes and ears, so as to believe you inno-
cent in spite of their report? No, my lord, I will
own to you such an effort of abstraction is not in my
power. And yet, madam, replied the king, these
witnesses by whose testimony you have been so fully
convinced, are but impostors. They have been in a
conspiracy to betray you. It is no less the fact that
I am innocent and faithful, than it is true that you are
married to the constable. What is it you say, my
lord? replied she. Did I not overhear you confirm-
ing the pledge of your hand and heart to Constance ?
Have you not bound yourself to the nobility of the
realm, and undertaken to comply with the will of the
late king? Has not the princess received the hom-
age of your new subjects as their queen, and in
quality of bride to Prince Enriquez ? ^Vere my eyes
then fascinated? Tell me, tell me rather, traitor,
that Blanche was weighed as dust in the balance of
your heart, when compared with the attractions of a

§56 CtiL liLAS.

throne. Without lowering yourself so far as to
assume what you no longer feel, and what perhaps
you never felt, own at once that the crown of Sicily
appeared a more tenable possession with Constance
than with the daughter of Leontio. You are in the
right, my lord. My title to an illustrious throne,
and to the heart of a prince like you, stands on an
equally precarious footing. It was vanity in the
extreme to prefer a claim to either ; but you ought
not to have drawn me on into eiTor. You will recol-
lect what alarms were my portion at the very thought
of losing you, of which I had almost a supernatural
foreboding. Why did you lull my apprehensions to
sleep ! To what purpose was that delusive mock-
ery? I might else have accused Fate rather than
yourself, and you would at least have retained an
interest in my heart, though unaccompanied by a
hand which no other suitor could ever have obtained.
As we are now circumstanced, your justification is
out of season. I am married to the constable. To
relieve me from the continuance of an interview
which casts a shade over my purity hitherto unsul-
lied, permit me, my lord, without failing in due
respect, to withdraw from the presence of a prince
to whose addresses I am even no longer at liberty
to listen.

With these words, she darted away from Enriquez
in as hurried a step as the agitation of her spirits
would allow. Stop, madam, exclaimed he ; drive
not to despair a prince inclined to overturn a
throne which you reproach liim for having preferred

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. S51

to yourself, rather than yield to the importunities of
his new subjects. That sacrifice is under present
circumstances superfuous, rejoined Blanche. The
bond must be broken between the constable and me,
before any eftect can be produced by these generous
transports. Since I am not my own mistress, little
would it avail that Sicily should be embroiled, nor
does it concern me to whom you give your hand.
If I had betrayed my own weakness, and suffered
my heart to be surprised, at least shall I muster for-
titude enough to suppress every soft emotion, and
prove to the new king of Sicily, that the wife of the
constable is no longer the mistress of Prince En-
riquez. While this conversation was passing, they
reached the park gate. AA'ith a sudden spring she
and Xisa got within the walls. As they took care
to fasten the wicket after them, the prince was left
in a state of melancholy and stupefaction. He could
not recover from the stunning sensation occasioned
by the intelligence of Blanche's marriage. Unjust
may I well call you ! exclaimed he. You have
buried all remembrance of our solemn engagement !
Spite of my protestations and your own, our fates
are rent asunder ! The long-cherished hope of pos-
sessing those charms was an empty phantom ! Ah !
cruel as you are, how dearly ha^'e I purchased the
distinction of compelling you to acknowledge the
constancy of my love !

At that moment his rival's happiness, heightened
by the coloring of jealousy, presented itself to his
mind in aH the horrors of that frantic passion. So

358 G7L BIAS.

arbitrary was its sway over him for some moments,
that he was on tlie point of sacrificing the constable,
and even Siftredi, to his bhnd vengeance. Reason,
however, cahnedby Httle and little the violence of his
transports. And yet the obvious impossibility of effa-
cing from the mind of Blanche her natural conviction
of his infidelity, reduced him to despair. He flattered
himself with weaning her from her prejudices, could he
but converse with her secure from interruption. To
attain this end, it seemed the most feasible plan to
get rid of the constable. He, therefore, determined
to have him arrested, as a person suspected of trea-
sonable dcsig-ns in the then unsettled state of public
affairs. The commission was given to the captain
of his guard, who went immediately to Belmonte,
secured the person of his prisoner just as the evening
was closing in, and carried him to the castle of
Palermo.

This occurrence spread an alarm at Belmonte.
Siffredi took his departure forthwith, to offer his
own responsibility to the king for the innocence of
his son-in-law, and to represent in their true colors
the unpleasant consequences attending such arbitrary
exertions of power. The prince, who had antici-
pated such a proceeding on the part of his minister,
and was determined at least to secure himself a free
interview with Blanche before the release of the
constable, had expressly forbidden any one to ad-
dress him till the next day. But Leontio, setting this
prohibition at defiance, contrived so well as to make his
way into the king's chamber. My liege, said he, with

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. 359

an air of huniility tempered with firmness, if it is
allowable for a subject full of respect and loyalty to
complain of his master, I have to arraign you before
the tribunal of your own conscience. What crime
has my son-in-law committed? Has your majesty
sufficiently reflected what an everlasting reproach is
entailed on my family ? Are the consequences of
an imprisonment calculated to disgust all the most
important officers of the state with the service, a
matter of indifference? I have undoubted informa-
tion, answered the king, that the constable holds a
criminal correspondence with the Infant Don Pedro.
A criminal correspondence ! interrupted Leontio,
with surprise. Ah ! my liege, give no ear to the
surmise. Your majesty is played upon. Treason
never gained a footing in the family of Siffi'edi. It
is sufficient security for the constable that he is my
son-in-law, to place hiin above all suspicion. The
constable is innocent ; but private motives have
been the occasion of your arresting him.

Since you speak to me so openly, replied the
king, I will adopt the same sincerity with you.
You complain of the constable's imprisonment ! Be
it so. And ha\e I no reason to complain of your
cruelty? It is you, barbarous Siffredi, wlio haAC
wrested my tranquillity from me, and reduced your
sovereign, by your officious cares, to envy the low-
liest of the human race. For do not so far deceive
yourself as to believe that I shall ever enter into
your views. My marriage with Constance is quite
out of the question "VMiat, my liege, inter-

360 GIL BIAS.

rupted Leontio, with an expression of horror, in
there any doubt about your marrying the princess,
after having flattered her with that hope in the face
of your whole people ? If their wishes are disap-
pointed, replied the king, take the credit to your-
self. Wherefore did you reduce me to the necessity
of giving them a promise my heart would not allow
me to make good ? Where was the occasion to fill
up with the name of Constance an instrument de-
signed for the elevation of your own daughter?
You could not be a stranger to my design ; need you
have completed your tyranny by devoting Blanche
to the arms of a man to whom she could not give
her heart ? And what authority have you over mine
to dispose of it in favor of a princess whom I detest ?
Have you forgotten that she is the daughter of that
cruel Matilda, who, trampling the rights of consan-
guinity and human nature under foot, caused my
father to breathe his last under all the rigors of a
hard captivity? And should I marry her! No,
SifFredi, throw away that hope. Before the lurid
torch of such an hymeneal shall be kindled in your
presence, you shall behold all Sicily in flames, and
the expiring embers quenched in blood.

Do not my ears deceive me? exclaimed Leontio.
Ah ! Sovereign, what a scene do you present me.
with! Who can hear such menaces without shud-
dering? But I am too forward to take alarm, con-
tinued he, in an altered voice. You are in too close
a union with your subjects to be the instrument of a
catastrophe so melancholy. You will not suffer

ELVmA'S NARRATIVE. 361

passion to triumph over your reason. Virtues like
yours shall never lose their lustre by the* tarnish of
human and ordinary weakness. If I have given my
daughter into the arms of the constable, it was with
the design, my liege, of securing to your majesty a
powerful subject, able by liis own valor, and the
army under his command, to maintain your party
against that of the Prince Don Pedro. It appeared
to me that by connecting him with my family in so
close a bond .... Yes, yes ! This bond, ex-
claimed Prince Enriquez, this fatal bond has been
my ruin. Unfeeling friend, to aim a wound at my
vital part ! Wliat commission had you to take care
of my interests at the expense of my affections?
Why did you not leave me to support my preten-
sions by my own arm? AVas there any question
about my courage, that I should be thought incom-
petent to reduce my rebellious subjects to their obe-
dience? Means might have been found to punish
the constable had he dared to have fallen off from
his allegiance ! I am well aware of the differ-
ence between a lawful king and an arbitrary
tyrant. The happiness of our people is our first
duty. But are we, on the other hand, to be the
slaves of our subjects ? From the moment when we
are selected by Heaven for our high office, do we
lose the connnon privilege of nature, the bii'thright
of the human race, to dispose of our affections in
whatsoever current they flow ? Well, then ! If we
arc less our own masters than the lowest of the
human race, take back, Siffredi, that sovereign

362 <5^-^ -S-^^s.

authority you affect to have secured to me by the
wreck of my personal happiness.

You cannot but be acquainted, ray liege, replied
the minister, that it was on your marriage with the
princess, the late king, your uncle, made the succes-
sion of the crown to depend. And by what right,
rejoined Enriquez, did even he assume to himself
so arbitrary a disposition ? Was it on such unworthy
terms that he succeeded his brother, King Charles?
How came you yourself to be so besotted as to allow
of a stipulation so unjust ! For a high chancellor,
you are not too well versed in our laws and constitu-
tions. To cut the matter short, though I have prom-
ised my hand to Constance, the engagement was not
voluntary. I do not, therefore, think myself bound
to keep my word ; and if Don Pedro founds on my
refusal any hope of succeeding to the throne without
involving the nation in a bloody and destructive con-
test, his error will be too soon visible. The sword
shall decide between us to whom the prize of empire
may more Avorthily fall. Leontio could not venture
to press him further, and confined himself to sup-
plicating on his knees for the liberty of his son-in-
law. That boon he obtained. Go, said the king to
him, return to Belmonte, the constable shall follow
you thither without delay. The minister departed,
and made the best of his way to Belmonte, under the
persuasion that his son-in-law would overtake him
on the road. In this he was mistaken. Enriquez
was determined to visit Blanche that night, and with
such views he deferred the enlargement of her hus-!
band till the next morning.

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. 363

Duriiiff this time the feehnjijs of the constable were
of the most .agonizing nature. His imprisonment
had opened his eyes to the real cause of his misfor-
tune. He gave himself up to jealousy without re-
straint or remorse, and belieing the good faith which
had hitherto rendered his character so valuable, his
thoufirhts were all bent on his re^en^re. As he con-
jectured rightly that the king would not fail to recon-
noitre Blanche's apartment during the night, it was
his object to surprise them together. He, therefore,
besouofht the governor of the castle at Palermo to
allow of his absence from the prison, on the as-
surance of his return before daybreak. The gov-
ernor, who was devoted to his interest, gave his per-
mission so much the more easily, as being already
advertised that Siflf'redi had procured his liberty.
Indeed he even went so far as to supply him with a
horse for his journey to Bchnonte. The constable
on his arrival there fastened liis \\oysq to a tree. He
then got into the park by a little gate of which he
had the key, and was lucky enough to slip into the
castle without being recognized by any one. On
reaching his wife's apartment, he concealed liimsclf
in the ante-chamber, beiiind a screen placed as if
expressly for his use. His intention was to observe
narrowly what was going forward, and to present
himself on the sudden in Blanche's chamber at the
sound of any footstep he should hear. The first
object he bclield was Xisa, taking leave of lier mis-
tress for the night, and withdrawing to a closet
where she slept.

364 GJL BLAS.

Siffredi's daughter, who had been at no loss to
fathom the meaning of her husband's imprisonment,
was fully convinced that he would not return to Bel-
monte that ni^^ht, althoug^h she had heard from her
father of the king's assurance that the constable
should set out immediately after him. As little
could she doubt but Enriquez would avail himself
of the interval to see and converse with her at his
pleasure. With this expectation she awaited the
prince's arrival, to reproach him for a line of con-
duct so pregnant with fatal consequences to herself.
As she had anticipated, a very short time after Nisa
had retired, the sliding panel oi)ened, and the king
threw himself at the feet of his beloved. Madam,
said he, condemn me not without a hearing. It is
true I have occasioned the constable's imprisonment,
but then consider that it was the only method left me
for my justification. Attribute, therefore, that desper-
ate stratagem to yourself alone. Why did you re-
fuse to listen to my explanation this morning ? Alas !
to-morrow your liusband will be liberated, and I
shall no longer have an opportunity of addressing
you. Hearken to me then for the last time. If the
loss of you has embittered the remainder of ray days,
vouchsafe me at least the melancholy satisfaction of
convincing you that I have not called down this mis-
fortune on myself by my own inconstancy. I did
indeed confirm the pledge of my hand to Constance,
but then it was unavoidable in the situation to which
your father's policy had reduced us. It was neces-
sary to put this imposition on the princess for your

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. 3^5

interest and for my own ; to secure to you your
crown, and with it the hand and heart of your de-
voted lover. I had flattered myself with the pros-
pect of success. Measures were already taken to
supersede that engagement, but you have destroyed
the bright illusions of my fancy ; and, by disposing
of yourself too precipitately, have antedated an
eternity of torment for two hearts, whom a mutual
and perfect love might have conducted to perpetual
bliss.

He concluded this explanation with such evident
marks of unfeigned agony, that Blanche was affected
by his words. She had no longer any hesitation
about his innocence. At first lier joy was unbounded
at the conviction ; but then again a sense of their
cruel circumstances gained the ascendant over her
mind. Ah ! my honored lord, said she to the prince,
after such a determination of our destinies, you only
inflict a new pang by informing me that you were
not to blame. What have I done, wretched as I
am? My keen resentment has betrayed me into
error. I fancied myself cast off ; and in the moment
of my anger, accepted the hand of tlie constable,
whose addresses my father promoted. But the
crime is all my own, though the woes are mutual.
Alas ! In the very conjuncture when I accused you
of deceiving me, it was my own act, too credulously
impassioned as I was, that the ties were broken,
which I had sworn for ever to make indissoluble.
Take your revenge, my lord, in your turn. Indulge
your hatred against the ungrateful Blanche ....

§66 GIL BLAS.

Forget .... What ! and is it in my power tlien,
madam ? interrupted Enriquez with a dejected air :
how is it possible to tear a passion from my heart,
which even your injustice had not the power of ex-
tinguishing ? Yet it becomes necessary for you to
make that effort, my liege, replied the daughter of
Siffredi, with a deep sigh .... And shall you be
equal to that effort yourself? replied the king. I am
not confident with myself for my success, answered
she : but I shall spare no pains in the attainment of my
object. Ah ! unfeeling fair one, said the prince, you
will easily banish Enriquez from your remembrance,
since you can contemplate such a purpose so stead-
fastly. Whither, then, does your imagination lead?
said Blanche, in a more decisive tone. Do you flat-
ter yourself that I can permit the continuance of
your tender assiduities ? No, my lord; banish that
hope for ever from your thoughts. If I was not
born for royalty, neither has Heaven formed me to be
degraded by illicit addresses. My husband, like your-
self, my liege, is allied to the noble house of Anjou.
Though the call of duty were less peremptory, in
opposing an insurmountable obstacle to your insidious
proposals, a sense of pride would hinder me from
admitting them. I conjure you to withdraw ; we
must meet no more. What a barbarous sentence !
exclaimed the king. Ah ! Blanche, is it possible
that you should treat me with so much severity ? Is
it not enough, then, to weigh me down, that the con-
stable should be in possession of your charms ? And
yet you would cut me off from the bare sight of you,

ELVIRA'S NARRATIVE. 36Y

the only comfort which remains to me ! For that
very reason avoid my presence, answered Siffredi's
daughter, not without some tears of tenderness.
The contemphition of what we have dearly loved is
no longer a blessing, when we have lost all hope of
the possession. Adieu, my lord! Shun my very
image. You owe that exertion to your own honor
and to my good name. I claim it also for my own
peace of mind : for to deal sincerely, though my
virtue should be steady enough to combat with the
suggestions of my heart, the very remembrance of
your affection stirs up so cruel a conflict, that it is
almost too much for my frail nature to support the
shock.

Her utterance of these words was attended with so
energetic an action, as to overset the light placed on
a table beliind her, and its fall left the room in dark-
ness. Blanche picked it up. She then opened the
door of the antechamber, and went to Nisa's closet,
who was not yet gone to bed, for the purpose of
lighting it again. She was now returning, after
having accomplished lier errand. The king, who
was waiting for her impatiently, no sooner saw her
approach, than he resumed his ardent plea with her,
to alloAv of his attentions. At the prince's voice,
the constable rushed impetuously, sword in hand,
into the room, almost at the same moment with his
bride. Advancing up to Enriquez with all the in-
dignation which his fury kindled within him : Tliis
is too much, tyrant ! cried he ; flatter not yourself
that I am cowardly enough to bear with this affront

3^8 (^IL ULA^.

which you have offered to my honor. Ay ! traitor,
answered the king, standing on his guard, lay aside
the vain imagination of being able to compass your
purpose with impunity. With these mutual taunts,
they entered on a conflict, too violent to be long
undecided. The constable, fearing lest Siffredi and
his attendants should be roused too soon by the pierc-
ing shrieks of Blanche, and should interpose between
him and his revenge, took no care of himself. His
frenzy robbed him of all skill. He fenced so heed-
lessly, as to run headlong on his adversary's sword.
The weapon entered his body up to the hilt. He
fell ; and the king instantaneously checked his hand.
The daughter of Leontio, touched at her husband's
condition, and rising superior to hef natural repug-
nance, threw herself on the ground, and was anxious
to afford him every assistance. But that ill-fated
bridegroom was too deeply prejudiced against her, to
allow himself to be softened by the evidences she
gave of her sorrow and her pity. Death, whose
hand he felt upon him, could not trifle the trans-
ports of his jealousy. In these his last moments,
no image presented itself to his mind but his rival's
success. So insuflPerable was that idea to him, that,
collecting together the little strength he had left, he
raised his sword, which he still grasped convulsively,
and plunged it deep in Blanche's bosom. Die, said
he, as he inflicted the fatal wound ; die, faithless
bride, since the ties of wedlock were not strong
enough to preserve to me the vow which you had
sworn upon the altar ! And as for you, Enriquez,

MLVinA^S NARRATIVE. ggd

jDUrsued he, triumph not too loudly on your desti-
nies. You are prevented from taking advantage of
my fro ward fortune ; and I die content. Scarcely
did these words quiver on his lips, when he breathed
his last. His countenance, overcast as it was with
the shades of death, had still something in it of fierce-
ness and of terror. That of Blanche presented a
quite different aspect. The wound she had received
was mortal. She fell on the scarcely breathing body
of her husband ; and the blood of the innocent vic-
tim flowed in the same stream with that of her mur-
derer, who had executed his cruel piu'pose so sud-
denly that the king could not prevent it from taking
effect.

This ill-fated prince uttered a cry at the sight of
Blanche aa she fell. Pierced deeper than herself by
the stab which deprived her of life, he did his utmost
to afford the same relief to her as she had offered,
though at so fatal an expense, to one who might
have rewarded her better. But she addressed him
in these words, while the last breath quivered on her
lips : My lord, your assiduities are fruitless ; I am
the victim. Merciless Fate demands me, and I
resign myself to death. ^lay the anger of Heaven
be appeased by the sacrifice, and the prosperity of
your reign be confirmed. As she was with difficulty
uttering these last words, Leontio, drawn thither by
the reverberation of her shrieks, came into the room,
and, thunderstruck at the dreadful scene before
him, remained fixed to the spot where he stood.
Blanche, without noticing his presence, went on ad-
voL. I. 24

370 GIL BLA$.

dressing herself to the king. Farewell, prince, said
she ; cherish my memory with the tenderness it
deserves. My affection and my misfortunes entitle
me at least to that. Harbor no aversion to my
father ; he is innocent. Be a comfort to his remain-
ing days ; assuage his grief; acknowledge his fidelity.
Above all, convince him of my spotless virtue.
With this I charge you, before every other consider-
ation. Farewell, my dear Enriquez ... I am
dying . . . Receive my last sigh.

Here her words were intercepted by the approach
of death. For some time, the king maintained a
sullen silence. At length he said to Siffredi, whose
senses seemed to be locked up in a mortal trance :
Behold, Leontio ; feed on the contemplation of your
own work. In this tragical event, you may ruminate
on the issues of your officious cares, and your over-
weening zeal for my service. The old man returned
no answer, so deeply was he penetrated by his afflic-
tion. But wherefore dwell on the description of
circumstances, when the powers of language must
sink under the weight of such a catastrophe ? Suf-
fice it to say, that they mutually poured forth their
sorrows in the most affecting terms, as soon as their
grief allowed them to give vent to its effusions in
speech.

Through the whole course of his life, the king
cherished a tender recollection of his mistress. He
coidd not bring himself to marry Constance. The
Infant Don Pedro combined with that princess, and,
by their joint efforts, an obstinate attempt was made

tdifcLusion 6P ELvmA's narrative. 371

to carry the will of Roger into execution ; but they
were compelled in the end to give way to Prince
Enriquez, who gained the ascendancy over all his
enemies. As for Siffrcdi, the melancholy he con-
tracted from having been the cause of destruction to
his dearest friends, gave him a disgust to the world,
and made a longer abode in his native country in-
supportable. He turned liis back on Sicily for ever ;
and, coming over into Spain with Portia, his sur-
viving daughter, purchased this mansion. He lived
nearly fifteen years after the death of Blanche, and
had the consolation, before his own death, of estab-
lishinof Portia in the world. She married Don
Jerome de Silva, and I am the only issue of that
marriage. Such, pm-sued the widow of Don Pedrc
de Pinares, is the story of my family : a faithful
recital of the melancholy events, represented in that
picture, which was painted by order of my grand-
father Leontio, as a record to his posterity of the
fatal adventure I have related.

•+»*«

CHAPTER V.

THE BEHAVIOR OF AURORA DE QUZMAK ON HER ARRIVAL
AT SALAMANCA.

Ortiz, her companions, and myself, after having
heard this tale, withdrew together from the hall,
where we left Aurora with Elvira. There they

372 (ilL BLA^.

lengthened out the remainder of the day in a mutual
intercourse of confidence. They were not likely to
be weary of each other, and on the following morn-
ing, when we took our leave, there was as much to
do to part them, as if they had been two friends
brought up in the closest habits of confidence and
affection.

In due time we reached Salamanca without any
impediment. There we immediately engaged a
ready-furnished house, and Dame Ortiz, as it had
been before agreed, assumed the name of Donna
Kimena de Guzman. She had played the part of a
duenna too long not to be able to shift her character
according to circumstances. One momino: she went
out with Aurora, a waiting-maid, and a man-servant,
and betook herself to a lodging-house, where we had
been informed that Pacheco most commonly took up
his abode. She asked if there was any lodging to
be let there. The answer was in the affirmative,
and they showed her into a room in very neat con-
dition, which she hired. She paid down earnest to
the landlady, telling her that it was for one of her
nephews who was coming from Toledo to finish his
studies at Salamanca, and might be expected on that
very day.

The duenna and my mistress, after having made
sure of this apartment, went back the way they
came, and the lovely Aurora, without the loss of
time, metamorphosed herself into a spruce young
spark. She concealed her black ringlets under a
braid of light-colored hair, the better to disguise

AURORA'S DISGUISE. 373

herself ; . . . manufactured her eyebrows to cor-
respond, and dressed herself up in such a costume
as to look for all the world as if her sex were of a
piece with her appearance. Her deportment was
free and easy ; so that, with the exception of her
face, which was somewhat more delicate than became
the manly character, there was nothing to lead to a
discovery of her masquerading. The waiting- woman
who was to oflficiate as page, got into her para-
phernalia at the same time*, and we had no appre-
hension respecting her competency to perform her
part. There was no danger of her beauty telling
any tales ; and, besides, she could put on as brazen-
faced a swagger as the most impudent dog in town.
After dinner, our two actresses, finding themselves
in cue to make their first appearance on the stage,
where the scene was laid in the ready-furnished
lodging, took me along with them. We all three
placed ourselves in the coach, and carried with us
all the baggage we were Hkely to have occasion
for.

The landlady, Bemarda Ramirez by name, wel-
comed us with a glut of civility, and led the way to
our room, where we began to make our arrange-
ments with her. We concluded a bargain for our
board by the month, which she undertook should be
suitable to our condition. Then we asked if she had
her compliment of boarders. I have none at all at
present, answered she. Not that there would be any
want of enough, if I was of the mind to take in all
sorts of people ; bat young men of fashion are the

374 GIL BLAS.

thing for me. I expect one of that description this
mornino; : he is comino; hither from Madrid to com-
plete liis education. Don Lewis Pacheco ! But
you must have heard of him before now. No, said
Aurora, I have no acquaintance whatever with the
gentleman ; and since we are to be inmates together,
you will do me a kindness by letting me a little into
his character. Please your honor, replied the land-
lady, leering at this outside of a man, his figure is
as taking as your own ; 'just the same sort of make,
and about the same size. O ! how well you will do
together ! By St. James, though I say it who
should not say it, I shall have about me two of the
prettiest young fellows in all Spain. AVell, but
about Don Lewis ! for my mistress was in a fidget
to ask the grand question. Of course ; ... he is
well with the ladies in your parts ! Enough of . . .
of love affairs ... on his hands ! O ! do not you
be afraid of that, rejoined the old lady ; it is a for-
ward sprig of gallantry, take my word for it. He
has but to show himself before the works, and the
citadel sends to capitulate. Among the number of
his conquests, he has got into the good graces of a
lady, with as much youth and beauty as he will
know what to do with. Her name is Isabella. Her
father is an old doctor of laws. She is over head
and ears in love with him ; absolutely out of her
wits ! Well, but do tell me now, my dear little
woman, interrupted Aurora, as if she was ready to
burst, is he out of his wits too? He used to be very
fond of her, answered Bernarda Ramirez, before b§

DON LEWIS INTRODUCES HIMSELF. 375

went last to Madrid, but whether he holds in the
same mind still, I will not venture to say ; because
on these points he is not altogether to be trusted.
He is apt to flirt, first with one woman, and then
with another, just as all you young deceivers take
pleasure in doing. You are all alike !

The bonny widow had scarcely got to the end of
her harangue, before we heard a noise in the court.
On looking out at the window, behold ! there ap-
peared two young men disrnounting from their steeds.
Who should it be, but the identical Don Lewis
Pacheco, just arrived from Madrid, with a servant
behind him. The old lady brushed off to go and
usher liim in ; while my mistress was putting herself
in order, not without some palpitation of heart, to
enact Don Felix to the best of her conceptions.
Without waiting for any formalities, in marched
Don Lewis to our apartment in his travelling dress.
I have just been informed, said he, paying his re-
spects to Aurora, that a young nobleman of Toledo
takes up his abode in tliis house. May I take the
liberty of expressing my joy in the circumstance,
and hoping that we may be better acquainted ? Dur-
ing my mistress's reply to this compliment, it seemed
to me as if Pacheco did not know wliat to make of
80 smock-faced a young spark. Indeed he could not
refrain from declaring a more than ordinary admira-
tion of an air and figure so attractive. After abun-
dance of discourse, with every demonstration of
reciprocal good breeding, Don Lewis withdi'cw to the
apartment provided for him.

376 GIL BLAS.

While he was getting his boots off, and changing
his dress and Hnen, a sort of a page, on the look-out
after him to deliver a letter, met Aurora by chance
on the staircase. Her he mistook for Don Lewis.
Thinking he had found the right owner for this
tender message, of which he was the Mercury,
Softly ! my honored lord and master, said he, though
I have not the honor of knowing Sign or Pacheco,
there can be no occasion for asking whether you are
the man. It is impossible to be mistaken in the
guess. No, my friend, answered my mistress with
a most happy presence of mind, assuredly you are
not mistaken. You acquit yourself of your embassies
to a marvel. I am Don Lewis Pacheco. You may
retire ! I will find an opportunity of sending an
answer. The page vanished, and Aurora, shutting
herself up with her waiting-maid and me, opened the
letter, and read to us as follows : — "I have just
heard of your being at Salamanca. With what joy
did I receive the news ! I thought I should have
gone out of my senses. But do you love Isabella as
well as ever ? Lose no time in assuring her that you
are still the same. In good truth, she will almost
expire with pleasure when .once she is assured of
your constancy."

This is a mighty passionate epistle, said Aurora.
The heart that indited it has been caught in a trap.
This lady is a rival of no mean capacity. No pains
must be spared to wean Don Lewis from her, and
even to prevent any future interview. The under-
tfiking is difficult, I acknowledge, and yet therQ

AURORA DECEIVES DON LEWIS. 377

seems no reason to despair of the result. My mis-
tress, taking her own hint, fell into a fit of musing ;
from which, having recovered as soon as she fell
into it, she added : I will lay a wager they are at
daggers drawn in less than twenty-four hours. It
80 happened that Pacheco, after a short repose in his
apartment, came to look after us in ours, and entered
once more into conversation with Aurora before sup-
per. ]VIy dapper little knight, said he with a rakish
air, I fancy the poor devils of husbands and lovers
will have no reason to hug themselves on your ar-
rival at Salamanca. You will make their hearts
ache for them. As for myself, I tremble for all my
snug arrangements. I tell you what I answered my
mistress with congenial spirit, your fears are not
without their foundation. Don Felix de Mendoza
is rather formidable, so take care what you are
about. This is not my first visit in this country ;
the ladies hereabouts, to my knowledge, are made of
penetrable materials. About a month ago my way
happened to lie through this city. I halted for
eight days, and you are to know . . . but you must
not mention it . . . that I set fire to the daughter
of an old doctor of laws.

It was evident enough that Don Lewis was dis-
turbed by this declaration. Might one without im-
propriety, replied he, just ask the lady's name?
What do you mean by impropriety? exclaimed the
pretended Don Felix. Why make any secret about
such a matter as that ? Do you think me more of a
Joseph than other young noblemen of my standing?

378 C?/I, BLAS.

Have a better opinion of my spirit. Besides, the
object, between ourselves, is unworthy of any great
reserve, she is but a little mushroom of the lower
ranks. A man of fashion never quarrels with his
conscience about such obscure gallantries, and even
thinks it an honor conferred on a tradesman's wife
or daughter when he leaves her without any. I shall,
therefore, acquaint you in plain terms, that the name
of the doctor's daughter is Isabella. And the doc-
tor himself, interrupted Pacheco impatiently ....
he possibly may be Signor Murcia de la Liana?
Precisely so, replied my mistress. Here is a letter
sent me just now. Read it, and then you will see
how deeply your humble servant has dipped into her
good graces. Don Lewis just cast his eye upon the
note, and recognizing the handwriting, was struck
dumb with astonishment and vexation. ^AHiat is the
matter? cried Aurora, with an air of surprise, keep-
ing up the spirit of her assumed character. You
change color ! God forgive me, but you are a
party concerned in this young lady. Ah ! plague
take my officious tongue for having opened my
affairs to you with so much frankness.

I am very much obliged to you for it for my own
part, said Don Lewis, in a transport made up of
spite and rage. Traitress ! Jilt ! My dear Don
Felix, how shall I ever requite you ! You have
restored me to my senses when they were just on
the wing for an eternal flight. I was tickling my-
self into a fool's paradise of credulous love. But
love is too cold a term to express my extravagances,

PACHECO RENOUNCES ISABELLA. 379

I fancied myself adored by Isabella. The creature
had wormed herself into my heart by feigning to
give me her own. But now I know her clearly for
a coquette, and as such despise her as she deserves.
Your feelings on the occasion do you infinite credit,
said Aurora, testifying a friendly sympathy in his
resentment. A plodding pettifogger's worthless
brood might hn^-e gorged to surfeit on the love of a
young nobleman so captivating as yourself. Her
fickleness is inexcusable. So far from taking her
sacrifice of you in good part, it is my determination
to punish her by the keenest contempt. As for me,
rejoined Pachcco, I shall never set eyes on her again ;
and if that is not revenge, the devil is in it. You
arc in the right, exclaimed our masquerading ]Men-
doza. At the same time, that slie may fully under-
stand how ineffably we both disdain her, I vote for
sitting down, each of us, and writing her a sarcastic
farewell. They shall be enclosed in one cover, and
serve as an answer to her own letter. But do not
let us proceed to this extremity till you have exam-
ined your heart ; it may be you will repent hereafter
of having broken off with Isabella. Xo, no, inter-
rupted Don Lewis, I am not such a fool as tliat comes
to ; let it be a bargain, and we will mortify the un-
grateful wretch as you propose.

I immediately sent for pen, ink, and paper, when
they sat themselves down at opposite corners of the
table, and drew up a most tender bill of indictment
against Doctor Murcia de la Liana's dauj^hter.
J*^heco, in particular, was at a loss for language

380 ^^^ BLAS.

forcible enough to convey his sentiments in all their
acrimony ; away went exordium after exordium, to
the tearing and maiming of five or six fair sheets,
before the words looked crooked enough to please his
jealous eyes. At length, however, he produced an
epistle which came up with his most tragical concep-
tions. It ran thus : " Self-knowledge is a leading
branch of wisdom, my little philosopher. As a can-
didate for a professor's chair, lay aside the vanity of
fancying yourself amiable. It requires merit of a
far different compass to fix my affections. You have
not enough of the woman about you to afford me
even a temporary amusement. Yet do not despair ;
you have a sphere of your own ; the beggarly servi-
tors in our university have a keen appetite, but no
very distinguishing palate." So much for this ele-
gant epistle ! When Aurora had finished hers,
which rang the changes on similar topics, she sealed
them, wrapped them up together, and giving me the
packet : There, Gil Bias, said she, take care that
comes to Isabella's hands this very evening. You
comprehend me ! added she, with a glance from the
comer of her eye, which admitted of no doubtful
construction. Yes, my lord, answered I, your com-
mands shall be executed to a tittle.

I lost no time in taking my departure ; no sooner
in the street than I said to myself. So ho ! Master
Gil Bias, your part then is that of the intriguing
footman in this comedy. Well ! so be it, my friend !
show that you have wit and sense enough to top it
pver the favorite actor of the day. Signor Don

GIL 61 AS^ I^^TEkVI^W Wtni ISABELLA. 38 1

Felix thinks a wink as good as a nod. A high
compliment to the quickness of your apprehension !
Is he then in an error ? No ! His hint is as clear
as daylight. Don Lewis's letter is to drop its com-
panion by the way. A lucid exposition of a dark
hieroglyphic, enough to shame the dulness of the
commentators. The sacredness of a seal could never
stand against this bright discovery. Out came the
single letter of Pacheco, and away went I to hunt
after Doctor Murcia's abode. At the very threshold,
whom should I meet but the little page who had been
at our lodging. Comrade, said I, do not you hap-
pen to live with the great lawyer's daughter? His
answer was in the affirmative. I see by your coun-
tenance, resumed I, that you know the ways of the
world. May I beg the favor of you to slip this lit-
tle memorandum into your mistress's hand ?

The little page asked me on whose behalf I was a
messenger. The name of Don Lewis Pacheco had
no sooner escaped my lips, than he told me. Since
that is the case, follow me ; I have orders to show
you up ; Isabella wants to confer with you. I was
introduced at once into a private apartment, where
it was not long before the lady herself made her ap-
pearance. The beauty of her face was inexpressibly
striking ; I do not recollect to have seen more lovely
features. Her manner was somewhat mincinjj and
infantine, and yet for all that it had been thirty good
years at least since she had mewled and puked in her
nurse's arms. My friend, said she with an encour-
aging smile, are you on Don Lewis Pacheco's estab-

382 6^^ ^^^^'

lishment? I told her I had been in office for thes6
three weeks. With this I fired off my paper popgun
against her peace. She read it over two or three
times, but if slie had rubbed her eyes till doomsday
she would have seen no clearer. In point of fact,
nothing could be more unexpected than so cavalier
an answer. Up went her eyes towards the heavens,
appealing to their rival luminaries. The ivory *
fences of her pretty mouth committed alternate tres-
pass on her soft and suffering lips, and her whole
physiognomy bore witness to the pangs of her dis-
tressed and disappointed heart. Then coming to
herself a little, and recovering her speech, My
friend, said she, has Don Lewis taken leave of his
senses? Tell me, if you can, his motive for so
heroic an epistle. If he is tired of me, well and
good, but he might have taken his leave like a gen-
tleman.

Madam, said I, my master most assuredly has not
acted as I should have acted in his place. But he
has in some sort been compelled to do as he has
done. If you would give me your word to keep
the secret, I could unravel the whole mystery.
You have it at once, interrupted she with eager-
ness ; depend on it you shall be brought into no

* Should this phrase appear far-fetched in the person of Gil Bias,
it may be recollected, that though not much of a student himself, he
liad waited on students ; and might have sucked in, while standing
behind their chairs, along with " fates and destinies, and such old
sayings, the sisters three, and such branches of learning," that
exquisitely characteristic Greek metaphor, " a hedge of teeth." —
Tbaxslatob.

GIL hi As' iMfEnVlEW WttH tSAMLLA. 383

scrape by me, therefore explain yourself without
reserve. Well then ! replied I, the fact is, without
paraphrase, circumlocution, loss of time, or perplex-
ity of understanding, as I shall distinctly state in
two short words : Not half a minute after the re-
ceipt of your letter, there came into our house a
lady, under a veil as impenetrable as her purpose
Wiis dark. She enquired for Sign or Pacheco, and
talked with him in private for some time. At the
close of the conversation, I overheard her saying.
You swear to me never to see her more ; but we
must not stop there : to set my heart completely at
rest, you must instantly write her a farewell letter
of my dictating. You know my terms. Don Lewis
did as she desired; then, giving the result into my
custody. Acquaint yourself, said he, where Doctor
Murcia de la Liana lives, and contrive to administer
this love potion to his daughter Isabella.

You see plainly, madam, pursued I, that this un-
civil epistle is a rival's handiwork, and that, conse-
quently, my master is not so much to blame as he
appears. O Heaven ! exclaimed she, he is more so
than I was aware of. His words mifjht have been
the error of his hand, but his infidelity is the offence
of his heart. Faithless man ! Now he is held by
other ties ! . . . . But, added she, assuming an air
of disdain, let him devote himself unconstrained to
his new passion ; I shall never cross him. Tell
liim, however, that he need not have insulted me.
I should have left the course open to my rival, with-
out his warning me from the field : for so fickle a

384 G?/L BLAS.

lover has not soul enough about him to pay for thd
degradation of soliciting his return. With this sen-
timent she gave me my dismissal, and retired in a
whirlwind of passion against Don Lewis.

My exit was conducted entirely to my own satis-
faction, for I conceived that with due cultivation of
my talent I might in time become a consummate
hypocrite and most successful cheat. I returned
home on the strength of it, where I found my worthy
master Mendoza and Pacheco supping together,
and rattling away as if they had been playfellows
from their cradles. Aurora saw at once, by my
self-sufficient air, that her commission had not been
neglected in my hands. Here you are again then,
Gil Bias, said she ; give us an account of your em-
bassy. Wit and invention was all I had to trust to,
so I told them I had delivered the packet into Isa-
bella's own hands ; who, after having glanced over
the contents of the two letters, so far from seeming
disconcerted, burst into a fit of laughter, as if she
had been mad, and said, Upon my word, our
young men of fashion write in a pretty style. It
must be owned they are much more entertaining than
scribes of plebeian rank. It was a very good way of
getting out of the scrape, exclaimed my mistress ; she
must be an arrant coquette. For my part, said Don
Lewis, I cannot trace a feature of Isabella in this
conduct. Her character must have been completely
metamorphosed in my absence. She struck me, too,
in a very different light, replied Aurora. It must
be allowed some women can assume all modes and

THEY coSDKM^f Isabella. gg.i

fashions at will. I was once in love with one of
that description, and a fine dance she led me. Gil
Bias, can you tell the whole story? She had ari
air of propriety about her wliich might have imposed
upon a whole synod of old maids. It is true, said
I, putting in my oar ; it was a face to play the devil
with a sworn bachelor : I could scarcely have been
proof against it myself.

The personated Mendoza and Pacheco shouted
with laughter at my manner of expressing myself;
the one for the false witness I bore against a culprit
of my own creation ; the other laughed simply at
the phrase in which my anathema was couched.
We went on talking about the Acrsatility of women ;
and the verdict, after hearing the evidence, all on
one side, was given against Isabella. A convicted
coquette ! and sentence passed on her accordingly.
Don Lewis made a fresh vow never to see her more,
and Don Felix, after his example, swore to hold her
in eternal abhorrence. By dint of these mutual
protestations, a sort of friendship was established on
the spur of the occasion, and they promised on both
sides to keep no secrets from each other. The time
after supper j)assed in ingratiating intercourse, and
the time seemed short till they retired to their sepa-
rate apartments. I followed Aurora to hers, where
I gave her a faithful account of my con\ersation
with the doctor's dau"jhter, not forwttino^ the most
trivial circumstance. She had nmch ado to help
kissing me for joy. ISIy dear Gil Bias, said she,
I am delighted with your spirit. When one has

vox,. I. 26

38(5 GtL ULAS.

the misfortune to be engaged in a passion not to be
gratified but by stratagems, what an advantage is it
to secure on the right side a lad of so enterprising a
genius as yourself. Courage, my friend ! we have
thrown a rival into the back ground, whose presence
in the scene might have marred our comedy. So
far, all is well. But as lovers are subject to strange
vagaries, it seems to me that we must make short
work of it, and bring Aurora de Guzman on the
stage to-morrow. The idea met with my entire
approbation ; so, leaving Signor Don Felix with his
page, I withdrew to bed in an adjoining closet.

■tXi'

CHAPTER VI.

AURORA'S DEVICES TO SECURE DON LEWIS PACHECO'S
AFFECTIONS.

The two new friends met as soon as they came
down in the morning. The ceremonies of the day
began with reciprocal embraces, about which it was
impossible for Aurora to be squeamish, for then Don
Felix must have dropped the mask altogether. They
went out and walked about town arm in arm,
attended by Chilindron, Don Lewis's footman, and
myself, ^ye loitered about the gates of the univer-
sity, looking at some posting-bills and advertise-
ments of new publications. There were a good
many people amusing themselves, like us, with read-

AVR0RA*8 CONVmSAftOl^ WiTIt PACllEOO. ^37

ing over the contents of these placards. Among the
rest, my eye was caught by a Httle fellow who was
giving his opinion very learnedly on the works
exposed for sale. I observed him to be heard with
profound attention, and could not help remarking
how amply he deserved it in his own opinion. He
was evidently a complete coxcomb, of an arrogant
and dictatorial stamp, the common curse of your
gentry under size. This new translation of Horace,
said he, announced here to the public in letters of a
yard long, is a prose work, executed by an old col-
lege author. The students have taken a great fancy
to the book, so as to carry off four editions ; but
not a copy has been bought by any man of taste !
His criticisms were scarcely more candid on any of
the other books : he mauled them every one without
mercy. It was easy enough to see he was an au-
thor I I should not have been sorry to have staid
out liis harangue, but Don Lewis and Don Felix
were not to be left in the lurch. Now, they took as
little pleasure in this gentleman's remarks as they
felt interest in the books which he was Scaliijerizinir,
so that they took a quiet leave of him and the uni-
versity.

We returned home at dinner-time. My mistress
sat down at table with Pacheco, and dexterously
turned the conversation on her private concerns.
My father, said she, is a younger branch of the
Mendoza family, settled at Toledo, and my mother
is own sister to Donna Kimenade Guzman, who came
to Salamanca some days ago on an affair of business,

with her niece Aurora, only daughter of Don Vin-
cent de Guzman, whom possibly you might be
acqainted with. No, answered Don Lewis ; but I
have often heard of him, as well as of your cousin
Aurora. Is it true what they say of her ? Her wit
and beauty are reported to be unrivalled. As for
wit, replied Don Fehx, she certainly is not wanting,
for she has taken great pains to cultivate her mind ;
but her beauty is by no means to be boasted of — in-
deed we are thought to be very much alike. If that
is the case, exclaimed Pacheco, she cannot be behind-
hand with her reputation. Your features are regular,
your complexion almost too fine for a man : your
cousin must be an absolute enchantress. I should
like to see and converse with her. That you shall,
if I have any interest in the family, and this very
day, too, replied the little Proteus of a Mendoza.
We will go and see my aunt after dinner.

My mistress took the first opportunity of chang-
ing the topic and conversing on indifferent subjects.
In the afternoon, while the two friends were getting
ready to go and call on Donna Kimena, I played
the scout, and ran before to prepare the duenna for
her visitors. But there was no time to be lost on
my return, for Don Felix was waiting for me to
attend Don Lewis and him on their way to his
aunt's. No sooner had they stepped over the
threshold than they were encountered by the adroit
old lady, making signs to them to walk as softly as
possible. Hush ! hush ! said she, in a low voice ; you
will waken my niece. Ever since yesterday ; she

AURORA AND PACIIECO'S ADVENTURE. 389

has had a dreadful headache, but is just now a Httle
better ; and the poor girl has been taking a little
sleep for the last quarter of an hour. I am sorry
for this unlucky accident, said Mendoza ; I was in
hopes we should have seen my cousin ; besides, I
meant to have introduced my friend Pachecc. There
is no such great hurry on that account, answered
Ortiz, with a significant smile ; and if that is all, you
may defer it till to-morrow. The gentlemen did not
trouble the old lady with a long visit, but took their
leave as soon as they decently could.

Don Lewis took us to see a young gentleman of
his acquaintance, by name Don Gabriel de Pedros.
There we staid the remainder of the day, and took
our suppers. About two o'clock in the morning we
sallied forth on our return home. We had got
about half way, wlicn Ave stumbled against some-
thing on the ground, and discovered two men
stretched at their length in the street. We con-
cluded they had fallen imdcr the knife of the assas-
sin, and stopped to assist them, if yet within reach
of assistance. As we were looking about to inform
ourselves of their condition as nearly as the dark-
ness of the night would allow, the patrol came up.
The officer took us at first for the murderers, and
ordered his people to surround us ; but he mended
his opinion of us on the sound of our voices, and by
favor of a dark lantern held up to the face of Men-
doza and Paclieco. His nivrmidcms, by his direc-
tion, examined the two men, whom our fimcies had
painted as in the agonies of death ; but it turned out

390 GIL BLAS.

to be a fat licenciate with his servant, both of them
overtaken in their cups, and not dead, but dead
drunk. Gentlemen, exclaimed one of the posse,
this jolly fellow is an acquaintance of mine. What !
do you not know Signor Guyomer the licentiate,
head of our university ? With all his imperfections
he is a great character — a. man of superior genius.
He is as staunch as a hound at a philosophical dis-
pute, and his words flow like a gutter after a hail-
storm. He has but three foibles in Avhich he in-
dulges : intoxication, litigation, and fornication.
He is now returning from supper at his Isabella's,
whence, the more is the pity, the drunk was leading
the drunk, and they both fell into the kennel. Before
the good licentiate came to the headship this hap-
pened continually. Though manners make the man,
honors, you perceive, do not always mend the man-
ners. We left these drunkards in custody of the
patrol, who carried them safe home, and betook
ourselves to our lod^■in<^• and our beds.

D(m Felix and Don Lewis were stirring about
mid-day. Aurora de Guzman was tlie first topic of
their conversation. Gil Bias, said my mistress to
me, run to my aunt. Donna Kimena, and ask if
there is any admission for Signor Pacheco and me
to-day, we want to see my cousin. Off I went to
acquit myself of this commission, or rather to con-
cert the plan of the campaign with the duenna. We
had no sooner laid our heads together to the purpose
intended, than I was once more at the elbow of the
false Mendoza. Sir, quoth I, your cousin Aurora

AURORA'S STRATAGEM. 391

has got about wonderfully. She enjoined me from
her own lips to acquaint you that your visit could
not be otherwise than highly acceptable, and Donna
Kimena desired me to assure Signor Paeheco that
any friend of yours would always meet with a hos-
pitable reception.

These last words evidently tickled Don Lewis's
fancy. My mistress saw that the bait was swal-
lowed, and prepared hei'self to haul the prey to
shore. Just before dinner, a servant made his ap-
pearance from Signora Kimena, and said to Don
Felix, My lord, a man from Toledo has been inquir-
ing after you, and has left this note at your aunt's
house. The pretended jNIendoza opened it, and
read the contents aloud to the following effect :
" If your father and family still live in your remem-
brance, and you wish to hear of their concerns, do
not fail, on the receipt of this, to call at the Black
Horse, near the uni\ersity." I am too much inter-
ested, said he, in these proffered communications,
not to satisfy my curiosity at once. AVithout cere-
mony, Paeheco, you must excuse me for the pres-
ent ; if I am not back again here within two hours,
you may find your way by yourself to my aunt's ; I
will join the party in the evening. You recollect
Gil Bias' message from Donna Kimena ; the visit is
no more than what will be expected from you.
After having thrown oiit this hint, he left the room,
and ordered me to follow him.

It can scarcely be necessary to apprise the reader,
that instead of marching down to the Black Horse,

392 (^JL BLAS.

we filed off to our other quarters. The moment
that we got within doors, Aurora tore off her artificial
hair, washed the charcoal from her eyebrows, re-
sumed her female attire, and shone in all her natural
charms, a lovely, dark-complexioned girl. So com-
plete, indeed, had been her disguise that Aurora
and Don Felix could never have been suspected of •
identity. The lady seemed to have the advantage
of the gentleman even in stature, thanks to a good
high pair of heels, to which she was not a little
indebted. It was her first business to heighten her
personal graces with all the embellishments of art ;
after which she looked out for Don Lewis, in a state
of agitation, compounded of fear and hope. One
instant she felt confident in lier wit and beauty ; the
next, she anticipated tlie failure of her attempt.
Ortiz, on her part, set her best foot foremost, and
was determined to play up to my mistress. As for
me, Pacheco was not to see my knave's face till the
last act of the farce, for which the great actors are
always reserved, to unravel tlie intricacy of the plot ;
so I went out immediately after dinner.

In short, the puppet-show was all adjusted against
Don Lewis's arrival. He experienced a very
gracious reception from the old lady, in amends for
whose tediousness he was blessed with two or three
hours of Aurora's dcliglitful conversation. When
they had been together long enough, in popped I,
with a message to the enamoured spark. My lord,
my master Don Felix begs you ten thousand pardons,
but he cannot have the pleasure of waiting on you

PACIIECO IS SMITTEN. 393

here this evening. He is with three men of Toledo,
from whom he cannot possibly get away. O ! the
wicked little rogue, exclaimed Donna Kimena ; as
sure as a gun, then, he is going to make a night of
it. No, madam, replied I, they are deeply engaged
in very serious business. He is really distressed
that he cannot pay his respects, and commissioned
me to say everything proper to your ladyship and
Donna Aurora. O ! I will have none of his ex-
cuses, pouted out my mistress ; he knows very well
that I have been indisposed, and might show some
slight deo-ree of feelino- for so near a relation. As
a punishment, he shall not come near me for this
fortnight. Nay, madam, interposed Don Lewis,
such a sentence is too severe. Don Felix's fate is
but too pitiable, in having been deprived of yom*
society this evening.

They bandied about their fine speeches on these
little topics of gallantry for some time, and then
Pacheco withdrew. The lovely Aurora metamor-
phosed herself in a twinkling, and resumed her
swashing outside. The grass did not grow under
her feet while she was running to the other lodging.
I have a million of apologies to make, my dear
friend, said she to Don Lewis, for not giving you the
meeting at my aunt's ; but there was no getting rid
of the tiresome people I was with. However, there
is one comfort, you have had so much the more
leisure to look about you, and criticise my cousin's
beauty. Well, and how do you like her? She is a
most lovely creature, answered P^heoo. You were

394 GIL BIAS.

in the right to claim a resemblance to her. I never
saw more correspondent features : the very same
cast of countenance, the eyes exactly alike, the
mouth evidently a family feature, and the tone of
voice scarcely to be distinguished. The likeness,
however, goes no further, for Aurora is taller than
you, she is brown and you are fair, you are a jolly
fellow, she has a little touch of the demure ; so that
you are not altogether the male and female Sosias.
As for good sense, continued he, if an angel from
heaven were to whisper wisdom in one ear, and your
cousin her mortal chit-chat in the other, I am afraid
the angel miglit whistle for an audience. In a word,
Aurora is all-accomplished.

Signor Pacheco uttered these last words with so
earnest an expression, that Don Felix said with a
smile : My friend, I advise you to stay away from
Donna Kimena's ; it will be more for your peace of
mind. Aurora de Guzman may set your wits a
wandering, and inspire a passion . . .

I have no need of seeing her again, interrupted
he, to become distractedly enamoured of her. I am
sorry for you, replied the pretended Mendoza, for
you are not a man to be seriously caught, and my
cousin is not to be made a fool of, take my word for
it. She would never encourage a lover whose
designs were otherwise than honorable. Otherwise
than honorable ! retorted Don Lewis ; who could
have the audacity to form such on a lady of her rank
and character? As for me, I should esteem myself
the happiest of mankind, could she be prevailed on
to favor my addresses, and link her fate with mine.

THE PLOT THICKENING. 395

Since those are your sentiments, rejoined Don
Felix, you may command my services. Yes, I will
go heart and hand with you in the business. All
my interest in Aurora shall be yours, and by to-
morrow morning I will commence an attack on my
aunt, whose good word has more influence than you
may think. Pacheco returned his thanks with the
best air possible to this young go-between, and we
were all agog at the promising appearance of our
stratagem. On the following day we found the
means of heightening the dramatic effect by en-
tangling the plot a little more. My mistress, after
having waited on Donna Kimena, as if to speak a
good word in favor of the suitor, came back with
the result of the interview. I have spoken to my
aunt, said she, but it was as much as I could do to
make her hear your proposal with patience. She
was primed and loaded against you. Some good-
natured friend in the dark has painted you out for a
reprobate ; but I took your part with some little
quickness, and at length succeeded in vindicating
your moral character from the attack it had sus-
tained.

This is not all, continued Aurora. You had bet-
ter enter on the subject with my aunt in my presence ;
we shall be able to make something of her between
us. Pacheco was all impatience to insinuate him-
self into the good graces of Donna Kimena ; nor
was the opportunity deferred beyond the next morn-
ing. Our amphibious Mendoza escorted him into
the presence of Dame Ortiz, where such a conversa'

396 GIL BLAS.

tion passed between the trio as put fire and tow to
the combustible heart of Don Lewis. Kamena, a
veteran performer, took the cue of sympathy at every
expression of tenderness, and promised the enamoured
youth that it should not be her fault if his plea with
her niece was urged in vain. Pacheco threw him-
self at the feet of so good an aunt, and thanked her
for all her favors. In this stage of the business Don
Felix asked if his cousin was up. No, replied the
Duenna, she is still in bed, and is not likely to be
down stairs while you stay ; but call again after din-
ner, and you shall have a tete-a-tete with her to
your heart's content. It is easy to imagine that so
coming on a proposal from the dragon which was to
guard this inaccessible treasm*e, produced its full
complement of joy in the heart of Don Lewis. The
remainder of the long morning had nothing to do
but to be sworn at ! He went back to his own
lodging with Mendoza, who was not a little enrap-
tured to observe, with the scrutinizing c}^ of a mis-
tress under the disguise of a friend, all the symptoms
of an incurable amorous infirmity.

Their tongues run on no earthly subject but
Aurora. When they had done dinner, Don Felix
said to Pacheco : A thought has just struck me. It
would not be amiss for me to go to my aunt's a few
minutes before you ; I will get to speak to my
cousin in private, and pry, if it be possible, into
every fold and winding of her heart, as far as your
interests are concerned. Don Lewis just chimed in
with this idea, so that he suffered his friend to set

AunoiiA's DISCLOSURE. 397

out first, and did not follow him till an hour after-
wards. My mistress availed herself so diligently of
the interval, that she was tricked out as a lady from
heel to point before the arrival of her lover. I beg
pardon, said the poor abused inamorato, after having
paid his compliments to Aurora and the duenna, I
took it for granted Don Felix would be here. You
will see him in a few seconds, answered Donna
Kamena ; he is writing in my closet. Pacheco was
easily put off with the excuse, and found his time
pass cheerfully in conversation with the ladies. And
yet, notwithstanding the presence of all his soul held
dear, it seemed very strange that hour after hour
glided away but no Mendoza stepped forth from the
closet ! He could not help remarking, that the
gentleman's correspondence must be unusually
voluminous, when Aurora's features all at once
assumed the broader contoiu: of a laugh, with a
delightfully provoking question to Don Lewis : Is it
possible that love can be so blind as not to detect
the glaring imposition by which it has been deluded ?
Has my real self made so faint an impression on
your senses, that a flaxen peruke and a pencilled
eyebrow could carry the farce to such a height as
tliis? But the masquerade is over now, Pacheco,
continued she, resuming an air of gravity ; you are
to learn that Don Felix de Mendoza and Aurora de
Guzman are but one and the same person.

It was not enough to discover to him all the
springs and contrivances by which he had been
duped ; she confessed the motives of tender partiahty

39g <^it liLAS.

that led her to the attempt, and detailed the progress
of the plot to the winding up of the catastrophe.
Don Lewis scarcely knew whether to be most
astonished or delighted at the recital ; at my mis-
tress's feet he thus uttered the transports of his fond
applause : Ah ! lovely Aurora, can I believe myself
indeed the happy mortal on whom your favors have
been so lavished? What can I do to make you
amends for them? My affection, were this life
eternal, could scarcely pay the price. These pretty
speeches were followed by a thousand others of the
same quality and texture ; after which, the lovers
descended a little nearer to common sense, and began
planning the rational and human means of arriving
at the accomplishment of their wishes. It was
resolved that we should set out without loss of time
for Madrid, where marriage was to drop the curtain
on the last act of our comedy. This purpose was
executed in the spirit of impatience which conceived
it, so that Don Lewis was united to my mistress in
a fortnight, and the nuptial ceremonies were graced
with the usual accompaniments of music, feasting,
balls, and rejoicings, without either end or respite.

END OF VOL. L

r^ iv

, LIBRARY ^

^ LOS A''.

UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY

A 001 137 057 4

UCLA-College Library

PQ 1997 G5E5 1890 v.1

L 005 717 399 9